3 YEARS AGO

“MARK!” Jackson screamed at me snapping me out of my daydream.

“What? Why are you shouting?”

“Well for one thing, I’ve been trying to get your attention for the past 5 minutes. What were you even thinking about? Is it her again?”

“Sorry I was out of it and yea, I can’t seem to stop thinking about her.”

“Dude when will you have the guts to ask her out? You’ve had a crush on her since freshman year.”

“I’m working on it okay! I just want her to like me first.”

“Oh here she comes.”

I looked up and there she was, the most beautiful girl in the world. Rachel, the girl who I’ve had a crush on for years.

“Hey guys. So Mark today, 8pm your place?” She asked me with the most mesmerizing smile.

“Yea sure. See you later.”  She gave us a small wave and left.

“Another hook up?” Jackson asked with a smirk on his face.

“You know it’s not that. We’re having another study session today.”

“Years of liking her and all you’re still in the ‘study buddy’ zone. I’m disappointed in you” He said while putting on a fake grumpy look on his face.

The bell rang and we ran back to class. He was right, I wanted for us to be more than just study buddies.

 

It was 8 p.m. and I waited anxiously in my living room for her to come. My parents were out for the week and I had the whole house to myself which was a relief since I wanted to be alone with her. The door bell rang and I rushed to open the door. There she was, standing in front of me, a real life angel. I let her in and we sat down on my kitchen table and discussed some math problems.

“Hey mark can you help me out with this one? I’m really confused.”

I nodded and started explaining the problem to her and when I was done, I looked at her and saw that she fell asleep. She must be really tired. I took the pencil she was holding and carried her to the sofa. I laid her down and grabbed a blanket to put over her. I kneeled down next to her and smiled.

“When will I be able to tell you how I feel?” I sighed.

“How do you feel?” She suddenly said as she slowly opened her eyes.

I was completely shocked.

“How long have you been awake?”

“I just woke up. Now tell me how do you feel?”

I looked at her and finally gathered up the courage to say “I’ve had a crush on you since forever.”

Her eyes suddenly lit up and a smile appeared across her face. She leaned in and kissed my cheek then stood up and started packing up her things on the table.

“Where are you going?” I said as I watch her put her books in her bag

“Home. As you can see Mr. Tuan its getting really late I should get going before my parents get worried.”

“I’ll take you home. Its too dangerous for you to go alone.”

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Tomorrow? Its Saturday tomorrow.”

“Yea we’re having our first date tomorrow. Pick me up at 11!”

PRESENT

3 YEARS AGO

I looked into the mirror once again and made sure I looked good enough for Rachel. It was 10:30 and I left my house to go pick her up. Her house was only a bus stop away but I wanted to be early to leave a good impression. I started my car and drove to her house. I waited till it was exactly 11 to ring the door bell. Luckily she was the one to open her door so I could avoid any awkward conversations with her parents. She was only wearing a regular t-shirt and jeans but she looked so beautiful I couldn’t keep my eyes off her.

“Ready to go?” I said.

She nodded and we walked to the car.

“So where are you taking me?” She said as she was putting on her seat belt.

“I don’t want to sound creepy or anything but I’ve been planning our first date ever since I started liking you so I have the entire day planned out.”

She smiled and kissed me on the cheek.

“What was that for?” I said, completely shocked with what just happened.

“For being you”

I smiled and started to drive. The whole drive was amazing, we were singing along to songs on the radio and talking about the most random stuff. I didn’t want it to end. Unfortunately, we arrived at our destination 45 minutes later.

“An amusement park?” She asked

“Yea. Do you not like it? We can go to other places.” I said, a bit worried that she doesn’t like my idea of a first date.

However, she put on a huge smile on her face and said, “I love it!!!”

We both got out of the car and started exploring the place. We went on roller coaster rides and water rides. We also went in the haunted house, which was my least favorite. I thought I could protect her and hug her when she was scared but it turns out I ended up being the one who is scared and she was the one having to protect me. She found it amusing but I found it embarrassing.

We also played the mini games and I won a teddy bear for her.

“Hey mark let’s take a picture together.”

I nodded and I took out my phone and put my arms around her while she hugged the teddy bear. I kissed her cheek and took the picture.

When it was starting to get late, I suggested going home but she said she wanted to ride the ferris wheel before we went home.

When we were inside, she looked at me and suddenly thanked me.

“What for?”

“I haven’t had this much fun in years. Thank you for making me feel so happy.”

“You’re the one who made me happy.”

PRESENT

Tears were flowing out my eyes. I couldn’t stop crying.

“Don’t worry son it’ll be alright.” Her dad said while giving me a pat on my back

I was supposed to be the one comforting them but they ended up comforting me.

I looked at her little brother and I saw how scared he was. They were both so close, I can’t imagine how he must be feeling right now.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

1 YEAR AGO

It was our 2 year anniversary and this year, I decided to ask help from Daniel, her brother for her surprise.

“Okay so tell your sister that you want to spend time with her today and don’t let her come back home no matter what!! I need time to decorate the house.”

After I get Daniel to agree, I went to see her parents to ask permission to be able to use the house for the entire day. They gladly allowed me.

After she left with Daniel, I immediately started preparing for the surprise. I decorated the walls with all of our pictures in the past 2 years and set up a table in the middle of the room with a cake and a letter. I decorated her rooms with a bunch of cards saying ‘I love you’ and a scrap book of our dates.

5 hours later I got a text from Daniel saying he was on his way home so I turned off the lights and waited for her.

When I heard her car pulling up in the driveway, I prepared my guitar and as she walked in, I sang for her.

“I know I have a terrible singing voice but I learned how to play the guitar just for you. Everything I have done for the past 2 years are all for you. I want you to know how much you mean to me and how thankful I am that you would want to be with someone like me. Thank you for accepting my flaws and I promise to love you forever.”

Tears started to form in her eyes and she ran to hug me. She whispered a small thank you. And during that moment, I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming rush of joy. I was happy and she was the reason why.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

PRESENT

A doctor stepped out of the operating room and we all rushed to his side, patiently waiting for what he has to say. “Ms Rachel’s family?”

1 WEEK AGO

“Why were you flirting with him?” I said with anger as we both stepped in the car.

We were both invited to a reunion party and she was catching up with some friends.

I couldn’t help but feel jealous when she was happily chattering with our old classmate, Wonho.

“I wasn’t flirting. We were just talking. Why are you so mad at me?”

And that was the start of our huge fight.

I don’t know why but ever since that happened, we’ve been fighting about everything that went wrong in the past 3 years. We have always got through our problems together but from that day onwards, all we did was scream at each other.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

10 HOURS AGO

It was our 3 rd year anniversary but we were still on no speaking terms. I decided to text her.

“Are we doing anything tonight?”

A few minutes later, my phone beeped with a reply

“idk”

I started to get angrier. It was our anniversary and all she said was a short “idk”

I sent her angry messages and we fought over the phone.

After an hour, the fight still went on.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? SHOULD WE JUST BREAK UP?”

That was the last message I sent to her before she stopped replying. The sign showed that she did read the message but she didn’t reply over an hour which started to worry me.

Was I too harsh? I started to regret and called her. However she wasn’t the one who picked up. I heard a male voice over the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hello? Who is this? Where is my GIRLFRIEND?’ I said, a little annoyed that another man was answering the phone.

“Are you Ms rachel’s boyfriend? I’m calling from the hospital. Ms Rachel has been badly hurt in a car accident.

That was when time stopped. My phone fell on the ground and I started shaking. Why? How?

I picked up the phone again and asked the man what happened.

“Ms Rachel was crossing the street and she must have been on her phone because she didn’t seem to notice that the sign was red and that’s when a car hit her.”

I started crying. She was on her phone, she was reading my message when she was crossing the road. This was all my fault.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

PRESENT

"I'm sorry for your loss" That was the last words the doctor said before leaving. I lost my balance and fell to the ground. I never had the chance to apologize. I didn't get a chance to tell her that i didn't want us to break up. I didn't have a chance to tell her that i wanted to propose tonight and i wanted to get married to her and grow old with her. If only we never started that fight wouldn't things end differently?

Today was our 3rd year anniversary, we were supposed to celebrate it. I wasn't supposed to lose her.

7th November, the date of when i finally got her but also the date of when i lost her.