Chapter 5 : Baby Steps

“Latios, or Latias?” Jongdae asks.

Yixing looks scandalized. “You can’t make me pick between them, they’re meant to be together!”

Jongdae hides a smirk. “Okay, Plusle or Minun?”

Yixing points a shaking finger at him. “How could you, you train those Pokémon!” Jongdae laughs and Yixing pouts at him. “Don’t laugh at me, you meanie!”

Jongdae sobers up. “I’m sorry, it’s just so much fun to tease you.”

“I’ve been told,” Yixing says with a heavy sigh.

Hoof beats sound from behind Jongdae, and he turns around. Saturn trots up and snorts, pawing at the ground.

“You need to wait,” Jongdae says firmly. “I’m not ready to leave.” Saturn gives Jongdae a dirty look and flounces off to eat some dandelion leaves. Jongdae rolls his eyes. “Brat,” he mutters.

“He learns from his trainer,” Yixing says. “You’re kind of a brat yourself, Jongdae. Shouldn’t you be back at the gym?”

“Not for another twenty minutes,” Jongdae says, laying back in the grass. He closes his eyes against the sun and sighs happily. “The first nice day all week…I’d be amazed if anyone came to challenge us today.”

“The good weather will only serve to make people more bold!” Yixing says. “Jongdae, I’d be amazed if you didn’t have a line of challengers waiting when you get back, which you really ought to do.”

“Yes mom,” Jongdae says, sitting up. “If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were trying to get rid of me.”

“Good thing you know better, then,” Yixing says with a smile. “But my break is almost up, too. Got to go get ready to heal the Pokémon of the trainers you’ll meet today.”

Yixing stands and brushes grass from his pants, and Jongdae struggles to keep his eyes on Yixing’s face and off of his backside. “Same time tomorrow?”

“If the weather is nice,” Yixing says. He waves to Jongdae and Saturn. “See you soon!”

When Yixing leaves, Jongdae flops back in the grass and covers his face with his hands, groaning loudly. “I’m not gay,” he mutters. “I’m not.”

Saturn whinnies, and Jongdae throws a handful of grass at his Pokémon. “Shut up, you.”

As the newest member of the Elite Four, Jongdae is the first trainer that challengers meet when they come to battle the Elites. The purpose of the Elite isn’t to be unbeatable, it’s to be great trainers that others can learn from, as Jongdae is so often reminded. It’s rare that a challenger can’t defeat Jongdae, though the majority never make it past Lu Han, the third trainer. Today, Jongdae faces an opponent he knows isn’t going to win against him, but who he’s not going to “defeat,” not in the traditional sense.

The trainer has only used one of his Pokémon to battle so far, a Blastoise, but he’s pushing the poor thing far too hard. Jongdae is lost as to why the trainer hasn’t switched to another Pokémon yet, but he’s about to find out.

“Emolga, stand down,” Jongdae commands.

“What are you doing?” The trainer cries. “We’re not done!”

“Your Pokémon is,” Jongdae says, nodding at the poor Blastoise. “If you don’t switch it out right now, I’m not going to continue this battle.”

“You mean you’re forefitting,” the trainer sneers.

“No, I mean I’m not continuing,” Jongdae repeats. “Read the damn rule book, kid. I’m allowed to discontinue a battle if I feel a trainer is taking advantage of his Pokémon.”

The other trainer turns red in the face “I don’t tell you how to train your Pokémon, so don’t you tell me—!”

Jongdae swears he can feel electricity crackling in the air around him. He raises his voice over the other trainer. “I am about to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life! Bastoise, turn and face your trainer!”

Jongdae may not be it’s master, but the Pokémon does as he says.

“Look at your Pokémon!” Jongdae thunders. “If you continue to force it to battle, you will lose the match, but more importantly, you will lose it’s trust and respect. If you won’t do the decent thing on your own, I will force you to do it! Your Pokémon knows it as well as I do!”

The other trainer falters, and Jongdae sees some of the fight leave his eyes. He reaches for the Pokeball to call Blastoise back.

“No,” Jongdae says. “Apologize to it.”

The trainer takes a halting step forward, then another, and another, until he’s standing on the battle field. He reaches up and rubs his hand over Blastoise’s head. “I’m sorry, buddy,” he says quietly. “I was wrong to push you like that.”

Blastoise falls to the ground, its knees finally having given out. It goes back to its Pokeball without a fight. The trainer stares at the ground as he mumbles that he surrenders the match.

As soon as the trainer leaves, the other member of the Elite Four come through the back door and start applauding.

“Well done,” Yifan says approvingly.

“I wouldn’t have done it any differently,” Lu Han says.

Jongdae slumps to the ground, and they all rush to his side.

“You okay?” Yifan asks.

Emolga comes to Jongdae’s side, and Jongdae pats her head. “He was too prideful,” Jongdae says. “Too hung up on his big, strong Pokémon being beaten by my little one, never mind that water types are weak to electric! God, he was so pig headed, I just…it was killing me to have Emolga attack it.”

Jongin pats Jongdae’s back. “That’s what makes a good trainer, you’re empathetic to all Pokémon’s needs.”

“He wasn’t a trainer,” Jongdae growls. “He was a novice. I’m amazed he made it this far.”

“Now let’s not get carried away,” Lu Han scolds, “He listened to you, and let’s not forget that listening counts for something. Don’t beat on him too much.”

Jongdae doesn’t argue, but he doesn’t agree either. Instead he gets up and announces that he needs some tea, and asks the other three to join him.

“Do you think that making Pokémon battle is cruel?”

Yixing looks at Jongdae in shock. “That’s an odd question, coming from someone who makes a living from it.”

Jongdae flinches and Yixing looks hurt.

“I didn’t mean that in a bad way,” Yixing says.

“I know,” Jongdae says quietly. Saturn trots over and nuzzles Jongdae’s shoulder. Jongdae pats him absent mindedly. “I mean, I thought once the league introduced the rule that says a Pokémon doesn’t have to faint for a match to be won, trainers would listen. But I feel like too many of them still push their Pokémon too far.”

“Sounds like something happened recently,” Yixing says.

Jongdae tells him about the trainer he battled yesterday. “The look in that poor Blastoise’s eyes…like it was just waiting for its master to call it back…it waited so long, I wish I had said something sooner, but I just kept attacking it…” Jongdae rubs his hand over his face, hoping he didn’t start crying. “I don’t know why it’s been getting to me so much lately.”

“You’re stressed,” Yixing says. “Look, we’re both busy right now, but why don’t you come to my house tonight and I’ll make you some tea, does that sound good?”

Jongdae nods hesitantly. “If it’s not too much trouble.”

“It’s not. I’ll see you tonight!” And Yixing gives Jongdae a quick hug before he goes back to the Pokémon center.

Jongdae lingers, watching Yixing go. He never expected to find such a good friend in Yixing, considering that when they met, Yixing called Jongdae just about every insulting word in the world. Though to be fair, Jongdae had done quite the idiotic thing, going into the middle of an empty field in a lightning storm to find Shinx. Though, being in the field wasn’t what got Jongdae in trouble—it was when he was walking home on the road and had almost been crushed by a falling tree that he’d gotten in trouble. Yixing had been inside the nearby Pokémon center and seen the tree fall, and he’d rushed out and dragged Jongdae inside. After hearing why Jongdae was out in such a dangerous storm, Yixing had almost exploded with anger. At the time, dazed from the adrenaline rush, all Jongdae could do was laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Plus Yixing was yelling at him in Chinese, and something about Yixing’s gentle face turning red from anger and the fact that Jongdae couldn’t understand a word he was saying made the situation even funnier to him.

Once both Yixing and Jongdae ha dcalmed down, they waited out the storm with peaceful conversations. Jongdae told Yixing all about his Pokémon and introduced him to Saturn. Yixing had been amazed that Jongdae had such a wonderful relationship with the notoriously difficult zebstrika, and had told Jongdae that he ought to challenge the Elite Four. At the time, Jongdae hadn’t been interested, but he decided to stay close to the town so he could keep in touch with his new friend. Jongdae had been camping out in Yixing’s backyard when Joonmyun left the Elite Four, and it was at Yixing’s urging that Jongdae went to apply for the empty position.

Yixing is probably the best friend Jongdae has ever had, and he keeps telling himself that it’s because he’s never had a friend like Yixing that he sometimes gets confused about what he’s feeling. Jongdae comes from a family that expects him to marry a woman and have children someday, and he’s never loved a man before in his life. He’s also never loved a woman so it’s only normal that he’s confusing friendship for love.

“It’s totally normal,” Jongdae mutters. “Totally.”

“This is my own special kind of tea,” Yixing says, showing the loose leaves and herbs to Jongdae. “It took a lot of trial and error, but I’ve perfected it now and I find that it’s great at relieving stress.”

Jongdae nods and tries to look relaxed. He’s camped out in Yixing’s backyard, but rarely ever come into the house, especially for a meal. Yixing keeps odd hours at the Pokémon center and Jongdae’s never wanted to bother him by coming in. Yixing’s house is adorable, as are his Pokémon, who roam freely. Yixing’s Azurill is currently sitting on Jongdae’s lap, peeping at him like a little chick. The other Pokémon vary between playing with a bunch of crystals and following Yixing around with hearts in their eyes. Jongdae can’t say he blames them for that.

“What are the crystals for?” Jongdae asks.

“Some people believe certain kinds of crystals can be healing,” Yixing explains. “I’ve been given many such crystals over the years. I don’t know if I believe in it, but I let my Pokémon play with the crystals. They seem to like it, and I’ll take one to work with me and hold on to it when I miss them. I find it very therapeutic.”

“That’s adorable,” Jongdae blurts.

Yixing grins at him. “Thank you. Now here, drink up.”

Jongdae takes one sip of the tea and feels like he’s melting. He leans back in his chair and closes his eyes. “Oh my god,” he mutters.

Yixing laughs. “Yeah. Is it too intense?”

Jongdae shakes his head. “This is amazing.” He opens his eyes again and blushes when he sees Yixing’s smile. “You should go into business with this,” he says, hoping Yixing won’t notice how pink his cheeks must be.

“Oh, I’ve thought about it, but the tea is so hard to make and be disastrous if it’s made incorrectly. And I’ve found that if I’m stressed when I make it, it tastes wrong. Plus it needs to be brewed for a certain amount of time, and it’s a whole process that would make it very hard to mass produce, so I only share it with very close friends.”

Jongdae looks away, suddenly shy. “You’re sharing with me,” he mumbles.

“Yes, because you’re a very close friend.”

Jongdae blushes from the roots of his hair to the tips of his toes, and he knows there’s no hiding it.

The next time Jongdae sees Yixing is three days later, after both of them had been kept busy by their respective jobs. Jongdae’s really starting to feel the pressure of being a member of the Elite Four, and he’s been thinking long and hard about what to do about it. Which is why he’s standing in front of Yixing, nervously wringing his hands.

“Just spit it out,” Yixing says, but in a gentle tone. “I promise you’ll feel much better.”

Jongdae takes a deep breath. “I’m not sure how much you know about the Elite Four, but the thing is, we’re allowed to hire assistants. People who can help us with our Pokémon and such. So far Yifan is the only one to have one. But I was wondering if you would like to be my assistant.”

Yixing looks shocked. “I’d have to quit my job.”

Jongdae gulps. “I know, and I’m not asking for you to give me an answer right now…”

“Why me?”

“Because…you’re my friend, and you know me, and I know you. I think we could work well together.”

Yixing sighs and looks disappointed. “Jongdae, this is a big decision for me. Honestly, I would be honored to be your assistant. But I’m not going to accept this offer until you ask me properly.”

Jongdae flounders like a fish out of water. “Properly?”

Yixing stands up. “Think it over, and find me when you figure it out.”

He walks away, and Jongdae feels like the biggest idiot in the world.

‘Ask me properly.’

The thing is, Jongdae kind of knows what Yixing means, but he’s not sure if he can do it. He’s never been so scared in his whole life, he would rather go back into an open field of lightning than open up that conversation. And he really wants to talk to somebody about it, but the person he wants to talk to most is Yixing, and Yixing said to come find him when Jongdae had figured it out. Jongdae took that to mean that Yixing didn’t really want to see him at the moment.

“So I like him,” Jongdae mutters to himself, pacing around his room. “We’re not a different species, we’re two adult men who are free to do as we please. My parents love me, they’ll come around. And even if they don’t, I can’t live under their thumbs forever. I am my own person.”

He collapses on his bed with a groan. “Why is this so hard?”

“Why is what so hard?”

Jongdae falls off the bed and lands with a yelp. “Sehun!! Don’t you knock?”

“I did,” Sehun says with a smug grin, “You were too busy talking to yourself to notice. So, what’s got you all worked up?”

“It’s personal,” Jongdae mutters.

“That’s never stopped anyone before,” Sehun says, coming in and sitting himself on Jongdae’s bed. “So talk.”

Jongdae sighs and leans against his bed. “Well, can I as you something a bit personal?”

“You can, but I might not answer.”

“How did you know that you were…that you liked Yifan?”

“I wanted to kiss him, among other things,” Sehun says.

“And that was it?”

“You mean did I have an identity crisis about my uality? Because I didn’t, but I had been raised thinking it was normal—which it is—and I didn’t have a problem.”

“Well, it’s not normal to my parents.”

Sehun leans over the edge of the bed. “Is their approval worth your happiness?”

“Kind of.”

“Okay, well have you talked to them about it?”

Jongdae looks away. “Honestly, no.”

“So for all you know, you’re freaking out about nothing.”

“I know they want grandkids from me, and they’re always asking if I have a girlfriend.”

“But do you think that all they really want is for you to be happy? Because that’s what my parents want, and I think deep down that’s what all parents want. I know you have a crush on Yixing, my gosh everybody in this town knows it. I’ve also met your parents, and I think that if they see how happy you are with him, they’ll come around. But you know, you’re not even dating him yet. I think what you need to do is give yourself a chance. See how you two work together, then worry about the far future. Baby steps, Jongdae.”

“Baby steps,” Jongdae repeats. “You think that will work?”

“It’s worked for me,” Sehun says, patting Jongdae’s head. “Just think about it.”

Baby steps, Jongdae repeats to himself. Baby steps.

It takes four days for Jongdae to finally summon the courage to go to Yixing’s house. Yixing isn’t home, but Jongdae has time. He sits on the front porch and waits. As it gets dark, there’s a creak from behind Jongdae and he whirls around. Yixing’s Clefairy is standing in the open door, and she beckons Jongdae in.

“Is he mad at me?” Jongdae asks quietly, not expecting Clefairy to know what he’s talking about, but she pats his hand and trills at him in what seems to be a reassuring way, and Jongdae wonders what the human race has done to deserve such wonderful companions as Pokémon.

It’s another hour before Yixing comes home. His Pokémon run up to greet him, and it’s a few minutes before he notices Jongdae sitting at his kitchen table.

“Did Clefairy let you in?” Yixing asks.

“She did.”

Yixing pats Clefairy’s head. “My polite girl,” he coos. He smiles at Jongdae. “How have you been?”

Jongdae shrugs. “Nervous.”

Yixing sits across from Jongdae and takes his hand. “I’ve been thinking, maybe it wasn’t fair of me to answer you the way I did.”

Jongdae shakes his head. “It was what I needed to hear, and I thought a lot about what you said. I’d like to discuss it with you, if this is a good time.”

Yixing smiles. “I always have time for you.”

Jongdae relaxes. “Okay. Well, the thing is, you’re a really good friend to me. And I think I like you as much more than a friend. But this is uncharted territory for me, and I’m afraid of messing things up. I would love for you to come work with me, because I feel like we could be great together. And more than that, I want you with me. That’s really what it boils down to. I want to spend more time with you. It’s entirely selfish, but it’s what I should have said from the start. I want you to be my assistant. And I want you to go out with me sometime. If that’s what you want, too.”

Yixing’s smile is the happiest Jongdae has ever seen. “Now that’s what I wanted to hear. I would be honored to be your assistant, and I would love to go out with you some time!”

Jongdae lurches forward and hugs Yixing as tightly as he dares. He buries his face in the crook of Yixing’s neck and smiles against his skin. “Thank you.”

Yixing Jongdae’s hair and kisses his cheek. “Any time.”

A week later, Jongdae writes a letter to his parents. It’s the first time he’s telling them about how he met Yixing, and what Yixing has come to mean to him. He tells them that he and Yixing are now dating, and Jongdae’s never been happier in his entire life. He tells his parents that more than a crush, he feels like he’s falling in love, and he can’t see himself being this happy with anyone else. He includes a picture of himself and Yixing, smiling at the camera, their faces pressed close. Yixing walks with him to the mailbox and they both place a kiss on the envelope for good luck.

“What now?” Jongdae asks.

Yixing kisses him lightly on the lips. “We go back to the gym and work on teaching Saturn some new battle techniques. Then tonight, we go out for ice cream. Baby steps.”

Jongdae grins. “Baby steps.”

And in a few days, Jongdae gets a letter back. All it says is,

‘You two look so happy together. We can’t wait to meet him!’