*they're both the same age 

3 Months ago

Summer. Time to go get a job and earn some money again. My summer life is hella boring I swear, every single summer all I do is work. Never got the chance to hangout and have some social life.

That was until I realized having this summer job is a good thing. Kwon Jiyong. He was working together with me. Oh, did I forget to say that I have this huge crush on him? He has this handsome popular guy image in school, but in actual fact, he is actually very shy and distant. Well not to his friends, only to people he doesn't know well.

I started talking to him in hopes of becoming his friend. I'm just satisfied with being beside him everyday even if it means I had to keep my feelings from him. But one day, I just had to spill all my feelings out because it was beginning to engulf me, if I didn't, I would have probably jumped on him or kidnap him and hide him away from the world forever. 

While we were hanging out at a park to talk about things in life, I let the cat out of the bag.

"Jiyong-ah, I wanna tell you something." 

"Sure, what is it?"

"I love you.." I squeezed my eyes tight to get ready to receive the biggest rejection I ever had in my life. It never came.

"I love you too." Those four words had shocked my soul so badly I thought I was dreaming. While I was shocked from head to toe, he was smiling calmly at me.

From that day onwards, I was so focused on him I didn't even talk to anybody except him. I didn't really mind since he was the only one for me and I would do anything for him. But, the only disadvantage in this is that he is always surrounded by people I don't know. Well, I couldn't do anything about it because he is still popular in school. I was even jealous of his friends that hanged out with him, they made him smile and laugh so much. Something he never did when he is with me.

To me, he was the only one that I would ever love.

To him, I'm probably one of those girls he played and dated with.

Present day

"Jingyo oppa, do you wanna come with me and look for a present for my cousin's birthday?" I asked when we were hanging out after school.

"Sorry Hunchae-ah, I can't."

"Why? Did your mom want you to go home early or something?" I asked hoping it was true.

"Not really, Youngbae called and asked to hangout with the others later today." My heart broke when he said that.  "Sorry, gotta go now." With that, he left me alone at the bench.

My jealousy and sadness feels like it is about to explode. This always happen, everytime one of his friends called he would accept them straightaway. I know they are his friends, but this happened too many times, my heart breaks a little every time. The sad thing is, I can't do anything about it.

I love him.. But he never once said it to me back. My feelings for him remains the same, but I doubt it is the same for Jingyo. 

There wasn't any anniversaries for both of us. He never said a single word about it since the first day. It continued for months.

 But one thing he doesn't forget to do is, every single day he would give me a rilakkuma when we bid our farewells. At first, it was pretty cute and sweet, but as it continued, it got weird and confusing to me. 

One day, I decided to try saying I love you again.

"Jingyo oppa, would you come here for a minute?" 

"Yes Hunchae?" He walked over to me and hugged me from the back.

I turned around to face him, "I just wanted to say I love you." I kissed his lips hoping he would say it back.

He arms slowly left my waist and went down to his side. This wasn't the reaction I was expecting. He took out something from behind him and passed it to me. It was a rilakkuma, as much as I love it, it was too much.

He ignored my three words that meant the world to me and just handed me this rilakkuma, I was hurt, seriously hurt. Then, he was gone like the wind.

The rilakkumas he gave me started to pile up at every single corner of my room like a mountain, it was never ending. I even had a whole box of it under my bed and there was still not enough space. There was so many of it that I totally lost count of how many there was.

Today is my birthday. My 19th birthday. I planned a romantic dinner for both of us, I spent the day making a sumptuous dinner for us to enjoy to only end up waiting all night for him. He didn't even contact me, not a single call or a text message wishing me happy birthday. I was angry and sad at the same time. Not a single contact for the whole day.

I threw my phone to the floor angrily and cried myself to sleep.

At 1 am, Jiyong called me.

"Let's meet up at my house." Jiyong said and hanged up straightaway.

I didn't care as happiness engulfed me, I went to house almost immediately after he called.

He was there, waiting outside. 

"Jingyo oppa."

"Here take this." He handed me another rilakkuma.

"W-What is this?" 

He shrugged, "I didn't have the chance to pass it to you yesterday so I'm passing it to you now. So, I'm going to go now, see you later."

"Do you even know what day was yesterday?" I held onto his arm, hoping that he would remember.

"What do you mean? What day was it?" He tilted his head to the left as he asked me confusingly.

I thought he would at least remember my birthday, but he didn't. Sadness started to take over my mind.

"I really have to go now, bye.." he left like nothing happened at all.

"Wait! Oppa!" I yelled after him.

"Do you have something to say to me?"

"Tell me you love me.." I looked at him sadly hoping that this time he would say it.

"Excuse me?" He looked at me confusingly again.

"Tell me!!" I ran over to him and hugged him tightly. I silently cried to myself as I didn't want him to listen to my sobbing.

He pushed me away.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Get off me." he looked at me right into the eyes, "I don't want to say I love you so easily to someone, if you are that desperate for those three words, you should really just look for someone else.." He said coldly and ran off to his house.

I felt confused, why can't he just say those three words? Is it a sin to say it? Maybe, just maybe he doesn't really like me. Maybe he is just dating me for the sake of dating me or just doesn't want to hurt my feelings by rejecting me. But this hurts so much more.

We're just not meant to be...

Next day

I decided to stay home and laze around. I stared at my phone hoping Jiyong would call, but of course, he wouldn't call. Instead, he would just place a rilakkuma outside of my house every single day in the morning without fail.

After a couple of day more, I decided to go back to school in hopes of something good happening today. But it shattered quickly as soon as I stepped into class.

There he was giving one of those rilakkuma to that new transfer student. Jiyong was smiling at her so cheerfully, something he really doesn't show to me. How I wanted to strangle that so bad for doing this. But I can't ruin everything for Jiyong, he would hate me forever...

I ran back home hoping nobody saw me in school today. But who am I really kidding? Nobody ever notices me. I went into my room, looking at all those rilakkumas that stared back at me. How a curse it was. I walked over to my drawer and took up some pictures of Jiyong and me, tearing it all apart.

Suddenly, my phone started ringing. Jiyong wanted to meet me up in the park.

I gathered all of my strength and started walking there, telling myself over and over again that it was time to move on, no more crying, no more one-sided love, no more heartbreaks. It's time to stay away from Jiyong.

Jiyong was waiting there, smiling cheerfully, he must be about to break-up with me right? He was holding a rilakkuma in his hand, must be for me, again.

"I thought you were angry with me Hunchae-ah! I thought you wouldn't come but you actually came!" he grinned at me like some happy fool.

I couldn't help but glare, how could he be so cheerful and act like nothing happened at all? I was angry as hell. Jiyong handed over the rilakkuma to me. Expecting me to take it.

"I don't want it."

"Huh? Why not?" He looked kinda sad when I said I didn't want it.

In my fit of anger, I slapped it away and it flew to the road.

"I don't want to see you and that stupid rilakkuma anymore! I am through with you! You made my heart break so many times and I had to fix it back myself! I don't want to see your face anymore Kwon Jiyong!" I spat those words out in anger.

Unlike any other days, Jiyong looked really sad when I said all those. His eyes started to be filled with sadness and hurt. I've never seen this part of him before.

"I'm sorry Hunchae-ah.." He whispered softly.

He rarely apologized to me, why now..?

He then walked towards the road.

"Why the hell are you still going after that rilakkuma?! Just leave it!"

He ignored me and continued walking, and then..

*BEEP BEEEP*

​A car was heading towards Jiyong.

"Kwon Jiyong move!!! It's going to hit you!!"

He turned towards me and looked at the car.

*BANG*

The sound that would haunt me forever...

Jiyong lied there, not moving at all. Everything seemed like it was in slow motion around me, I slowly walked over to Jiyong, when he saw me, he smiled.

"I love you..." he mouthed before closing his eyes.

"Jingyo oppa!!!"

The ambulance arrived, they brought Jiyong back to the hospital and bringing me along too.

But it was all too late, he was pronounced dead right when we arrived.

When he was about to be wheeled off, I stopped the nurses. Wanting to get some time to talk to him, they gladly obliged to my request.

"Why did you have to leave so suddenly? Right after I broke up with you. Right after you showed me you actually had feelings. Right after I wanted to move on. Why did you have to pick that rilakkuma that you were going to give me for the last time? Why? I hate you for making me love you so badly. I will take care of this rilakkuma. Don't worry about it. For the last time Kwon Jiyong, I love you with all my heart." I cried and walked away from his body.

After a few months of crying, I decided to get myself together and move on. I finally went back to all my rilakkumas and counted every single one of them, signaling how many days we were together. 199 rilakkumas. 199 days of love. 199 days that he didn't say I love you. I threw the rilakkuma to the wall in anger, because I won't ever see his face again. I hate how I still miss him. 

"I..love you Hunchae-ah." The rilakkuma talked.

My eyes widened. That was Jiyong's voice for sure. No doubt. I walked over to the rilakkuma and threw it again.

"I..love you Hunchae-ah." Oh gawd, please tell me this isn't true.

I pressed every other rilakkuma, it all say the same thing. Jiyong did say I love you every single day. Why was I so blind and stupid? Was I really that impatient about wanting him to say it when he didn't want to? He has always been my side and protecting me and I never realized it.

I reached under my bed and took out a small box, it contained the last rilakkuma Jiyong gave me, it was smeared in blood due to the accident. I squeezed it. 

"This is awkward but I'm gonna do it because I'm a man! *chuckles* Anyways, Hunchae-ah, this is our 200th day together. Can you believe it? 200 days! 165 more days to a year! Although you might not see it, I am the happiest man on earth because of you! I'm sorry I can't I love you everyday. I'm more sorry about you birthday, I really am. I was too shy and nervous to say those three words. If you promise to forgive me and take this rilakkuma then I would promise you that I would say I love you to you every single day because I really do! In fact, I would say it to you until my last breath on earth. Please forgive me about before! I love you so much Hunchae-ah! Love, your Jingyo oppa."

My tears was uncontrollable now, I began punching the wall till my knuckles started bleeding.

"Why? Why did you have to do this? WHY?!" 

Why did I have to discover this so late? Jiyong always loved me. He also never lied about loving me till his last breath. I recalled that day's event. The way he mouthed I love you hurts me so much. 

"I love you too Jingyo opaa... I forgive you, but will you please forgive me..?" 

I hope wherever you are right now, you would forgive me and hear this, I love you.

A/N : Cries a river. Don't kill me for ending it this way D: Comment about your feelings plox? D; 

I really hope you guys will like it tho, even though it has a sad ending ;_;

Its like my other story -facepalm- dying. T_T

Should I make a reincarnated version? Lel, just joking. Srsly tho should I? Maybenot. ha. look at me answering myself.

I didn't spell check it btw, sorreh~~

Adios~ before people start killing me~