It's Autumn now or Fall and I hope that as this season would go my feelings will too.

I remember to well the day when we I saw you, took a glance at you. It was four years ago, first day of college classes, you were sooo late and I don't know if I was fortunate or not that we were in the same group because something started. A feeling. A feeling that once I didn't even know or felt, a feeling that I'm so ignorant about, a feeling that's very different and a feeling that can either bring me to cloud 9 or can bury me 6 feet under. I know I once told you I won't like you because you're so quite but hell you've prove me so wrong . You've turned my world upside down. Man, I fell six feet under. You make me feel so important and wanted, you gave me things that I never thought anyone could. Your words are so believable. I thought wow, I couldn't ask for more but I was again wrong while I was busy planning for our future you were also so busy hooking up with somebody to think we we're just on our half a year relationship. I was so depressed I just want you back to me. And then I don't know if you've heared my please beacuse you came back to me. We build a three year relationship and I know we we're never the couple we used to be, we always fought, we're on this on and off relationahip, we we're the couple who nagged eachother and you we're getting possesive and I think I am too. Because it's like I was the only one building our caste and you were just there staring at me letting me do all the work which I can't handle anymore. My friends would scold me and tell me to let go but I can't or simply because I won't. I was afraid, so afraid of the thinking that there will be no "us" anymore. That there will be no me and you anymore. But enough is enough I've tried everyhting but it's like those everyhting were nothing to you. Then I let go. I let you go, the most important hing in my life. It was so hard love, I can't eat, I can't study well, I always cry even at school and I always spaced out thinking that I made the wrong choice of letting you go. But I was so occupied of you that I have forgotten my best of friends whose always theor for me, to comfort and never got tired of cheering me up. They made me feel important again but I was never alive the way I used to be. On my last year of my college days you spoke to one of my friends, you said you wanted to talk, you felt sorry and you've asked how I am and my friend told you to back off because I was so hurt, very hurt love. I was thrilled that you have been thinking about me but I can't go back to the yesterday to being us again. I don't want to fell that depression again, I don't want to be hurt that badly again. Coward ? I don't know if I am I just don't want to experienced that again knowing that I'm still broken because honestly for four years , five years almost I STILL LOVE YOU. I haven't moved on yet, no matter how I tried. I don't know when, how and who can fix me but i'm hoping somebody can because, because of you I have fallen six feet under and I can't seem to stand anymore.