" Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor. "

Experienced hands lift a tonged photo paper and transfer it from the developer and onto the stop bath, before another photo paper slips and submerges into the vacated tray. The same tongs shake the excess chemicals off the photo paper before sliding it into the fixer, and just as he has done for the previous six prints, he draws his attention away from that very paper, choosing instead to move the developing photo into the stop bath, as the last takes its place. Nine prints. Nine prints that wield the power to change everything.

 

-x-

It all starts with the press of another body right against his back, followed by sharp pain as something thin yet strong makes itself at home between his shoulder blades. The quiet hiss that follows is drowned out by the loud cacophony of hundreds of students making their way across campus. An angled glare thrown over his shoulder is too slow to catch the identity of his... assaulter, and he watches as a tall, wiry body hastily makes itself scarce, easily slipping through the crowd.

That’s the first of many times he sees that very same body moving around the halls, sitting at a desk or stretching up to retrieve a book at the library. He’s not sure how he knows it’s the same person, maybe it’s his height- nah, there are tons of tall guys around the place. Maybe it’s his body type? Then again, there’s no shortage to those thin, scrawny types. Sure as hell can’t be his hair. It’s not easy to catch a glimpse of whatever colour it would be from all the way across the hall, not to mention those darned beanies the guy has a tendency to wear. 

A sharp poke to his upper arm has him snapping out of his reverie, an annoyed groan slipping past his chapped lips. What is it with people and prodding him with stuff? If not pencils and fingers, then… Shoulders. Thin, creamy... Soft-looking shoulders... 

WHACK!

Hissing, he cradles the back of his head while ducking half way under the table. “What the do you want Kyungsoo?!”

“You, to pay more attention obviously. You were staring. Again.”

Kai glowers at Kyungsoo, his so-called 'friend' before re-directing his gaze to a seat a few levels lower than his, or rather, its occupant.

It's burgundy today, he notes with slight amusement as he once again takes in the colourful beanie hiding hair of unknown colour, texture and length from him.

“Honestly man. What’s with you and that guy? How long has it been now… weeks?”

“I-”

“I’m surprised he hasn’t noticed you burning holes through his back what with this entire staring thing. I’m starting to think you’re obsessed-”A jacket thrown in his face cuts Kyungsoo short, and he slowly pulls it off, shooting Kai one of his infamous glares. He rolls his eyes in annoyance as the younger male hisses a pointless shut the up before he hears you! “He’d have to be half canine to hear us from where’s he’s at.” 

Kai ignores Kyungsoo and turns back to the front, starting slightly as his eyes meet steely, grey ones. All thoughts of the object of his attention overhearing them leave his mind as he marvels silently at how the other’s eyes don’t seem to have any colour in them. It would be kinda creepy, then again, they look- good on him. That colour though... contacts probably? The other male swivels around to face forward and Kyungsoo’s left trying to get an awestruck Kai to concentrate.

That night, Kai stares at his hung prints with a look of total confusion. How did the prints change colour? He did add them to the fixer right? He definitely did. Though judging by what looks like dark red colouring the photo paper, there’s no way its lack of adequate fixing. Sighing, he unclips the prints and drops them onto the counter, before walking out of the room and closing the door behind him. The thin shard of light slipping past his figure and into the room, makes its way to the spread prints, illuminating them. The tired male doesn’t bother turning around to see the light make the prints take on a burgundy colour.

 

-x-

Weeks go by with his prints taking on colour, and it’s either one shade or an array of others. Just when he thinks they’ve gone back to their normal –and his signature- black and white finish, he finds himself staring in disbelief at the paper between his fingers. He holds a print up for inspection, brow furrowed in absolute confusion as he takes in the speckled pattern running across the paper. 

“It’s definitely not my camera that’s causing this. I took pictures for the autumn edition using it and they turned out completely normal.” He turns toward Kyungsoo with a perplexed gaze and s the prints into the other’s face. “How am I supposed to make an entry for the competition with this kinda ?”

Kyungsoo, upon sensing the younger’s frustration, takes pity on him and pulls the photos from his grip, leafing through each and every one of them. His brow furrows slightly to mirror Kai’s as he sets them on the table. “This pattern… not very common is it?”

“Who cares about the soddin’ pattern. The do I do about all these stupid colours ruining my p-“ Kai’s cut off by Kyungsoo snapping his fingers with what can only be described as an enlightened look crossing his features.

“Didn’t that kid’s beanie have this pattern?”

“What kid?”

“That kid you’re always staring at-”. Fingers clamping around his bicep shut Kyungsoo up as Kai looks around hastily.

“Quiet before someone hears you-“

With an impatient scoff, Kyungsoo tugs his arm free and pushes the prints against Kai’s chest. “Look at them for yourself and tell me these colours don’t remind you of him.”

Kai shoots Kyungsoo a withering look. “Even if they do, what does any of this have to do with Sehun?”

“Sehun-?”

“I-“

All it takes on Kyungsoo’s part is a well-aimed look, and Kai starts mumbling. “Met him at dance practice yesterday.” 

“And…?”

“And what?”

“Nothing earth stopping happened? C’mon Jongin, let’s be real here. Your obsession with the guy’s starting to show in your work too so it’s only natural for me to assume-” Kyungsoo’s chatter is cut short by the sound of the door swinging shut, signaling Kai’s departure.

 

-x-

Weeks turn into months and Kai’s slowly, very, very slowly, starting to come to terms with the fact that maybe Sehun really is affecting his work.

Spring passes by and summer finds Sehun replacing his beanies with either snapbacks or nothing at all to cover that mop of luscious hair.

Kai finds it increasingly frustrating that now instead of patterns and warm colours appearing in only his prints, they’re starting to colour his lens too.

It happens when Sehun straightens up from doing his stretches, vision going blind for a second as a flash goes off into his face.

“The ?”

His vision returns and is met by a sheepish look on Kai’s face as the other mumbles a for the dance section, sorry and retreats to the far end of the dance studio. Cocking a brow at the suddenness of it all, Sehun turns back to where Ryeowook’s taking position, his fingers carding through freshly dyed blonde locks, not noticing how Kai’s staring at the display screen with complete disbelief painting his features at the almost straw coloured display with the only difference in colour being Sehun’s grey eyes.

 

-x-

Chanyeol once tells him between swigs of lager, that his daughter Yoonie asked why her uncle Kai always takes black and white pictures. Probably looks dull to a five year old, he muses. 

It’s only because Chanyeol, like Kyungsoo, is his closest friend and now brother-in-law, that he answers him.

“It’s ‘cause I see the world in black and white. It’s all monochrome to me.”

Chanyeol doesn’t say anything to that, and Kai doesn’t comment on the fact that after that, he can feel the other's eyes on him throughout their time on the balcony.

 

-x-

Looking back on that day, Kai wonders if he’d still say the same as he lies besides Sehun’s form, his arm wrapped snugly around the other as he gazes at the beautiful boy baring himself to Kai. It’s astounding just how vulnerable Sehun looks when asleep.

Minutes turn into half-hours as Kai’s left gazing softly at the other. He takes in the slight furrow of the other’s brow, as well as the soft pucker of rose tinted lips. His gaze leaves no part of Sehun untouched and then he directs his gaze to the other’s now dye-free brown hair, and with the moonlight slipping through the curtains in the light breeze to caress his lover’s dainty shoulders, Kai thinks he can live his whole life in that one moment.

His arm slowly uncoils around Sehun’s waist as he reaches for his camera lying on the bedside table, and he takes picture upon picture of the one who is turning his whole world upside down and dowsing it with vibrancy, colour and life.

A soft whine and sneaky hands winding themselves around his middle distract Kai, and he places his camera back on the bedside table before shifting languidly and mounting Sehun’s accepting form.

That night, the display screen on his camera shows all colour there is to life. His Sehun lying fast asleep while surrounded by moonlight.

 

-x-

The real trouble begins when Sehun decides to dye his hair all colours of the rainbow to make up for the time he went all natural.

Kai grumbles while staring at the display screen, totally ignoring Kyungsoo who is chucking chips at his head. They are soon joined by Sehun slipping into the spot next to Kai, uncaring of the crowded cafeteria as he leans across and kisses his boyfriend on the cheek.

“Oh thank goodness you’re here, Sehun. You can take over babysitting him.”

Kai shoots Kyungsoo an unimpressed look at the comment and goes back to flipping through the pictures he’d taken on his camera, shifting discreetly as he leans into Sehun’s warmth as the younger winds an arm around Kai’s waist and drops his chin on the other’s shoulder.

“Whatcha doin’?”

Kai forces himself to bite back a smile at the other’s singsong question. Sehun only uses that voice when he’s feeling all playful and Kai could use some distraction from how- vibrant his pictures look.

Subtle footsie under the table and Sehun’s wide grin soon have all thoughts disappearing from Kai’s mind as he takes the other’s hand and leads the way to the janitor’s closet for a quickie make-out session with his boyfriend.

 

-x-

He slips down the wall and sits panting after an intense dance session. His temples pound from just how loud the beat is before he reaches over and turns down the volume. Lately he’d been getting into a lot of fights with Sehun and it was becoming more and more unbearable to hold in his frustration.

Spending time away from each other seemed to be the only solution he could come up with, so he took to avoiding the younger.

He took to dancing more often than he did photography, simply because Sehun was still colouring his prints, and after all these years of being colour-blind, the sudden zest was really starting to unnerve him. Sehun didn’t understand, and Kai was tired of trying to explain himself. It's not like I even understand it myself.

He rubs a palm across his features and raises his head, only to lock eyes with Sehun. The other silently bends and places a box on the hardwood floor of the dance studio before straightening up and sending one more unreadable glance Kai’s way before walking out the door.

Curious, Kai stands up and walks over to the door. He glances out and he can still see Sehun walking. Upon picking up what can only be a gift, he pockets the card attached to it, choosing instead to open the box.

. . .

And with his brand new camera, Kai takes a series of shots of Sehun’s retreating figure. The other’s worn a wifebeater and his bony shoulders are visible even through the display screen.

. . .

Eager to go develop the pictures, it’s not until he’s in the developing room that Kai flips open the card, and using the dim lighting, he silently reads Sehun’s farewell message to him.

. . .
 

With utter disbelief and a slight sense of impending doom, Kai watches as each of the hung prints slowly dry out. Sehun. Leaving him. Nah.

 

-x-

His hands slowly twist the card between them, before placing it on the counter numbly, eyes vacant and staring as each print displays the same frame of Sehun, and as the further he walks away from Kai, the quicker all shades and hues leave the successive photo papers.

Those same hands grip the edges of the counter, shaking with barely constrained emotion as he hangs his head, teeth gritted and eyes squeezed shut, maybe to hold back hot tears, and maybe, to try get rid of the image of thin, bony shoulders all the colour out of his life, as easily as they put them there.

-x-