‘Hey, Junhong.

How’ve you been doing?
It’s been a while.
Have you decided on higher studies? It’s that time already, isn’t it?

The sponsors for my project withdrawed.

I failed for over two and half months to produce any results in my research. There’s a 50Hz frequency that I can’t filter out to separate the heart stimulations… but no need to go into details, I suppose. Anyway; it’s really not working out. I can’t continue to use the labs without paying for them, Haha. I spent an entire week doing nothing, I can’t believe myself. Why did I even come here…?
I’ve always been busy with my work I haven’t really made any friends either.
Did I tell you about the dormitories?
They’re really small rooms. It’s all painted this ugly green, it is pretty ick now that I have time to stare at them. Actually I’ve been thinking for a while, about you.
I thought a lot before writing this.
I have a lot of reasons. Right now, I don’t really have anyone to talk to. I’ve been thinking about quitting everything and coming back, but I don’t feel quite up to that either.
I want to know if this Youngjae-guy is better than me. Does pancakes make a difference? I learnt how to make them myself. I don’t even know if you care anymore.
I suppose I should be happy for you, but I honestly don’t know. I’m not happy here.

I’m lecturing few classes a week; so it keeps me sane somewhat. The kids snicker a lot because I speak funny English, it’s funny even if I say as little as possible. It’s not really that fun on my side.

There’s a kid who spoke in Korean but I don’t know who he is.

Even Prof. Stephen is having a hard time trying to help me out. I could settle to filtering the frequency in the university lab, but that needs a lot of paper-work done; and every time I write a letter something’s wrong in it and it’s rejected.

How long has it been?
Six, seven months?
That’s only halfway through.

Twice of this, Junhong.
I don’t know.
I honestly don’t know.

I wish I had wrote to you any earlier.
 

I wish I had someone else to talk to; and even if I might sound pathetic right now; I don’t.
 

Your replies are always short.
I know you’re angry with me.
 

I truly am sorry I left.
But like you said, we can only try.

You don’t even like science, but you say the smartest things.

All we people do is try, isn’t it?
And you know what? There is no difference between math and physics. There’s no difference between Chemistry and Biology and Physics and Math and rocket science. They’re all the same; all a part of everything.

I’ll wait for your reply.
 

I’ll understand if you don’t want to.
I didn’t want to reply you after you said we’re through; so I’d understand.

But I’ll still wait.

-Yongguk.’

I was sad, but worry overpowered.
Yongguk sounds depressed, and I had no clue what to write back to him.
My replies aren’t going to help; and I knew.

Himchan-hyung was not home yet; and I felt so confused.

What do you want me to tell you?

“I’m not angry anymore, Yongguk. Don’t lose your reasons. I believe you left me here with a reason so hold on to that. I’m going to talk to Himchan hyung now.”

I had sent quickly.

What if I was already too late?
The thought made a chill run down my spine, and I felt as if things were much worse than Yongguk had tried to tell me.
Was he eating properly?

Himchan was tired than usual today.
I called him straight after eight; when his work ends. He answered lazily.

“What is it, Junhong?” He asked, his words a slur.

“It’s Yongguk.” I said. “He sent me a mail… I… It’s a week old and I only checked it today; it sounds bad.”

“What do you mean?” He asked, his tone more cautious now.

“His research stuff got stopped and… I don’t know. He wants me to reply but I don’t know what to say” My voice cracked. I am not going to cry. “He said he’ll wait but I’m so late.”

“Calm down. I’ll call him.”

“No!”

I surprised myself yelling that.

Himchan was silent.
“What do you mean ‘no’ Junhong? What do you want me to do?”

“I…”

“I want to talk to him.
Myself.”

Himchan came home, and told me he spoke to Yongguk. He said we can skype tomorrow.

I wasn’t the least bit nervous.
It just hurt.

But a lot of things had turned around in a week.

“Hey Junhong! Can you hear me?” Yongguk asked, I said yes.
He didn’t sound the least bit weary.

“I’m so sorry I sent that sort of email.” He apologized first. “Actually that kid who spoke Korean was Daehyun. He helped me a bit the last few weeks to get my papers ready and I managed to get some hours from the university lab! And I filtered the frequency, although I cheated a little – but I got it done! So; my sponsors agreed to pay for the labs again so I got back to my research!”

I heaved a sigh of relief.
But I was getting angrier again.

“Wanna take a look around? I’m in the lab right now!” Yongguk asked, and I said okay.

He turned his laptop around, and I figured why Yongguk left.
There were lots of technical stuff around and I had no idea what they were; but they all looked immensely professional. I was starting to understand the kind of great person Yongguk is, and I don’t know if I liked that feeling or not.

He’s on a completely different level than me.
What did he like about me?

Partly I was glad I hadn’t cried over this.
Yongguk is a ing idiot.
He’s a .

“So, what do you think?” he asked, and I shrugged.
“I don’t really know what’s cool, but it looks cool.” I answered honestly. Yongguk laughed.
He always laughed.

“This.” He put an arm around someone’s neck and dragged him down so they would appear in the camera. A tan Korean boy. “Is Daehyun.” He introduced. “A lifesaver.”

Daehyun chuckled.

I turned red.
Daehyun the lifesaver?

“Hi Junhong! I’ve heard a lot about you.” He said straight away, and Yongguk pushed him off.
“He talks too much.” He said.

I was pissed.
Why are we doing this?
Yongguk was perfectly fine.

“But anyway;” Yongguk started again.
“I should thank you.” He said.

“Why?” I asked.

“…” Yongguk messed his hair again. He did that whenever he was worried, or thinking seriously about something.
 

“I managed to pull myself together somehow, after I wrote that letter to you.” He smiled.
“So thank you.”

I disagreed. “I didn’t even do anything.”

He smiled. “You have no idea.” He said.

Silence continued.

“But I think you’ve given me a wonderful reply, anyway.” He said, ears turning red.
“So thank you for that too.”

I didn’t say anything.

I was slowly falling into a ve