I was wearing black; black from top to bottom. Black leather shoes, Black twill pants, Black button up shirt and my tie was no exception. The only other color in me was a white rose which I was holding with my right hand. It was a rose in full bloom. I don’t know how it smells but I’m sure that it will smell great. My left hand was pre occupied by a black umbrella that I was using to avoid getting wet. It was raining hard. So hard that all other people have to ran to some places to take shelter leaving me standing there alone.

I was in a cemetery. I don’t know why I was standing there and why my heart was hurting so much just by looking at the name imprinted on the tombstone.

 

PARK JINYOUNG

Born: September 22, 1995

Died: October 31, 2015

……………

“Kring. Kring. Kring”

I reached up for my alarm clock to stop it from ringing. I know how great it will be to continue my sleep but I also know how it will be a bad idea.

 

5 am.

 

The clock reads. I stand up, fix my bed and head to get my towel and toothbrush then start taking a shower. It was my first day in school. I let myself be soaked with warm water from the shower head. Although I know what I’m doing, my mind was still being occupied by some thought; the dream. It’s been a while since I started having that dream. Sometimes it came, sometimes it won’t. I have a friend with that name or relative so I can’t deduce why I’m having that dream. After finishing my bath, I’m hurried down to fill my stomach.

 

Today will be a great day.

 

I was welcome by pieces of bacon with was fried to perfection, sunny side up eggs, and garlic toast. There’s also a note beside it which reads

 

“Good morning honey! Got a call from the nursing home. You were sleeping soundly so I decided not to wake you up. All your favorites are there. Eat it young man. Don’t leave anything behind.”

 

It was my mom. She was the sweetest, most caring, loving person I’ve ever met. My dad? I don’t want to talk about him. He left us when I was eight; leaving my mom to work all day or all night just to support our needs. By the way, I’m Mark. Mark Tuan. Just the typically teenage guy you know. I study to get good grades so I can qualify to scholarships. Have fun, hang out when I can.

 

 

Today almost seem not to be our first day. Well, with a town as small as ours, your classmates from kindergarten will be your classmate until senior high or even until college if you decided to study in the town’s university.

 

“I’ve heard there will be a transfer student.” Jaebum said

 

“Oh really? I hope she’s cute.” Jackson replied.

 

“It’s a guy though” Jaebum chuckled.

 

“well, gender was not an issue to us anyway.” Jackson winked and Jaebum and Mark can’t help but feel gross at the gestures. Jaebum and Jackson were my friends since…. I can’t basically remember. They were other members of our group but they were in a year and two below. I was laughing my off to the scene of Jaebum running after Jackson when the door suddenly opened, revealing our home room adviser who was wearing her signature thick glasses. I was about to look away when suddenly there was someone following our teacher. the new guy. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. His hair was black in color, he seems to be fit, his lips are so kissable and most of all the crinkles in his eyes when he smiles was just unbelievable. There was a sudden urge to hug him and I’m glad I’ve control it because I was about to do a thing that I might regret the most.

 

“Okay class. Settle down please. This is the new student. I hope you’ll be good to him and be his friend” Mrs. Fei was smiling widely while saying those lines. I heard Jackson said it was creepy but I don’t really care. For at the moment, My eyes was glued on the guy beside him. I was snapped back from reality when he started to speak.

 

“Hi. I’m Park Jinyoung. Nice to meet you”

 

what? did I heard it right?

 

“What’s wrong Mark?”

 

Because of how surprised I am, I didn’t notice that I jumped from my seat and I was now standing with the whole class including him staring at me.

 

“uhm…. I was just want to say that the seat beside was vacant. Yes it was vacant so he can seat here.” It was a lie. Not one hundred percent lie though.

 

“So Mark’s already starting huh?” Jackson snickered from my side causing the whole class to laugh. Jinyoung on the other hand seemed to be embarrass because I can’t see that his cheeks was a little flushed pink. cute. really cute.

 

“Oh, sure. Okay Jinyoung you can occupied that seat.” Mrs. Fei agreed.

 

Jinyoung walked towards the seat beside me. He nodded and smile to me before he immersed himself in today’s lesson. Me, on the other hand, was also immersed on my own kind of lesson. the transfer student. I tried to fight but I can’t. I almost spend my six hours at school just by looking at him.

 

God Mark you look like an eight year old child crushing.

 

When the day ends, thanks to Jaebum and Jackson’s friendliness, Jinyoung became part of our group. We introduce him to the younger ones. Youngjae, which is a year below and Bambam and Yugyeom which are both two years below.

 

 

……..

The next day, I have my mom prepare two breakfasts for me; one for take out.

“Why are you bringing one with you, is it for Jackson and Jaebum?” My mom asked.

I nodded then kissed her goodbye. I lied. Last night, I had yet another dream but it is somewhat different from the other. It was about Jinyoung sitting inside the classroom complaining that he didn’t had his breakfast because he woke up late. And to a reason I don’t know, I brought him some.

 

It was because I care. He was my new friend after all.

 

Yes. I make myself believe that it was the reason. When I arrived at school I stop in front of Jinyoung’s seat with him being surprised. I open my bag then gave him a overloaded sandwich than a banana milk.

 

“Eat.”

 

“Hyung, how did you…..”

 

“Don’t ask just eat.”

 

The days go by with me having dreams about Jinyoung which will practically happen the next day. There was a time that I had to bring my first aid kit because I dream of Jinyoung scrapping his leg because he had to run when a neighborhood dog chase him. He asked me how I know it and I told him that I don’t. I just accidentally bring by first aid kit. From that day, I decided to be careful not helping him if it wasn’t really bad. Well, he might think that I’m his stalker or something.

It was almost like a normal senior life to us. Our first midterms have gone by with Jinyoung beating me in first place. I used to be angry when that happen last time but this time, for a reason I still don’t know, it was fine. I was fine. maybe because its him. I shook the thought from my mind then decided to go sleep. Then a dream that might change our lives came.

 

 

……….

“Hyung, hurry….”

 

“Jinyoung be careful.”

 

Beep.beep.beep and there was a screeching of a car tires.

 

“Jinyoung!!!!!!!!!!”

 

………

I woke up from my sleep catching my breath. There was I droplets of sweat in my forehead and my hands are shaking. idiot. how dare you forget such an important thing. I picked up my phone and checked the date. October 30. God, it’s tomorrow.

 

I tried to sleep again last night but unfortunately I can’t bring myself to. I walked towards the kitchen welcomed with the same note. I remember telling my mom she doesn’t need to prepare breakfast for me during weekend but I guessed nothing can really stop a mom; Right?

I was watching tv buried myself in the sofa but then the program wasn’t really going inside my mind maybe because there was something occupying my mind. I was about to fell asleep when suddenly my phone beep.

 

Jinyoung.

 

“Hello Jinyoung-ie. What’s up?”

 

“Hyung, I was thinking to go the mall today……”

 

“And?”

 

“and.....”

 

“I’m coming.”

 

“What?.... I mean hyung… are you sure? aren’t you busy or something?”

 

“Nah. I wasn’t really doing anything. What time should we meet?”

 

“1pm.”

 

“see you.”

 

“yeah hyung. see you!”

 

While I was dressing up, I suddenly remember the dream I had last night. When Jinyoung was hit by a car, the clock in the town towers clock reads, 6pm. I agreed to go with Jinyoung to the mall because first, I really want to go to a date with him although I might just me thinking like that. Being with him for the past months made me discover something. It all started with just me, caring but then it evolve into something else. I love him. I ing love him. And I will do everything today to stop the accident from happening so I can still tell him that, which was the second reason.

 

When we arrived at the mall, he told that he just to buy a few things but he was still unfamiliar with the outlet stores so he decided to ask someone to help him, and there’s me. It was quarter to six when he finished buying stuffs. only 15 minutes more.

 

“Let’s go to the other side hyung.”

 

“Wait.”

 

“Why? let’s go already.”

 

“Come on just 15 min….”

 

before I knew it, Jinyoung was already crossing the street. I look at the town tower’s clock it was a minute before six. On my right side I can see the same car in my dream. It was fast approaching and without even thinking twice I ran towards Jinyoung pushed him and everything went black.

“ Mark Hyung!!!!!”

 

……..

I was wearing white. White from top to bottom. White hospital gown, which I don’t know what’s underneath or if there was underneath it. It was standing in my bare feet in front of a hospital bed. I can see that there’s a body under the blankets and it made my heart break.

 

Did I die?

 

I don’t really decide to do it but my tears started falling on his own. It was not because of die. It was because I regret all the things that I don’t do. I regret not telling my mom how much I loved her. How I wanted to work already to help her so she don’t need to accept overtime jobs in the nursing homes anymore. and there’s Jinyoung. I regret not grabbing the opportunity to tell him how much he means to me. And now, it was gone.

 

I wipe my tears with the back of my hand then decided to walk towards the door. when suddenly….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Hyung!”

 

I froze. then turned my head towards the bed. There I saw Jinyoung. He was looking at me confused.

 

“Where do you think you’re going hyung?”

 

I ran towards him. Hugged him tightly and again I started to cry.

 

“I didn’t die? thank God. Jinyoung, Thank God.”

 

“Hyung you’re freaking me out.”

 

“What happen? I already remember pushing you. then I thought I die.”

 

“You don’t remember anything? well, you have undergone a risky operation and thank God you survived. Your mom was just here a while ago but she need to go home to get some stuffs so I was left behind to watch you.”

 

I was still hugging him tight not wanting to release him when I notice the sadness in his face.

 

“I survived then why are you looking like that?”

 

“Well,…. uhm… nevermind….but believe me, I’m really happy that you survived.”

 

“Come on. Tell me.”

 

“ sorry. if I only I follow you this will not happen.”

 

“Don’t be. I wasn’t your fault. and past is past. Is that all?”

 

“well…. yeah. that’s all.”

 

“Jinyoung!” I tried to talk with authority because although he said that that’s all I can say that there’s still more where that came from.

 

“okay okay. well, I was just thinking because you don’t remember anything from last night, maybe you also didn’t remember that.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

I can see his cheeks blushed and I can deduce what happen. but I still want to confirm it.

 

“well, you confessed…..”

 

I didn’t let him finish his statement. Well, that’s the only words I need to hear to confirm my deductions. I let my lips meet his and everything just felt amazing.

 

 

“I love you Jinyoung. And I will thank God forever for giving me this opportunity to personally tell you.’

 

“I love you too, Mark hyung.” 

 

........