“Kevin, time to wake up,” My mother’s soft voice flows through the room and a gentle hand taps my arm. I slowly open my eyes, trying to process what’s happening.

                “What time is it?” I look out the window and realize it’s still dark, and the stars are still scattered among the sky.

                “5:30. Get up. You’re going to want to get to the airport early,” The moment she says it my heart stops. Today is the day we go to America. My stomach quickly fills with butterflies, but I can’t tell if they’re from excitement or nervousness. “Kiseop’s already up.” A warm, fuzzy feeling flows through me at the sound of his name. Mom walks out of my room and heads down the hall. “I want you ready in fifteen minutes!”

                I jump out of bed, throwing my sheets and blankets to the floor. I hurry to the bathroom and wash up. I comb my hair back and apply the tiniest bit of makeup (hopefully it’ll keep me looking decent for the entire flight). I take a moment to look around my room. My suitcase and luggage sit in the corner or the room near the door, fully packed and ready. I hope I’m not forgetting anything. I walk around the room anxiously and decide to make my bed, even though Mom would have happily done it for me. “Kevin!” I can hear the frustration in her voice.

                “Coming,” I grab my bags and head down the hall. I wave of sadness overcomes me. I don’t want to leave. Although it took a while, this place feels like home. This place is home. I finally feel like I belong here. I push away my sadness and hurry down the stairs. I shouldn’t get so worked up about nothing. We’re only going to be gone for a few weeks at best and then everything will go back to normal.

                I walk into the kitchen, dragging everything behind me. Kiseop’s sitting at his usual stool and turns to give me a discrete smile. Our parents have already caught onto our unusual behavior and we’ve been trying our hardest to not lead them on any more than we already have. Mr. Lee is sitting across from Kiseop casually sipping his coffee. I can tell there’s an uneasy tension in the air. “Are you hungry?” Mom asks, already looking through the cabinets.

                “No, I’m alright. I can just grab something at the airport,” I’ll feel nauseous if I eat so early in the morning. Mom nods her head and carries about. For several minutes we sit and relax, but when the clock turns six we decide that it’s time to get going. I follow Kiseop to the door and we wait until the taxi pulls up in front of the house. Mom first gives Kiseop a long, warm hug and then turns to me. I can see tears forming on the brinks of her eyes.

                “Mom,” I whine out and pull her into a hug. She has to get so mushy about everything. She starts to babble on, expressing her contempt of my leaving her. I pull away and kiss her forehead. “I’ll see you soon,” I turn to Mr. Lee and bow my head; he smiles in return. I turn my gaze to Kiseop and begin to wonder if he’ll say anything to his father. After a moment of silence I open the door and step outside. I turn to give my mother one last reassuring smile and hold the door for Kiseop as he steps out. He turns his head and says, “Goodbye, Dad,” Mr. Lee gives a small smile.

                “Goodbye Kiseop,” With that we’re off. I roll my suitcase down the driveway and straight to the taxi. The driver steps out and helps us with our luggage.

                “Where to,” The driver asks, shutting the trunk.

                “The airport,” Kiseop says and turns to smile at me. His warm gesture actually calms my nervous feelings. I get in the car and scotch as close to Kiseop as I can, without giving the driver any impressions.

                “Are you nervous?” He asks, whispering into my ear.

                “No,”

                “I can tell your lying,” I lightly smack his arm and lean back, finally feeling the toll of waking up so early.

                “I’m not nervous, I have you,” I slide my hand down and hold onto his.

***

                “Ever flown before?” The driver asks, adjusting the radio.

                “Many times,” I say.

                “Nope,” I turn to Kiseop in shock.

                “You haven’t?” Why didn’t he tell me this earlier? Why is he asking me if I’m nervous? Kiseop shakes his head and smiles cutely.

                “Are you nervous?” I feel terrible for pushing him into this now.

                “No. I have you,” He says the last part rather quietly. I roll my eyes but smile.

                “You’re so corny,”

                “Only for you,” The taxi pulls onto the main high way and the large airport comes into view. Planes are flying in and out of the terminals and the traffic is starting to pick up. A few minutes pass before the taxi parks along the curb and we all step out. I zip my coat up and go around to the trunk to help the others unload all our stuff. Kiseop takes out our passports and papers. I look up at him and realize that he does look a little nervous. I smile to myself and thank the taxi driver before leading the way inside. “Come on Kiseoppie,” I call back to him urging him to follow.

                Registration and security take quite a while and I can tell Kiseop’s not enjoying any part of the airport process. First he freaked out when a security guard tried to pat him down and then he got all pissed at the metal detector since it kept beeping on him. I feel bad for finding his struggles entertaining, especially since this is his first time at an airport and he’s probably completely overwhelmed.

                “Where do we go?” Kiseop asks; hurrying to keep up with me. We make our way through the crowds, weaving in and out of the rolling suitcases and luggage carriers.

                “To our gate,” I say, turning to walk backwards while facing him. “Aren’t airports cool?” There’s so much we could do while we wait.

                “No,” He says, frowning, “It’s awful,”

                “Don’t be such a downer. We can stop at a café and get hot chocolate if you want,” I say with a smile, trying to lighten his mood. A few seconds pass before he breaks into a smile.

                “Alright,” we pass several small pizza parlors and cafeterias before we find a rather empty bakery. Kiseop finds a seat while I order our beverages. While I wait for the cashier to finish up I turn around and watch Kiseop. He looks so troubled trying to take his coat off without messing up his raven black hair. Everything about him is so perfect. Whenever I look at him I’m always a little surprised at how handsome he really is. And everything he does is so unbearably cute in my mind. He notices me staring and looks up with a grin.

                “What does American hot chocolate taste like?” I sit down and hand Kiseop his cup of hot chocolate, which he takes all too excitedly.

                “Just like Korean hot chocolate,” I roll my eyes at him with a smirk.

                “Now I have nothing to look forward to,” He frowns, sticking his bottom lip out.

                “You were looking forward to hot chocolate?” I ask, “Anything else?” Kiseop never really said he was excited about actually going to America just for the tourist part; even though he didn’t even say he was exactly excited to meet my dad.

                “A few things,” He smiles bashfully, looking down into his slightly steaming cup. I kick his foot underneath the table, eager to know. He runs his fingers through his hair awkwardly. “What… what do people think of… someone being gay…. I-in America?” He looks honestly curious, almost concerned.  I think for a moment, trying to figure out what he’s getting to.

                “Well, I guess it’s… accepted. Well, not everyone accepts it, but it’s tolerated. More so than here I’d say,” When I lived in America I honestly didn’t know I was gay yet, and there were only a few openly gave students at my school. They were never bullied though. They had friends, just like everyone else. And they were treated no differently.

                “Maybe we could… hold hands and stuff,” He looks up at me with bright pink cheeks. “In pubic and stuff, you know? We wouldn’t have to pretend.”

                “People would still stare at us,”

                “But at least we could. I wouldn’t care if complete strangers looked at us, you wouldn’t right? It wouldn’t matter what they would think,” Kiseop says hopefully. But the thing is, we could hold hands in public if we wanted to, whenever we want, even here. We shouldn’t have to wait to go to America to be able to do it. But we don’t hold hands and I guess what other people think is important. I despise myself for feeling like this, but I do care what people think. I wish I didn’t.

                I smile, “I guess it would be nice to be able to hold hands for once,” Maybe more good will come of this trip than I expected.

                We sit quietly within the many rows of leathered seats outside our gate, waiting to be boarded. I turn to Kiseop and realize he’s fallen asleep on his puffy jacket. I guess he didn’t sleep well last night, I surely didn’t. Watching the crowds go by only holds my interest for so long so I decide to just go back to watching Kiseop sleep.

                “Gate 36A to California will now be boarding,”

                “Kiseop,” I nudge him with my foot, “Kiseop~” I kick him harder this time and reluctantly he wakes. “Time to get on the plane,” He looks so much like a lost child that I wish I could actually hold his hand, but I don’t think now would be the best time.

                I’ve never realized how difficult it is for Kiseop to stand still. He can’t even stand in line without fidgeting every few seconds. I elbow him in the side playfully, attempting to get him to relax. He glances at me from the corner of his eye and smirks. I’m going to be alone with Kiseop for over a week. We can do whatever we want.

                “Oh! Look!” Kiseop points out the window excitedly. I loosen my seatbelt a bit and turn to look at him. His face is glued to the window. “Look at all the lights!” He turns to me and I urge him on with a smile. The plane enters a bit of turbulence and Kiseop’s happy attitude quickly vanishes and he turns to me looking terrified.

                “Everything’s fine,” I say, but I can tell he’s still uneasy. I decide to start playing with the little screen planted in front of me. There’s a variety of music and movies but I can’t seem to find any of them interesting.

                “I think I should learn English,” Kiseop says and I turn to him in confusion.

                “It might be a little late for that,”

                “But this app says it can teach you English,” Kiseop points to the screen.

                “I can teach you some words in English if you want,” I suggest but he seems more interested in the screen.

                “No, it’s ok. I got this,” He says in a rather cocky manner as he inserts his earphones. I roll my eyes and wait for him to say something.

                Twenty minutes pass and Kiseop doesn’t seem to have learned anything yet. The plane attendants have already gone up and down the aisles with drinks and all the passengers have been permitted to walk about the cabin. I suddenly remember how boring plane rides truly are.

                “Have you learned anything yet?” I whine out while poking his arm. He nods his head and I raise an eyebrow. I wonder how much he’s actually memorized. He pulls out an earphone and thinks for a moment.

                “Howa… are you?” Although his accent is extremely noticeable his deep voice is cute in any language.

                “Good. How are you?” It’s weird speaking in English again after all this time. Kiseop stares at me blankly for several seconds.

                “Good…” He says sounding unsure. I get the feeling he just said ‘good’ because I said ‘good’.

                “Well, what else did you learn to say?” I ask, curiously.

                “That’s it,”

                “That’s it?” I start to laugh.

                “Yeah,” Kiseop pouts, “English is hard. I think you’re just going to have to be my translator.

                “I think so,” I lean back in my chair and realize how tired I really am.

                “What are we going to do when we land?” Kiseop asks.

                “Well, we don’t have to go see my dad right away. We can just get to the hotel and walk around if you want,” Kiseop nods his head and suddenly stands up. “Where are you going?”

                “To the bathroom,” He stares at me for a moment before smiling mischiefely. “Want to join me? We can make out,” I can feel my cheeks warm up.

                “N-no. Just go to the bathroom,” I lean back but he purposely rubs up against me as he climbs over.

                “I love you,” He sings out playfully as he starts down the aisle.

                “I love you too,”

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A/N: OHMYGOD GUYS I FINALLY UPDATED. BUT IT'S SO SHORT AND UNINTERSTING... T_T I'M SO SORRY. I've been so busy with school and i'm supposed to be studying right now... I promise the next chapter will be a lot better and i'll try to update really soon. I want to thank everything who reads this. You all make me so happy. I love you guys. Don't forget to comment <3