My phone was staring back at me. For some reason, I found this day to be slow. Very slow. Supposedly, I should be enjoying, doing things I want today now that I’m finally free of work…but I don’t know. I just don’t feel like it.

I rolled to the other side of my bed. The little green button from my phone was flashing at me, as if tempting me to press it. I’ve been staring at your number for minutes now… It wasn’t healthy.

I sighed and turned the screen off. My mind was beginning to drift again to my world of ‘what ifs’. Everything… these alternate realities… I can’t seem to let any of it go.

I groaned. This isn’t good. I stood up from my bed, took my coat and went out of my apartment. It’s such a shame to waste a perfect autumn day locked up in my room anyway.

The park is always a good place to go in days like these. Many beautiful memories haunt me here, though. I usually avoid this place… Like I don’t want to have anything to do with it. But then again, today felt unusual.

I sat at the freshly trimmed grass and let the cool autumn wind blow my hair. I could still clearly remember the bright skies and warm sunny days we spent together here. I could vividly remember your unique laugh – childlike and carefree, your gazes – exquisite and deep, and of course, your sweet smile – warm and breathtaking…which was what made me fall for you in the first place. I still remember how my head would spin and how my heart would leap out of my chest whenever you are around…when you hold me, hug me, kiss me… or even in just the simple gestures like when you smile or when you tell me you love me.

I remember it all.

I look at my empty hand. I feel like there’s a knife that cuts my heart. I miss you so much… your voice, your eyes, your skin, your smile, your lips… I miss them all. Now, I feel empty. All of those…gone.

I don’t know where you are anymore. I don’t know how you’re doing… whether you’re happy or not. I haven’t heard any news from you for more than a year. Because I’m a coward. I couldn’t face you or bear to hear your voice. That’s why every time I’m missing you, I’d call at dawn…just to be sure you wouldn’t answer the phone and break me into a million pieces. I tried so hard to pull myself together. And I know, to hear just one ‘hello’ from you would tear me apart.

But today felt different. I miss you so much and that little green call button in my phone is tempting me. Maybe it was time… It’s time to face the reality I was running away from. Maybe…I can handle it now.

I sighed and stood up. I headed to the bridge over the river, where barely no one goes and it was quiet . My heart was pounding, as if beating like a drum roll to a big reveal.

And there it was. The reason why today was so different…

On the bridge was you… You and your long wavy brown hair, rosy cheeks, bright eyes and thin red lips. And those lips edges turned up into a big smile. I blinked my eyes, checking if I wasn’t just imagining things. Why were you here? Did you miss me as well that you thought of going here?

But in just a few seconds, I found the answer I was looking for.

He was tall, fair-skinned, and seemed to be a nice guy. I’d know. He won you over, didn’t he? He tucked a lock of hair behind your ear and whispered something. You nodded in reply with a giant smile that lit up your whole face. The smile you used to give me. The smile that takes my breath away. My favorite smile… Now belongs to someone else. He kissed your cheeks and jogged away.

I was a coward. I wanted to come over… say hi… see your beautiful face up close again… but I couldn’t. I couldn’t find my voice. I couldn’t find the right words to say. I hid behind a tree and watched you from afar. I took our my phone and pressed the little green button I was dreading to a while back. I took a deep breath.

“Kyuhyun?” I finally heard your voice again. My heart ached for this moment. I was slowly shattering to pieces. It was brutal.

“Hello, Kyesin,” I whispered.

“It’s been such a long time,” you said, a bittersweet smile ran across your face as I watched you from afar.

“It has.”

“I tried to call you back…”

“I know… I know…” I bit my lip. It hurts. My heart.

“How have you been?” you asked.

“Okay… I guess. You?”

“Good,” you smiled.

“I know it’s not my business but…You… Did you find someone?”

“Actually… yes,” you smiled wider. I felt my chest tighten. “He’s a nice guy. I’m pretty sure you’d like him.”

“Oh Yeah? That’s great. Well, uhm… I gotta go, Kyesin.” I couldn’t handle the pain anymore.

“Wait! Uhm… Kyuhyun? Would you like to go get coffee or dinner sometime?” You asked.

“I… uh… don’t know if—“

“Please?” you pleaded, a sweet smile was lingering on your face. Something I cannot say no to.

“Alright… I… uh… I’ll call you, okay?”

“Sure. It’s nice to hear from you again, Kyu.”

“You too. I’m sorry, Kye… for everything.”

I hang up the phone before you could even reply. You were staring at yours, confused and worried.

I didn’t realize how much tears have been falling not until I ended the call. My heart aches… There’s just a lot of feelings all mixed up in it – melancholy, jealousy… love… It was torture – watching you move on and be happy without me. I guess what happened between us doesn’t tear you apart anymore.

II thought time heals all wounds but it hasn’t healed me at all. I guess it’s true that first love never fades…for some people.

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thank you all for reading! As mentioned in the Foreword, this oneshot is based on Adele's Hello.

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