AN: Hey guys! Sorry for taking so long but I hope I made it before the New Year for most of you! There's a few warnings before I start the story! I hope that you guys will enjoy it! I'll add the rest of my notes at the bottom!

WARNINGS (highlight to read): Depression and scenes of self-loathing and the likes. There's also multiple changing of colors in the text (mainly greys and reds) so if you're uncomfortable with that, please do skip!

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Jongin groaned as he rolled off the bed, crushing a few sheets of his notes in the process. He cursed as he hit the ground, one of his notebooks following suit. The teen didn’t even bother to get up, continuing to lay on floor, staring at the ceiling. He could see Sehun sitting at his desk with one earbud in, his fingers tapping on the desk. The blind boy looked so focused on what he was listening to even though Jongin knows that Sehun was listening to their physics teacher’s lecture for the five thousandth time.

The two were at Sehun’s house cram studying for their upcoming finals. The actual exams won’t happen until another few weeks but Sehun insisted on them studying a head of time.

“You’ll thank me for this, I promise.” Sehun had assured him the day before. “It’ll help. I would know.”

However, it had already been a few hours and Jongin was sure his brain was more than fried. He couldn’t even focus on the pictures in his textbook anymore. That was more than enough to tell him that he couldn’t stuff anymore information into his brain.

“Hunnie…!” Jongin groaned. “Let’s take a break.”

The blind boy didn’t even budge, as if he was in his own little world. Jongin huffed and rolled himself over to the Sehun’s chair, latching himself onto the blind boy’s leg.

“Sehunnie!” He tried again.

This time, Sehun jolted with a small yelp before his face turned down to where Jongin was.

“Huh? What’s up, Nini?”

 “Let’s take a break.” Jongin repeated. “I don’t think my brain can handle anymore studying.”

Sehun hummed in response before he took off his earbuds and smiled. “That’s a good idea.” He said. “I think I’ve memorized this whole lecture by now.”

Jongin smiled. “Yeah, you need a break too!”

Jongin scrambled up as Sehun stood up from his seat, stretching a little before reaching out for Jongin’s arm, who offered it happily.

“What do you want to do?” Sehun asked.

The older thought for a moment, his eyes glancing to the half opened window.  He could see the slight fog of how chilly it was outside and smiled.

“Let’s go out to eat. I want to take you to one of my favorite places.”

Sehun raised a brow. “And that would be?”

“You’ll know when we get there!”

“Aish, Jongin! Why do you never tell me where you take me?”

“It’s more fun if it’s a surprise, right?”

Sehun pouted at that and Jongin couldn’t help but smile. The younger would always put a blank or serious face on but Jongin knew how adorable Sehun really is. He’s so glad that Sehun is opening up more to not just him, but their friends as well.

Over the past few months, Sehun slowly opened up his life to their small circle of friends. The beagles were very supportive, loudly promising to always try and be by Sehun’s side, Kyungsoo also promising in a quieter level. Sehun was very thankful during that time. That day was probably one of the few days that Baekhyun and Jongdae didn’t bicker (as much as they usually do, at least). That day was also one of the first days he had seen how motherly Kyungsoo could be. The older only showed some sort of motherly affection to Jongin when he was upset. Not to mention that that was one of the few times he had seen Sehun openly cry (but now that he thought about it, it was probably the first time everyone else had seen Sehun cry).

Jongin hurriedly cleaned his papers and textbooks off of Sehun’s bed while the younger shuffled over to his closet to pick an outfit. When Jongin successfully stuffed his backpack with his books, he looked up. His eyes widen slightly when he saw a shirtless Sehun, fumbling with a sweater. He could feel his cheeks heat up slightly at the sight of Sehun’s smooth, milky back. Even though it wasn’t his first time seeing Sehun shirtless, but he would feel slightly flustered every time he didn’t purposely mean to see Sehun in such a state. He would still slightly frown at the few light scars from back when Sehun purposely rammed himself into furniture but it was back in the past. He didn’t even see it happen but yet he was still a little upset.

Sehun turned his head slightly to Jongin, as if Sehun could feel the older’s eyes on him. Jongin could see Sehun’s cheeks pinked and his ears too before quickly trying to put his sweater on. Jongin smiled slightly, standing and making his way towards the blind boy. He wrapped his arms around Sehun’s waist when the younger finally got his sweater on him. Sehun squeaked at the sudden feeling of Jongin’s arms but quickly relaxed into the hold, leaning back against the older’s toner body.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Jongin whispered into Sehun’s ear, sending shivers down his body.

“And you’re so cheesy, you know that?” The younger countered with a small smile.

Jongin snickered at the come back and unwrapped his arms, taking ahold of Sehun’s hand instead, interlocking their fingers. He led Sehun out of the room and down the stairs to grab their coats.

“Where do you think you two are going?” They heard Luhan’s voice from the living room.

“We’re going to grab something to eat.” Jongin replied.

“Have fun, then.” Minseok said.

“No funny business!” Luhan yelled when they stepped out of the house.

“No promises!” Sehun called before they shut the door.

They could hear some sort of noise of protest inside the house and they laughed.

The air was chilly and Jongin could see their breaths when they let out an exhale. Sehun had a loose grip on his arm, shivering slightly because of the cold. Jongin chuckled before wrapped an arm around Sehun’s waist and pulled him closer. The younger jumped slightly and his cheeks became slightly pinker, which Jongin knew wasn’t because of the low temperature. This caused Jongin to chuckle against and pressed his lip against Sehun’s burning ear.

“You’re so cute.” He murmured.

Sehun blushed furiously at the comment. “S-Shut up you ball of cheese.”

It didn’t take long for Jongin to steer them to a small ramen shop on a lonely street in the middle of the town. As soon as they stepped inside, the warmth enveloped them into a cozy hug and the smell of the broth and fresh ingredients fluttered its way to their noses. Sehun took in a large inhale and smiled, recognizing the scent.

“We’re in a ramen shop.”

“That we are.” Jongin responded, helping Sehun sit on one side of the booth, the older taking the other side.

A waiter quickly came to their side with menus, taking their orders before heading off. The inside of the shop was small, like the exterior, but it was a warm and cozy shop so no one particularly minded the size. It wasn’t too busy that evening, with a few customers scattered around the restaurant. A low chatter filled the store with soft ballad music playing in the background.

Their food arrived shortly after they ordered and the two quickly dug in, Jongin helping Sehun with his utensils before he started his meal. The two ate silently for a moment before they struck up a conversation, talking about their studies and how they’re keeping up with the classes. However, their talk took a turn to the future.

“What do you want to be..?” Sehun asked, swirling his chopsticks in the broth, searching for more noodles to eat.

“Like, after college?”

“Yeah…”

Jongin stopped himself halfway through slurping up some noodles and thought a little. What did he want to be? He hadn’t really planned anything yet, even though he’s in his senior year. He was still taking life as it comes, even though he should start thinking about the future.

“I don’t know, really.” Jongin mumbled, feeling slightly guilty for giving a boring and disappointing answer. “I didn’t really put much thought into it, you know?”

Sehun laughed at that. “Yeah, I know. That’s okay. It’s okay to not know yet. You still have a long ways ahead of you, either way.”

“What about you?”

“I don’t know either.” Sehun admitted, making Jongin feel a little more relieved. “I kind of want to get into the arts and enroll into the art university, you know? But I also kind of want to get into business like Minseok and Luhan… It’ll be kind of hard with… Me being, you know… The whole ‘you kinda have to see for this work’ thing.”

Jongin nodded, even though he knew Sehun wouldn’t see it. “I think you can work something out. You’re a really talented person so I know you’ll figure it out.”

“Will you be there to help me?” Sehun asked.

“I will, as long as you’ll be there to help with mine.” Jongin responded.

“Of course!”

The older nodded. “Good.” He laughed and poked at his noodles. “Are you ready…?”

Jongin glanced up toward Sehun, who sat still, looking as if he was in deep thought. Even though Jongin’s question was vague, there was a mutual understanding. The younger let out a sigh and shrugged.

“I… I don’t know.” But Sehun quickly added, “But everything will be fine, right? As long as we have each other, right?”

Jongin smiled at how Sehun gave him a grin, giving him a confirmation. The two continued their meal for a little while longer before Sehun brought up another topic.

“Do you think… Do you think we’ll last?”

Jongin froze, swallowing his half chewed noodles. “What do you mean?” He asked, even though he knew exactly what Sehun meant. He needed a little more time to think about the answer.

“Do you think we’ll still be together in the future? I don’t know which colleges we’ll go to and since we’re still unsure with our career choice, who knows if we’ll be able to meet each other during those times… And…” Sehun’s voice got quieter as he kept talking, resulting in him trailing off.

The older smiled fondly at the younger, reaching over to take a hold of one of Sehun’s hands, the blind boy allowing him to do so. Their fingers interlocked and Jongin started rubbing his thumb in small circles on Sehun’s hand, causing the younger to smile softly.

“I don’t know.” Was what Jongin responded with. “I really don’t know what will happen but I hope, I really do hope, that we’ll be together for as long as we can. The memories I made with you are one of the happiest memories I have and I really don’t want them to end. Whatever happens, it’ll happen. I can’t read the future, but I want us to keep going and make things work.”

Sehun stayed silent for a moment before he nodded with a smile. “Thank you.”

Jongin didn’t know what Sehun was thanking him for but the younger would always tell him that when they had a heart-to-heart moment. Jongin just smiled and gave Sehun’s hand a little squeeze.

The two finished their meal and paid (more like Jongin paid because Sehun didn’t bring his wallet… Like usual). Not wanting to go home so soon, the young couple decided to roam around the town for a little while. The streets were only slightly bare, a few stragglers wandering about in a few places. Jongin had interlocked his and Sehun’s fingers again, slightly swinging their arms, making Sehun giggle at the action.

It seemed to be a long winter because snow had fallen earlier that day, creating a small blanket of white to cover the town. Jongin explained the scene in as much detail he could possibly muster so Sehun wouldn’t feel left out from the beautiful view. The two walked around, doing nothing but listening and responding to each other’s voices.

The sky had darkened and the stars had appeared, creating shining speckles splattered across the deep, dark blue canvas. Jongin whispered descriptions of everything and he knew that Sehun felt like he could see. Maybe one day Sehun would paint a picture of a snow covered town or the calm, starry night sky because of his descriptions.

“Thank you for doing so much for me, Jongin.” Sehun whispered.

“I will do anything for you, Sehun.” Jongin responded.

The younger smiled, turning his head to face the older. It didn’t take long for the two to share a kiss. It was a sweet and light kiss. They parted quickly but leaned in once more, this one deeper than before. When Sehun leaned back, Jongin could see the blush on the younger’s cheek and he grinned, knowing he’s the cause for it.

“You do so much for me… I don’t know how to thank you enough.” Sehun murmured.

“You don’t have to do anything but continue to let me be you.” Jongin whispered back. “As long as you’re by my side, that’s more than I could ever ask for.”

Sehun smiled shyly at the words and leaned in and pressed his lips on Jongin’s, slightly off center.

“I love you, Jongin…” Sehun mumbled into the kiss.

“I love you too, Sehun.” Jongin

~*~

The mall was crowded and the couple was struggling to find a store where they could find what they wanted. They ended up in a smaller, less crowded tailor shop.

Jongin and Sehun were shopping for clothes for the post-graduation party. It was preferred to be more formally casual (or was it casually formal? Jongin thought they were basically the same thing so he didn’t bother too much with it). They didn’t want to go to the event but since nearly everyone would be there, and with Jongin’s and Sehun’s (unwanted) popularity, it would leave a bad image if they didn’t attend, not like they were going to see their classmates again. The two wanted to leave with a good impression, at least, for a short while. They were planning to ditch (like any other graduate) and attend a party of their own, which they had planned weeks prior to be at Baekhyun’s house (because he was the party master).

The shop they entered was fairly small but it gets the job done. Jongin lead Sehun around, looking at designs that he described to Sehun. Jongin was the type who preferred comfort over looks so he didn’t know if he could trust his (nonexistent) fashion instincts. Sehun, on the other hand, is an artist. The blind boy would know what matched what, even if he can’t see any of it.

“I think I’m leaning more towards the blue, you know? I think it would fit better since it is still pretty chilly out for the graduation.”

“You think so? You’re better at this than me so…”

“How may I help you guys?”

Jongin turned towards a tall man with an intimidating look. He was practically towering over them. Considering that Jongin and Sehun were quite tall, this man looked like a giant. The older teen was left speechless because he felt slightly intimidated. Sehun, however, couldn’t see the stare and turned towards the man, adjusting his opaque glasses as he did.

“We’re looking for a casually formal outfit for a post-graduation party.” Sehun said politely. “Well… He’s looking. I can’t. We prefer something blue in any shade, by the way.”

The man nodded, not showing any signs of an off reaction to what Sehun had commented on. “I would recommend some of our vests over here. Let me show you. My name is Yifan, by the way. Call me Kris, though.”

Jongin raised a brow but he shrugged it off. His nickname was Kai, after all. There really wasn’t any story behind it, at least, one that he knew about. He didn’t bother to find out.

The two followed the taller man to the other end of the store. He picked out a few outfits, Jongin described them to Sehun in detail, the younger thinking hard about which designs he think is best. It took a while because Sehun had to keep asking to re-describe a few outfits, not that Jongin minded. Kris was actually very helpful and helped Jongin with explaining, not even questioning why the only one of the two that could see had to leave the clothes planning to the one who can’t see at all.

After a few more adjusting of certain outfits and switching between a few clothes, Sehun finally reached a decision. Funny thing was that Jongin had a feeling that Sehun would pick the one that he did. He wouldn’t admit it but that boosted his confidence in fashion just a tad.

“Alright. You guys like this design, right?”

Jongin nodded and Sehun smiled.

“Very nice choice. If you would follow me, I’ll let my assistant get your measurements and we’ll be done for the day.” Kris explained, leading them to the back of the store to get measured.

Kris told them to sit in the small waiting area as he left to get his assistant. Jongin reached over and interlocked his fingers with Sehun, which brought a smile to the younger’s face.

“We’re so close.” Sehun murmured.

Jongin tilted his head. “To?”

“We’re so close to graduating. We’re… Almost done with one the most important chapters of our lives…” Sehun started shaking in excitement. “Jongin… I can’t believe it. We’ve made it so far already…!”

You made it very far. Jongin thought, smiling at how Sehun thrilled looked.

“Hello!”

Jongin turned his head toward a young looking man with dark circles around his eyes. Jongin thought it must have been from the lack of sleep but the other looked quite energized. He’s not one to judge though.

“My name is Zitao but you can call me Tao. I’ll be taking your measurements!”

Jongin noticed how Sehun tensed and how the younger’s head jerked up at the name.

“Zi… Zitao…?” The younger murmured.

Tao tilted his head, shifting his eyes to the blind boy. “That would be me…?”

Sehun stayed silent for another moment. “Ah… It must be a mistake. I thought you were someone that I knew…”

Jongin glanced at Sehun, giving his hand a little squeeze. Sehun squeezed back slightly to reassure Jongin that he was okay. Tao, on the other hand, stood there for a moment, staring at Sehun with an unreadable look. Sehun started to become uncomfortable, adjusting his glasses slightly and fidgeting in his seat. Jongin noticed and decided to take action.

“So… Uh, Tao.” Jongin said, watching as Tao snapped out of whatever thought he was having. “You’re here to get our measurements, right?”

“Oh! Right… Sorry about that.”

Despite the slightly awkward atmosphere, everything went by smoothly. Tao’s measuring skills were quite professional, moving around with ease between the couple with measuring strips tangled around his limbs and a clipboard hanging around his belt. It didn’t take long for Tao to finish up, scribbling down the last few numbers before sending them off. Jongin saw how Tao looked like he wanted to say something but there was a shake of the head and Tao leading them back to the front where Kris was idling around.

“You’re done.” Kris stated with a small smile, waving to Tao who disappeared into the back again. “I hope everything was fine.”

“It was.” Jongin replied, Sehun nodding after.

“That’s good.” Kris walked behind a counter. “Your outfits should be done in a week’s time. If you may, please enter your phone number on right here.” The taller twisted the monitor around to allow Jongin to enter his number. After he punched it in, Kris turned the screen back to him and typed a few phrases. “Alright, that’ll be all for today. We’ll give you a call when your outfit is ready.”

“Thank you.” Jongin said, both him and Sehun giving a polite, short bow right after.

The two exited the store and decided to roam around, buying plenty of snacks to munch on as they strolled. Jongin knew something was on Sehun’s mind but he didn’t want to pry. Sehun would tell him when he wants and Jongin would make sure that Sehun knows that he’ll be there whenever Sehun needs him. Jongin wrapped an arm around Sehun’s waist, the younger unconsciously smiling when it happened.

~*~

“I had a friend once.” Sehun said one day when they were eating Chinese takeout at Jongin’s house.

Jongin jerked his head up at the sudden confession, stopping half way of slurping up some Chinese fried noodles. Jjangah was staring at Sehun’s plate longingly; the young dog was sitting next to Sehun on the floor. Jongin would have laughed if it weren’t for his curiosity at Sehun’s words.

“It was back when I could see. I was young and I’m actually surprised that I still remember him. He was my first friend. His name was Zitao and he was a Chinese student, coming to Korea for a short time in his elementary school years because of his father’s job.”

Ah, so that’s why Sehun was acting strangely back then. Jongin thought, finishing his mouth full of noodles.

“He didn’t speak a lot of Korean. Hell, he barely even knew the language. He only knew Chinese. Luckily for him, my mother wanted me to know Chinese so I knew some basic words and phrases. We somehow got to know each other and we became good friends. It was two years before the accident. We were the best of friends. After I moved, I lost touch with him and we never seen each other again, quite literally for me.” Sehun sighed, his own joke not actually bringing a smile to his face. “I’m sure he doesn’t know what happened to me, and I’m sure he doesn’t remember me, but after we met that Zitao person a while back… I can’t help but feel like it’s him.”

“How did he look like?” Jongin asked.

“Like a panda.” Sehun stated. When Jongin gave no response, he continued. “I’m not too sure. I remember calling him xiong mao a few times… Dark circles around his eyes? And he had black hair but who knows what color it is now. I’m pretty sure he’s a year older than us but he was in our year because of him coming from China or something…” Sehun shrugged and started to shovel food back into his mouth.

Jongin stopped listening after the dark circles around the eyes part. The Zitao back at the shop had dark circles too. It could be a coincidence but when he thought about it, Tao had a slight accent to when he spoke. Zitao is a Chinese name and it could be that both of these traits are huge coincidences but Jongin wouldn’t know for sure.

“Hey, Sehun?”

“Hm…?”

“Tao had dark circles around his eyes too.”

There was a brief moment of silence because Sehun spoke.

“… Is that so?”

“Yeah.”

“Hm…”

The subject was dropped after that and the two started talking about other means. Jjangah was still sitting on the floor, waiting for one of the two to feed them something.

~*~

Jongin got a call from Kris one afternoon after class had ended, telling Jongin that the clothes were ready and that they could stop by and try it on so he and Tao could make some final adjustments. That weekend, Jongin and Sehun decided to stop by. However, Jongin felt like Sehun was slightly nervous to go back. Probably with the whole Zitao-Tao thing.

“You can ask him a few questions.” Jongin suggested. “To make sure it’s really him.”

“Yeah…” Sehun mumbled. “Yeah… I could do that…”

The two entered the shop. Kris was immediately by their side with a gentle smile.

“Welcome back. Follow me.” He said and led them to the back.

Tao was already adjusting a few things on their outfits but the way Jongin saw it, it looked perfect already. Jongin took a moment to describe how the outfit looked like because some of the designs were slightly different from what he remembered and Sehun seemed to notice that too from the explanations. Not that he minded. Sehun actually thought that the new descriptions sounded better than what the original outfit was supposed to look like.

“Do you like it?” Tao asked, smiling at the two. “I made a few adjustments to what I think would look better on the two of you. Try it on! Here, the dressing rooms are over here!”

Tao ushered the two into one of the larger fitting rooms because he figured that Sehun needed help with the outfit. Jongin quickly helped Sehun into the clothes before turning over to his. After he put it on, he turned to face the blind boy and froze.

Sehun was standing patiently, fiddling with the buttons on his deep grey vest that covered the cool, navy blue dress shirt that fit him snuggly, tucked into the dress pants that were the same color as the vest. The cuffs of Sehun’s shirt was slightly twisted and Jongin quickly reached over to fix it. Sehun let Jongin do whatever, smiling warmly at the gentle fingers adjusting his sleeves. Jongin took a step back to admire how Sehun looked, the whole outfit not only complementing how Sehun looked but Sehun’s outfit complementing his attire.

Jongin was wearing a matching vest and dress pants. However his dress shirt was on the lighter shade of blue, almost white to the eye. Their ties were opposite colors, Sehun’s being the lighter blue and Jongin’s the darker, navy blue. Jongin couldn’t stop looking at Sehun and then looking at them together in the mirror. If he didn’t think so before, he thought so now. Sehun was very handsome. No, more than that. Sehun looked ethereal. Jongin smiled warmly before pulling Sehun in by the waist, the younger letting out a light squeak. Jongin pressed his lips against Sehun’s, the two sharing a light and loving kiss.

“You’re so beautiful.” Jongin murmured against Sehun’s lips.

“I bet you are too.” Sehun mumbled right back.

They parted before they got too far and heading back out to where Tao was waiting. There was a look of pure delight in the other’s eyes, clasping his hands together.

“You two look stunning!” He complimented.

Jongin smiled sheepishly while Sehun flushed a light shade of pink at the words.

“Come over here and stand on this platform. I need to take a closer look and make a few final adjustments. And then you two will be owners of a brand new, absolutely stunning, custom made outfit.”

If Jongin didn’t know better, he would have thought there was some girl in the room letting out a squeal. But he knew better and he chuckled at how excited Tao was on creating a wonderful outfit. He helped Sehun onto one wooden platform before he stood on the other. Tao quickly hurried to Sehun and started to inspect the clothes on the blind boy’s body. Sehun looked deep in thought while Tao was walking around him but he finally opened his mouth.

“Tao…?”

“Yes? Is something wrong with the outfit?”

“No, the outfit is fine. I feel very comfortable.” Sehun quickly replied.

Tao let out a sigh of relief. “That’s good. What is it then?”

Sehun shifted slightly, looking a little nervous. There was a brief moment of silence before he found the courage to speak again. “I was wondering… Where are you from?”

“Where I’m from?”

“Yeah…”

Jongin saw a little bit of confusion on Tao’s eyes and a hint of something else, but he couldn’t tell. Tao didn’t say anything. After a minute, he finally responded.

“I was born in China but I moved to Korea when I was really young because my father switched companies.”

There was a heavy silence. Jongin heard Sehun’s sharp intake of breath. Tao was staring at Sehun’s still frame, the younger looking like a statue. Jongin didn’t dare to move either, afraid that he might disturb tense atmosphere.

“… Taozi.” Sehun whispered, breaking the silence.

Sehun’s voice was so soft that the other two barely heard it.

Tao tensed at the name and furrowed his eyebrows. “T-Taozi…? The only one who called me that was…” His eyes widened and he took a step back. “S-Shixun?”

Jongin was confused. The name sounded like Sehun’s name but it wasn’t. At least, he didn’t think so. However, Sehun gave Tao a smile and then mumbled something in a foreign language, to which Jongin assumed was Chinese. Tao gasped and covered his mouth in shock, recovering and quickly responding in the same language. Sehun nodded at the words and the tailor leaped onto the platform and hugged the younger tight. Jongin felt slightly out of place but he also felt happy that the two lost friends were united under an unexpected occasion.

Tao excitedly started talking in Chinese, sounding as if he was shooting out question after question. Sehun smiled slightly, switching back to Korean because he could feel Jongin’s awkwardness.

“I left Korea because I got into an accident that caused… This.” Sehun gestured to his eyes.

Tao let out another gasp. “I’m so sorry…! It must have been so… terrible…”

“It was but I’m fine now. We should catch up sometime though.” Sehun hastily changed the subject. “It’s been so long.”

“It has.” Tao agreed, finally going back to tailor mode and making a few small adjustments on Sehun’s outfit. “I would love to spend some time talking again. I really did miss you, Shixun.”

Sehun smiled. “I’m glad to find you again, Taozi.”

The two shared a short laugh before Tao moved on to check on Jongin’s outfit. Tao made small talk with Jongin too, somehow getting Jongin to spill how long he and Sehun were dating and a little bit about his personal life. Tao also told Jongin a few things about himself, saying that he graduated last year by taking a few Chinese courses and exceling in his studies. He’s actually a college student, majoring in fashion and design but working in a shop that’s owned by his boyfriend’s family.

“Yeah. Yifan and I are dating.” Tao said.

Sehun smiled but Jongin’s eyes widened.

“Glad you found someone.” Sehun said.

Tao smiled and reached for Sehun’s hands one more time. “Shixun, really. We should definitely meet up again and catch up.”

Sehun smiled brightly. “I… I would really like that.”

The Chinese man started leading them towards the front, right up to Kris who was fiddling with several pens and paper. (“He says he’s an artist.” Tao whispered to them. “I really don’t want to hurt his feelings but… He’s not. It’s mainly why he runs the front desk and owns the shop and not working in the back with me.”) The two talked a bit in what seems like Chinese to Jongin before Kris and smiled and turned to the other couple. Kris talked with Jongin about the prices and Jongin handed him (Luhan’s) card. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Tao demanding to put his number into Sehun’s phone, the younger happily allowing the other to do so.

“So, I guess your boyfriend knows my boyfriend.”

Jongin was slightly startled when Kris started talking to him. It took a moment for him to progress it but he nodded in response. “I suppose so… They’ve known each other since they were young or something.”

Kris smiled. “Zitao wouldn’t stop telling me all week about how ‘that person looks so familiar!’ He really did suspect it was someone he knew and was going to confront Sehun about it last time but he was having second thoughts.” The tall man sighed. “I guess he’s right though since they’re trading phone numbers.”

Jongin was surprised that Kris noticed since he saw that the older man was staring at the computer and punching in numbers the whole time. The younger didn’t know what to say so he nodded. The taller man laughed and handed Jongin back the card, which he nearly forgot he had given to Kris.

“I guess we’ll be seeing each other more often now.” Kris said.

“I suppose so.”

“You guys use ‘I guess’ and ‘I suppose’ a lot.” Sehun butted into their conversation.

“Our boyfriends are so plain.” Tao drawled.

Jongin snickered while Kris huffed. Jongin grinned at how Sehun was smiling happily, filling the older with fuzzy warmth.

Jongin nearly forgot that he and Sehun only stopped by the tailor to get a post-graduation outfit. As the two waved goodbye and left the shop, Jongin realized they got more than what they had originally wanted and this time, he didn’t mind. He didn’t mind at all.

“Let’s get something to eat.”

“Where to?”

“Anywhere. As long as you pay!”

Yeah. Jongin didn’t mind at all.

~*~

Jongin sat nervously. He felt the adrenaline rushing through his veins as he watched their principal calling the names of each student to go up to receive their diploma. The clock was ticking down to when his name would be called. His pounding heart was ramming against his ribcage and he felt like he was suffocating. Jongin felt a pat on his thigh and he looked to the side to see Jongdae grinning at him, which calmed him slightly.

He was glad that Jongdae shared a last name with him and that their first names are so similar. He was sitting next to a friend and, knowing that, gave him some sort of relief that he wouldn’t be up there alone.

“We’re almost there, Kai!” Jongdae grinned. “I can taste the freedom when I get my hands on that diploma.”

Jongin couldn’t help but laugh. “You know, college isn’t that better.”

“At least I can sleep in, man. It’s like we’re just transferring to a different prison but this one is bigger and have better food in the mess hall!”

Jongin had to cover his mouth to stifle his laugh. He can always count on Jongdae to make him feel better.

The names were called in alphabetical order by last name. The two cheered when Baekhyun got on the stage to receive their diploma, laughing at the little dance he did as he got off. They also cheered when Kyungsoo was called, not at all surprised that the shorter boy gave just a tiny smile (that seemed more forced than anything) to their principal then hurried off the stage. A large number of students were called next and before he knew it, the “Kim”s were being called up. Jongin was a nervous mess again when his row has to stand. Jongdae gave him another smile and whispered “we’re almost there!” before gesturing Jongin to follow him.

A line was formed, continuing off from the previous row, to get on stage. Jongin was sweating profusely, his mind was blank. He didn’t know what was happening. Time was ticking way too slow yet way too fast for him. Before he knew it, Jongdae disappeared from in front of him to retrieve his diploma. Jongin could see the other’s smile and raised the diploma in the air as if to state that “I did it!” to everyone in the crowd.

“Kim Jongin.”

There it was, his name. His body went to autopilot, walking like the way he had rehearsed, and reached out to retrieve his diploma. His principal gave a “congratulations” before glancing back at the sheet to call the next name. Jongin quickly turned to the crowd, smiling at the blinding light. He could see his family cheering for him in little ways away, his sisters jumping out of their seat to cheer for him. He could barely make out Luhan’s and Minseok’s faces next to his family, looking so proud with their large grins and audible screaming. His friends families were scattered around his, all in a clump of one section of the seats. Before he made it off the stage, he could see Sehun in his seat, a large grin on his face.

Jongin didn’t register anything else until he was seated next to Jongdae again. His mind was spinning and he barely remembered what happened. Jongdae was excitedly whispering to him about the diploma and how he was still disappointed with the design, something about including more ivory or patterns around the border. Jongin just stared at the cardstock in its own casing, his name printed neatly in the middle of the paper.

The list of names continued and Jongin dozed off for a bit. However, when the names reached the “O”s, he shook himself awake.

“Oh Sehun.”

Jongin quickly turned his head to the side of the stage and saw a white stick swinging followed by the boy himself. The scene looked very much like the first day Sehun transferred to his school, though he can’t hear the clicking and clanking because of the low rumble of noise. There was a person right behind Sehun. That person looked as if he was there to help but Sehun didn’t need any assistance. After all, they had practiced many, many times.

The blind boy stopped at just the right moment and reached out to find the diploma that the principal was handing out. When he took a hold of it, he bowed to the principal and then turned to face the audience and bowed to them too. When he stood up, he gave everyone a large, warm smile before heading off the stage. Jongin could hear loud cheers from the crowd, from people that he knew and people that he didn’t, and he, too, joined in, yelling as loud as he can. Jongin could hear Luhan screeching at the top of his lungs from behind him and couldn’t help but laugh.

After Chanyeol’s name was called (the taller boy waved his diploma around, looking as if he was trying to express “I actually did it! If I, Park Chanyeol, can, then you can too!”), Jongin finally let the realization sink in.

He officially graduated from high school. It was done. It was over. He suddenly got hit with mixed emotions. His heart started thumping against his chest, feeling extremely nervous but also excited. The future was unpredictable. He still didn’t know what he wanted to be, what he wanted to do, where he wanted to go, but he wanted to do his best to get the best, whatever he’s aiming for. He smiled at the thought of Sehun lecturing him on what to do and what not to do and helping him decide. Jongin could see himself living with Sehun, them taking care of each other. However, his smile faltered slightly at the thought of “what if he and Sehun wouldn’t be together anymore?” He sighed but quickly pushed it away when he recognizes the few last names that the principal had to call.

It wasn’t long until he heard the booming voice of his principal, counting down before all the students threw their hats into the air. There were graduation hats flying in every direction, signaling the end of the ceremony. Jongin grinned, somehow catching his own hat again (and getting hit with a few others) before being pulled off by Jongdae to battle their way out of the crowd and towards their families. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo found them rather quickly, Chanyeol (while pulling Sehun along) followed soon after. Jongin smiled widely, seeing their whole group together.

It was also unsurprising that all their families were together. Jongin’s group of friends known each other since they were young, and that included their parents. Jongin figured that Luhan and Minseok predicted that Sehun would be with him. They are together after all.

“I’m so proud of you all!” He heard Baekhyun’s mother cried.

“Congratulations to all of you.” Chanyeol’s father said.

Jongin smiled widely as his mother pulled him into a tight hug. He could hear her crying but she had a smile on her face. Jongin couldn’t help but laugh and hug her back. He could see the proud look on his father’s face, giving Jongin a warm feeling in his stomach. It was practically every child’s hopes and dreams that they make their parents proud. Jongin could finally feel it right then.

He turned his head to take in his surroundings. There were still students searching everywhere for their families, others having already reunited with them, while more were clinging to their final conversations with friends and quickly exchanging contact information to keep in touch.

Out of one corner of his eye, he could see Jongdae hugging Junmyeon tightly, the older male being there nearly the whole time, sitting a little off from the rest of their families in the crowd. Jongdae had on his signature cat-like grin when Junmyeon shyly gave him a peck on the cheek, Jongdae’s mother squealed in delight of how cute her “boys” were being. Chanyeol and Baekhyun were taking thousands and thousands of pictures with each other and their family and friends, trying to make the last final moments last forever within their phones. Sehun was engulfed in a hug by Luhan and Minseok, the youngest laughing when Luhan refused to let go. Jongin knew Luhan was trying to hide his tear stained face, making himself laugh.

It wasn’t until he turned his head back towards his family when he noticed Kyungsoo. The older boy was smiling with his family but was standing hand in hand with another person. Kyungsoo’s mother was taking a photo of them together before Jongin got a bit suspicious. He side stepped to the side slightly and let out a gasp. The person standing next to Kyungsoo was the foreign exchange student from a few years back. Unconsciously, Jongin started to make his way towards childhood friend.

Kyungsoo turned his head towards Jongin’s direction and raised his free hand up in greeting, to which Jongin pouted at. Jongin shifted his gaze between the two, giving Kyungsoo a questioning stare. The older sighed and took a step back so the other male was standing next to him.

“Jongin, this is Yixing. Remember back in freshman year when there was a foreign exchange program between our school and the one in China? Well, this is the student. He’s also my boyfriend.” He then turned to Yixing. “Yixing, this is Jongin. That one guy who made a fool of himself every time you saw him and my so called best friend.”

“Hey!” Jongin huffed.

Yixing bowed deeply and smiled a dimpled smile. “It is nice to meet you again, Jongin.”

Jongin didn’t know what to do so he bowed his head slightly back. “Right back at you…” He then pointed an accusing finger at Kyungsoo. “Why didn’t you tell me that he is your boyfriend? I didn’t even know you guys were dating! As your best friend, I should have known but I didn’t!”

“Yeah because you didn’t notice. “ Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. “If you paid a little more attention, you probably would have known.”

“But you still could have told me…!” Jongin whined, making Kyungsoo sigh. Yixing chuckled slightly in the back.

“Ah, that’s right.” Kyungsoo turned to his boyfriend. “I want to introduce you to someone. He’s this idiot’s boyfriend and I swear, I don’t know how a sweet and intelligent young man started dating this guy.”

“Excuse me?!” Jongin pouted at Kyungsoo’s words, making the shorter laugh.

“I’m kidding, Jongin. Though, I guess I’m not too far off.”

“Soo…!”

The couple laughed at Jongin’s whiny voice but it was all in good terms. Kyungsoo finally introduced Yixing to the youngest. Yixing was slightly surprised to meet a blind boy but was polite and treated Sehun normally, to which the younger was glad for. The two hit off right away, being both Chinese speakers and started having a conversation in Yixing’s native language because Korean was still a struggle for him.

Everyone was chatting comfortably and Jongin felt very happy yet empty. He was going to miss all of this, knowing that his friends and he were going to be too busy in college to hang out as often as they did in high school. He wanted to treasure this moment for as long as he can.

“We have to take a picture of everyone!” Jongdae’s mother insisted.

“How are we going to get all of us in the picture?” Jongin’s mother asked.

“We’ll just ask someone to take the photo for us! Excuse me! Can you take a picture for us?” Mrs. Byun hurriedly pulled on a young man’s sleeve.

There was plenty of shifting and awkward movements but somehow he found himself next to Sehun, the blind boy smiling when he felt the familiar hand interlaced with his. Jongin swelled with warmth, despite the chilly air, and he faced the camera with the biggest, brightest smile he could muster. They were all a mess but Jongin wouldn’t trade it for anything.

When the flash went off of the camera, Jongin knew that this is where one chapter ends and the next one will start.

“It’s over.” Sehun murmured as the group started heading towards the post-graduation party, their parents hollering farewells and that they’ll see them later (probably at Baekhyun’s house since they plan on ditching anyway). Yixing excused himself, saying that he had to meet with his family that evening but promised to meet with everyone again sometime soon. Kyungsoo gave a small smile and a wave goodbye to the Chinese male. A very quick peck on the cheeks was exchanged before Yixing departed. Jongin never knew Kyungsoo could be a sweet, caring person. Well, he could since Kyungsoo’s motherly side showed more often than he thought throughout high school, even more so when Sehun joined their group. But he never knew that Kyungsoo could be… Romantically sweet. Junmyeon said that he would go with their families, explaining that he wasn’t very good with social groups.

“It’s hard to believe isn’t it…” Jongin mumbled, helping Sehun into the backseat of Kyungsoo’s car.

Kyungsoo sat in the driver’s seat, Jongdae calling shotgun, even though he was going to get it anyway. The seatbelts were buckled and Kyungsoo started driving to the rendezvous for their party. Jongdae started blabbering nonstop and Kyungsoo just tuned him out as he drove. Chanyeol was driving behind them with Baekhyun.

Jongin felt the hand around his tightened and he turned his head towards Sehun.

The blind boy didn’t say anything for a short moment before he breathed out another “it’s over.”

Jongin squeezed Sehun’s hand back and smiled. “You made it so far, Sehun.” He whispered. “Let’s continue together…”

Sehun turned his head towards Jongin and smiled shyly, giving a nod. Jongin grinned and leaned in, giving Sehun a kiss, the younger happily returning it.

~*~

The group ended up at Baekhyun’s house sooner than they had expected. The party didn’t interest the young graduates, having too many people in one place and the food being mediocre at best. The music wasn’t even that good either but the other graduates somehow found ways to dance ridiculously with each other. It was merely half an hour of idling around before they decided it was best to leave.

“I can’t believe I spent so much on this outfit for just a thirty minute party.” Baekhyun dramatically sighed; flopping onto his bed after the group greeted their family.

Their parents were surprised they were home so soon but could understand why. They had always complained about modern day children, after all.

“Me neither…” Jongdae huffed as he sat down next to Baekhyun.

Chanyeol waddled over to one of Baekhyun’s spinning chairs and collapsed into it with a grin. “At least we can have more fun on our own, right?”

“Definitely!” Baekhyun exclaimed, rolling to a sitting position from where he was.

Kyungsoo had taken a spot on the floor near the dresser, scrolling through his phone. Jongin figured that the older was texting Yixing. There was a knock on the door and Junmyeon appeared behind it. He smiled and greeted the group before shuffling over to Jongdae, who had his hands stretched out and making grabby gestures. Baekhyun faked gagged and pushed himself away slightly to make room for the couple on his bed.

The group chatted for a bit, Chanyeol picking up the guitar off to the side while Baekhyun waddled over to his keyboard when the conversation started to die down. They sang songs to bring back memories before they moved on to amuse themselves with silly tunes. Music distracted the group for good few hours before they all decided to just relax.

“So, has everyone finally decided on what they wanted to do?” Jongdae asked, sitting comfortably in Junmyeon’s lap.

“Nah.” Baekhyun immediately replied from where he was lying on the floor. “I think I’m gonna take a gap year, you know? My parents are telling me that I should hit up the local colleges since it’s better to start somewhere than to take time off. I might do that but I think I just need a break from all this mess. High school was draining.”

“Maybe you can get into a musical career.” Junmyeon suggested. “You seem very into it.”

“Hm, maybe!” Baekhyun grinned. “I was thinking about that too.”

“What about you, Chanyeol? Are you going to follow Baekhyun?” Jongin asked.

The taller snorted. “No way. I’m planning on going to a college in or around the district. I don’t want to go far.” He smiled. “I also want to major in economics because I’m pretty good at that. I might even get another side major or something for performing arts since I think I’m decent at the guitar.”

“You guys can be musicians!” Junmyeon said.

“Yeah, we could!” Baekhyun snickered. “We’re the musical couple, I guess.”

“Maybe because every time I hear your voice, it’s music to my ears.” Chanyeol sung, making everyone groan and cringe.

“Are you planning on becoming a music major too, Kyungsoo?” Junmyeon asked.

The younger shook his head. “I want to study law and physics. I heard that majoring in physics really helps because it’s less about the ability to do something and more about the ability to understand and solve. I think I want to go somewhere pretty far to get some experience outside of the region.”

“Or to get away from the beagles.” Sehun added.

“That too.” Kyungsoo didn’t even bother to deny, making the three whine. “What about you, Jongdae? You’re not majoring in music either, are you?”

Jongdae shook his head. “Though I could, I think I’m more of a science-y guy. It was pretty hard to believe that I was into that but I really am! I want to go to a far school too and maybe major in biochemistry or biotechnology or maybe even both. I applied for a few already and I have yet to hear back from some though I have the confirmation from a couple.”

“Maybe they’re reconsidering.” Baekhyun snickered.

“Yeah, maybe no colleges want you and that’s why you’re not going to any.” Jongdae sneered.

“Ouch, that actually hurts.” Baekhyun faked a hurt expression.

“You didn’t tell us where you’re going, Jongin.” Kyungsoo pointed out. “As your best friend, I deserve to know.”

Jongin pouted at Kyungsoo’s mocking voice but he actually started to think. He really didn’t decide on anything yet but he did already apply to local colleges. “I don’t know.” He mumbled, twiddling his fingers. “I haven’t put much thought into it but I applied to a few local ones. I’ll just go with whatever happens and find out what I’m good at.”

“That’s alright.” Junmyeon said. “It’s okay to not know. There really is no deadline to decide what you want to do and what you’ll be.”

“Thank, Junmyeon.” Jongin smiled. “Sometimes it’s hard to believe that you’re not much older than us when you say things like that.”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun agreed. “You sound pretty old when you’re being wise and stuff.”

Junmyeon pulled a face, as if to say “I don’t know how to respond to that” which made everyone laugh.

“You’re the last one, Sehun.” Jongdae grinned. “You might as well tell us since we’re basically going around the room.”

Sehun smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “I applied to a few places, mainly the art university not too far from here and several art academies. Though… I kinda want to pick up a business major too since Minseok is pretty much holding a position for me under Kim Corps so I could get some sort of work experience. Art is my main major though.”

“That’s understandable.” Kyungsoo said. “I think that’s a smart choice.”

“Thanks mom.” Sehun joked, causing another round of laughter in the group.

“But we have to promise each other that we’re going to meet up at least once a year and to have a bunch of group chats throughout!” Baekhyun declared. “You guys are my friends and there’s no backing out! You all have to agree to this!”

Kyungsoo sighed and Jongdae complained, causing Baekhyun to chuck a pillow and a sock at both of them respectively. In the end, the group had finally agreed and promised to keep in touch when they depart.

As the conversation steered into a different direction, Jongin sat in deep thought. He still couldn’t believe that they graduated high school but the mere thought of not being able to see his friends as often as they wanted is slowly sinking in. He really didn’t want to let go of his friends just yet. Jongin didn’t realize he was letting out another sigh until he felt something on his hand. He glanced down and noticed Sehun’s hand slowly finding his. The blind boy was smiling slightly in the direction of their friends but Jongin knew Sehun was paying the most attention to him.

“What’s bothering you? I can practically feel your distress.” When Jongin sighed again, Sehun pouted. “And stop sighing. You haven’t had a midlife crisis yet.”

That brought a smile to Jongin’s face. Before he could say anything, Sehun grinned. “I made you smile, didn’t I? Don’t ask me how I know. I just do.”

Jongin laughed and pulled Sehun closer to him, making the younger rest his head against Jongin’s chest while the older rests his chin atop Sehun’s head. The younger whined at being manhandled but Jongin knew how much the blind boy liked to snuggle closely like how they were.

“I guess it’s finally sinking in that we’re all leaving soon.” Jongin murmured into Sehun’s hair. “We still have a few months but I know those months are going to fly by so quickly and we’ll have to say good bye to each other really soon… I don’t know. I guess I haven’t really thought about moving on and whatever. We’ve been by each other’s side for so long. It’s hard to believe that this is really happening, that we’re all grown up now…”

Sehun listened silently and reached an arm out, attempting to find Jongin’s hand. When Jongin reached for Sehun’s wandering one, he felt a soft peck at his jaw, knowing that it was Sehun’s way of comforting him.

“It is hard to believe that we’re growing up and becoming adults but I guess it’s a part of life.” Sehun smiled. “You’re a strong person. You can do it. And besides, it’s not like you guys are going to disappear forever. Baekhyun just made us swear our lives to keep in touch throughout our college years and adulthood. I’m sure that we’ll still try to get together more than once a year. It might not be as often as you would like… But still. This is all a part of experiencing life. You got this, Nini.” Sehun ended it with a poke at Jongin’s cheek.

The older didn’t say anything but leaned down while tilting Sehun’s head up to give the younger a kiss. He loved how Sehun would always try to comfort him but ends up making a speech and ending lamely with encouragement. Sehun always knew how to make him feel better and he was so grateful for having Sehun by his side. He was so lucky to ever have such an amazing boyfriend.

“And when these lovebirds are done showing the world their affection, we can get dinner.” Jongin heard Baekhyun bemoaned a few feet away.

Sehun erupted in a fit of giggles, holding onto Jongin so he wouldn’t fall back. Baekhyun huffed.

“Sehun, stop that. You’re not allowed to act cute.”

“You can’t control me, Baekie.” Sehun sang.

Baekhyun gasped. “Is that sass I hear?” The shorter pretended to faint, falling into Chanyeol’s arms. “Ah, Channie! They grow up so fast…!”

“Unlike you.” Jongdae interjected.

“Kim Jongdae. Come over here right now. I still need to rip your vocal cords out.”

The group laughed. Jongin slowly got up, helping Sehun as well. He was going to miss this, the laughter and the fun, but he knew that even though they’re going their separate ways, that this would not be the end.

~*~

Sehun was comfortably sitting on the floor between Minseok’s and Luhan’s legs, the older two sitting on the couch. A movie was playing on the TV but Sehun sat there, listening carefully to the words. He was creating his own movie in his mind with the sounds he could hear. It was pretty fun and made him enjoy the movie even more.

It was a little over a week after the large graduation ceremony. The friends decided to take plenty of time to spend with their families before they could hang out with each other and leave for their separate lives. That night was their weekly movie night and Sehun always loved movie nights. It made him feel very happy to just spend time with his two favorite people in the world (not including Jongin, of course). However, halfway through the movie, Minseok’s phone could be heard. The eldest excused himself as he left to go check it.

The youngest listened to the eldest shuffle off, his footsteps fading, before Sehun leaned back again. He could feel Luhan’s fingers in his hair, which made Sehun smile at the feeling.

Sehun could hear Minseok’s footsteps again, however, the pace was faster and it sounded as if Minseok almost slipped down the stairs. The blind boy could hear muffled “yes” and “I understand” from where he was sitting and he sat up in curiosity, even though it didn’t help at all. The boy could feel Luhan’s fingers leave his hair and heard the older shifting in his seat.

“Is something wrong?” Luhan asked.

Minseok let out a sigh. “The company is calling an emergency meeting. Something went wrong with the system and we lost a great deal of information. We also have to work extra hard to get the information back. I’m not sure if they want us to redo everything we had done in the past few months but we need to get there as soon as possible.”

Luhan gasped. “Do you know what caused it?”

Sehun couldn’t hear anything but he knew that Minseok was running his fingers through his hair in frustration. He knows about the eldest’s habits.

“No. It was all very sudden, but we need to get going. Sehun, you don’t mind being home by yourself, right?”

“I’m fine. You guys should get going.” Truth be told, Sehun never liked being home alone but he would never say anything against it. No matter how many times they tell him, Sehun would still feel like he’s burdening Luhan and Minseok by living with them. He always felt so selfish when he wants to tell them to stay home with him but he really has no right to say anything, especially in moments like this when it’s more important than him.

“Are you sure?” He heard Luhan ask.

Sehun put on his most reassuring smile. Luhan always had a special way of knowing if Sehun was fine or not. “Don’t worry about it, Luhan. I’ll be okay.”

“Alright.” The older ruffled his hair, making him pout. “If anything happens, don’t hesitate to call, alright?”

“Got it. Now go! The company needs you guys.”

With a few more “good-byes,” the pair left the house. Sehun remained still, waiting to hear the engine of the car disappear on the road. He was left in nearly complete silence, the movie still playing in the living room. Sehun sighed and shuffled back to the couch, reaching out to find the remote so he could turn off the television.

With nothing else to do, the blind boy made his way to his room. He slowly closed the door behind him and carefully made his way in, even though he knew that he didn’t leave anything on the floor. Sehun crawled onto his bed, curling up under the covers to take a nap and wait for his cousin to come home. He curled up and grabbed a pillow, taking a deep inhale. There was still a hint of Jongin’s scent and it made Sehun smile, allowing him to drift off to sleep.

Every time Sehun was left alone, the voices in his mind would always overpower any thoughts he wanted to have. The voices were from real people, real words that were spitted at him when he was younger. The words that were thrown at Sehun when he was back in China always made their way back to him, even if he knew he should try to let go. The harmful phrases and name calling, the teasing and the bullying sneak their way back, as if to forcefully remind the blind boy that there were great potential that it could happen again, that Sehun was probably never going to be fully apart of any group.

Sehun knew he should have told someone about it but he didn’t think it was too important because he always had either Minseok or Luhan around, and even Jongin and his other friends these days. It bothered him before and the voices made him do dangerous things but they haven’t actually occurred lately. Sehun would always sleep it off because every time he wakes up, Minseok or Luhan would already be back.

However, when Sehun awoke this time, no one was home. Sehun reached out to his desk and picked up his phone and asked for the time. It was already late in the evening. He asked for text messages or voicemails and received just one, from Luhan.

“Hey Sehun, it’s Luhan. You’re probably asleep since you didn’t pick up but I just wanted you to know that Minseok and I are probably going to stay at the company over night, or until very late, because we have to fix the system and get the files back. I hope you understand! Don’t forget to eat and take your medicine. I love you!”

The message ended there with Luhan making a few kissing sounds. Sehun smiled slightly at that and decided to send a text with “got your message. Don’t over work. See you guys whenever” and hopefully added several eyes emoji (he could never tell when he does voice command. He doesn’t even know what an eyes emoji is but Luhan sends these “emojis” all the time so he figured why not join?).

Sehun doesn’t feel like eating but he also doesn’t want to hear Luhan’s nagging so he pushed himself out of the comfort of his bed and made his way downstairs. He wasn’t too sure what was in the fridge but he reached inside and started feeling around.

The blind boy gave up after a while, nothing really seemed appetizing. He decided to just make some instant jjajangmyeon and call it a night. Sehun opened a cabinet on where they usually keep the instant goods. He felt the labels on the bags, thanking Luhan and Minseok for indenting the labels for him. Shuffling three steps to the side, he opened another cabinet to take out a bowl. He placed everything on the counter top and counted four steps to the left and opened one of the lower cabinets to pull out a small pot. He traced his fingers around the counter and filled the pot with water from the sink. Tracing his fingers back to find the stove, he placed the pot onto the bottom right burner and waited for the water to boil.

It didn’t take too long before he shuffled back to the bag of instant noodles and ripped it open, dropping the noodles into the boiling water and tossing the wrap into the trashcan. He reached into a drawer off to the side to take out chopsticks and started stirring the noodles slightly so they could all cook evenly. He had counted to 180 before he decided to take the noodles out and into the bowl. Turning off the stove, he placed the packet of the black bean sauce into the still hot water. He counted to 90 or so before he carefully removed the packet out of the pot and tearing it open. He squeezed all of the sauce into his bowl of noodles. Sehun quickly mixed it up before he stumbled around to clean up slightly and made his way to the living room with his bowl of noodles.

Making himself comfortable, he switched on the TV and started slurping on the mediocre tasting jjajangmyeon while listening to the movie Luhan, Minseok, and he were watching. It didn’t take long for him to finish his meal but it also didn’t take long for his mind to wander.

Sehun was curious how the movie was like. Did he depict it the same way? Did he imagine the characters to look the same?

He wondered what would it be like if he could see again. Would he still be living with his cousin?

He wondered what if he hadn’t been so upset about the death of his cat. Would his parents still take him and his brother out?

He wondered what if he planned everything out better. Would his cousin still find him in such a terrible state? Would he have been successful in what he wanted? Would he have disappeared? Would he have tasted what death was like?

He wondered what if he had seized to exist. Would anything be the same? Would his family still be living? Would they be happy, more so than if he were to be alive?

Maybe if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have gotten in the way of his brother’s and Luhan’s bonding time, he wouldn’t have made such a big deal of the death of his cat, his parents wouldn’t plan a trip to the sea in the middle of the year, his father didn’t have to drive them in the large storm, his family could be living.

Sehun, you have to stop thinking. Sehun let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He was letting his thoughts get too deep. I need to sleep.

Sleeping? Sleeping when you’re family is dead? Sleeping when Luhan and Minseok are suffering at work?

Sehun started shaking. The voices were taking over. He needed a distraction. Sehun needed a distraction. The blind boy frantically pulled out his phone and was about to dial Jongin’s number before he held himself back. Jongin’s sisters were in town because of their graduation and he knew they were having family time at that moment. He couldn’t interrupt because of him. He couldn’t call Luhan, even if his cousin said to call him whenever. Luhan and Minseok were probably very busy and working tiredly… That would be selfish to interrupt, right? He can’t be selfish… He’s been too selfish… He’s such a burden….

All you can think about is yourself. Everyone has to take care of you. You can’t do anything on your own.

Sehun shook his head and curled into himself. He covered his ears but the voices kept getting louder.

You’re so worthless. You can’t do anything when right.

Look at him! Trying to do things on his own! He doesn’t even know where he is!

Hey! Take his cane! He’s useless without that stick!

What are you going to do? Tell on us? You don’t even know who we are!

We should lock him in there!

He’s such a waste of space.

Sehun couldn’t hear anything else. He couldn’t hear the movie, he couldn’t hear the fact that he was screaming, he couldn’t hear the sound of the bowl crash and break on the floor. The voices were filling his mind and he felt so numb. He tried to make his way back to his room but he tripped over his own legs and crashed onto the floor. Sehun didn’t even realized that the broken pieces of the bowl pierced into his foot, causing blood to seep out of the skin. He slowly crawled up the stairs, feeling so drained. He didn’t even realize that he was crying.

“Go… Go away…” He cried as he curled up at the top of the steps.

What does that kid see in you?

He’s probably using you. That Jongin person.

Sehun froze in his movements. Jongin?

He doesn’t love you, no matter what he says. Why would someone as talented as him, as amazing as him, want someone worthless like you? He pities you. That’s the only reason why he’s ever around.

No… Jongin wouldn’t think that, he promised…

Promised? Who keeps promises? Just watch, he’ll leave you for someone better.

You’re worthless.

You can’t do anything right.

You’re weighing everyone down.

No… No…!

“You’re wrong!” Sehun screamed to no one.

Wrong? How are we wrong?

What can you do?

Prove it!

Prove that you can do everyone a favor! Go ahead! We’re giving you a chance.

Sehun started sobbing as he pulled on his hair. He can’t give in but he wants to so, so bad. He gasped, choking on his tears. He needed to feel something, he needed to feel anything. He doesn’t know where he is. His senses were blurring and his mind was spinning. Sehun slowly tried to get up on his feet but he couldn’t stand. He falls back onto the ground. The blind boy resorts to crawling to god knows where.

The darkness seemed to trap him and he’s struggling to breathe. He tries again to stand but he stumbles and rams into one of the tables. He doesn’t know which room he’s in and he can’t feel the pain. He doesn’t hear the clatter of his pills crashing on to the floor nor does he feel a bruise forming on his side.

HURry up aND DO SOMethiNG, YOu wortHLESs piece oF ! WHy can’t yoU DO ANYTHing rigHT?

He didn’t know when but he somehow found himself in the bathroom. Sehun was still sobbing but his body was on autopilot. He didn’t know what was happening but slowly, he felt something hit his skin. It felt so hot. It was burning but he could feel it. He could feel something.

Sehun’s brain was throbbing and he could feel it pounding against his skull. He curled into himself inside the bathtub. He doesn’t know what’s happening but he just wants everything to stop, to disappear…

Then disappear. There’s no one here to stop you.

~*~

Jongin laughed at the joke his eldest sister said. The Kim household was having a mini family game night, though it’s less competitive and more relaxing. Jongin was about to roll the dice when his phone started buzzing. He was contemplating whether or not to pick it up because there was this “no phones allowed” policy during game nights but when he saw it was Luhan calling, he knew it had to be an emergency.

“Sorry guys, I have to take this.”

“Kim Jongin!” His older sister playfully scowled. “You cannot pick up that phone!”

Jongin stuck his tongue out but stood up with his phone anyway. “It’s from Luhan… I think it’s an emergency if he’s calling.”

His mother looked worried but he gave her a smile.

“Who knows, though! I’ll be back.” Jongin quickly stepped out of the living room and placed the phone against his ear. “Hello?”

“Jongin?” He heard Luhan’s voice.

“What’s up, Luhan?” It was almost weird to hear how serious Luhan was sounding.

“Jongin… Can you go check up on Sehun for me? I tried to call him but he wouldn’t pick up his phone and I’m getting really worried.”

Jongin suddenly felt his heart dropped. He hurriedly dashed down the hallway, ignoring the confused calls from his family as he rushed out of the house, sprinting towards Sehun’s.

“Where are you?”

“Minseok and I are at the company because of an emergency. I thought Sehun would be fine at home by himself but this is a longer period of time so I tried to check up on him and I just… Jongin, I’m so worried right now.”

Jongin was running so fast that he couldn’t really catch his breath but he managed an “I’m on the way over” and an “I’ll call you when I get there” before he hung up. He reached to Sehun’s house in record time and frantically knocked on the door.

“Sehun? Sehun!”

When he received no answer, Jongin hurriedly grabbed the keys hidden in the small garden in front of the house. Jongin’s hands were shaking as he tried to unlock the door. He slammed it open and ran inside, quickly scanning the whole living area. He instantly heard something playing down the hallway and quickly made his way further into the house. He gasped when he saw light trails of blood leading from the living room to the stairs. As he climbed the stairs, he saw the shattered bowl near the couch and a small pool of blood, Sehun’s phone abandoned on the table.

When Jongin reached the top, his heart started pounding harder against his chest. The trail of blood was smeared on each end of the floor, a few misplaced items laid on the floor. Jongin rushed to find Sehun, throwing every single door in the hall open. Jongin opened the door to Sehun’s room and gasped. The room was an absolute mess, polar opposite to what it usually is. Furniture was knocked over, pills were scattered all over the floor, splatter of blood was splattered everywhere. Jongin felt sick.

At that moment, he heard water gushing and he whipped his head towards the bathroom. The light was on and he could see steam puffing out of the gaps between the door and the wall. Jongin could feel his heart thundering against his chest as he ran towards the door and tried to open it. However, it was locked. Jongin started to pound against the wood.

“Sehun! Sehun!! Sehun, open the door!”

He pressed his ear against the wood but he didn’t have to to hear the broken sobs and choked replies.

“Go away! You’re wrong… I… I can do whatever… Whatever... I… G-go away!”

His heart shattered when he heard Sehun’s voice full of pain. He had to get in there and stop Sehun from thinking negatively. He knew the younger was sitting under a spray of boiling hot water. He needed to stop him before it harms the blind boy. However, how was he supposed to get in? There was no way to unlock the door unless…

I can’t… I can’t just break down the door, can I?

This was an emergency. Besides, Minseok could replace the door anytime.

With a newly found resolve, Jongin took a couple steps back before he sprinted towards the door and rammed his whole body against it. Pain seared up his side but he couldn’t give up, not when Sehun was suffering and stuck inside. Jongin quickly got up and repeated his actions, over and over again until the door was ripped right off its hinges and Jongin fell inside. He scrambled up and hurriedly made his way to the bathtub, yanking Sehun out of the spray.

What he didn’t expect was Sehun screaming and struggling from his hold. The younger was sobbing so hard that his whole body was shaking. Sehun tried to pull away but he seemed too weak to do so. Jongin would have let go of Sehun because the younger’s body and skin were burning hot but he knew he couldn’t. He had to get Sehun back to reality.

“Sehun! Sehun, it’s me! It’s me Jongin…!”

“No! Stop! I have to go back…!”

Jongin wrapped his arms around Sehun tightly, unwilling to let go, despite the struggling and the burning sensation.

“You can’t! Sehun, snap out it! It’s all in your head! Please…! Please do it for me, Jongin!”

“… Jongin wouldn’t be here…!”

The older’s eyes widen at the statement. He realized that Sehun stopped struggling and was openly crying.

“J-Jongin doesn’t… d-doesn’t love me. He can’t love me… I… I’m a nobody…”

Jongin’s heart would have shattered a second time at what Sehun was saying. “Sehun… Sehun… I love you so much. You’re not a nobody, you’re a somebody. You can be anybody…”

Sehun shook his head and started struggling again. “You’re wrong! I’m worthless… I’m… I can’t do anything…”

“Sehun, you can do anything! You just need to-“

“Stop! No! You don’t know what you’re saying! I just… I… I don’t understand!” Sehun screamed.
“How can you love someone like me? I’m just a disabled person who can’t even help themself… I can only cause trouble! I’m a burden! A waste of space! What do you see in me? Because I can’t even see myself…!”

Jongin was shocked at the sudden outburst. Sehun kept thinking that way, no matter how many times he and the other reminded him how much he’s worth. The older was saddened at the fact that Sehun always seem to have an internal battle with himself. He needed to let Sehun know how much he loves him, how much people do care about him.

Jongin unwrapped his arms so he could lift his hands and cup Sehun’s face, tilting it toward him. The younger seemed surprised at the action and Jongin took that to his advantage.

“You don’t have to see, Sehun… I will be your eyes. I will guide you and I will always be here. I love you so much, Sehun. You are so important to me because you helped me realize who I really am. You fill my heart and I feel so complete when I’m with you… You are worth so much more than you think and you deserve so much more than you already have. You are someone whom I love. Nothing, no one, can ever replace the space you filled in my heart… You are my everything, and I promise that I will always be here by your side, even if you don’t want me to. I will protect you and help you. I am yours, Oh Sehun, and I hope you can be mine.”

With that, he leaned down and placed a kiss onto Sehun’s lips. Sehun sat frozen for a full minute before he frantically started kissing back. The kiss was rough and desperate, Sehun clutching onto Jongin’s clothes and hair to make sure he was really there, that this was real and what he was feeling was real. The two didn’t stop kissing, with only short inhales of breath in between, until Sehun broke away first, breathing heavily. He was still holding onto Jongin tightly and buried his face into Jongin’s shoulder.

“Please… Please don’t leave me…”

“I won’t… I promise.”

~*~

After the episode, Jongin had helped Sehun into new clothes, his old ones soaked in the water. He also cleaned up Sehun’s wounded feet, disinfecting and bandaging it. He should help clean up the mess but all he wanted to do was to be by Sehun’s side. The younger was fast asleep on the bed, looking completely exhausted and drained, unlike the peaceful face he had when he sleeps.

Jongin sighed as he took out his phone, dialing Luhan’s number. He only heard half a ring before the line was picked up and he could hear Luhan’s panicked voice.

“Is everything okay over there?”

The younger sighed and glanced at Sehun before he answered. “I wish I could say that it was…”

Luhan gasped on the other end and Jongin stood up and stepped out of the room to not disturb Sehun in his sleep.

“When I got into the house, I didn’t know what I expected. I think Sehun dropped a bowl or something and stepped on it. There was blood all over the floor and up the stairs. Sehun’s room is a mess right now and his pills are scattered all over the floor. I found Sehun sitting under the shower and steaming hot water was soaking him…” Jongin took a deep breath. “Sehun wasn’t himself. He seemed like he’s looking down on himself again and… I don’t know why…”

Jongin couldn’t hear anything on the other line for a moment before Luhan let out a sigh.

“I should have known better than to leave him alone.” Luhan murmured. “Sehun never said so but I know. He always gets lost in his own little torturous world when he gets left alone for long periods of time. Minseok and I try to be there for him as much as we can but… I should have known… We never left for this long before…”

There was silence between the two. The seconds ticked before Luhan spoke up.

“I’m really sorry for disturbing you, Jongin… You must have been with your family…”

“No, no! No need to be sorry, Luhan.” Jongin quickly answered. “I mean, yeah, I was with my family but Sehun was in trouble and so I had to help.”

“Thank you. I can’t thank you enough for being there for my cousin.” Luhan whispered. “It means so much.”

“Of course. You don’t have to thank me, I would always be by his side even if you don’t want me to.” Jongin smiled in relief when he heard Luhan’s chuckle on the other end.

“I’m sorry for bothering you again but is it alright if you stay there overnight, Jongin? I don’t think Minseok and I will be home tonight.”

“Definitely. I’ll make sure Sehun is safe, Luhan. I promise.”

“Thank you, Jongin. I need to get back to work. Please do rest well and thank you once again! I owe you more than just one…”

“Good luck, Luhan. I will do my best and don’t worry. You don’t owe me anything. Good night.”

After the two hung up, Jongin sighed. He called his family to let them know that he’ll be staying at Sehun’s house and that he apologizes for suddenly leaving. His mother reassured him that she understood the reason, after Jongin gave a brief explanation, and told him to sleep well. He placed his phone in his pocket and stepped back into the room. Sehun didn’t move from his spot but Jongin knew that the younger was awake.

He sat down beside Sehun and placed a hand on Sehun’s head, sliding his fingers into the dark strands. Jongin heard the blind boy let out a shaking breath, curling into himself slightly. Jongin watched as Sehun opened his eyes slightly but sighed and closed them again.

“How are you feeling?” Jongin asked.

Sehun didn’t say anything for a moment. “I’m sorry…” He whispered.

“Sehun. You don’t need to apolo-“

“No!” Sehun shot up from the bed, almost knocking Jongin over but the younger didn’t know that. “You don’t understand, Jongin...! I was being stupid and I knew I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so stupid for doing something I promised not only Luhan but also myself not to do! There’s nothing wrong with my life right now and I’m just so selfish for just trying to do… I don’t even know what I did…” Sehun was breathing heavily. “I don’t understand why I’m like this… I don’t know why I feel this way when I don’t deserve to be so…” Sehun’s voice quieted down near the end and trailed off.

There was a moment of silence. Jongin didn’t dare to say anything right away, not trusting his voice. He was racking his brain to form sentences that would reassure the younger. Jongin reached over and gently touched Sehun’s hand with the tips of his fingers, slowly moving to interlace their fingers. Sehun didn’t say a word but Jongin could see how the younger’s shoulders relaxed.

“Sehun, please listen to me when I say this…” Jongin waited for a response and received a small nod after a minute. “You need to stop looking down on yourself. I know it’s hard but you’re an amazing person… And I really wish you can see that…” He pulled Sehun in so he could hold the younger closer. “It’ll take time. Even though the accident happened years ago, the effects could last a life time so I understand. You’re still going through so much. You don’t have to apologize for this. It happens. You have every right to do what you did.”

“B-But…”

“No. No buts. Sehun…” Jongin leaned back slightly to take in Sehun’s features. The younger looked tired, his eyes closed and his lips pressed together slightly. “It’s okay. We understand, Luhan, Minseok, and I. We know that you’re still going through so much… It’s okay.”

Sehun didn’t say anything but nodded. Jongin knew that he wasn’t good with words but he hoped that Sehun understood. The younger leaned in, resting his head on Jongin’s shoulders and just let out heavy breaths.

“Let it out, Sehun… You don’t have to hold it back…”

Jongin didn’t know if it was his words or if Sehun just couldn’t hold it in anymore when the younger broke down. Sehun’s body started shaking and he let out choked sobs. Jongin quickly pulled the younger in close and held him, rocking his body slightly. He could feel his shirt getting soaked but he couldn’t care less at that moment. Jongin could feel Sehun’s hand clutching onto his shirt tightly as the younger started sobbing loudly, crying his heart out.

They didn’t know how much time passed but Sehun started to calm down, only sniffling at that time.

“It’s okay, Sehun.” Jongin whispered to the younger, placing a kiss on the top of his head. “I’ll be here for you… I will be by your side, whether you like it or not, and I will help you with anything…”

Sehun let out a soft sigh and curled himself closer to Jongin’s body. “Please don’t leave me…” He whispered.

Jongin felt his heart ache when he heard how broken Sehun’s voice was. He tighten his hold around Sehun slightly.

“I promised that I won’t… And I’m sure to keep this promise…”

~*~

Jongin woke up with Sehun resting his head on the older’s chest, the younger fast asleep. There was a warm glow behind Sehun’s curtains and Jongin knew it was still too early to be awake. However, he heard some rustling from the lower level and he was curious as to what it could be. He reached over to check the time on his phone, squinting as the bright numbers flashed.

4:53AM.

The older blinked many times to push the sleep away before shifting out of the bed. He was afraid of waking Sehun up so he tried to move slowly and replace his body with pillows. He didn’t know how but he managed to successfully maneuver himself out without disturbing the younger’s sleep. Jongin sighed when he noticed that he didn’t clean any of the mess up, the pills still scattered all over the floor. He sighed and carefully stepped around them.

Jongin slowly made his way towards the stairs, cringing at the light smell of blood and the sight of the dried up stains all over the floor. When he reached the stairs, however, he saw Luhan sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. There was a rustling noise in the kitchen so Jongin suspected Minseok to be in there. Jongin slowly climbed down the steps and realized that the stains on the main floor were gone and that the broken pieces of the bowl were gone as well.

Luhan lifted his head when he heard Jongin walking and gave a tired smile. Jongin knew how stressed Luhan must be going through and he couldn’t help but feel some sympathy.

“Hey Jongin.”

“Hi Luhan. Are you feeling okay?”

“Just tired. Thanks for taking care of Sehun.”

“Of course. No need to thank me again.”

Jongin sat down next to the other man, the two falling into a comfortable silence. Minseok entered the room a few minutes later with three mugs (two with coffee and one with tea). Jongin was surprised that Minseok made a drink for him, to which the older replied that he heard Jongin talking since the house is relatively quiet.

The three just drank their drinks quietly, no one daring to break the silence. Soon, Luhan placed his mug down and sighed. He turned to face Jongin with a worried expression.

“How is he now?”

Jongin didn’t need to ask who Luhan was referring to. “Sleeping. He seemed so out of it when I came and I was so scared when I entered the house. I never knew the panic of feeling like you lost someone until now.” Jongin sighed. “He started looking down on himself again. He was yelling and screaming about how he was worthless and a waste of space… And he was a mess. He begged me to stay when he realized who I was even though I reassured him that I would always be there…”

Luhan ran his hands through his hair and let out a deep exhale. “I think Sehun is having a relapse…” He mumbled.

Jongin saw Minseok nodding in agreement. “It sounds like it.”

“I don’t get it… It’s been so long and yet he’s having it again?”

Minseok shrugged, sipping his coffee. “The therapist did say that it could happen even after years of being fine. I think this is what he is referring to.”

Luhan let out another sigh, chugging his coffee down in one go. “I think we need to take Sehun to the therapist again. Or his psychological doctor…”

Jongin frowned at that. He knew that Sehun hated the therapist, the younger telling him back when they spent the winter holidays together. He knew Sehun would refuse to go but it’s probably the best choice that they had. Sehun was suffering again and they couldn’t just let him be.

“We’ll talk with Sehun about it when he wakes up…” Luhan mumbled before his shot his head up. “Hey Minseok… I have this weird feeling that Sehun didn’t take his medicine…”

“I saw them scattered all over the floor, still is actually…” Jongin said. “What type of medications were they?”

Luhan turned his head towards Jongin. “They’re anti-depressants.”

Anti-depressants? Jongin did a little research about anti-depressants a while ago when Sehun told him about it. He didn’t discover much since he found out that experts didn’t really know how anti-depressants worked nor how they affect the brain. All Jongin found out was that it was basically something to numb the pain and to blur the feeling for a while.

“Wait, you saw them scattered all over the floor?”

“Yeah…?”

Luhan sighed. “Yeah. I don’t think Sehun took his medicine… We’ll still go to the therapist though. Sehun had been doing so well for nearly two years now…” Luhan leaned back against his seat. “I don’t think Sehun can live on these pills forever. They can’t always work. These moments will probably happen more often in the future, you know… And I don’t know if Jongin will always be available…” Luhan shook his head, not saying anymore.

“Don’t think too much, Luhan.” Minseok said, placing his mug on the coffee table. “We’ll talk more in a little bit. You should get some rest. A lot happened in a few hours.” Minseok turned towards Jongin. “You should head back to bed too, Jongin.”

Jongin just nodded as Minseok dismissed him to go back to Sehun’s side. He told the two that the upper level of the house still looked pretty messy but Minseok waved it off and said he’ll take care of it. By the time Jongin entered Sehun’s room again, the outside was a little brighter. His phone read 6:37 and he yawned. Sehun had moved slightly in his sleep, his head resting on his own pillow instead of the makeshift pillow Jongin had made.

The older crawled back under the covers and adjusted himself to wrap an arm around Sehun’s waist. He laid there staring at the younger, who was snoozing away, still looking tired but looked more peaceful than when he had first fallen asleep. Jongin traced a few parts of Sehun’s face with the tips of his fingers before he drifted back to sleep.

~*~

The second time Jongin woke up, it was late in the morning, judging by the brightness from behind the curtain. Jongin blinked himself awake and wiped his eyes as he stretched. He glanced down and saw Sehun with his eyes closed. To anyone else, it would look like Sehun was still asleep but Jongin knew better.

“Good morning, Sehun.” He whispered to the younger.

Sehun only nodded in reply, barely moving from where he was. Jongin frowned slightly, reached over to brush strands of Sehun’s hair away from his face. The two stayed in bed for a while longer before Jongin heard rustling from the lower level and a few voices.

“Let’s start getting ready. It’s pretty late, I think.”

Before Jongin had the chance to sit up, Sehun shook his head rapidly and clutched onto Jongin’s shirt. The younger started shaking slightly and Jongin quickly wrapped his arms around him.

“Can… Can we stay like this… for a little longer?” Sehun asked in a soft, vulnerable voice.

Jongin felt his heart ache when he heard how scared Sehun sounded, as if the younger was afraid that everything would come crashing down when Jongin got up. Jongin decided that it was fine to stay in bed. He knew that Sehun needed extra attention because of his depression. Jongin also knew it was the side effects of Sehun’s relapse. He needed to be by Sehun’s side as much as he can because Sehun needed support at times like these.

The older didn’t know how long they laid there but there was a soft knock on the door. It opened and Jongin turned his head back slightly to see who it was. Luhan entered the room quietly, his eyes lingering on the pills all over the floor before shifted his gaze to the younger two. Luhan slowly made his way around to Sehun’s side of the bed. He smiled at Jongin before he sat down and reached over to pet his cousin’s head.

Sehun didn’t flinch, which was a good sign, but there was a hitch in his breathing. The three didn’t say a word for a long moment before Luhan broke it.

“It’s time to get up, Sehunnie.” Luhan spoke softly. “Breakfast is already made. Well, technically it’s lunch now but that’s okay.” When Luhan didn’t get an answer, he sighed. “Sehun, please, you need to eat. Let’s go, please?”

The youngest didn’t move but there was a very soft “okay” that both Jongin and Luhan heard, just barely. This made Luhan smile slightly and Jongin as well. It took a few more minutes of silent nudging before Sehun slowly got up from his bed. The blind boy seemed dazed and slightly out of it, reaching out blindly (literally) for whoever. Sehun grasped Luhan’s shirt before pushing himself off the bed. Jongin and Luhan helped Sehun wash up, Jongin slightly less since he needed to too, before helping Sehun down the steps.

Sehun was limping as he went, hissing when he but too much weight onto his wounded feet. Jongin frowned at seeing Sehun in pain but there wasn’t much else that he could do. Jongin also noticed how the stairs and the hallway of the upper level was cleaned up, looking as if nothing had happened the night before.

Minseok greeted them when they entered the kitchen. Jongin quickly helped Sehun sit on the stool before sitting beside the younger. Sehun sat quietly, accepting the plate that Minseok slide over but didn’t do much after that. Luhan came into the kitchen later, probably staying behind to clean up Sehun’s room. He frowned when he noticed that Sehun’s plate was left untouched.

“Sehunnie…” Luhan sighed. “You have to eat.”

Sehun didn’t move but he nodded. It took a little more coaxing before he reached for a spoon. Jongin didn’t know what to do but watched, one of his hands resting on Sehun’s thigh for comfort. Sehun didn’t eat much, however, losing whatever energy and motivation quickly and just dropping the utensil. Luhan tried to get the younger to eat more but to no avail. Luhan sighed again.

Jongin felt useless at that moment, not knowing what to do. He haven’t seen Sehun like that before and he really didn’t know how to act. He reached down and took one of Sehun’s hands in his, rubbing circles around the younger’s palm. Sehun tilted his head down, as if he was looking at what was touching him. There was a brief moment where no one moved nor spoke. Shortly after, Sehun slowly moved his hand to interlock with Jongin’s, making not only Jongin surprised but Luhan as well. The youngest slowly reached for his spoon again, taking a moment to find where he dropped it on the plate, before gradually eating again.

Luhan shifted his gaze between Sehun and Jongin, the gears in his brain turning. Jongin really didn’t know what he did but he was glad that he could help. When he turned his head slightly, he saw Minseok smiling at him and a bright grin on Luhan’s face.

After Sehun finished half the plate with the younger refusing to eat anymore, Luhan brought up the topic of going back to the therapist. It wasn’t surprising when Sehun flat out rejected.

“Please, Sehun? You don’t have to go there for long. We’re just going there to ask about your medication and a few other things. It’ll be like a checkup.” Luhan tried to pursue Sehun to go.

The younger looked hesitant but he seemed to be in deep thought. Jongin could feel Sehun’s grip tightened on his hand and decided that he should step in.

“Sehun.” Jongin whispered. “You should listen to Luhan. He’s thinking for the best for you and I think this is for the best too.” When Sehun still looked hesitant, Jongin scooted his chair closer and held Sehun’s hand in both of his. “Please do this for not only me and Luhan and Minseok but also for yourself. It will help. If you feel uncomfortable or something, let us know and we’ll stop right away.”

Sehun didn’t say anything. The clock was ticking loudly in the silent room, making everyone feel slightly tensed as they waited for Sehun’s answer. In the middle of the deafening silence, however, there was a small “okay.” Minseok smiled while Luhan’s eyes widened. Jongin grinned and tightened his grip on Sehun’s hand.

“Thank you, Sehun.”

There was a small smile on Sehun’s face.

~*~

Sehun had gone to the therapist and his psychiatrist several times in two weeks, checking on Sehun’s mental and physical health. Jongin had accompanied Sehun many times, hoping that his presence could help the younger calm down a little. It seemed to work because Sehun was holding Jongin’s hand nearly the whole session each time.

The doctor put down his pen after scribbling on this clipboard. “I think we should lower Mr. Oh Sehun’s dosage.”

Luhan shot up from his seat. “Really, doctor?”

The man nodded. “It seems like his mental health is getting better.” The doctor checked his clipboard again. “And from what your therapist has been telling me, it seems like you’re feeling better being around others. I believe that if you keep up having good interactions with others, it’ll help you. Though I am not taking you off your medication because you still have a pretty heavy depression but your mental state is much better than last time.”

Jongin could see the smile on Luhan’s face and a proud look Minseok’s. Sehun sat silently but Jongin could see a small smile on his face too. Jongin knew that this was definitely good news. Sehun was getting better and that was all he could ever ask for. He made a promise with the younger and he wasn’t going to break it anytime soon.

“I’ll protect you, Sehun.” Jongin whispered into the younger’s ear. “I’ll help you all the way.”

It wasn’t until they returned to the car to head back home when Sehun responded.

“I know… I trust you.”

~*~

Jongin was walking side by side with Sehun, making their way to their last group meet up before they all part ways. I took nearly a month before Sehun to open up again and started acting like his regular self. Fortunately, the relapse wasn’t as bad as the doctor had mentioned. Jongin had slept over at Sehun’s for nearly weeks at a time, going back home only to pick up a few clothes and visit his family. He felt bad for not being there with them but his parents were very supportive and his sisters encouraged him to stay. They were staying longer so Jongin had plenty of time to be with Sehun and to go home and spend time with his family.

As the two entered the small cafe, Jongin could feel a rush of memories fill him. He remembered the day when Sehun transferred to his school and he came to this very café with Kyungsoo to talk about feelings. He was glad Kyungsoo somehow helped him steer his mind in the right direction to befriend and later date Sehun. He also took Sehun to this café on multiple occasions, for many different reasons. He smiled at the thought and started leading Sehun towards the chattering group in the back.

“Ah! The golden couple is here!” Baekhyun announced.

“Sorry for being a little late. Sehun couldn’t decide what to wear.” Jongin sighed.

Sehun huffed. “Hey, just because I can’t see, doesn’t prevent people from looking at me! I have to dress nicely, too, you know?”

“But Hunnie bunny…!” Baekhyun cooed. “You always look nice!”

“Didn’t you keep announcing how hot he was back when he first transferred here?” Jongdae wondered.

“And I won’t stop now.” Baekhyun declared and dived over the table to grab Sehun’s hands. Thankfully, no drinks were in his way. “Sehunnie! You’re a fine looking man.”

The blind boy laughed loudly, using one hand to cover his mouth. “Thank you.” Sehun replied after calming down. “I’m sure you’re very handsome at well.”

“Trust me, he’s not.” Jongdae drawled, earning a kick in the shoulder from Baekhyun. “You’re lucky you don’t see his disgusting face!”

Kyungsoo placed the latte he was drinking down. “Didn’t Baekhyun say that to you before when Sehun first joined our group?”

“And it’s still true!” Baekhyun huffed.

Jongin laughed. It felt good to just hang out with his friends and to hear Sehun’s laughter again. They spent the rest of the afternoon just chattering and ordering plenty of drinks to keep them from getting kicked out. Even though this was their last get together before taking their own paths in life, the group treated it as if it was just a regular day. They knew that this wouldn’t be the last time they would see each other so they didn’t bother to make a large occasion just for this. After the sky began to darken, the group made their way back home to get packing for their travels.

Kyungsoo had gotten accepted to a university on the other end of the country. Instead of driving, he chose to take a plane. He had relatives living in the area so they could pick him up and help him settle into the dorm at the college. Since Yixing and Kyungsoo were already keeping a long distance relationship because Yixing was attending college in China, it wouldn’t be too hard to continue doing that for a little longer, until Kyungsoo graduated and they could move in together. Jongin was still a little peeved that he didn’t know about Yixing sooner but he couldn't bring himself to stay mad. He did acknowledge that if he had paid a little more attention, he would have probably noticed.

Jongdae was traveling away to college an hour or two train ride away, which wasn't too far. It would be tedious to travel back and forth, however. He somehow scored into a college that was close to Junmyeon’s university so the two didn't have to travel far to see each other. Jongin was glad that the couple could stay together. Even though they looked like an unlikely couple, they really were meant for each other with Jongdae's hyper personality and Junmyeon’s calmness perfectly balancing the other out. Jongin really hoped for the best for these two.

Chanyeol was heading a little out of the district, a few hour drive away. He was going to one of the colleges that were known for economics. Baekhyun was tagging along, decided that he was going to take a gap year. The couple had decided that they were going to rent an apartment together while Chanyeol goes to school and Baekhyun taking in a job and spending time to see what he really wanted to do. Jongin could only hope that the two will continue to stay together after living with one another.

Sehun had gotten accepted at the art university of his dreams, the professors being really impressed with his portfolio. When Luhan had read the letter to Sehun the other day, the blind boy was nearly in tears. Though, the university is pretty far from where they currently live, Luhan was worried for Sehun living by himself or with someone he doesn't know. That's how Jongin got pulled into the mix. Luhan and Minseok had found another college pretty close to Sehun’s university that had a little bit of everything so Jongin could attend. They also found an apartment that was decent in size between the two colleges. Jongin didn't mind that Luhan and Minseok had planned something for him without him knowing but he actually liked the idea and agreed to it. His family was very supportive as well, which gave Jongin plenty of relief.

It was already the day Jongin and Sehun were to head out. They had bid farewell to Kyungsoo and Jongdae a few days before and Baekhyun and Chanyeol would bid them farewell and leave right after them.

“Stay safe you two!” Baekhyun ordered as he patted Sehun’s cheek like a loving mother. “And don't forget to keep in touch!”

“We will.” Sehun reassured.

“Send pictures constantly.” Luhan reminded after he helped Jongin put the last of the bags of clothes into the back seat of Jongin’s cars. “Text Minseok and I daily, okay?”

“I will.” Sehun replied.

“Do you have everything?”

“I’m pretty sure I do.”

“Pills?”

“Yeah.”

“Toiletries?”

“Yup.”

“Your phone?”

“Right here.”

“The love of your life?”

“In the driver's seat.”

The cousins shared a laugh before Luhan pulled the younger into a hug.

“I’m gonna miss you, Sehun.”

“I’m gonna miss you too, Luhan.”

Luhan rubbed a thumb on Sehun’s cheek. “You grew up so well…”

Sehun leaned into the touch, a small smile spreading on his lips. “Thank you for taking care of me, Luhan. I don’t know where I would be without you…”

“It’s my duty as your cousin. If you’re feeling lonely, don’t hesitate to come back home, alright?”

“Alright.”

Luhan smiled and opened the passenger side to help Sehun sit down. Before he closed the door, he pointed a finger at Jongin.

“You better take care of my cousin, Kim Jongin.”

Jongin grinned. “I will, Luhan. I can promise you that.”

Luhan smiled and shut the door. The four shared one last good bye before Jongin started driving off. Sehun fiddled with his seatbelt and was fidgeting excitedly. Jongin could feel how excited and nervous Sehun was and it made him smile widely. He knew that everything will be work out in the end, even if there were a few bumps in the road.

“Are you ready?” Jongin asked, glancing over to Sehun.

The blind boy grinned. “Of course.”

---

AN: Whew! That was a long one! I hope you guys enjoyed it! I really tried to create something that you guys would all like...! I rushed the editing process so I could get this out for you all so please excuse any mistakes! I kind of combined a bunch of the ideas I had shared in the my other story. I hope you guys didn't mind! Were you surprised that Yixing was Kyungsoo's boyfriend? Were you shocked that Tao and Sehun knew each other before? Did you catch any of the connections I made throughout the whole story? Please let me know in the comments and what you guys want to see next!

I'm also not an expert on depression and relapses and I did my best to research so if some of the information is wrong, I apologize!! Please do let me know and I'll try my best to fix it as soon as possible!

And don't worry for it ending here! I am working on a bonus chapter which is a little sneak peek on Jongin's and Sehun's college life! I will be adding it to this story so please do continue to stick with this! (You can also request what you want to read too! Don't hesitate to let me know!)

Anyways, Happy New Years, everyone! Please stay safe and have a wonderful 2016! Until the next update! :-)

Word Count: 18174