It's been 5 years since he's gone. Since he lost his battle with brain tumor. You now have a new boyfriend, who cares about you wholeheartedly. You just started dating for a week, and you're still learning how to love him.

You can't deny that Yoongi will always have a special place in your heart and no one will ever replace him. He was, and still is the most important person in your life, he taught you happiness, sadness, and most importantly love. He was the first person who made your life a fun roller coaster ride. He made your life colorful.

Today is his birthday, you plan to visit him at the cliff. Before he died, he asked for his ashes to be spread to the sea by you from the secluded cliff that he found and brought you to. It's your 'home' with him. It holds so much memories of yous. You prepared everything for your visit, his favorite red bean buns, some strawberry milk, and blanket.

You didn't forget to bring letters that he wrote. He gave you three letters before he's gone, but only two letters you've read. The ones when you're happy but missing him and when you're sad and missing him. The last letter is written for you when you're ready to move on. Yes, it took you 5 years to want to move on from him, to accept that he's gone.

When you arrived at the cliff you open the blanket to make a place for you to sit, you make it look like a picnic. You know no one will come to this place. You open the last letter that he left, and you notice how different his style of writing from the other two.

"Annyeong Jagi, so you finally read this one, eh? I bet you've read the other two million times already. I hope you read the happy one more often. I want you to feel happiness even without me. And if you read the sad one and the reason is me, I'm so sorry.

I hate myself for being the reason of your sadness. You should know that I mean every single word that I wrote, I want you to feel that I'm still there, that I'm looking at you, protecting you. That you still can depend on me. If I have a choice, I don't want to be sick, I want to be healthy, I want to get married, see our kids grow up, and spend my time with you until our hairs all grey.

But God has other plan and we can't do anything about it. While writing this letter, I realize my condition is really that bad, that I don't have enough time with you. That my plans will never come true. That I can't run from this reality.

I wish this is all just nightmare, that I will wake up and be healthy, but I know these are just wishful thoughts. Actually I don't want you to read this one, ever. Not that I have something bad to say or this letter is . But the idea of you moving on is just unbearable. I don't want you to move on, I don't want you to forget me. But you should move on and there are things I want to show you through this letter, things that I should've done when I still have time."

How should I forget you when you made everything reminds me of you? And moving on doesn't mean forgetting, right? You thought to yourself.

"If you already have a new boyfriend, I'm jealous of him, okay? I hope he makes you happy as I do, or maybe happier. I've hurt you by letting you stay with me through my struggles and see me in so much pain. But what can I do? I want my last days to be spent with you, every second. That's how selfish I am. Again, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you should see it, and I'm sorry I should leave you earlier.

This letter isn’t only for you, but for me too. I'm writing this to let you go, to accept that I’m only gonna be a memory. I realize that I'm the one who's holding onto you. That's why I made the two letters like I'm still alive, like I'm still in your life."

You are really shocked how he knew what’s in the future, you miss him so much. Even in his letter, he’s still an arrogant, weird guy that you fell in love with. At this point you're crying really hard and trying not to let any tears smudge his handwriting. You calm yourself first before continuing.

"I wish you’re not crying while reading this, I know how sensitive you are so to make it up to you, I've prepared everything that will help you move on. There are places I want you to visit. The first place is the place when we first met, you know where is it right? Go there and continue this after you arrive."

You follow his instruction and clean up everything. You drive to your high school, and memories hit you so hard.

"Go to the tree near basketball field, you know which one. Search for the arrow sign on the tree and dig the dirt under it."

You reached the tree that he mentioned, it's a big oak tree, it's been planted since this school's built, and it's he and you's favorite place to chill. You remember how his face lit up whenever he found new lyrics. You remember how he took your books so your attentions were on him.

Finally, you found the sign and dig the dirt. You took out a box and open it. There are some puzzle pieces and a pair of silver shoes. You clean your hand and start to read the letter again, you search for some explaination but find nothing.

"You found it right? Please bring the shoes with you. And don't forget the puzzle pieces, there are still more of it at other places. Your next stop is the coffee shop where we had our first date. Please continue this letter after you arrive,"

You bring the whole box with you to the car and drive to the coffee shop. When you entered the shop, you're engulfed by coffee smell that you miss. Yoongi really loved coffee and this place has his favorite Americano. You wonder how his taste was the opposite of his stage name, Suga. You called him Sugar after it.

You really miss coffee, you never drink coffee again after his death. So you order his favorite drink and wait for it. You take your usual seat with him near the window. You open the letter and continue,

"I bet you are sitting at our usual place, do you order your favorite latte? Or my favorite Americano? Ah, I shouldn't have asked, you hate Americano, you hate bitter taste. Do you still remember the owner of this shop? Yes, Mrs. Park. Go ask her what I left for you and continue this letter after you found the box. Oh, and don't forget to say hi for me."

Your Americano comes at the perfect time. "Excuse me, is Mrs. Park at her office?" You ask the waitress who brings your drink. You and Yoongi were really close with Mrs. Park, she always finds you two are a really cute couple and the thought brings smile to your face. "Yes, she is, do you want me to bring you to her office?" The waitress replies, you just smile and shake your head.

After you finish your drink with extra creamer and sugar, you make your way to her office and absorb your surrounding. You still can't get enough to see how beautiful this place is, the walls are made of bricks and give a homey feelings. The vintage pictures give a touch of uniqueness to the walls.

When you arrive at her office, she looks up and her face lits up "Omo, sweetie, I thought I'll never see you again here." You just give her a sheepish smile and a hug. "I really miss you, it's been 5 years, right? I know what you're doing here, I'll bring you to where the box is."

You recognize the halls, you remember there is a brick that Yoongi changed with a hollow brick so you two could write letters for each other when you were fighting. "(Y/N), you know where to search, I'm sorry about Yoongi." "It's okay Mrs. Park. And thank you for letting us use this wall. Oh, and Yoongi asked me to say hi." You can see her eyes are glistening, she really cares for him and you hug her once again, and then she makes her way back to her office.

You pull out the brick and find a small box and a handkerchief with flower pattern, the one that you gave him in the hospital. Inside the box you find a beautiful heart neckles and puzzle pieces again.

"How is Mrs. Park? I hope she's healthy. So, you found the second box, don't leave your handkerchief again! Put on the neckles, do you like it? I hope you do. It's the one that you like when we went out for a date in Busan. The next place is... the place when we first kiss. Hope you enjoy this game Jagi."

You close the letter again, knowing that you should continue reading until you arrive at home. You had your first kiss with him at your tree house, it's located at your backyard. You were making a bonfire with your bestfriends and him and that kiss just happened. You park your car in your garage, and walk to your backyard.

"Jagi, go to our tree house. Please be careful when you climb the stairs. You were so clumsy, you fell on me, you remember? You're heavy! Hahaha I'm sorry, I'm just kidding, just be careful okay? Look under the chair near the window for the box."

You chuckle when you remember that accident. You find the third box, when you open it you gasp. Inside it, you find a dress. It's not an ordinary dress, it's the dress you wore in a phoshoot with him. A wedding photoshoot. You remember how handsome he was wearing a black tux. You can feel your eyes sting from the memory.

The dress is so breathtaking and beautiful, it's a long broken white mermaid dress that accentuate your curves. The whole dress is lacy and you fall in love with it once again. You hold it close to your heart, how can he prepare all of this? Your heart is aching because you want him to see you in this dress again.

You remember his promise that one day you'll get married. But he's gone, he's gone. And there's nothing you can do about it. You continue to read the letter.

"Do you remember the dress? Do you love it? Don't forget the puzzle pieces, okay?"

You glance at the box and see the puzzle pieces.

"The last place is.. my house. Bring every box with you to my room. And search for the last box in my closet, it's a really small box, so look carefully. Please wear everything that I gave to you before you open the last box."

You place the dress back inside the box and walk to your car. You take out the other two boxes with you and walk to his house. Yes, his house is across from yours.

You knock on the door and his mom opens it. She's shocked to see you here, "Eomeoni, good evening." You smile at her and miss Yoongi even more. He really resembles his mom. Mrs. Min hugs you so tight, "Sweetheart, I really miss you too, you finally come here, huh? After those years?"

Your tears start to come back and you chuckle, "Nae eomeoni, how are you? Is abeoji home?" "I'm good, abeoji is working, this house is so quite without Yoongi, even though he toured and all but still..." You hear her sigh and you say, "Eomeoni, please accompany me to Yoongi's room, apparently he prepared some surprises for me." His mom just chuckles and mumbles "that kid"

When you enter his room, you can't contain your tears anymore. "Eomeoni, help me use this dress, please?" You choose to wear the dress righ away. After you wear it, you see your reflection in the full length mirror in his room. The dress fits you perfectly and you wonder how. The silver shoes really match the dress, and the neckles just... completes the look.

"(Y/N)-ah, you're so pretty in this dress." "Thank you, Eomeoni." You start to search the little box in his closet with the help of his mother. Not long after his mom finds it and gives it to you. You open the box and there's a velvet box and 7 pieces of puzzle again. You open the box and find a really beautiful silver ring.

"Before you put on the ring, please assemble all the puzzle pieces and read the words on the back."

After a good 10 minutes, you complete the puzzle, Eomeoni already left you to make some foods. You realize that it's one of the photos from the wedding photoshoot. The one that you really like, the one when you wore the exact dress you are wearing. When you turn the puzzle you see "Will you marry me?" Shock is an understatement for your feelings right now, with blurry eyes you continue to read his letter.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N). I can't propose you face to face, I should've done this before it's too late, but I can't. I want to kneel on one knee and give you the ring myself. I want to see you walking down the isle in those white gown, I want to be your husband, I want to make you happy.

But if I do these things when I'm alive, it’d bring more sadness to you, so here I am writing this letter. There are too many things that I haven't done and this is my biggest regret.

With this, I want to ask you to be my wife, though we will never say our vow but I believe in the next life we will be in each other arms. I promise I'll protect you from now on, and I'll love you till the end of the world. I don't give you much choice and I insist for you to accept my proposal.

I've done the only thing that I regret the most, I have no regret now. It's your turn to move on. I know regret is the one holding us back, holding you back. You should look up to the future.

See you in next life, from your Sweet Sugar."

You fall down to your knees and tears don't want to stop. You're chanting the word yes again and again, hoping that it's the spell to bring him back to you.

"See you in next life, my Sweet Sugar."

A/N:

I didn't mean anything by making Yoongi die, I really adore him and I pray for the best. Hope you guys enjoy!!