"Jagyi, my head hurts... my waist hurts. Hold me, please!"

Jongin woke me up, in the middle of the nite, telling me about his pain. Normally, he would bother me at late hours, in the nite for some other things and I would be angry at him. But hearing his sad tone in his voice and the way he said it, it bought tears into my eyes. But I have to be strong for him and don't cry in front of him and make him cry as well or worse: make him think I'm crying because he woke me up and I'm upset. He hugged me tightly, against his body and I felt his desperation into his hold. 

 

 

" Oh baby, come here! u took ur medicine, rite?" He nodded. I turned to him, then lay on my back so he can position himself on top of me, with his head on my chest so my hands could caress his lovely, almost angelic face and his waist, in pain now. I hate it when he's feeling bad. It hurts me too because I know is hard for his body to support such pains.

 

 

He was a dancer before and the stress he had to turn everything, every single move into perfection was too much for his nervous system. Also, his body had to suffer for practicing almost nonstop, for working so hard. U know, maybe some others would throw bad words at me for not supporting him anymore in his career and to carry on with his dance.

 

 

But when I saw, an year ago, for the first time how tired he became day by day more and more, how his body almost gave up because he often forgot to eat, from too much passion for dance, I decided I can't have him going on dat way. He has to give up and rest. I didn't wanted him to die, I wanted him healthy, enjoying life and be with me, in peace and love. So I told him to choose between me and dance, I had to. He was too young for something bad to happen to him.

 

 

Jongin was shocked and when he saw me packing my things, ready to leave him he choose me. I know, I was selfish but still, I couldn't lose him and have him dying. I would have felt forever guilty for not stopping him at time. I'm glad he understood after I talked to him, dat he has to dance in a normal way, in order to cure his overworked body. His passion for dance was IMENSE and he had to take a break at any cost. 

 

 

" I'm sorry, Jongin baby! stay as comfortable as u want, crush me with ur body but please feel better, ok?" I softly, whispered to him, praying in my mind for him and his health. He is doing better than before but still, he would have body aches from time to time. Jongin has some medicamentation to take for his cure but he is fine with dat and I'm glad he is positive about his healing.

 

 

Maybe u find it weird his condition and u would thing I'm exagerating, but he started dancing since elementary school, practicing, teaching the other dance passionates and he continued with dance until 27, last year. Is was too much for a body to take, in such rough and nonstop exercising, almost without a break years and years.

 

 

When I knew him, I admired him so much for being so so dedicated and into dance but I started to worry about him as the time went by and it was better this way, to support him and encourage him to give up for his own sake. I loved him too much to let him torture himself. I still love him so much and I'm willing to do anything what he wants, anything he's asking me to do, just to know he is fine, just to make him forget about the pain. 

 

 

He chuckled a bit." I can't really squish u and make ur bones numb with my weight, now can I?" 

" Shh, just stay here, inhale exhale. U know I don't mind. Let me feel ur pain, share it with me. I can't stand to see u so down, scrunching up ur face in pain." I kissed his head repeatedly and then ran my fingers through his soft hair. Oh God, I love him so so much and I'm so glad he is mine and he's here with me so I can take care of him. 

 

 

" Thank u, my sweet girl." He took my hand in his and lifted his head to slowly peck my lips. He made me smile, I adore him. His face, oh! It bring me tears of joy, looking at him. He's so beautiful!

 

 

" I love u, SO SO MUCH! Jongin, I love u!" I positioned my body better on the pillows and he would stay more comfortable on me, without worrying if he's crushing me with his weight, hehe. I hope he will fall asleep soon and he won't feel pain anymore. My baby, he's too adorable snoring on my chest.

 

 

" Why r u giggling?" He breathed his words on my skin and he sent me some shivers, when his lips touched my skin. 

" u snoring, so many times but... Jongin, kiss me. Kiss me a bit, please!" I can't resist without his lips. I helped him, to come closer to my face so we get to kiss, slowly. His lips on mine r my response from him when I say I love you. Him, kissing me so softly, so innocent yet passionate, means I love you too!

 

 

" Now sleep baby, ok? I' m here: ALWAYS!" I assured him and took his face in my palms to peck him thrice more. I'm happy I made him smile.

He put his head on my beating heart and he kissed me there as well. Sweet boy, tryin to kill me with ur fluffy and full of love gestures? Aww, my teddy bear. I feel so content having him so close to me, breathing on my skin, with me caressing his head and his waist and taking some peaks at him to see him with eyes closed, with parted lips, sleeping like a little baby. My life is complete! God, please take care of him and us and thank u for giving him to me! :)

 

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just think about his health as well, my dears! don't expect him to be a dancing machine on and on and a machine because he is also a HUMAN BEING and he needs a break and he needs health, ok? He showed us already he is the GREATEST so let's thank him for all his efforts! He is such a WONDERFUL human being, omg! let's love and support him and just think about him and his life more, not only on the stage! :) ~~ thanks for readin this *xoxo*