"I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful " Jimin whispers to himself as he holds his knees to chest. He was rocking back and forth in the bathtub as hot water from the shower head hits his skin, leaving small red marks. Tears were streaming down his cheeks but quickly disappearing as they faded into the shower water. All the members were used to hate comments from 'fans' and usually brushed them off, but for some reason some stuck in Jimin's head. No matter how hard he tried, they echoed in his brain without a stop. "Jimin is losing his abs, so that defeats his purpose" "Jimin is supposed to be the looks in the group, but not with a fat stomach , geez""What a waste a space, you fatty" Their voices circled his head for hours and hours, until he couldn't take it anymore and decided to let it all out in the shower.

This is the third day without eating and his stomach ached with unbearable pain. He always drinks water so he wouldn't be dehydrated but the only thing he nibbled on was a small piece of chicken he stole from Taehyung to make it seem like he was actually eating. He always had stomach problems so this was only adding to it, but it made the fans happy, right? He decided to go to the gym everyday for two hours verses the regular one, taking away his sleep little by little every day. He needed to look perfect, for his fans, right? He can't let anyone down, right? More and more questions popped into his head, forcing more silent tears to fall down his face.

After what seemed like forever, he stood up dizzily and turned off the shower. He made sure the shower was hot so he wouldn't have to look up at his reflection in the now foggy mirror. He couldn't stand to see the body of a failure. The smell of Jin's cooking from the kitchen was leaking through the vents and in response his stomach released a loud grumble. Jimin slapped himself quickly to make the thoughts of eating dissapear. "For the sake of the fans and my family" he whispers to himself while slipping on sweats and a loose t-shirt. He glued on a smile, opened the door and walked to the kitchen to see the others gathered around the table. Jimin is supposed to be the happy member of the group along with Hoseok and Taehyung, so he can't act suspicious.

"Hi guys!" Jimin half-shouted with a goofy grin plastered on. 

"What took you so long? Geez, Hyung is almost done cooking" Namjoon said from one end of the table.

"Yeah, yeah, at least I'm here before he's done. But anyway, I'm full from a late lunch I ate earlier after working out, so you guys go ahead" Jimin replyed, only to get a few odd glances from Yoongi and JungKook. They always like to pick on Jimin for how much he eats at dinner, so he guesses he let them down a bit.

"Are you sure? I made extras for us for working hard this weekend" Jimin heard Jin shout from the kitchen.

"Yeah, it's all good, I'll go watch some dance videos or go sleep in JungKook's bed" Jimin joked as he gave a small laugh. Everyone nodded as he walked away down the hall, holding his breath. When he reached his bed, he exhaled and fell onto his bed. Jimin's stomach hurt. Not just the usual hungry hurt or upset hurt, there were multiple stabbing, sharp pains. He layed in the fetal position while grabbing his stomach and feeling his eyes start to gloss over. He never felt this before, but pushed it aside because it would make him perfect soon, right? He tried his best to ignore the pain as sadness flooded in and slowly tried to fall asleep.

------

Jimin woke up at around 3am to extremely sharp pains all over his abdomen instead of just his stomach. He let a small cry escape as he limped his way to the bathroom, hoping it was just an extreme virus and vomiting would make it all better. He gagged a few times until he finally let loose and only water came flying out into the toilet. Since he didn't eat anything, after a few minutes of water, there was just dry gags followed by dripping sweat from his is forehead. He felt like he was going to explode but somehow reached up to flush the toilet and inched his way back to bed, gripping his side and tripping over his feet a few times. When his head hit the pillow, he exhaled a breath he was holding for awhile and tried to sleep once again.

------

Please log in to read the full chapter