"What should we eat later?" A petite girl asked. "Hmmm" The guy shrugged, like he was unsure of what to say. "I don't know?" The guy stopped from walking and faced the girl. I saw the girl pouted. I had sensed that the guy was captivated by his girlfriend's cuteness. The girl is really cute. Droopy eyes that always seemed welcoming. A smile that could brighten anyone's day. I guess?

"It's not that I don't want to eat, but" he paused for awhile and smiled. "Babe, It's still morning. And your Mom packed us some lunch." He ruffled the girl's hair.

"Ah!" They must have noticed that I was listening to their conversation. I diverted my gaze to the school's entrance so that they won't notice. I am at the school grounds. Since I arrived earlier than I thought. I was waiting for someone.

"Yah!" She knocked my head. "Aissh!" I rubbed my head, the spot she hitted. It didn't really hurt. I wish it didn't.

"Mom gave this" she placed a blue lunch box onto my lap. "It's because you forgot to bring yours." She sighed. "What should we do with you? Huh? Oppa?" She asked in an annoyed tone but her eyes says otherwise. It showed more of her concern and worry. "Hyung, Are you really okay?" The small guy laughed. "It's weird to see you so early."

"Why are you calling me, Hyung?" I asked him. Full of dominance. "Did I even gave you a permission to date my Minah?" I smirked. I swear that I could sense his fear when I said that. He wasn't even able to utter any recognizable words.

"Yah! Oppa!" Minah is now making face. Like she wants to kill me. How can an angel's face become a devil's face in a snap? "I am just kidding." I laughed. "Just don't hurt my sister, Byunghun. Or else, you might not be able to breathe"

"Than—"

 

I instantly left them when I saw who I was waiting for. She had been on my mind ever since I saw her. I first saw her on the street that me and my friends hang out to. We accidentally bump onto them. My friends said that she was one of the top student in our batch. Maybe I didn't notice because I didn't care about recognition. Or maybe because I just didn't really cared. Not until I met her.

She was walking flawlessly. It was like watching a runway show. Not like I really know how modelling works, but she seemed like the prettiest person I had ever saw.

"Ah.. uhm.." Words won't come out of my mouth. I am feeling anxious. My heart beats faster than the milisecond. It's all I could hear. Why does it beat abnormally? At times like this?

 

"Minsoo?" Did someone called my name? "Minsoo?" I can't hear it properly. "Yah! Minsoo?" I saw the prettiest girl I had ever laid my eyes on infront of me. It was like meeting her again, for the first time. "Oh" was all I could say.

"Good morning! Minsoo-yah!" She smiled which made me smile. "Oh! You are smiling!" She laughed. I just laughed with her. "I am capable of smiling, and laughing" I looked down. Hands on my pockets. "You know? I could and I can" I trailed off.

She smiled again. From her expression I know that she is weighing her response. "I know." She said. Sincerly. "Ah" she looked at her watch. "I need to go now, Minsoo. Nice talking to you. Let's catch up soon?" She started running away. She started to drift away. She's slowly disappearing.

I reached out my hands. Trying to touch her still visible body. It's too late. I know that it's late. The bell rang. Statement that the classes would start soon. Why am I always late for everything? I sighed.

"I'll be punished again"

 

******************

I was looking outside the window. Spacing out. Trying to forget every bits of memories I have. If that is possible. I looked at the sky. So calming. Then I looked at the field. I saw there a young couple. Enjoying their day together.

"Oppa, look at this" She showed him a portrait of the countryside. "What is that?" He asked. "Ahh.. this?" She pointed at her portrait. "It's a drawing. Oppa, are you blind? I know that your eyes are small but I didn't know that you were blind" she moved closer to him. Touching his eyes. "Ahyoung-ah, am not blind. Or maybe I was blinded by your flashing beauty."

"Ah! That was so cheesy, Oppa!" She slapped his arm playfully.

"What are you making Oppa?" she rested her chin on his shoulder. Trying to peek onto what he was doing. "I am making Ahyoung. Though I don't know if I could justify her beauty." She smiled at him. Assuring him that she would like it no matter what.

"What are you looking at Minsoo?" Jongdae asked. He is a friend of mine since middle school. "Nothing." I sighed. "Are you really fine? You are not sick, right?" I looked at him and smiled slightly. "Yeah. I guess... I'll be" I whispered.

"CANOOOOON BALLLLLLLL!" Seunghoon came in and threw a ball towards me and Jongdae. "Yah! Seunghoon-ah! You bastard will die! I tell you!" Jongdae ran towards Seunghoon and started hitting each other. In a playful manner. "Secret technique of konoha!" Minhwan entered the scene and poked Jongdae's bottom. "Yah! Let's attack Minsooooooo!" They started running towards me. I ran to the corridors so they won't catch me. Then I saw her, laughing. Being happy. Without any worries. I stopped running.

"Gotcha!" Seunghoon said as he had laid his hands on my shoulder. "Pokemon! Gotta cachem alllll! Pokemon! I will be the very best that no one ever was!" They started singing. When they noticed that I wasn't joining them they asked me what was wrong.

To which I answered "Nothing's wrong. I guess, I'll just pass." I walked away. Away from everything. Away from them "Pass? Again?" I heard their faint voices. "Oh! Ahyoung-ah! Let's eat together!" I could still hear Jongdae's loud voice.

I walked out of the school. Trying to cut every ties I have with them. Not trying to cut school or anything. Just taking a break. Taking a long walk. I closed my eyes and tuck my earphones.

"Happy songs. Happy songs." I chanted mentally. Only good songs and happy songs. To divert my emotion to a bouncy memory. I played High High by GD&TOP.

I started to roam around this neighborhood. A long tiring walk to a familiar yet foreign place. I used to hang out on this place. Happy memories keep flashing on my mind. Like it was a movie. I wish it was a movie. Just a movie, in which I never really invested anything. Any feelings.

I stopped walking, in front of a theater. My lips automatically smiled. I saw the the two of us. All giddy. In love

"Oppa? Should we watch this? Or this?" She was choosing the movie that we were about to watch. "Hmmm. Anything that Ahyoung wants, Oppa also wants" I smiled at her making her laugh. "Oppa~ stop being cute will you?" I pinched her cheeks. "How can I? When I know that Ahyoung would fall deeper in love with Oppa?"

"How was the movie?" She asked when the movie ended. "Ah? I don't know? I was only looking at Ahyoung the whole time" I hugged her. "Oppa? It's raining! We forgot our umbrellas!" I looked outside. "Uh! It is!" I dragged her outside and played under the rain. She was happy. I was happy. We were happy.. together.

 

On days where thin rain falls like today

I remember your shadow

I felt a drip of water on my cheeks. I looked up and saw that the sky was crying. I tried to find a shelter. I saw a day care center. "Excuse me" I called the attention of the person incharge. "Oh? Yes, sir?"

"Can I stay here for a while? Till the rain stops?"

Another girl came in. She was shocked when she saw me. "Yah! You are Minsoo, right?" I nodded. I recognize her. She is Hyosung Noona. I used to see her alot before. "Haven't seen you in awhile. It has been a year? I guess? Feel at home, Minsoo" I just nodded and went to the bathroom.

I roamed around the day care. It still has those toys that the kids had been playing all day. They are still scattered around. Seems like these toys are still waiting to be played with. I went inside a room. I removed my shoes before coming in. I looked at the toys. As a memory emerges, a hint of a smile was visible on my lips. I saw, on a corner, a box. i quickly made my way towards it. It was a box full of puzzles. "Ahh! I miss these!" I emptied the box and started completing the puzzle.

As I was about tp finish the puzzle, my smile grew bigger and bigger. "Ahyoung-ah, I beated you agai—" I stopped half-way. Not finishing my sentence when I remembered that I was alone. That I am alone.

I left the puzzle unfinished. I didn't intended to, it just happened that there was a missing piece. Without that piece, the puzzle seemed empty. It was empty.

I walk towards the drawers. Above the drawers, there was a board. Full of pictures. I then saw my picture. I touched it. You seemed so happy. I looked so happy. I was happy. I was....

I tried opening the drawers. I might see some things that could help me kill some time while waiting. Waiting for the rain to stop. Waiting.

It was a gloomy afternoon. It was raining. Adding the noise of these little children. A person might get really annoyed but not me. "Hyung, what are you thinking?" A little boy approached me. "It's nothing, Minguk." I carried Minguk and started to play with him. "Let's play with the cooking thingy." I went to play with Minguk. Pretending that we were a five star chef. Pretending we were good at cooking. I really don't know anything that is concerned with cooking. "Waaah! Hyung! Look" Minguk was pointing outside the window. "It's sunny again!" He started jumping. "Oh! It seems so!" I ruffled his thin hair. "Let's go outside!" I stopped him from going out. "Why Hyung?" He asked innocently. "Before that, let's take a picture with your Noona. Uh?"

"Yeah! Let's do that. And we would place it there." He pointed a board. It was full of pictures. Mostly of the students in the day care.

"You are really good at taking care of kids, Minsoo-yah" She said as she was lookig at our picture. "Minguk is really fond of you."

"I am too, I should take care of our future kids better"

"Yeah... I guess?"

Our memories that I secretly put in my drawer

I take them out and reminisce again by myself

I sigh. Why does everything? Everywhere? Reminds me of you? Why does it hurt so much?

Why didn’t I know about the weight of sadness that comes with breaking up?

Why didn't know? Why didn't I had a clue that I would be hurt these badly?

"Why am I listening to this kind of music?" I muttered when I realized that I was listening to a sad song. It might have triggered of how I felt l, right now.

 

IF YOU

IF YOU

If it’s not too late

Can’t we get back together?

 

I stopped the music. Went out of the day care. I didn't care if it is still raining. "Minsoo! Why are you— Are you okay?" I heard Hyosung Noona called me but I just ignored her and started running away. If I could just run away from this feeling.

I stopped running. I started to walk again. I know that running won't do anything. At a corner I saw myself, walking around. Like what I am doing right now, except, I can't bear this walk any longer. I used to love this long walks. I used to.

I was there. Happy. Smiling. Waiting for you. Waiting in the corner we first saw each other. I am still waiting at that corner except that I no longer have anyone to wait for.

I then remember that day. That day you broke up with me. Here on the street where we first met. Where we always meet.

"I can't do this any longer" was her greeting to me. I was overwhelmed with your words. At first, I thought it would be like it has always been. Break up then made up. I was wrong. I realized it too late that you were leaving me. That it was a real break up.

I thought that I was fine. I thought I was doing well. I just thought I was. I was never fine. Never. When you left.

Everyday, as I walk by, I still wish you would change your mind. A year had passed by but still my heart won't stop aching. My heart won't stop crying.

Every night, I am afraid to close my eyes because I know that when I wake up, you are not mine anymore. I know that I could live without you but I felt miserable without you. I am still wondering how I survived a whole year without you.

Everytime I see you, with your bright smile, it makes me happy. Truthfully, I am happy that you are happy but at the same time I am pained that I am not the reason of your smiles anymore. What can I do without you anymore?

Why does it hurt like this? Why am I the only one who is hurt? Am I the only one who loved you? Am I the only one who loved the most? I guessed I did really loved you.

And again, I stood on the corner and waited for you.

I dialed your number. "I can't let you go... if you still feel the same, can we start all over again? Please... Ahyoung, don't tell me no"

 

 

 

 

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I felt heavy writing this. Idk, it is not that sad, I guess? But I felt really heavy. Idk maybe because of what I am watching. Lol (I was watching PBB (it is a show in the Philippines) and my fave housemate got evicted 💔) But I hoped you like this guysssss~ I was overwhelmed by the comments of people who are waiting for these~~~` Thank you guysss~ I love you :*

 

-B