[CONTENTID1]BEFORE I LET YOU GO[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]

I can still remember yesterday

We were so inlove in a special way

Knowing that you love me 

Made me feel oh so right

We were so happy then, I felt like it was us against the whole world, that you would be my partner for the rest of my life, that finally I found the one. Our stolen moments infront of the camera had my heart fluttering and secretely holding your hand made me feel like I've conquered everything. At night, I lay beside you and embrace you until you fall asleep. You once question me why do I still have to watch you sleep first and all I said is that I want to fight all your demons away so you will have a peceful night. I still wish to see that smile you've given me when I answered you. 

But I failed to chase all your demons away.

But now I feel lost

Don't know what to do

Each and everday I think of you

Holding back the tears

I'm trying with all my might 

It's been 3 years, 4 months and 8 days since you walk out the door. I will never forget that day, the betrayed look upon your face, your tear-stained cheeks, your pursed lips and your hands holding all your luggages. Until this day, I still don't know whose fault it is. Is it the company's, is it your's? Prabably it's mine.

I just sat on the couch, holding a cup of untouched coffee, staring on your hands and wishing you would drop your bags and sit by my side, whisper on my ears that you will not leave me, that you love me enough to stay. Yet you just pursed your lips and slowly approached the door, slowly walking out on us, on our relationship. 

At first I blamed you, that we would still be alright if you swallowed your pride and turned blind to all these. Every moment that I remember you, I cannot help not clench my fists and punch anything. I was so grateful that Changmin was patient and understanding during my darkest moment. I cannot believe that he stayed beside me to support and somehow save my face among our fans. Slowly, days of you being away turned into months and somehow in the back of my mind, it was probably the company who pushed you on the edge to walk out. I started to turn cold to everyone in the company, skipping schedules and even getting heavily drunk. Jihye somehow managed to pull me out of that habit, saying that you would totally be disappointed seeing me like that. Months turned into years and I can't help wanting to know why you gave up, why was I left holding on alone, struggling to keep us together? Probably it was my fault, maybe I was a coward, maybe at some point you were right that we would have flourished outside the company,