“I'm going now.”

Krystal could only nod in acknowledgement. She turned the page to the magazine she was skimming, the crown of her head was given a chaste kiss before the rolling of a luggage followed by the clicking of heels left.

Lowering the magazine onto her lap, Krystal's head lolled back over the couch's headrest. The apartment was empty, the television the only sound keeping the place alive. Sighing, Krystal turns her body on the couch, lifting her legs onto the cushion. Was this it? Was this what it's going to be like for the rest of her life?

She was tired, bored. Nothing seemed bright or engaging in life anymore to her. Her phone vibrates next to her, she drags her eyes from the closed apartment door to the flashing name on her phone's screen.

“Hello?”

“She leave yet?”

“Yeah, she just left.”

–

Krystal didn't know what she was doing here. The diner was just on the outskirt of the city, a place she knows no one would recognise her. Staring out the window, she absentmindedly plays with the silver ring on her finger.

“Hey,” the deep voice causes Krystal to slip the ring off her finger, sliding it into her pocket.

“Hey,” she replies.

“How long this time?”

“About two weeks or so,” two cups of coffee are placed on the table between the two.

A charming smile is thrown her way in which she returns with a lacklustre one.

The dinner was going well, her companion brightening her mood as the night ticked by. Excused to going to the bathroom, Krystal sits there stirring her newly ordered coffee.

“You don't like coffee.”

The statement catches Krystal's attention. Letting go of the spoon, she looks up to see a blonde girl looking at her from the booth in front of her. It may be shock or the long night, but Krystal could swear that the girl in front of her was Taeyeon, a younger version but just exact.

“Taeyeon?”

“You don't like coffee,” the girl states again.

“What are you doing here?” Krystal fumbles for the ring in her pocket.

“If you don't like it, why do you let him choose it for you?”

The girl tilts her head, in a manner Krystal knows to show confusion.

“Hey, you want to head out now?”

A large hand squeezes at her shoulder, making her turn her head. She can tell he's staring at the ring now sitting snuggly on her finger, but she doesn't care, turning her head back to the booth.

Taeyeon was gone, but the panic in Krystal stays.

–

“What are you doing, Krys?”

The anger in her sister's voice only made her feel worse. Her tears wouldn't stop falling accompanied by hiccups.

“I-I don't know, Jessie,” she responded into her phone.

“How could you lose it?”

“It-I swear I had it when I got back.”

“You shouldn't have gone to begin with. I don't understand why you still go when you have Taeyeon.”

“She's gone!”

Krystal wailed, from frustration of losing her precious ring or from the actual lack of presence from the girl, which one it was, she couldn't decide at the moment.

“For a business trip, Krystal! She didn't pack her bags and leave you, she packed a small luggage with barely a quarter of her possessions. Krystal, I really don't understand your doings. Do you love her?”

Krystal slithers down the headboard of her king sized bed. Lying on the right side of the bed, she hugs a pillow to her chest, “Of course I do.”

“Then why?”

“I don't know,” she pulls the cover over her body.

“You should, or you wouldn't be doing what you're doing now. You know what, how 'bout I call Taeyeon and tell her what you've been up to whilst she's out there, in a foreign country, making money for the both of you.”

The rustling coming from the other side of the phone has Krystal up and alert.

“No, Jessie, please don't!”

“Why shouldn't I?! Krystal, you're my sister, and I love you. But Taeyeon deserves better.”

“This is the last time, I swear.”

“You said that last time.”

Krystal racks her brain around losing Taeyeon, when a sigh comes from her sister, “What do you want me to do?”

“Be behind me in my decisions.”

“I can't, not anymore.”

The line cuts and Krystal's left in silence again.

“You should really lock your doors.”

Looking up from her phone, Krystal wipes her blurry eyes to see the blonde Taeyeon again. The girl was shorter, making Krystal smile through her tears. The girl leaning on her doorframe reminded her of the Taeyeon she became infatuated with during high school.

“I don't see what's so funny?”

The Taeyeon she had first met was known as the tough girl in her school, danger and wild exuded from her very presence. The retro clothing and make up the girl in front of her donned was exactly what teenager Taeyeon would have worn.

Krystal pat her bed, using the best of her delusional  mind's tricks as she could. “Come here, let me get a good look at you.”

The girl only scoffed, a scowl sneering on her upper lip before she turns away from Krystal with disgust.

“Taeyeon?”

Krystal is on her feet, chasing Taeyeon's footsteps.

“Hey, where are you going?”

Krystal's bare feet slide to a stop as she's puffing from her run. Taeyeon already has the door open, ready to leave.

“Away from a square like you.”

Quickly grabbing her keys, Krystal slips on the sneakers at the bottom of the rack, before closing the door, giving chase again to the disappearing teenager. She doesn't know what she's doing. Why is she even chasing her imagination? She feels silly, like she's a teenager again.

“Stop following me, nerd,” Taeyeon speaks before grabbing a hold of the gate in front of her.

Krystal watches, just like she used to, as Taeyeon climbs over the school gates. Taeyeon was her puppy love, turn to high school sweet heart, college lovers, and now, well, she doesn't know what they are now. The girl used to bring her such thrill that at one stage in her life all she did was breathe, eat, drink, think and live Taeyeon.

In her sleeping shorts and tank top, Krystal throws her keys over the gate, climbing the gates after her. She fumbles for her keys in the dark, pressing down on her small torch for the missing girl.

She trains her eyes over the vast open field, searching behind trees for the girl, but no luck.

“Taeyeon!”

She has no reason to continue the wild goose search, but for the girl herself, she runs around the field. A warm hand falls over , arm pulling at her waist into their body.

“Would you shut up before you get us in trouble,” a hiss is breathed into her ear.

Krystal's heart stops hammering, falling to a peaceful, steady beat as she falls into the girl's hold.

“Why are you following me?”

Taeyeon had let go of her, standing a good distance away from Krystal's dishevelled self.

“I-because I want to.”

“Oh, really now? You actually want to take precious time out of your busy life to follow me, now?” A and match box is pulled from the girl's leather jacket.

“Smoking is bad for you,” Krystal lectures.

“Oh, stop it you old bag, you're not going to change me,” Taeyeon lifts her shaped eyebrow at Krystal before lighting up the end of her cigarette.

But Krystal did. After a year she had stopped Taeyeon's addiction. The girl stopped smoking for her, Taeyeon changed herself for Krystal. She never really realised.

The girl pulls on her choker as she coughs out the puff of smoke. Krystal is by her side before she knows it, taking the choker off and patting her back.

“Get off me,” the choker is ripped out of her hand then her hand it swatted away before Taeyeon walks off.

Krystal spent what felt like hours, but she couldn't find Taeyeon. Calling it a night, she jumps the fence and heads home.

–

“So, any word from Taeyeon?”

She is surrounded by her friends at their usual cafe.

“No, Sunny,” Krystal stares at her tea.

“Maybe she's busy, or jet lagged,” her hand is given a pat before Sunny leaves to buy cupcakes at the counter.

“When did you ever care if she contacts you or not?”

Harsh reality is always beaten into her by her friend, Sooyoung. She was Taeyeon's roommate in college, someone who had to clean up both their mess during that period in their life together.

“Really, Sooyoung?”

“I'm just telling it as it is, Boa.”

“Come on, I'll go buy you a cake to help you from being such a stick in the mud,” Boa grabs Sooyoung's arm, pulling her from her seat.

The choker is gone this time, makeup less heavy. Sitting on the table parallel to her is Taeyeon with an ice-cream cone. Grabbing her hot tea, Krystal shifts to sit beside the quiet girl.

“What are you doing here?”

“Why can't I be here,” Taeyeon continues to eat her ice cream.

“You never really liked the cafe scene,” Krystal could see the small changes from the Taeyeon she saw last time.

Her hair wasn't a harshly dyed blonde, it looked softer to touch now. After high school, Krystal became the person to dye Taeyeon's hair, giving the girl hair products to keep it healthy. Her makeup had been thrown out by her too, Krystal opting to take her shopping in every store she hated.

Taeyeon looked less of a punk rock girl, thanks to Krystal.

“Things change,” the girl shrugged.

Without thinking, Krystal began slightly the back of Taeyeon's hand. She remembered their petty argument over Taeyeon wanting a tattoo. Krystal had caught her walking into a tattoo parlour, only to exit with her ear in between Krystal's metal gripped fingers.

Krystal traced the cursive writing of her name, followed by the swirls of floral designs she thought were cute years ago. The henna on Taeyeon's hand was their deal. If Taeyeon could live with that henna for a week, then Krystal would let her do whatever she wanted, tattoo wise that was.

A nostalgic smile graced Krystal's lips as she continued to trace the henna, Taeyeon didn't seem to mind at all. She remembered that week. Taeyeon was hassled on by some of the groups she associated with. But Taeyeon didn't fight, maybe because Krystal had stopped that bad habit in high school, instead she showed it off. She wore Krystal's name like a medal, proud to leave it to be seen by the entire campus.

“Hey Krystal, you alright?”

Turning towards Sunny's voice, Krystal blinked away her memories before turning back to Taeyeon, or where Taeyeon once was.

“Um, yeah, I'm okay.”

–

“Thanks a heap, Krystal! I'll be back in an hour!”

Leash in hand and friend already driving off, Krystal was left dog sitting. Not wanting the small fluff ball to destroy the furniture, Krystal grabbed her shades and keys, deciding on walking the dog for an hour to clear her mind.

She wasn't that fond of animals, however cute and small they may be. They were just another mouth to feed, something just less of having a baby but annoying just as such. She didn't have any direction in mind, so she let the dog wander on its own, dragging her along.

Taeyeon had always wanted a puppy. In complete contrast to her, Taeyeon loved animals. It was a few months after they moved in together when Taeyeon brought up the topic. Sharing a dog together was something Krystal never thought about.

Puppies were high maintenance, something Krystal wasn't ready for. They had fought, made up, but Krystal knows it always stuck with Taeyeon.

Her friends said she was being slightly petty. The biggest, honest statement came from none other than Sooyoung, of course.

“It shows you're too scared to commit.”

Krystal found that statement ridiculous. She was committed to Taeyeon. She had moved in with her, how is that not committed if not just that?

The dog issue was never brought up again, but she has seen many pictures of Taeyeon with their friends' pets.

She loved animals, if only Krystal could change for Taeyeon.

Maybe it was the animal's calling in the dog, but Krystal found herself led to a pet shop. The dog sniffed and pawed at the window, displaying the energy bounded pups.

“Cute, aren't they?”

Looking down at the question, Krystal found a brown headed girl squatting at the window.

“Yeah, they are.”

“Then why don't you want one?” Turning away from the window, Krystal was presented with yet again, another Taeyeon. “Or is it just me?”

“Taeyeon, please, not the dog topic again.”

A tired sigh leaves the girl, before she taps on the window, standing up then leaving.

Taeyeon never wore anything out of the ordinary mid college years. She never smoked, spoke aggressively nor got into fights anymore. Taeyeon became slightly timid, quiet, and just not herself.

Krystal watches Taeyeon's disappearing back, eaten by the crowd. Did she do this to Taeyeon? Was she the only one tired in this relationship?

With a bark, Krystal looked back at the puppies in the window.

Did she change Taeyeon too much?

–

Three weeks was up and Krystal was fidgeting in her skin. The time ticked but the door never opened. It was dark and she was beginning to worry. Where was the girl?

With what sounded like a small hiccup following right after the turn of the front door, Krystal raced the trip hazard to the door.

“Hey, Krystal? I found this in our mail box. It's stamped with some random diner's name.”

Taeyeon was shocked, but who wouldn't be when a body collides into your own whilst your ankles are being nibbled on.

“Welcome home,” Krystal burrows her head into Taeyeon's neck, breathing in the scent she had the life out of the lonesome pillow.

“Hey, missed me?”

Krystal chuckles into Taeyeon's neck as her waist is squeezed.

“And who is this little bundle of fur?”

Taeyeon drops her hold on Krystal's waist to loosely hold her hand as she squats down.

“I got her at the shelter,” Krystal smiles as Taeyeon laughs at the puppy her palm.

She stares at the fingers interlaced with her own, the glimmering ring reminding her of her deeds. She traces the outstretched hand, stopping at the wrist.

Taeyeon had decided to get a tattoo after all. But it wasn't some random skull, but instead, Krystal's name and same floral design tattooed onto her wrist.

Taeyeon had changed so much for her, and looking down on the smiling girl now, Krystal decided it was her time to change for Taeyeon.