I believed you...
Description
Drabble inspired by song, "Todokanu Tegami" by Diaura.
What do you do when your heart dies, but you keep breathing?
Foreword
By the time the snow in September colors this city,
I would not be likely to be there.
I would not be likely to be there.
I miss him. My bloodshot eyes remain wide open. I'm afraid that if I close them, I will see his face. The window appears to mock my pain, as it shows me the beautiful scenery. The snow falling slowly, making a mysterious paradise. He used to love snow. We would sometimes walk outside, he said that this way he would be the first to leave a footprint. I miss him so much. I just wish he was here to hold me close, and watch the ever ending snow.
As I spent the months,
My letters for you increased.
As this letter that can’t be sent.
You used to tell me how writing eased the pain. Everything that can't be said, could be written. How I miss the way your hands would glide across the paper. Those soft hands, that used to hold me at night. Now I know you will never come back. I have lost count of all the letters I have written for you. I know you will never receive them. It doesn't take the pain away, at least not anymore.
Though I looked for the answer in this darkness over and over again,
It can’t be found
It can’t be found
The room has no light, I can't stand to see that my 'our' room remains unchanged. I don't want to lose what little is left of you. Your messy clothes still lay in heaps at the "special corner", remember that our first kiss was there. Made it more ours you use to say. Your dorky glasses are still waiting for you in front of the television. Unfinished lyrics still lay in a messy folder. Our 'my' bed still smells like you. I lay awake every night, remembering your soft kisses, and gentle touches. It's not the same falling asleep hugging your pillow. It doesn't love me or protect me the way you did. As I scan the room for the thousandth time, I realize once again that I will not find the answer as to why you left.
If I could be a replacement of you,
I can instantly throw away everything though…
I wish I could replace you. You would be able to live on. I can't. You were my light and anchor. You were always a bright shining star. I know you would've been able to move on. You would've found someone else to love, you would've surely illuminated their world. I would give everything I own, because without you nothing matters. My life isn't the same. Our friends miss you so much. My body too weak to care, my mind too sad to care. They tell me to move on, but how can I? How can I? If my heart left with you.
You promised to never leave me. I believed in you...
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