But the other woman will always cry herself to sleep

The other woman will never have her love to keep

And as the years go by the other woman will spend her life alone, alone

***

Taeyeon POV

It’s been a long year. I don’t even want to know how and when did I manage to get a month long break.

The number must be good enough for them to graciously let me off for a month.

Everything excites me.  Of course, more than my pathetic life which consist of work, home and work again.

Lost but now I am found

I can see, but once I was blind

I was so confused as a little child

Trying to take what I could get

Scared that I couldn't find

All the answers honey

“Excuse me,” A dark hair woman smiling apologetically to me stops me from going.

“Yes?”

“Are you a Korean?”

“Yes?”

“Thank God. I think I’m lost.”

“Everyone who came here alone is always lost.” I mutter out of spite. She just looks at me with an unreadable expression.

“Sorry, you hear that. I was just,” I trail off without finishing my word. “Well, where are you heading anyway? I might know the place.”

“Imperial Homestay.”

Life couldn’t get any worse. It was already awkward for her to hear my thoughts out loud. Now we’re staying in the same place. This is just great.

“Well, come with me. I’ll take you there.”

The whole 15 minute journey was filled with awkward silence. I breathe out in relief when the small house on top of the hill came into my view.

“We’re here.”

She just nods. I walk ahead of her and went straight to my room leaving her with the friendly owner, a lady in her late fifties.

After a few hours nap, I walk out only to be met with the back of the woman and the house owner preparing dinner.

“You’re up, just in time for dinner.” The elderly lady who graciously asks to be called Adele smile widely at me. “Tiffany here, kindly helps me to prepare for our dinner.”

“It’s nothing, Adele. I barely do anything.” She waves her off.

I just kept on staring at her before taking my seat at the table.

If she felt uncomfortable with my indiscreet stares, she doesn’t show it. Instead, she just calmly places our dinner on the table.

“I heard from Tiffany, you kindly bring her here after she got confused with the signboard down the hill.” Adele brings up our meeting after a few random talks.

“Yeah, I was enjoying the tulip farm view when she appears.” I didn’t mean to sound sarcastic, but her coming did disturb my pathetic self-pity disguise as common awe at the breathtaking view.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers faintly.

“I’m just kidding.” I finally smile a little. Her sorry face causes me a momentarily panic.

 Adele laughs at my silly predicament.

“You two young ladies are really interesting. I do hope you both enjoy the view on your month off.” I look at Tiffany in surprise. It is an interesting coincidence to know her also a month off. “I decide to take only you two in my homestay this whole month. So enjoy and do call me if you need anything. I’m going to turn early.”

She smiles before washing her dish and went to her room, leaving the two of us in awkwardness.

“I didn’t get to introduce myself properly,” She smiles to me and extend her hand. “I’m Tiffany and I’ll be your homestay mate for a month.”

I was a little late to take her hand as my focus was completely directed to her beautiful smile.

“Taeyeon.” I manage to murmur out my name.

“Sorry for disturbing you just now,” She apologizes again.

“It’s cool.” I smile a little. “I was just kidding.”

She smiles in relief. We fall into silence again.

“I’m still jet lagged,” She rub her nape hesitantly, “I’m going to head into the dreamland.”

I chuckled.

“Don’t mind me. Have a nice rest.”

I smile to myself as I watch her dragging her feet in obvious tiredness.

***

I lay under the big tree in the middle of the tulip farm, quietly enjoying the clear sky.

The weather being really nice to me, I guess. It wasn’t too cold or too hot. My mind wanders aimlessly between my life and towards the strange occupant of the room next to mine.

We’ve been here almost a week. She was strangely somber. The interaction we have consisted of random talk of the view, Adele, drinks, book and strangely life but never reach to our personal life. I guess it's safe to say we’re comfortable enough to sit side to side, but not enough to talk about our personal life.

She is strangely a soothing company.

“Hey,” A rustle in the grass beside me indicate her presence.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Seriously? You’ve been here for almost two hours.”

“Seriously, nothing. I just like the peace and sound of nature.”

“Poetic,” She mocks teasingly.

I playfully slap her arms. She lied beside me and we fall into another comfortable silent.

“You know John Green?” She suddenly asks.

“John who?” I barely catch the name.

“You know the dude who wrote the cancer couple love story,” She looks at me like I came from the star.

“Okay,” I simply said waiting for her to finish her words.

“It was just some book I read on my flight. There this interesting word he says in the book ‘My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations’,” She looks up to the sky and sighs. “I wish I could voice out my thoughts eloquently.”

“Nobody is an expert on that.”

“I guess.” She shrugs and kept her silence.

“How was your escape so far?” She suddenly asks.

“Yeah, escape,” She let out a big sigh when she saw my confuse face, “People don’t just take a month off suddenly.”

“It’s nice,” I smile to myself understanding her question, “Strangely, it’s more breathable here.”

“I think the same too.”

“Whatever you are running away from, sooner or later you have to face it.”

“You too.”

“I know.”

We just lay there until the sun almost down with only the sound of nature accompanying us.

Come on take a walk on the wild side

Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain

You like your girls insane

Choose your last words, this is the last time

Cause you and I, we were born to die

***

I panted out of breath. Seriously, what did I get myself into? I look up only to see Tiffany smiling widely.

“I shouldn’t fall into your tricked,” I grumble.

“Hurried up, Taeyeon.” She bellowed ignoring my grumbling face.

I mumble a round of curse while trying to catch her pace.

When we reach the top of the hill, I was in a complete awe.

“Beautiful, isn’t it? I stumbled upon this a few days ago.” She giggles at my awe face. She turns to look at the grass hill with a breathtaking smile.

I was in a complete swooning mood.

Suddenly all my focus was on her. The way the wind swept her dark long silky hair, how her eyes curve into perfect crescent every time a smile grazes her face.

“You’re beautiful,” I curse myself mentally when my subconscious thought left my lips.

She laughs her husky laugh and reduces our distance.

“I think you’re beautiful too.”

 The next thing I knew,  her lip is on mine and my arm is around her neck, pulling her closer to me with her arm wraps neatly around my waist.

“I think I’m falling for you, stranger.” She whispers softly against my lips.

We got back hand in hand. Adele didn’t say anything except to smile to herself. We keep on stealing glances with each other as we help the middle aged lady in her kitchen.

“Ladies, I have some unfortunate news.” She said in a regretful tone.

“What is it?” Tiffany asks.

“I’ll have to leave you two alone for the rest of your stay. I’m afraid you have to fend for yourself. Regretfully, my youngest aunt is down with illness. She has no one except me.” She smiles sadly. “Don’t be wary, I’ll be back before you leave.”

“Do you need any help with the bills?” Tiffany held the lady hand in concern.

“Goodness no. We’re fine.”

“When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow. Mr. Cook will graciously deliver groceries to you both.”

“We’ll be fine here. I’m going to miss your cooking, though.” I stood up and wrap my arm around the older woman’s shoulder. “We hope your aunt will be okay.”

She squeezes my arm in gratefulness.

It was quiet. The journey to the main town until Adele left was filled with silence. We haven’t really talked about the kiss we shared on top of the hill.

I watch her driving Adele old car calmly with her hand sometimes holding mine.

“We’re here.”

I didn’t realize we already back in the house.

I got out without words. I was simply walking quietly towards the house feeling a little disappointed with her.

A pair of arm suddenly wraps around my petite body follow by a gentle kiss on my nape.

“Hey stranger.” She whispers nuzzling her face to my temple.

“Hey.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Hmm.”

“You do realize we have the whole house to us only for the rest of our vacation.”

I gasp at her low voice near my ear. I turn around to face her only to have her lips on mine.

Time seems to stop.

We kiss, we make out. It’s our routine for the whole week.

“You’ve never told me what you do for a living?” She suddenly asks out of nowhere. I lay in her arm with her sometimes kissing the top of my head.

“I paint.”

“An artist? Freelance?” She sounded thoughtful.

“Nope. That’s why I’m here.”

“I thought artist work independently.” She said in confusion.

“I figure I don’t want to die of starvation. I enter a stupid art competition and landed a contract with an art exhibition company.” I rant with a sigh. “Here I am hunted with a deadline, but amazingly lucrative green paper return.”

“I see.” She my hair gently. “That explains your one month vacation.”

“Yeah, so how about you?”

“I’m that business people who hunt after you with a deadline.” She jokingly said.

“Really? I should make a devious plan to run away then.”

She laughs her musical laughter.

“That explains my one month break too. I’m tired of chasing people and acting fake.” She sighs and hugs me tighter. “I wish we could do this forever.”

“What?” I can feel my heart flutter at her words. It’s dangerous for me.

“You’re in my arms just enjoying the view and the nature.” Another kiss landed on top of my head.

Loving you forever, can't be wrong

One more week and we’re back to real life. I wish this would never end.

Sleeping in her arms had been a routine for me. It felt right. I feel like I belong in her arms and she belong in mine, but somewhere in the back of my mind, there is fear that this is too good to be true.

I accidently let out a sigh.

She stirs a little before realizing my wide eyes staring at her.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Why are you awake?”

“I like to be creepy and watch you sleeping.”

Like music to my ear, her laughter fills the night.

“Seriously? I never met an artist like you.”

“I’m just awesome.” I rolled my eyes and smiles dorkily.

“Dork.”

She moves a little and lays her head in the crook of my neck, pulling my arm to wrap around her. I look at her and indescribable feeling fill my whole body.

“I love you.”  I whisper to her.

No movement, no reply from her except a hitch in her calm breath.

“I don’t know how and why, but in the span of three weeks, I find myself falling in love with you.”

Only the rustling of sheet reverberated in the dark, quiet room. She hovers on top of me with lit up eye.

Rain of kisses all over me, detached me away from my rationale. It was a pure bliss.

Her gentle touch carries me to a heaven of pleasure. Hesitation and fear of giving myself completely to someone left me completely as I give myself fully to her.

Only the sound of panted breath resonated throughout the room as we come down from a wave of blissful pleasure.

And there's no remedy

For memory

Your face is like a melody,

It won't leave my head

Your soul is haunting me

And telling me

That everything is fine

But I wish I was dead

***

“I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

I took out the thing I have hidden in my whole vacation here. I pick up the charcoal pencil and started to draw the creature lying on my bed, bare- only covered with a white sheet. I’m not even painting; I went back to basic and capture her beauty from scratch.

Frankly, there is no perfect brush and pencil that able to translate her beauty.

Even I am unable to capture her completely.

In the end, I was left with a raw drawing of her sleeping peacefully on the bed.

“Taeyeon?” Her hand reaches out to search for me beside her.

Tucking away the drawing into one of the empty tube, I went to her side.

“You’re awake?”

She blinks a few times before smiling radiantly to me.

“Yes,” She pulls me in her arm, gently brushing her arm on my back.

“Do you have a good night sleep?”

“Yes.”

“Is this happiness?”

She laughs at my question.

“I’m going to take the privileged on quoting John Green again ‘I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things.’” She laughs again. “So the answer is yes. This is happiness, a pure happiness.”

 “I think John Green should sue you over plagiarism.” I said with a deadpan expression and with that she chortled into another round of laughter.

***

“You don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life but your own. And when you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can’t be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life. Everything. . . affects everything.”

― Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why

“What a time is. She screws everybody.” I heard she mutters in sadness.

“Another plagiarizing quote, Miss Hwang?” I ask her. I have taken the liberty to read her copy of The Fault in our Star after hearing her randomly quoting the book.

“It’s almost time to leave.” She looks at me in anguish.

“Will I be able to see you again?” A nagging thought keeps on egging me. Every time she looks at me, there are hidden sadness and fear.

Every whisper of love trails on to deep thought and a hint of guilt.

Silent met my question.

She looks at me with a pained expression.

“I have something to confess and I understand if you are going to hate me for this.”

I close my eyes and nods.

“Kim Taeyeon,” She huffs out another sigh. “You’re driving me crazy and I wish so badly that I can make you mine forever.”

I felt her kneeling in front of me, gently cupping my face in her hand.

“I’m a bad person. I fall in love with you and in my selfishness I took all of you.” Her voice trembles. “Remember I told you that I’m escaping from my job and from being faked. It’s not just my job I’m running away from I’m also running away from my life.” She pauses and took a deep breath. “I have a wife waiting for me in Seoul.”

I stood up and tried to push her away from me.

“Please, don’t leave.” She held me in her arm tightly, refusing to let me go. “It wasn’t a happy marriage. She is trying to salvage our marriage. A marriage I was forced to be in. I can’t go back like this, not when I finally found the one I wanted.”

“I can’t.”

I was beyond hurt. Disappointment, hatred, sadness, anger and love mix into one.

“Please, I love you.”

She kisses me fervently in a bid to make me stay and I let myself drown in her touch.

The next morning I left without a word.

***

“You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

I need a break from brainstorming "Dark Side"

By the way, Taeyeon's new album slay! Give me the best birthday gift ever. I wake up early in the morning not to check birthday wishes text messages but to download her new album lols.

Anyway enjoy!