Title: Blackholes and Revelations

Notes: Originally posted on Minyoon Fix Exchange

Rating: R for Mature Themes and Language

Pairings: Minyoon (Mino/Seungyoon), Seungyoon-centric

Genre: AU, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Slice of Life.

Prompt: based on the suicides by sofia coppola + inspired by from the corner of his eye by dean koontz.

Trigger warnings[!!]: Descriptions of suicide attempts and self-harm, depression, panic attacks, homophobia and it might possibly cause an existential crisis.

Preview

Chaos and the butterfly effect.

Seungyoon remembers reading about it during one of his summers in Busan. The astonishing idea fascinated his fourteen year old self. An idea that the small shifts-- tiny ones, that seems irrelevant and insignificant to the grander scale in life, are the ones that set the world to chaos. A small flap of a butterfly’s wing could trigger a typhoon at the other side of the world. A slight change in choice, perspective or emotion might just cause a massive alteration of your future. The wrong choice in one’s words or actions might trigger a distant war for generations to come.

For Seungyoon, he remembers a time back when his two best friends still came over to his house every weekend to play a new video game. He remembers a time when the world was still beautiful and filled with hopes and imagination. He remembers a time when he loved to be alive.

That all changed, because of a single cup of coffee.

/ / /

Seungyoon prefered green open spaces, soft rivers and the placid rain. He loved music that strummed softly, vocals that were easing to the ear. He loved sunshine from above that shone through his curtains and into his room. Take away the harsh music, keep the vodka off the shot glass. Take away the maddening crowd and the loud ringing of reality pressed against his ear. Seungyoon prefers to live a life without the worries of the world to hold him down. A fantasyland where he doesn’t need any wings to fly, just lungfuls of fresh air to replace a love he once longed to receive, burst out of his aching soul. Seungyoon lives in a three storey house, he eats the meals that is prepared by the housekeeper and he goes to his bedroom by 10.P.M. He swallows two sleeping pills to numb the dark thoughts before he dozes off into slumber.

Everything he says or does becomes a mask. But each lie he spurts out gives Mino a clue to the real him, the Seungyoon hiding behind his textbooks and stoic expression. Mino notices, that Seungyoon smirks at childish poop jokes in the middle of biology class, he has a collection of novelty band-aids and he loves video games. He sees a spark in Seungyoon’s eyes when Mino talks about them with his friends. Seungyoon has a fragile mind and heart, which had built its own defensive world, protecting himself from the painful world.

Mino on the other hand was like a hurricane.

The booming bass, the energy from the crowd, the heat from the crowd of people pressed against each other, he feeds on all of it. He craves the energy, absorbing it all in. The spotlights come on, one at the time. The lights are so blindingly harsh it makes his eyes water. As if there were a thousand volts connected to his veins, he spits out the first verse and it sparks the first spark. It builds and builds, and it’s like he’s made of fire. The screams fuel his thirst for more, and his voice echoes through his ears.

He engaged everyone in a friendly banter. Always the heart of the conversation, such a natural at socializing. Seungyoon had always envied him. Everyone loved to talk to him and wanted to be friends with him. His weekends are full of parties, invitations flooding him heavier than the November rain. No awkward silences, no misspoken words. Mino goes to sleep at 1.A.M, the earliest. His meals consisted of ramen cup noodles and his beloved mom’s cooking if he ever goes home early enough. He scrolls through his twitter feed before he falls asleep.

Seungyoon could never really understand why Mino wanted to talk to someone like him. It was as if they had belonged to two different worlds.

A/N: this fic has a lot of my own personal thoughts and feelings about life and the reason for our existance. this fic took the longest time, from planning to writting, compared to my other works and it holds a special place in my own heart. so, i hope you like it. :)