Yoochun gets down from the car to his schedule for a flight to China today. It’s for a fanmeet there and his arrival welcomed by all his fans. As usual, rains of camera flashes and bunch of bodyguards filled his eye sight into everywhere. He can identify some of the faces he’s familiar with that always there when he or when he was with his other two members had an appearance in the airport. That’s why he uses the black glasses, makes him free to look everywhere he wants without having caught by his action and misinterprets by other people. Yes, he’s hiding behind the black screen, keeping his own thought and doing for himself.

“Yoochunnn!”

He enters the airport with the crowds that still don’t lessen any bit and all the bodyguards surrounding him close. He accustoms already with the hectic situation and now he’s good with hiding it by his poker face. Just like Jaejoong said, he’s like hiding everything for himself. He’ll keep the hurt, the pain, the discomfort far from everyone reach, just one people who can pass his wall. The person who can notice his bad mood. So far, only one.

Suddenly, his handphone’s vibrating on his pocket. He doesn’t know who is it, but he can barely guess. One of his closest that will worry for him, since long time ago. They are best friends, even until now. But that’s not what he only felt for this person. Yoochun felt more, he once loved him.

He presses the required button and immediately the familiar voice rang on his ear through the headset.

“CHUNN! You’re going today?”

As usual, the owner of this voice always cheerful and happy. That’s why he liked him. And that’s why he stops to like him now. “Easy Junsu. You want me to get deaf or what?”

“Hey! You didn’t tell me you’ll go! I thought we would meet on studio today.”

Yoochun can imagine a slight frown formed right now on the other. “And what will I get if I told you?”

“I thought we’re good friends.”

“Can go without that alright?” Yoochun likes to play with his mood. Junsu’s mood swing is amusing and sometimes he’s the one who get comforted by it while Junsu talking non-stop about his problem with his boyfriend or other things. No secrets between them, except one.

“Where are you going?”

“China.”

“Alone?”

“With manager hyung and some staffs.”

“Today fanmeet?”

“Tommorow.”

And then silence appears on the line. Yoochun waits, but no more voice.

“Junsu?”

“Chun?”

The voice seems unsure. “Why?” Did something happen?

“Are you upset?”

“What?”

“You. Is something upsetting you?”

There is something but he won’t ever say it. It will heal in no time. “Nothing.” He assures Junsu. Or more precise, he doesn’t need to know his problem. “I’ll tell you if there’s something, right?”

“Really?”

Something is off. It’s not like Junsu who’ll dig up this kind of thing. “Nothing’s wrong with me Junsu. It’s you that’s something wrong.” Junsu isn’t a sharp person to begin with. And what’s happen with him now?

“Emmm…”

“Something you’ve keep in secret?”

“Actually…”

“What?” Yoochun feels impatient with Junsu’s hesitation.

“Changmin’s here.”

Changmin? “And bet those are his question, not you.”

“He asked me to!” Yoochun can imagine a cute pout from the whining sound.

“I’m alright. I’m okay. Tell him that.”

A brief pause and then Yoochun hears the other familiar voice. “Are you really okay hyung?”

“I’m okay Minnie mouse, what should I say to convince you?”

“Please, not from you with that nickname.”

“I heard it from Junsu. He called you that.”

“It’s him. He can call me anything he wants.”

Yoochun can hear like from afar, an exciting voice from the other line. It must be Junsu’s, hearing Changmin said the before statement must be triggering his creative side of his brain and starts to make any possible nickname for Changmin.

“Hyung, you really..”

Yoochun chuckles lowly. “Why? I want to give Junsu something.” His playful side is always when he’s with his two dongsaengs. For a moment, it makes Yoochun forget about every of his bad things.

“Hyung..”

Changmin’s low and serious voice alerts his feeling. “I’m fine. You don’t have to worry.” Since before, Changmin can always read him for good. He can always notice something is wrong. But right now is not the time Changmin should know.

“With Jae-hyung?”

“Jae? What’s with him?”

“Have a fight?”

“We’re not the two of you Minnie mo-“

“He doesn’t call you or what?”

Changmin’s irritate tone from his playful remark is his secret hobby. Plus with Junsu’s. Just blame his dorky happy side. He loves both of them. He adores both of them.  He can’t let them get hurt or anything. They smile, so Yoochun. He satisfies with their relation right now. Changmin with Junsu, both clearly loves each other. He doesn’t want to break their happiness. He’s happy enough when they’re happy.

“He’s good Min. He won’t even let me to stay sad for one second if you know him so well.”

“You’re right.”

Jaejoong is his soulmate, his super best friend, the one who can understand him the most, the one who understand his gloomy heart every time it happened, the one who give him comfort and love. One of his most precious person.

“So, I’m okay. You don’t have to worry.”

“Too late. I’ve called Jae-hyung five minutes ago.”

“Busy body.”

“He blackmails me with food. And you know me right?”

Food? Changmin, you can lie better. Food is not the only weakness that you’ll pay attention so much. Must be something with Junsu in the offer. But, as its Changmin, who will never show his weakness to anybody unnecessarily…. Well, never mind. Even you say anything to him, he will never admit about the Junsu part, but that’s the fact. “You’re with Junsu now?”

“Just because he said he’s lonely that you and Jae-hyung are spending more time together than with him.”

Once again, a distant voice of protest heard from the phone. It is indeed Junsu’s unique voice.

“Stop annoyed him Changmin.”

“I’m not!” His dongsaeng’s childish protest just will make Junsu feels more irritate, Yoochun can barely guess what will happen in a moment. “Yah! Junsu! You won’t dare to do that.” Changmin, once again, shouts over the phone, looks like he tries to stop Junsu for doing something.

“What is he doing?”

“Aishhh. Hyung, it because of you!”

“What?!”

“Junsu! Don’t call Yunho hyung! He’s on a date!”

Ah, that’s why. Yoochun smiles mildly as he sits down on the lounge.

“Why do you have to share those secret with him?!” Rain of complaints is still pouring from Changmin on the line. “Hang up, need to punish that naughty dolphin. Bye.” Click.

Yoochun can only stunned with how fast Changmin hung up and then looks at the phone. Yeah, Changmin will be busy with Junsu. And for the secrets he spilled to Junsu, just a little play so that Junsu can sometimes win from the manknae.  Not that he siding with Junsu, but yeah, he can’t keep secret longer with him, except for the things that will make Junsu unhappy. Or burdened. Or.. anything that will make the rainbow gone from Junsu, included his old feelings.

His phone vibrated one more time. Yoochun picks it up on the third vibration when he knows exactly this particular man will call him in no time. And because, Changmin already informed him. Bet this worry wart can’t stay in peace not to hear anything to assure him.

“Hey..” Yoochun carefully answers, not to show unnecessary feeling that will lead the caller to feel worry.

“Hey mousey..”

“What’s up Jae?”

“Where are you? Lounge?”

“Be going in 20 minutes.”

“Video call. Hang up.” Click.

Twice. Why do people like to hang up on him? Changmin, and now Jae?

Seconds after that, his phone vibrate again and a request for a video call appears on the screen. He slides the necessary sign and then the beautiful face of his boyfriend shows up on the screen.

“Hey again..”

“Something bother you?” Typically Jaejoong, shoots the main problem right away. The quality he won’t ever have. Better keep it for himself rather than say it out loud.

“Nothing. Changmin just exaggerations small things. No big deal.”

“Do you know you’re such a bad liar when it comes to me?”

“I’m alright Jae. You-“

“You still keep everything from me. You still hide it Chun.”

Jaejoong is the only one he can never deceive. He can easily sense when he’s hiding secret. Is he had some kind of power to read his mind? “I’m not Jae. I promised.”

“You promised but you never keep that promise in proper check.” He’s annoyed. Yoochun knows it.

“Are you angry?”

“No. What should I angry for?”

“Not being honest with you?”

Yoochun can only hear a low silent breath on his line.

“Sorry.” Yoochun mutters lowly. “I hurt you again, right?” Before Jaejoong gives back his answer, he confirms his own first.

“No you don’t. Just slightly ‘pang’ my trust on you for SHARING your hurt with me.” Yoochun can see how Jaejoong probably rolled his eyes.

“Told you, it’s unfair.”

“Nothing about you is ever fair.”

“Not with this matter Jae. It’s my matter.”

“Your matter is also mine.”

And Yoochun furrowed his eyes. “When do you become like this?”

“What do you mean ‘like this’?” This time Jaejoong’s black beautiful eyebrows curved in disagreement with each other too.

“Talking back at me? Making me guilty? And bet this will make me thinking about you for the whole flight until I landed in Japan and make an international call to make sure you’re not making chili balls for our neighborhood by saying it’s a little gift from me.”

“You did worse than that last time chun, you almost made poison.”

“I never told you to eat that.”

“I eat what you made, and I don’t like to share.”

“You stupid Jae.” Yoochun laughs hearing the possessive message of his boyfriend.

“And you too, imbecile Chun.”

Yoochun smiles softly and his voice, tells Jaejoong no more bitter taste on it. Now he’s the old Yoochun, the one that makes him fall in love.

“Should I made some desert and send it for Changmin?”

“No, thanks.”

“Or maybe chocolate cookie? I know he won’t ever say no.”

“Jaee..”

“Oh! Maybe I can made pudding. It’s Junsu’s favourite too!”

“Two people gonna kill me for sure because they WON’T suspect YOU for the reason.”

And then both laugh, Yoochun just returns into his usual cheerful smile.

“Hey.” The beautiful man on his phone screen called.

“Yes?”

“Glad to see you back.”

Showing his forever blinding smile, Yoochun can’t help to felt a little constrict on his chest. “Glad for having you, always.”

“I’m always here, waiting you home.”

Yoochun doesn’t need to be told twice. He already finding his lost home, the only place he can return to the warmth from people he loved so much. Where the most precious person waiting for his presence, where his being is so much wanted. Yoochun knows, he will reside fully into his new home. This will be his last time to waver from things parting him with Jaejoong. He may not forget his very first love. But he can’t help to loving more this incredible person as he is. He chose and it’s decided. It is him, his only home, his only place to stay.

“I’ll be back home.”

<3 <3 <3 

thank you for reading.. ;))