I wanted to write a story that reflects my life right now. I'm going through so many things right now, and hopefully this story inspires you to get your feet back up, because it's just a bad day, not a bad life. I colour-coded them for you guys so that you wouldn't get confused 

•You/Me - pink 

•Yoongi - green

•Joon - blue

•Sister - orange

 Nationaly exams are in October. From what I see so far, there's really nothing to worry about. Unless you haven't start studying for the past year, then you should be scribbling and skimming through your notes now. But I wasn't like that. I was a studious type, I started studying before everyone did. And now here I am, relaxing before I start on a quick revision. I sheepishly laughed at the text I received from my bestfriend, Yoongi. 'The other time I went to school early and I got scared by that stupid police standee ugh' 'No one was there so don't judge. ' 'BAHAHAHAHHAA YOONGI!!! I thought u were the idgaf type and u got scared by a standee?! Weirdo.' 'Speak for urself who believes in ghosts, Soyeon.' I shook my head and placed my phone aside. Time to start on Maths...ugh. "katalk!" I unlocked my phone, "message from ♡" it was from my boyfriend, Joon. 'What are you doing' Cold. All I get was cold messages, 'What are you doing' 'Hi' 'Goodmorning' 'Bye'. I've got into quite a number of relationships, so I know where this phase lies ; the breakup stage. At first, I was kind of scared and afraid, because Joon and I were a really strong couple ; we were together for 8 months and we really struggled to push our way through, and survive thick and thin. But at some point of time, I realised that, he should have a better life, rather than suffering with me here. Joon's also taking national exams, but different from mine. His one starts earlier, and I didn't want to disrupt his studies - because when it comes to graduation, he'd wouldn't know where to go. I knew I didn't want that to happen ; although he has tantrums and all, he's a really good and kind person inside. I want him to be successful. Well, for me, I already have a goal - to become someone in the Medical field. I worked so hard, from barely passing my primary school examinations, got into quite a notorious secondary school, but I worked so hard that I didn't want to give up. And I got miraculous results - first in everything. Now I'm finally in senior year. However, I had my flaws - I fall in love too easily. My heart's got stolen so easily. So easily that at one point of time people called me a . That was one the worst downfall of my life, 2 years ago, ; people hated me. I got good results, nice curves, a decent face and I stole the hearts of guys. Both, guys and girls despise me, alot. And now, this year, I'm going to meet my downfall again. 

 

 Yoongi was one of my best friends. The best of best friends. Yes, he is a guy. And when he first transferred to the school two years ago, he hated me as well. However we got really close because apparently he had to sit beside me at the end of the 2nd semester and I thought, 'This guy really isn't that bad afterall.' I admit, I had a couple of crushes on Yoongi from time to time, but I really cannot imagine how is life like for Yoongi and I in the future. And now he's considered a part of my family, because we help each other out and have no intimate feelings towards each other. Until that day. That day, he started friendship skinship. Of course, I didn't mind, but it bugs me whether or not its deliberately or accidentally. And whenever we talked, he had to look at my with those eyes. Now, I am a hope(less) romantic, and I seriously.. don't know. I got together with Joon 2 years later. And Joon seriously hates hates hates Yoongi alot. We often got into a really big fight because of Yoongi, but then made up again because we can't live without each other. Yoongi and I became very distant after this particular fight between Joon and I. I started small talks, but he would just give me a one or two word replies. Jinwon is Yoongi's bestfriend, and my seatmate a few years ago, so we were quite close. Usually if I'm pissed , I would go and talk and rant it out to him. At one point of time, I told him I would give up on Yoongi, and he's cold attitude towards me and I would never ever talk to him because I want to let Yoongi know how I felt. Jinwon advised me, alot. At last, I did ignore Yoongi's presence. However, that didn't last long. Yoongi talked to me as if nothing has happened between us. As if our friendship weren't at the edge of a plank. He was now happier and abit off. He wasn't like that. He was a idgaf type of guy. Moreover, he was closer to this girl, Haejin. He gave Haejin more skinship and it usually make me cringe alot, but. I felt something weird ; was it jealousy, or was it shock? I'll never know. But that didn't stop me from not knowing the truth, and I was a curious type. I decided to consult Jinwon. And. That. Was. The. Worst. Decision. I've. Ever. Made. I've gathered all my evidences the past night before I met Jinwon ; from Yoongi being so touchy, and him making my heart beat a little faster than before. I told Jiwon that I liked Yoongi. But it wasn't like that. My mind told me I liked Yoongi but my heart wanted me to stick with Joon. I admit, I sound like a flirt but trust me, I didnt' even control my heart anymore. Jinwon told me that Haejin and Yoongi were dating for about two months. And it broke my heart because of so many reasons - either I really liked him, or either because I was so angry that I was his bestfriend and he didn't even bother to tell me, to let me congratulate him and instead, ignore me, gave me cold replies for the past two months. My anger got out of the way; I ask for Jinwon's advice on how to both chase and move on. And that was the worst question I'd ever asked, because I have Joon. 

 

Months passed, I moved on from Yoongi and let everything flow back to normal. I was busy studying for my Prelims, when Yoongi katalked me, 'I'm sad.' Sad? Yoongi intially had no emotions at all. Maybe it's because of Haejin, I thought. Yoongi didn't know I knew about his relationship with Haejin, so I didn't bring it up, I didn't want to make it big. 'Why?' 'I'm sad' 'Sigh' I didn't know what to do. 'Sososososo sad' 'Your life is so much better than mine' 'I guess I have to reach that stage of acceptance' 'Very troubled' Yoongi seemed so deprived and I thought it's 88% maybe because of Haejin. I didn't bother asking him because i know that when he's ready, he'll tell me. And that he'll feel better if I talked to him. So I did. I tried my very best cheering him up and making him laugh but it didn't work. I was on the verge of giving up but I didn't want to because he means so much to me as a bestfriend. And it's totally not his style to become so depressed and cry.

 

 A month passed, Yoongi was recovering and I felt very satisfied. However, this month was also the start of my life, being in ruins. 27 more days to national exams, I said to myself. "katalk!" I checked my phone, it's from Joon. I admit, I was too caught up in helping Yoongi that I kind of left Joon, but somehow I didn't because he rarely kakao as Joon and I busy studying for exams anyways. 'Hi' 'Hiii' 'What are u doing' 'Studying' 'Ok go and study' 'Bye i love you' 'I love u too'

I closed my books ready to sleep. Tomorrow is a Sunday, 26 more days to nationals and it's another round of studying.

'Goodmorning' I texted. I felt kind of bad because I haven't properly texted him for awhile. 1 hour, 2 hours. There was no reply. But Joon read it. I shurgged and got back to my work anyways. 4.30pm. "Goodmorning" he texted back. Was he awake now or..? I thought. 

"Not sure if your feelings faded" "Just tell me" I looked at the next messages and raised my brow. 'Whaaaaat' I replied. "You're not giving me emoticons anymore." He shot back.

'Well I normally don't. And you don't give me emoticons too.'

 "Because you dont'."

 'What' 

"What?" "Feelings faded? Tell me"

I decided he was just being childish and ignored him.

"Well I guess the answer is obvious." "Its okay I'm just wasting my time to wait for your reply." 

He katalked me again. I decided that maybe if I talked to Yoongi about it he'll undestand. Yoongi told me to just follow what my heart wanted. So I took a deep breath and replied, 'I need time.'

"Faded?" 'No' I quickly replied. 'I don't know what my heart wants.' I seriously don't. I swear, part of my heart wants him and part do not and want me to focus on my studies. Nothing more. "Means?" He asked again. 'A lot of things are in my head right now. And you suddenly asked me this?' I was on the verge of crying. "Why can't you tell me?" "I'm your boyfriend am I?" "Gosh how stupid I am to actually think that we can celebrate our anniversary?" "We've been together for 8 months and now you said you need time to think about our relationship?" "What did I even do?" "I assume you've fallen for someone else" I was stuck. I wanted to tell him everything, everything I've been through but my heart couldn't. I didn't even fall in love with someone else, I wanted to say that. 

'What did I even do...' I replied. I locked myself in the room. My nose, eyes and lips started to become red as I control myself to not cry at this moment. But I couldn't.

"Just tell me. Do you love me?" "Do you?" "Are we breaking up?"

It was just too overwhelming for me. I decided that I'm just going to tell him how I felt, because he was my boyfriend anyways. But I felt so much forced to do so. 

"Can you just reply?" Joon was getting impatient. I copied the text that I wanted to send and said that I'm replying. I thought he would wait and said okay. But he said something else.

"Is there someone else?" "Just tell me, yes or no. I don't want to read your long text." And it just broke me apart. My text were full of emotions, I was ready and eager to tell him. However he told me that he was going to be heartbreaking. And then his texts came flowing. "Just tell me yes or no first" "Just be straightforward." "It's been 8 months and you're telling me you need time. Time to study? I didn't even distract you." He was merely doubting my feelings and pushing the blame on me. I was already crying, with bloodshed tears and he said that I got someone else? He doubted my feelings? I don't even know what to feel anymore. 'What about you? You wanted to break up right?' I felt that he was rushing me and putting me in tough positions. At that point, we can only think of ourselves. Our fights and arguments were in circles, and I was already too tired to think about it. Moreover, my parents saw my swollen face, and of course, I couldn't tell them about it and I felt bad. Time passed, Joon said that he was leaving. Because it was better to let go. Because sometimes you don't always make choices. Choices make you. I was tired of fighting, but that didn't stop me from crying. I prayed to God and thanked him for giving me the right path, and to give me strength. I thought that the breakup was over, like that. But it was not.

 

25 more days to the national exams. Sunday. My parents read my messages but didn't scold or punish or  anything, but instead my mum supported and motivated me. My sister gave me hugs and told me that I can overcome this. Again, I cried because I was touched. Yoongi and Yeri told me that I was a strong girl and cheered me up as well and I was thankful to have people who actually cared about me. But Joon texted me again, asking me if it was all really over, or it was just stopped because of my exams. At that point, Joon was already finishing his national exams. And now its my turn. He told me that I didn't care anymore and that I was the one who's leaving. That I'm selfish, that I only thought of myself, and that the way I broke up with him was how I broke up with my previous ex. He seemed to be too blinded to see that I was hurting alot, and that his words were piercing me though like a dagger but I couldn't show my emotions because I didn't want my family to worry about me again. He stabbed me again and again with his words, telling me that I treated him like just another person who was not part of my life, telling me that that I broke up because of my national exams which I did, and told me that he could have broke up because of his national exams. Now he is begging me to stay. My dad barged into my room, telling me to give him my phone. I texted him to tell him all that. And he just replied a 'kk'.  I don't know what to feel and reluctantly gave my phone to my dad.

 

 24 more days. Today was a Monday. I got to school early and Yeri hugged me to tell me that everything was alright. Everything went pretty well in school, because I only had exams to sit in and then I can go home straight. And that Joon's batch didn't have to report to school, so I was abit safe. My exams ended, it was drizzling abit and I wanted to go home quick so that I could take a nap and then start studying again. My friend took a longer way, I could have went with her but I decided to take a shorter way instead. That was a bad decision. I climbed the stairs up and made a beeline to reach my house. In a distance, I saw '5' on the back of the school's jersey. Isn't that Joon's..? Where was he going? I thought. I shrugged but I had a bad hunch so I decided to pick up the pace faster. I put my hands in my pockets, fist clenched, hoping and praying that Joon wasn't there to find me. However, I heard running. And it totally sounded like Joon's run. Someone stopped behind me, 'Soyeon.' He called my name. I turned around, cursing under my breath but I decided to face the reality anyways. My prayers weren't heard, and Joon grabbed my hand to come closer to me. He told me to explain everything, which I didn't understand because I already explained yesterday about my phone being confiscated. He hugged me. That's it. My walls I've built tore down infront of him. My nose was clearly and obviously red and my tears was just about to run along my cheeks. Thank God, I stopped it from happening. Joon kissed goodbye, apologising that he assumed that I liked someone else. Afterall, he was a really nice guy who just throw tantrums here and there. I walked back home, but I couldn't take it. Like a drama scene, I broke down and cry while I walked home and reached home to cry even more. 

Night time came, my sister went into my room and gave me her phone. Joon texted her and involve her into our breakup phase.

"Someone told me that Soyeon flirted with Yoongi and she liked Yoongi when we are dating. Isit true?"

'HAHAHAHA best joke of the day.' 'My sister would never do that.'

After rounds and rounds of the same conversation, it became violent. 

"Jinwon told me that Soyeon liked Yoongi and wanted to chase him so bad." I was dumbstruck. Jinwon... told Joon..? I had to urgently text Yoongi, so I pleaded my dad to give me my phone for 10 mins. I told Yoongi everything. And he said that he was leaving. Great. Just great. The last of friends that actually cared was leaving. My eyes and nose felt burned, I was angry. Joon was trying to hurt me. "You don't know about her past. Should I believe you or him?" He texted. My sister cursed him, ' you. I know her for- since birth. And he knows her for a year. Who do you want to believe?' My sister was siding me. And Joon didn't like that. But he couldn't force my sister out because, my sister, is my family. I think to myself, why now? Why when national exams is in 25 days , you're trying to hurt me now? Do you like it? Seeing me suffer? Seeing me trying to put my life back into pieces and slowly making the people who actually loved and cared about me leave? I was in a state of mental breakdown. I was forced to tell my mum everything, and she told me it wasn't easy. Yeri told me that he was just being selfish and that God gives the toughest battles to his strongest warriors. I felt somehow at ease, somehow wanting to try to get back up again, and that I shouldn't be seen weak, because everything would just hurt me.

 

23 more days. Today was a tuesday. It was the last papers that I would be sitting for my prelims and I told my mum that I didnt' want to go to school tomorrow because I wasn't ready to see the batch of students and she accepted. It wasn't easy to get to school, because I was scared to be looked at with glares and disgust. Thank God Joon's batch was coming back to school tomorrow. However there was still one problem; Yoongi and Jinwon. I tried my best not to give the boys a glance or even talked to them, but Yoongi knew I was in a broken state and he just gave me a warm smile and a goodluck. I smiled back and sat for the first exam. It was break until the second part of the exam commenced. Again, Yoongi gave me a nod and a smile and I was kind of thankful that he wasn't really leaving me anyway. I went up to the hall, and saw Jinwon and Yeri sitting down and talking seriously. This only meant one thing ; If Jinwon betrayed me by telling Joon, and make things worse, he could tell Yeri everything and make her distance herself from me, because I was in the wrong. I sat down with girls, and Yeri walked up to me and asking if I was free to talk after the exams. I said yes and she gave me a really crooked and confused smile. I needed some time by myself, so I told Yeri that we could talk at kakaotalk later. Yeri told me that Joon wanted to meet me, but my heart told me no because I wasn't ready. My intuition was right, because she straightforwardly asked if I like Yoongi, and I hesitantly said no. Yeri told me that Jinwon told her everything, and that she was confused and also trying to figure things out. I was dumbfounded. How could Jinwon, who I trusted the most when I'm pissed or when I need to tell him everything, actually betray me just like that? I was devastated, but at the same time also paranoid that Joon was going to stalk me. I quickly left school and whenever I walked or went into shops to grab something to eat, I had to look at my back, and I felt that someone was going to come at me again, like yesterday. I took the stairs to level 3 then took the lift the level 18 and then took the stairs again to level 17 and I quickly ran to the corridor and unlocked my house. I was so afaid that he would want to talk to me again but this time with anger, and I wasn't ready for that. 

 

I got home and I realised that I would be the one alone, facing my own little battle. And that, good people, will soon leave; like Yoongi and Yeri. But however, your family, the root, where you came from, will not ever let you down. And will be behind you in every step of the way. But you will be the one leading your own fight, and even if the enemy has stabbed you a dozen times, you will never go back and give up. This is your fight, so win it. Even if it takes a thousand stabs on your heart for you to win, don't ever give up. I will never ever give up, on myself and on my family. Even though my life has been in ruins for the past few days, I always remind myself, that, it's just a bad day, not a bad life. And even if there are many bad days, carry on. Because if you just end your life like that, what would others think? What would the people whom you didn't know cared about you think? I hope my life story would be an inspiration for you guys, and to those whom I mentioned earlier, Yoongi, Yeri, if you really do intent to leave, I hope it's for what is right, and what is the best.

 

I love you. 

 

 

So its done. It's 4.09A.M now and I wrote this in 4hours. I poured out almost l emotions in this piecr, and yes, this is true, it all happened. And a few days ago a that. The last chapter happened yesterday. 

I hope you guys loved it, I really wanted to share my story with you guys. Sorry if it's abit rushed? Hahaha, it's been a bad week for me so maybe I'll delay My partner, Jeon Jungkook for abit. Love you xoxo