Yuri and I have been together for almost a year now. Meeting her was unexpectedly. We both broken and lost we never thought that we could be lover in a sense that we both got hurt from the past. But then my heart slowly gives up on her. I don’t know why I like her . she doesn’t really tell me her past nor her life she hides a lot of thing about herself . Maybe being so much alike what’s drove me to her, its I’m a magnet and she’s the metal and I got stuck on her whether I like it or not. I fell in love with her immediately and told her that I’ll help her move on from her ex. She accepted it knowing that she wanna be happy too like me. Months were okay for the both of us, she’s trying her best to be better and I’m trying too to be the best for her. But things happen in a relationship. We fight and fight and there’s no day that we won’t fight. I know fighting is normal but for us we fight almost every day. I love her but sometimes I don’t know if she really loves me or not. And I know from the very start that she hasn’t move on yet and here I am patiently waiting for her but the thing is, she doesn’t open up for me even I told her so . she won’t open up that’s frustrate me a lot and I’m slowly doubting everything she’s saying, she can’t blame me for it. I know I should doubt her I just want her to open up to me but then we just got into a fight if I force her. It’s not really forcing but showing me that she trust me with anything not just hiding it from me, sometimes I feel like I was not a gf at all and I was just a friend to her. I’m trying my best to make her forget about her ex. But I guess she couldn’t trust me fully….

“im in my room looking at nowhere while for yuri to come home. We had a fight last night just because I ask her about her ex. I just wanna know her more and she got mad at me for asking too much. I mean I don’t ask for too much though I just wanna know her more but I guess ive become the bad guy again. And now she’s been busy with her work and couldn’t even had time for me. I know why she’s busying herself with work. She just want to forget the pain she’s been carrying on, I didn’t ask for too much nor complain, I just want her to trust me and tell me what’s on her mind but I guess it was too much to take in and she just keep it on herself. She told me she wanted to be the best for me but I don’t know why it feels like she’s just doing it just because it’s her responsibility as my girlfriend. She told me she loves me and all but why do I feel so uneasy every time she said that?. Like this more into that word but I couldn’t figure it out. I wish I could just know whats on her mind,

I was in my thoughts when I heard the door open indicating that someone is here, I immediately stand up and fix myself and went towards the door room as I look at her, she slowly smile at me and slowly went infront of her. she slowly handed the flower with me and she looks me straight in the eye and said,

“I’m sorry baby…. Please forgive me…”

I bite my lower lips and those upset feelings for her wash out. One sorry for her and my heart melt for her again and again.

She slowly went towards me as she handed me the flower as get the flower and looks at her she hugs me and whisper saying sorry as I just told her it was fine and I was sorry too, she looks at me and give me kisses on the forehead as I close my eyes, she kisses my cheeks too and I was about to open my eyes when she kisses my lips preventing me from opening my eyes. We shared a sweet kiss she ask me and said.

“have you eaten yet?” I shook my head and told her that I already cook and was waiting for her she smile at me and told me that we should eat I just nodded my head , she grabs my hand as we went to the dining room, she told me that I should just sit down when she just do all the work, I didn’t complain and just do what she wants me to do. I look at her busying herself setting up the table, I couldn’t help but smile at her, I just love this girl so much,

After she’s done she gesture me to eat and nod at her, we just eat in silent though, sometimes its always like this, I look at her and notice her looking at her phone once in a while it’s like she’s waiting for someone. I just let her be but a few minutes later I couldn’t stand the silent as I ask her.

“are you waiting for someones call?” she looks at me and knitted her brows at me and said.

“no why did you say that?” she put the spoon and looks at me.

“because you always look at your phone….

“can I not look at it?”

“ofcourse you can I mean… do you have a problem?”

 She looks at me like shes going to make a hole on my face and said.

“are we going to fight again?” I look at her confuse and said.

“I’m just asking you if you got problem. Why did you think this is a fight?”

“because I know you’ll ask more!!” she raise her voice on me and I got shock.

“why are you raising your voice on me?!! I’m just asking”

“I’m not raising my voice!!!!!!!!” she looks at me mad and said.

“please not now…. I’m tired…

“tired??!!! Really?? you don’t even have a work today and telling me your tired????”

“I’m tired of explaining myself to you!!!”

“you didn’t even explain myself to me!!”

“I did but did you even care?!! Nope you don’t you don’t even understand me at all!!”

“how can I understand you?? When you don’t open up for me!!!”

“I open up for you ____ you just ask for more when I already told you everything what did you still want me to tell you???? I’m doing my best ____ but you can’t even see that… I’m tired ___ you don’t even see my effort”

“your effort!!!?? Where and when???” I stand up and I couldn’t handle myself and I was so mad, she looks at me sadly and said.

“I’m tired please just understand me for now” she sta