It's been weeks.. months.. since I last saw my beloved members. Or.. Should I call them.. ex members?

It's been weeks.. months.. since I last saw my love. I was not even sure if my love was still loving him. Still thought about me like I did this past months.

I broke the promise.

I knew I made millions people disappointed. I made the fans cried, I made them hate me. I made s hate me. Perhaps my love turned to hate me now. After everything I did.

I promised. Then broke it.

It was hard decision. To finally left the group that raised my name. To left the group I loved so dearly. To left my other half.

I sounded selfish, didn't I?

But that was the best. I thought about it over and over before made the final decision.

To left.

Sehun texted me. Everyday.

He wished a happy birthday for me. Without everyone knew about it.

He called me at night, but I couldn't pick the call. I didn't want to remember the promises I broke.

I had to re-start everything. My career. My life.

I wanted to erase the memory. Because it was painful to looking back. I can't be weak. I had to fight the urge to came back. I couldn't. I wouldn't.

"Tao. I miss you. We are preparing for our repackage album. Come back soon, alright?"

I was hurt everytime I read the texts Sehun sent me.

"Because you can't be here, Yixing hyung has to do the Rapp part too. ㅋㅋㅋ. Do you want to hear it? I shouldn't be doing this because the song is going to be released next week, but because you're our member, you can also hear it. I'll send it to you."

The time I listened to the songs Sehun sent, I cried. I was sorry. Really sorry for everyone. I listened to the Korean version of the song and smiled between tears that streamed down my cheeks.

I wanted to reply Sehun text. I really wanted to say that he was doing well with his Rapp part. He was improving a lot. But I did none of that. I couldn't give Sehun false hopes.

"I want to go to Bugak Skyway. Wanna come with me? Or do you want to go to Han river?"

In the middle of my practice, Sehun texted me. I was exhausted from the dance practice for my soon to be released solo album. And I knew that Sehun must be tired form EXO's schedule. Again, I really wanted to reply the message. I wanted to say sorry for my love.

"You are really leaving? Jongin said you will released an album soon. So you won't come back?"

"Answer me!"

"What about the promise?! You said we will walk together forever. You said you'll always by my side. Where are you now when I need you really bad? What have I done that you do this to me?"

That day I cried again. Sehun hates me. For sure. I wanted to hug him and apologize. But I couldn't. I wouldn't.

I could only wrote a song.

"Right now, whenever I open my eyes

I have to endure the silence that is without you by my side

That three words that you always wanted to hear.. is it too late to say it now?

Beca