Ready If You Are

“Such a feeling’s coming over me from you
There is only one wish on my mind

You are a miracle to me, miracle to me
Let me tell you this
I don’t wanna lose your love, my love

You are a miracle to me, miracle to me
Let me tell you this
But I cannot explain how much I love you

I long to be close to you
I long to be close to you
I’ll be on your side Forever more”

Lee Jonghyun

2015

The atmosphere in the car was somehow oppressive. Neither of them really knew how to lighten up the mood, because they were filming their very last segment today. No jokes, no cheesy lines. It was like both of them were drowning in their own thoughts and memories of the past year and three months. It had been like this since they packed up all of their meaningful items in the house earlier.

Jonghyun was taking a side glance at Seungyeon. Although she looked composed he knew very well that she had a hard time fighting back the tears. He sighed slightly as he gently her left hand with his thumb, quietly trying to give her some strength for what was still to come.

When they reached their destination Seungyeon was hesitant to leave the car. She felt anxious and sad and she was actually scared of all of her emotions suddenly catching up to her on screen when she had to finally say goodbye to her virtual husband who had become so much more than that to her now.

It wasn’t just the fact that they were leaving the show today that was paining her heart. She was afraid of what would become of their relationship once their fantasy bubble would finally burst.

Could they actually make it in the real world? Were they really ready for this?

Seungyeon wanted nothing more than to be optimistic, but lately Jonghyun and she had been arguing a lot about how to handle their situation and she worried that her feelings for him had grown stronger than his for her. She couldn’t tell if it was because both of them had been so very busy, he with his cnblue comeback and the preperation of is solo album and she with her acting job, or if he was slowly distancing himself from her before going off to complete his military service with s at the end of the year.

Sometimes she would find herself looking at her far too perfect boyfriend, thinking that it was just a matter of time until he would grow tired of her. It was hard to compete with all the girls that were lining up to meet and date him every single day and at times she wondered why he had actually picked her of all people to be with him in first place.

She didn’t like to entertain these kinds of thoughts since she was usually a very optimistic person but they had clouded her mind for the past three weeks and she earnestly started to wonder if ending their virtual marriage would have any negative impact on their true relationship. She was scared that they could grow apart even though it was the last thing she wanted.

Jonghyun opened the car for Seungyeon and she naturally reached for his hand while getting out. She tried to flash him a smile when she noticed the concern in his eyes. Whatever she was worrying about at the moment, she didn't want to make things harder for him than they already were. She knew he had a lot on his plate right now. She didn't like being a burden to anyone - especially not to him.

They were standing in front of the Garden of Morning Calm, a botanic garden outside Seoul and Seungyeon was happy that they were spending their last moments together in the freedom of the nature rather than in some stuffy building.

“Ready?” She managed to asked, her voice sounding a bit thinner than usual.

“Ready if you are.” Jonghyun answered and tightened the grip on her hand. He flashed her a significant smile, one that she did not expect to so see under the current circumstances, before he gently pulled her with him.

*****

They had been exploring the beauty of the park in the light of sunset. The flowers and exotic trees were planted in a magnificent order making the garden look like a precious piece of art. Being away from the hectic of the capital was very refreshing and calming.

“Oppa, gomawo for bringing me here.” Seungyeon sincerely thanked Jonghyun, resting her head a little more against his broad chest as they were slowly walking towards a beautifully arranged resting area, where a dinner table had been set up for just the two of them. She inhaled deeply, being close to tears again when she realised how much he had prepared for their last date as husband and wife.

Jonghyun naturally planted a quick kiss on her head before leading her to the table. He pulled out the chair for her before sitting down on the opposite side.

Seungyeon was stunned, looking at the food he had prepared. Besides meat and soup there were also intestines and oysters on the table.

“Yah, Oppa, you must really love me a lot.” She blurted out in surprise, making him laugh.

“Deh, my wife. I only prepared the best for the best.” He answered with a cheesy line while reaching across the table to pinch her nose playfully.

The sun had set already, covering their environment in dim light, but he could still see her blushing as he kept staring at her intensely.

It didn’t matter how embarrassed Seungyeon was, she would usually maintain their eye contact boldly. It was something that had set her apart from other girls right from the start.

When Jonghyun had stated that he fell for Seungyeon at first sight on their very first day of filming, he didn’t tell a lie at all. He was mesmerized by her eyes and the way she elegantly carried herself right from the start. His heart had never beaten this rapidly for any other girl before.

He instantly knew that this was it. He didn’t need to worry about acting. The only thing he had to take care of was to make her fall for him, too.

As they got closer he found it amazing how well their personalities and sense of humour matched each other, making him grow fond of her even more. There were so many times when they didn’t even need to say a word to understand each other completely. Seungyeon, although being a bear most of the time, surely had fatale charms when it came to him.

He would never forget the day he brought her to Busan for the first time. Although their visit did have some unexpected ups and downs he could see it very clearly then: they were a match made in heaven. If one seemed to stumble, the other one would quickly make up for it.
 

Hearing Seungyeon say the three magic words to him while filming let his mind go blank for a second. They began their virtual marriage with a lot of sincerity right from the start, but because she was shy by nature it took her some time to be bold and to freely express herself.
Until the very moment he heard her say "Nampyeon, saranghae!" he had always feared that he had fallen for her more than she had fallen for him. However, when she - in all possible honesty - dropped her last protective wall towards him on the show, he knew more than ever that they had already moved past any filming requirements by far. They were no longer only friends or two young people who were slowly starting to get to know each other. The testing time was over.

All those countless hours they spent speaking on the phone... The times when they would seek skinship while shooting even if it wasn't actually neccessary... Or later when they caught up in private for coffee dates or went on extended drives... How they would look at each other while sharing their dreams for the future...

His fluttering heart told him exactly what it wanted: for them to finally go all the way. Seungyeon didn't know it at that time but he had already started to prepare for it in secret. He had never cared much about traditions all his life, being known as the free spirited kind of guy, but because Seungyeon wasn't just any girl to him, he truely wanted to do right by her.

Jonghyun vividly remembered being just as much on edge as her when they first reached his parents' home. It wasn't like him. But because he really wanted her and his family to go along well he was a bit nervous about his parents and sisters blurting out