“When are you coming?”

“... I don't know.”

Jaejoong closed his eyes. He expected that answer. It was always the same. When his lover was away he didn't know when his most beloved would come back. This uncertainty was awful. Awful and energy-draining.

A song was played on the radio. At first, he didn't pay attention but then, a particular line made him listen. And suddenly, he had to smile. “You can reach me by railway~” he sung softly into his phone, eyes staring outside in the rain. The large windows of the small restaurant he was sitting in reflected the lighted lamps and created a fade mirror. “You can reach by trailway, you can reach me on an airplane~”

His lover chuckled lightly on the other end of the line. He said something but Jaejoong decided to ignore it. Somehow he needed to make clear how he felt, what he needed the most. “You can reach me with your mind~”

“You never leave my thoughts” came the soft reply. “My life revolves around you. That has never changed, and never will.”

Jaejoong continued, his lover's words feeding his needy heart. “You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man~ ”

There were some sounds in the background. It sounded like people shouting. “Never knew you're interested in the orient” his lover said, slight surprise in his voice. This time Jaejoong answered him. “I don't” he admitted. “But if it brings you to me then it shall.” He took a deep breath, voicing the next line out with as much emotions as he could. “I don't care how you get here, just get here if you can~“

There was a small pause in which both men listened to the other's breathing. “What if I can't now, even if I wanted to?” his lover asked, the desperation visible for Jaejoong even through the phone. “Where are you?”

“Somewhere with trees trying to reach the sky and mountains vanishing in the clouds.”

That caused Jaejoong to chuckle. He found it funny when his partner tried to be poetic. The emphasis was on 'tried'. Most of the time it sounded cheesy. “You can reach me by sailboat, climb a tree and swing rope to rope~”

“So I have to become Tarzan for you, my love?”

Jaejoong hummed and imagined the man as the boy who grew up in the jungle, jumping through the crowns of mightful trees, older than human kind. Free, doing what he wanted. Testing the boundaries of his strength, challenging whoever he selected as his opponent. It fit the other.

“Take a sled and slide down slow, into the arms of mine~”

How much he wished for that to happen. Jaejoong's longing for his lover grew with every day the man was away, travelling parts of the world he himself has never heard of.

“Oh, baby” his lover sighed yearningly. “How I want to do just that. I want to show you all this wonderful places I've been to, tell you mystical stories the natives shared with me while you lie in my arms. A few weeks ago we were in some plains and a herd of wild horses galloped not far from us. You should have seen it. They were beautiful.”

Jaejoong opened his eyes again, noticing the look one of the waiters was given him. He knew he must look strange to have only ordered one mug of tea for over an hour, phone attached to his ear for over forty-five minutes. Not that he minded. All that mattered to him at the moment was the voice of his beloved. “You can jump on a speedy colt, cross the border in a blaze of hope~”

“Maybe I should've done just that” the other thought out loud. “I'm sure I would have found one. If it had allowed me to ride it is another question though...”

Jaejoong rolled his eyes at the answer. Typical. “ I really don't care” he answered. “I don't really care how you get here, just get here.”

And then he realised something. The song was on repeat. He hadn't noticed that. He had just sung along. Now, when he thought about it, the lines fit their conversation perfectly. Why hadn't he listened to the song before? It was soothing in some way and made the empty hours without his lover a little more bearable.

On the other line sounded more shouts. Jaejoong frowned. He had an unpleasant feeling. His lover's next words confirmed his worries. “I need to go, love.” There was an urgency in his tone Jaejoong didn't like. “I'll call you again.”

A big lump formed in his throat. He didn't want the call to end. He didn't want the other's voice to stop talking. He really didn't want to be alone again. But he had to. For the time being.

“... Stay safe” he managed to say, his own voice sounding weak in his ears.

“Always” Yunho answered gently and hung up.

For some time Jaejoong sat there motionless. Scenarios played in his head, one more horrible than the other. He couldn't prevent those images to appear in front of his eyes. At night it came to the worst. He would wake up drenched in sweat, breathing heavily. The nightmares imprinted in his brain. Yunho lying in a pool of his own blood, eyes closed or wide open, the life drained out of them. Sometimes nothing but few body parts left to be buried. Or they were completely missing.

Whenever Yunho got a call for a new mission and had to go this feeling of fear and uneasiness possessed Jaejoong. It stayed and pestered him at day and night until his lover returned to him safe and sound. As soon as he had him in his arms again every bad thought was erased.

“Sir?” A voice brought him back to reality. Bewildered, he looked up in the face of the waitress who had watched him strangely a while ago. “If you don't intend to order something else would you be so kind as to leave?” She used a polite tone but her eyes gave her away. Jaejoong wasted no time, paid and left. He needed rest. As much he was able to get till the next phone call he was already waiting for.

Rain drops fell on his face and he stared in the dark and cloudy sky. Please, he thought, if there's a higher power make sure Yunho comes back to me intact. I have no other wish. Just this one. Return him to me safely. I beg you.

It was dawn, the sun only started to rise. Yet, Jaejoong was wide awake.

It wasn't because of the loud screaming of his neighbours having another of their endless fights. He had wondered here and there where they got the energy to go from one argument to another, be it night or day. It was almost a wonder. It wasn't because of his alarm ringing either. The sound penetrated his ears but he didn't care. Nor was it the coldness in the room caused by the open window. No, it was because of the message he had gotten last night. The message that told him the long awaited phone call would come soon.

Jaejoong paced around impatient. His hands clutched his phone tightly. His eyes darted to the red cyphers on his alarm clock. The colon between the numbers seemed to mock him. It flashed way too slow for Jaejoong's liking. Not that he could change it. And then...

The ringing of his phone made him jump in shock. It was unnaturally loud in the silent room. Quickly, he took the call and pressed it to his ear. “H-Hello?” he stammered, holding his breath.

“Jaejoong?”

His legs almost gave out when he heard his lover's voice on the other end. Forget the worry in the man's voice. He was alive. Thank god. “Are you okay?”

“What? Yes, of course” he answered and let the air out he was still holding. His legs were slightly shaking. He went to the open window. The cool air calmed his fast beating heart. “You sure?”

He nodded, a small smile on his lips. “I'm glad” he whispered and leaned his forehead against the cool glass. His eyes started to water. “I'm so glad you're alright. I was scared, so scared.“ Slowly, he realised he had began to sob. The feeling of relief that filled him the moment he'd heard the other man seemed to have broken the dam that had hold back his feelings.

“Oh, Jaejoong. It's okay. I'm sorry, everything is alright. I'm not hurt, love” Yunho tried to comfort him. “Please, don't cry.”

“I-I'm not c-crying” Jaejoong denied, trying his hardest to suppress any sobs. “Where are you?” He changed the topic. He was a bit embarrassed for his breakdown. And, more importantly, he needed to be ensured his lover was in no dangerous situation. “Are you safe?”

“I promised you” his lover said. The gentleness in his voice caused a dangerous prickle in Jaejoong's eyes. They shimmered with tears. “I need you, Yunho” he confessed. “I need you here right now. I... I...” He stopped. Somehow, he wasn't able to form a sentence.

“Please, Jae. Hang in there just a while longer.” The other sounded a bit agitated. “I'm home soon. Please, be patient.”

Jaejoong bit his lower lip. He wasn't fair, making Yunho worry about him more than he already does. That was the least he needed wherever he was. He had to pull himself together. “I'm sorry” he murmured, fingers trailing an invisible pattern. “I'm a little out lately, I think. I shouldn't trouble you with trivial things like that-”

“Nothing concerning you is trivial” his lover cut him rather briskly and Jaejoong imagined this stern facial expression the man always wore when he started one of his lectures. It was cute how passionate he got once he started.

In the background the music station played the song he'd heard days ago in the restaurant. Unconsciously, he hummed along. It was like the scene repeated itself. With the difference that this time it was Yunho who started to sing. “There are hills and mountain between us~”

Jaejoong wasn't able to respond. Hearing his lover using that particular baritone voice woke memories he wanted to revive with the man hear by his side. The longing grew again and bubbled under the surface.

“Always something to get over~”

“Do it” Jaejoong whispered. He'd returned to his bed and fell into the soft sheets. “If I had my way, then surely you would be closer~”

Yunho breathed out. “You know I gladly have you let your way, Jaejoong. You don't know how much I miss you. I dream about you but it's not enough. It's never enough. I need you closer~“ He sang the line in a quiet tone. The need couldn't be overheard. “As I do” Jaejoong replied hoarsely, fingers clutching the soft material. “Come home, soon.” He was on the verge of begging. God, he missed the other to no end.

“I will” Yunho promised, voice thick with emotions. “Wait for me, love.”

“Always.”

The clock on the wall ticked and ticked. Jaejoong stared at the second hand, how it constantly moved closer to the twelve. A thunderstorm could have roared outside or crazy hippies partying in his living-room – Jaejoong wouldn't had noticed. His eyes were fixed on the clock. His ears heard nothing but the sound of the second hand and occasionally the minute hand when the sixty seconds were reached.

Tick, tack. Tick, tack.

Every person would have gone mad by the sound. But not he. For Jaejoong it was the only thread connecting him to the upcoming moment of peacefulness. It has always been. Well, for these five years it was.

And finally, after what felt like an eternity, the second hand reached the twelve, joining the minuted hand and hour hand. Tensed up, Jaejoong waited for any sound to come. He strained his ears but the only thing greeting him was silence. Disappointment filled his chest. How naïve, he thought. To believe his lover would come. Though he sent a message Jaejoong knew all too well this piece of information couldn't be trusted. In most cases Yunho came late by two or three days. His superiors hold him back every time for some secret matters. Just because his lover was reliable and trustworthy, working hard on every task he was given, he'd to stay behind while his comrades could go home? It wasn't fair. Especially since there was someone waiting for him anxiously, too.

Mumbling quietly to himself Jaejoong almost overheard the bell on the front door. He froze on the spot, heart beating rapidly, eyes fixed on the entrance. He waited for another ring. It could happen he was imagine it because of his desperate state. And there it was. For the second time the bell rang.

As if in slow motion he took step for step to the front door. His hand touched the door knob. Almost hesitantly he turned it and opened the door. And there stood the man he had waited for so long. Waited for over a month. A month full of despair, longing and a aching heart.

Their eyes met and the world seemed to still. None of them moved, too entranced by the other.

“Yunho...“ Jaejoong eventually managed to breath out.

"Jaejoong." The way the man spoke his name, caressed the syllables, sent shivers down his spine. And with that soft call every tension left his body. Without a second thought he threw himself in the waiting arms of his lover who hugged him tight. The man's own scent mixed with the faint smell of sweat hit his nostrils and he breathed it in. He felt his eyes prickle with tears again and he let them flow. After all, it weren't sad tears. It were tears shed of sheer happiness.

He clutched at the fabric of his lover's jacket, face hidden in the crook of the man's neck. “You're here” he said in wonder. “You're back.”

Yunho nuzzled his hair, holding him even tighter. “I'm back, love” he replied and kissed him on the top of his head. “I'm back.”

They were walking at the river, hands intertwined. Jaejoong listened attentively as his lover told him about the places he's been. Some sounded so mystical he suspected the other made them up just to entertain him. But if it was true or not he didn't care. It was enough to hear the man's voice, full of life and enthusiasm.

As they neared a group of people they could hear the faint sound of an all so familiar song. Jaejoong turned to Yunho, a strange expression on his face. “You know” he started, eyes roaming over the water to the other side, “when you were away and we talked over the phone when possible I heard this song when I was sitting in a restaurant.”

“Ah, that's why you suddenly started to sing” Yunho concluded and tugged him closer to him. “I've wondered what made you do that.”

Jaejoong turned his attention to him. They had stopped walking, the group of singing people still a good distance away. “Did you really?”he dug deeper, eyebrows raising.

His lover grinned. “Caught me, I didn't. You're so random I don't question your behaviour anymore.”

Jaejoong pouted and got a peck in return. “Don't be upset” his lover said. “I love you just the was you are.”

He didn't reply, eyes turned back to the river but he squeezed the other's hand. In the middle of the water appeared a figure surfing on the calm surface. White spindrift contrasted with the dark water and formed a momentary path. Without thinking he vocalised his thoughts.

“You can windsurf into my life~”

“Didn't I already?”

Jaejoong couldn't help but grin at the reply. His attention was drawn back to his lover who looked at him fondly. His hands travelled over the man's face to reminisce about every feature he hadn't seen for over a month. “Take me up on a carpet ride~” he continued to sing, the lights of the city on the opposite shore reflected in his eyes. Yunho grabbed his fingers and kissed their tips. “Whatever you want, my love. Shall we find the hidden treasure like Aladdin did?”

Jaejoong withdrew his hands from the taller man and hit him on the shoulder. “Stop teasing me, cheesy idiot” he complained but the twinkle in his eyes and the twitching of his lips gave him away. “Next time you can make it in a big balloon, but better make it soon~”

His lover caressed his right cheek, the love in his eyes undeniable. “Everything for you, Jae” he answered and added: “You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man~ ”

Jaejoong smiled upon hearing those words he sung at the restaurant. “Never knew you were interested in the orient” he teased, using the same phrase as his lover did before.

“I don't” Yunho chuckled. “But if it brings me to you then it shall” he revealed.

Jaejoong bit back a laugh. It was almost surreal. He had him back. Yunho was back home. With him. He felt like he could embrace the whole world. He took a few steps back, increasing the distance between them. A mischievous glint appeared in his eyes. “I don't care how you get there, just – get here if you can~” he chanted, arms opened wide as he hopped on a bench nearby. Yunho's expression changed from confusion to amusement. He followed the challenge and circled his arms around Jaejoong's waist. He tilted his head back to look him in the glowing face. “Your face looks like that of a kid getting his Christmas present” he commented.

“I don't care, I don't care” Jaejoong crooned, “I need you right here, right now~.”

“As I do” Yunho stole his words from their former telephone call. He reached up and caught Jaejoong's face between his hands. Jaejoong leaned down to met his lips. The kiss was sweet and slow. Both poured all their emotions in it, showing the other what they felt while being separated for this long time. Jaejoong felt his skin tingle. It was so long since he last had felt him this way. His legs entangled around his lover's waist. He trusted Yunho to carry him, which he did. Jaejoong let his fingers play with the other's thick hair.

“People are looking” he remarked.

“I don't care, I don't care~” Yunho repeated and kissed him again, more demanding. “I need you right here, right now~”

Jaejoong smiled brightly as they broke the kiss and leaned in so their foreheads touched. “Stay by my side” he said and folded his arms behind Yunho's neck. “And come back to me always.”

Yunho brushed their lips together. “I will” he answered and stared in Jaejoong's eyes, brushing his bangs out of his face. “Because I need you right here, right now, right by my side.”