3. Proceed With Caution!

 

It lingered in the back of BamBam's mind that Yugyeom had told him to tell Jackson about his feelings the moment he realized them. He also remembered the reason why. If Jackson didn't feel the same way, he'd have to put an end to what was going on between them. The kissing lessons, the constant time together, the couple play acting without any strings attached. All because the addition of love, especially a one way love, would add the strings he'd been previously missing, and he'd wind up tangled. He could allow himself to be toyed around with, but that wouldn't be fair to him. He deserved more, and deserved to be loved as much as he loved.

 

Or at least he knew that was how he should feel. All the same, he said nothing. He continued to thank Jackson for the elephants with the same attitude as if nothing had changed. He rested with Jackson still keeping watch in Jinyoung's bed, and allowed himself to be pampered with food and juices until his temperature went back to normal and his energy came back. And even when that happened, he stayed silent. He went on their promised journey to hunt down the prettiest lights and trees in Seoul, and even enjoyed a Christmas evening spent together with him after sharing dinner with the other foreign students who had stayed for winter break. If he stayed quiet, he could keep the kisses, the time together, the illusion that he was one half of a loving couple, a very loved half who received kisses and I love yous that actually meant something.

 

If he spoke, he'd have to stop. He thought that maybe he wasn't ready to stop now. Now wasn't perfect, but it was fine. Now left the ending still unwritten, and left his imagination to dream of a happy conclusion where he wasn't left burned by his first time falling in love.

 

The morning of the day Jinyoung was set to come back, BamBam joined Jackson in the dorm laundry room as he took care of Jinyoung's sheets. “Look, not a single stain on it even before I'm putting it in the wash, aren't I amazing?” BamBam decided not to comment on all the crumbs that fell of the sheets when they were being pulled off in the first place. He'd have to vacuum before Jinyoung came back, since he had a radar for those kinds of things.

 

“Mark's going to be surprised to come back and find your room looking like you haven't been living in it.”

 

“I'll buy some chips to snack on tonight so he won't get suspicious. If he even comes back to our room, that is. He'll probably just make a beeline for yours.” Jackson turned the washer on and grabbed BamBam's wrist to pull him to the saggy couch at the far side of the room. Usually there were a handful of students there doing homework while waiting for their laundry, but since everyone was still away for the holiday, the laundry room was dead other than them.

 

“Yeah, I bet they really missed each other.”

 

“Mhm. You can come over if those hormonal kids can't control themselves.”

 

“But Yugyeom's coming back, so I can visit him, too.”

 

“Right...” Jackson reached his hand around to the back of BamBam's head and ran his fingers through his short hair. “You feel all the way better, yeah?”

 

“Yeah? It's been a few weeks now.”

 

His body felt unusually nervous. He'd gotten somewhat used to Jackson touching him-- sure, there had been chest fuzzies then, but touching was something natural and not worth panicking over-- but now he was more aware than he had been before. Did Jackson want to kiss him? To begin with, had this whole thing been about wanting that and not about teaching BamBam? BamBam was still no expert, but he was certain he could kiss well enough to not embarrass himself. He could probably graduate at this point, but not only was he holding back on that, but Jackson was, too.

 

If your lips are lonely enough, can you really kiss anyone? And if you start, at what point can you stop? He didn't ask, because he frankly didn't want to know what Jackson's answer would be.

 

Jackson ran his thumb along BamBam's lip and gently pushed it down. Before BamBam could say anything, he quickly drew his hand away and replaced it with his mouth, kissing him for the first time since that time on the bed where BamBam had lost control. It felt good-- because he loved Jackson it always felt good, he understood that now-- but he couldn't be mindless or give into instinct like Jackson had once coached him. He couldn't stop thinking about what Jackson was feeling at that moment, if it was just another kiss, if it touched only his lips and failed to reach his heart.

 

He wondered if it was all the thinking that was causing it to hurt somewhere inside of him, some mysterious point that existed alongside the love and everything else. Jackson's kisses had felt like a lot of things previously, but never like this.

 

He tapped Jackson's shoulder gently, and Jackson broke away from him. “Seriously, Kunpimook, are you all right?” he asked.

 

“I...” You tell him immediately, and if he doesn't return your feelings, you stop whatever you're doing with him, Yugyeom's voice echoed in his mind. The words dangled right where they were on the tip of his tongue.

 

Jackson's hand was on his forehead, warm and reassuring. “Your temperature is good...”

 

“I'm fine. It's just that...”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I...I...”

 

“Say something coherent, man!”

 

“I... Jackson, can I please keep the elephants?”

 

Jackson blinked and withdrew his hand. “Uh, yeah, they can stay in your room? Jinyoung will probably toss them, though.”

 

“Okay. Thank you.” BamBam lept to his feet and started bouncing around. “You know, since I'm not sick anymore, I've got all this energy. Isn't that great? When it stops snowing, Mark can lend me his ripboard again and I can go to the skate park with Yugyeom. He really , but I was teaching him before the bad weather started, so if the winter isn't bad one, I can start aga-”

 

“I get it, I get it,” Jackson said, rolling his eyes. “Always moving to the next thing, huh?” He got up off the couch. “Since they're your roomie's sheets you can handle them yourself, right?”

 

“W-what?”

 

“I kind of want to go back to my room and eat chips and stuff, man. I've been away for too long. Besides, it's not like I can actually deal with those fitted sheets, I make Mark do that. You can do it all nice and Jinyoungie-like so he never realizes I was there and you can erase all that like it never happened. Except for the elephants, guess I did the right thing there.”

 

Jackson sounded ticked off, but then again, he sounded ticked off a lot since it was part of his bluffing routine so BamBam had no idea what he was supposed to do. He stopped bouncing around and stared at Jackson, but Jackson was keeping a neutral face. He thought maybe he was supposed to ask him to stay, but there was a part of him that wanted him to go rather than to continue to keep him here while he couldn't say the one thing he needed to.

 

Jackson sighed. “Later, then. Have fun with Yugyeom.”

 

“Bye...” BamBam shifted from foot to foot. Jackson was turning his back, and all at once he was regretting it, the fact that Jackson was leaving after so much continual time together and the sweetness he had shown during BamBam being sick and the elephants and the Christmas lights and the fact that BamBam was in love with him even though their kisses hurt now that it mattered that Jackson was just doing this for entertainment . Before he knew what he was doing, he'd reached out and grabbed Jackson's sleeve.

 

Jackson turned around slowly. “Want something else, Kunpimook?”

 

“I want to be good enough...” he murmured.

 

“Good enough?”

 

“You've taught me so many kisses, but... not the important one.”

 

“Which is...?”

 

“The kiss that will be enough to make the person you love love you back.”

 

Jackson lifted his eyebrow and smiled. “Well. I have to admit. I don't know that one.”

 

“You don't?”

 

“I don't. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll figure it out on your own. You're much better than you think. You're at the graduate level, so good job. There's nothing more this one can teach you.”

 

Stepping back, he let BamBam's fingers slip from his shirt, and this time BamBam had to let him go, knowing that it was probably for good. They'd see each other again, certainly, but never as before. There was never going to be a way to go back to begin with, but now when he was going forward, he would be doing it alone.

 

0

 

Though he'd spent most of his winter break in bed, BamBam couldn't help but curl up in it all over again. His energy was seeping from him a second time, and he almost wished he could blame it on a fever. Was this how people felt when they broke up with someone? He hadn't been able to get that far, but maybe that was the feeling this was the closest to. Everything hurt, but it was all in unidentifiable places. Nothing painkillers could pinpoint, nothing the remains of the fruit juice Jackson had bought him could soothe.

 

Jinyoung arrived at six with Mark in tow. They both looked so damn happy to be together again that BamBam could barely even look at them. Maybe it would be okay. After all, Jinyoung's love story had begun close to this, pouting in bed over a broken heart only to fall in love with someone who adored him wholly, someone whose eyes lit up whenever he was around and smiled as if that singular moment was the happiest he'd ever been. Perhaps that was what was waiting for BamBam at the end of everything. Just because he couldn't see it now didn't mean it wasn't there.

 

“Hey Bam-” Jinyoung trailed off, setting his suitcase down. “Are you okay?”

 

“Recovering from a fever,” he muttered.

 

“Still? That was a few weeks ago, wasn't it? Jackson texted me about how to steam vegetables for your soups, and I know it was before Christmas that you got sick.”

 

“I'm fragile. It takes me a long time to feel better.”

 

“All right... wait, are you Hindu now?” He glared at the rows of Ganesha statues by BamBam's bed.

 

“They're for warding away disease.”

 

“Look, you can't actually expect me to let you keep those here, think of the atmosp-”

 

Mark placed a hand on Jinyoung's arm, and he fell silent.

 

“BamBam,” Mark said. He was so good at sounding patient, wasn't he? “It's not the fever, is it?”

 

BamBam shook his head affirmatively.

 

“Want to talk about it?”

 

BamBam considered. He didn't really want to talk about it. It was bad enough that Yugyeom knew, and he didn't want more and more people to be aware of his sorry state and feel pity for him over it. But it was Mark who was asking, Mark who had been in his shoes once thinking he'd blown his chance with Jinyoung. And Jinyoung who'd also suffered from a similar misunderstanding. If anyone knew what to say, it would be them. Maybe it wouldn't be what he wanted to hear, but the two of them had gotten love to work, after all. Maybe if it hadn't been too late for them, it wouldn't be too late for him.

 

He sat up in bed. “Mark, how did you tell Jinyoung you loved him?”

 

Jinyoung immediately started sputtering, even though the question hadn't been directed at him. “Why do you have to keep asking these personal questions all the time?”

 

“Because of Jackson,” Mark said matter-of-factly.

 

“Huh?” Jinyoung asked at the same time BamBam yelled, “How do you know about it?”

 

“I live with the idiot, so I pick up on a thing or two,” Mark reminded him.

 

“But you've barely been over there! And what has he been saying about me?”

 

“Nothing. And Jackson saying nothing is ten times more suspicious than Jackson saying something since he doesn't shut up most of the time. Like if Henry comes over, and I ask him 'How is Henry?' I get a four hour speech. If I ask 'How is BamBam?' I get shifty eyes and 'Oh, he's fine.'” Mark sat down next to BamBam on the bed. “I'm not going to ask what's going on between you two if you don't want to talk about it. But you like him, right?”

 

BamBam sighed, but nodded. Jinyoung looked shocked all over again, but thought the better of saying anything.

 

“And you don't know how to tell him that?”

 

He nodded again.

 

“Okay. Then I'm not sure I set a really good example with Jinyoung. I kind of... took advantage of a misunderstanding he had, then completely jumped the gun by kissing him before actually doing the confessing part, which made him misunderstand even more.”

 

BamBam cleared his throat. “Well...um... maybe the gun has been jumped a little bit in this case, too?”

 

Mark grimaced. “Figured as much. I also have a feeling that the 'taking advantage of a misunderstanding' part is happening, too. If so, I need to have a long talk with Jackson Wang about accusing me of idiot behavior when he's guilty of the same thing.”

 

“Or maybe...” Jinyoung looked at BamBam cautiously. “It's Jackson, so Jackson probably thinks he's being obvious, and he probably is, but when he's being obvious, he's harder to take seriously than ever. Still, idiot behavior, I guess.”

 

“What are you talking about?” BamBam asked. “Anyways, isn't it you he got the idea from, Mark? He says Westerners like you do things like casual goodnight kisses with people all the time.”

 

Jinyoung glared at Mark suspiciously, but Mark just rolled his eyes. “That's completely made up. You'd only do that with someone you were dating. Or to your kids. A lot of people here have that weird idea, but he definitely didn't get it from me.”

 

“Well, what am I supposed to do? How did you get Jinyoung to date you if you messed up so much?”

 

Mark's eyes narrowed. “This kid gets blunt when he wants to, huh.”

 

“Told you,” Jinyoung said.

 

“I spelled it out. Every little thing. If misunderstanding is the problem, you have to make them understand by leaving no room for confusion. If you do that much, he should do the same. Although it is Jackson, and he might not say it in a way that sounds serious. But even he can be serious about things, don't forget that.”

 

BamBam nodded. That was the whole problem, wasn't it? Maybe Jackson had been serious about all of it or none of it or some of it. But he didn't know. And he'd let the whole thing end on him without knowing or letting Jackson know where he himself stood.

 

“So... you should go talk to him, right?” Mark said, patting BamBam's arm.

 

“Right now?”

 

“It's better not to let it go for too long, right?”

 

“Okay...” BamBam slid out of bed and neatened his rumpled clothes. He looked at Jinyoung this time. “And... what am I supposed to do if I'm rejected?”

 

Jinyoung sniffed. “What, you don't remember the advice you gave me? 'At least you know where you stand'?”

 

BamBam winced. “I said that, huh.”

 

“Yeah, and it royally pissed me off, by the way. But you also said there was probably someone else for me, and I'd have fun finding them. Which is what happened, so maybe you were on to something with that, at least.”

 

He nodded. Maybe starting at square one wasn't a soothing thought now, but it would probably be one day, knowing that there could be a day when the love wasn't felt by him alone.

 

BamBam trudged through the snow towards Jackson's dorm. He wondered what he'd been thinking earlier, saying he could borrow Mark's ripboard and go back to the skate park when the weather was still like this and probably would stay like this for the next few months. Now that he thought about it, him saying that had probably been the thing to annoy Jackson, since it sounded like he was hinting that he was eager to have a reason not to spend so much time with him. Why did he say such stupid things when he was trying not to be awkward?

 

He paused at the road leading to the Student U. He felt like he could use some comfort food before launching into this whole thing. Maybe it would be Thai night again, and he could binge. And maybe that would occupy him for three hours so by time he finished, it would be too late to go visit Jackson. That sounded pitiful, even to himself. And Jinyoung would kill him if he came back now.

 

He was about to start walking again when he saw Yugyeom coming out of the Student U. Now here was a distraction he could afford to take; since Yugyeom already knew the situation, his advice would be the most helpful. He waited on the road for Yugyeom to get closer and notice him standing there, but right when he was about to call out to him, he noticed the other figure walking a little bit behind him.

 

Jackson.

 

BamBam squeaked and dove behind the nearest structure, which wound up being the sign listing when the school was founded and who was currently the school president. It was a squat sign, and the snow on top of it wasn't enough to hide his hat and hair, so he could only hope the darkness would disguise him the rest of the way.

 

“Yah,” Jackson called out to Yugyeom. Yugyeom turned around lazily; he was in the middle of chowing down on a chicken skewer, and like whenever he was eating, he couldn't be bothered by most things.

 

“Oh. You.” Yugyeom said stiffly. Oh god, this already wasn't good. Yugyeom and Jackson generally got along well, but Yugyeom wasn't going to be jumping up and down about him with what he knew. BamBam could only hope that he wouldn't mention it. Or that Jackson wouldn't mention it. He hoped they would just exchange holiday pleasantries and move on.

 

“Have a nice holiday?” Jackson asked. There, just keep talking about that.

 

“Great. You?”

 

“It was rough at first, man. Poor Kunpimook got a fever, did he tell you?”

 

“Oh yeah, really rough. It must have killed you not to put your hands on him. Poor you.”

 

Oh no. Not good.

 

“What, is someone bitter that I got to him first?”

 

“The only thing I'm bitter about is you treating it like a game. Do you have any idea about how he feels, or do you only care about how you feel?”

 

“I know how he feels,” Jackson said, his voice sounding uncharacteristically dark. “Don't you?”

 

BamBam froze. What, Jackson knew? Why hadn't he said anything? Or was that why he'd graduated BamBam, because he knew and didn't want it to go any further? If that was true, it really was hopeless. There was no point in confessing if he already knew the answer.

 

“Of course I know, I know better than he does, unless he's clued in since then,” Yugyeom snapped. “All his talking about feeling 'chest fuzzies' to me, how could I not know?”

 

“Great. That's great. Congratulations. Glad I didn't ruin him for you, then. But just so you know, how good of a kisser he is? That's all on me.”

 

Oh .

 

BamBam could practically hear Yugyeom's composure snapping, exemplified by his throwing his half-eaten skewer on the ground, something he would usually never do. “I know what you're thinking. Instead of explaining to you what a delusional idiot you are, can I just skip to the part where I beat you up?”

 

“Oh, you want a piece? Bring it on!”

 

Yugyeom wasted no time. BamBam had to wonder if Jackson even remembered that Yugyeom was a head taller than him and could punch like a beast when he'd issued his threat, but if not, he was probably being clued in now. Yugyeom's first punch didn't hit, but the second one definitely did. It was hard to see in the dark, but it looked like it landed around the jaw area.

 

BamBam stumbled out from behind the sign and ran at them. Jackson was fighting back pretty well now, and if no one did anything, one of them would wind up seriously hurt. Or a teacher or staff would find them and they'd risk suspension. Jackson was king of getting detentions-- which at their university amounted to the professor alerting your dorm director that you weren't allowed to go out during free hours, a minimal punishment at best-- but throwing frogs at people in lab or drawing mustaches on them was one thing. Getting into a physical altercation was another.

 

BamBam vaulted onto Yugyeom's arm, pulling it back before he hit Jackson again. “Guys, don't fight, don't fight,” he yelled. “Seriously... just stop.”

 

“Come on, BamBam, he's asking for it.”

 

“Kunpimook.” Jackson at least looked ready to stop fighting. Judging from how red his cheek was where Yugyeom had hit him, BamBam couldn't blame him. “I'm serious. I wasn't going to say anything before, but...”

 

“What is it?” He still had to wrestle Yugyeom back, which was no easy task given their height difference.

 

“That there's no point in dating that guy if I'm just going to steal you away, anyways, so just rethink it already, yeah?”

 

Yugyeom stopped trying to lunge forward, which was a good thing since BamBam completely lost his grip on him, anyways. He stared at Jackson dumbly. What? WHAT!?

 

“Date what guy?” he asked.

 

“This idiot thinks we have a thing,” Yugyeom said, rubbing his shoulder.

 

“We? We as in you and me? Us?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Why are you two playing dumb?” Jackson insisted. “You're always chasing after him, and this morning you said yourself that this whole thing was about making the person you love love you back. If it's not him, then who the hell are you trying to become the world's best kisser for?”

 

“Oh god, this idiot.” Yugyeom swung his arm again. “BamBam, can I please punch his lights out?”

 

“I wasn't trying to become a good kisser for anyone in particular,” BamBam muttered. “Anyways, you were the one who started it, why are you acting like it was my idea?”

 

“Because you jumped on it pretty quickly for someone who didn't want to become good for anyone in particular.”

 

“That's because...” He bit his lip. “One, because I really didn't want to embarrass myself when the day came for me to kiss someone I loved. And two... I let it happen because...”

 

“Because?”

 

“Because it felt good,” BamBam whispered.

 

“Well, yeah, I'm good at it, that was the whole point of convincing you to do it with me in the first place.”

 

“Maybe so, but it gave me chest fuzzies and when I found out what the chest fuzzies actually were, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have just happened if it was only because you were good at it.” He glanced back at Yugyeom. “Um, does Yugyeom really need to be here for this?”

 

Jackson glared at Yugyeom. “So this guy really isn't who you're in love with?”

 

“He isn't.”

 

“Then fine. He can go. I'll be thanking him for that punch in the jaw later though.”

 

“I can't wait to thank you even harder, in that case.” Yugyeom glanced down at BamBam. “I don't know why I'm telling you this because I'd almost rather you date a sewer rat at this point, but you're going to have to explain to him about your chest fuzzies. Because I don't think he actually understood a word of what you just said.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah. Or you could just abandon this whole thing and become a priest. I'll help you on the path to ordination. Call me if you need me. I won't be far in case someone needs his kicked again.”

 

BamBam waited for Yugyeom to be at a safe distance before turning back to Jackson. He had his hand pressed up against his cheek and was muttering curses underneath his breath.

 

“Er... is it all right?”

 

“Yeah, it's fine.”

 

“You didn't get any cuts, or anything?”

 

“Nah, it's not bleeding inside. I forgot how strong that kid is, so it was my bad.”

 

“You shouldn't have jumped to conclusions about him.”

 

“I'm not sure what I was supposed to think when you usually do your best to be with him 24/7, but if I was wrong, I was wrong. Fine. Who was it, then? The person you want to give the kiss good enough to make them fall in love with you?”

 

“If you want to know the answer to that enough to go one-on-one with my best friend, you should be able to answer two things before I tell you.” He lifted two fingers. “One: what did you mean by saying you wanted to convince me into doing this with you? If I had said 'no,' you would have tried to make me change my mind?”

 

“Well, yeah. I thought you were into Yugyeom, and I believed the best way to lure you away would be to use my body. Like, if you convince the body, the mind follows, right? Besides, I had confidence enough in my skills that I was sure it wouldn't take all that long.”

 

“Then question two. You're talking about stealing and luring me away because...” He took a deep breath. “Could it be... maybe... you were doing all this because you love me?”

 

Jackson looked at him like he was an idiot, which made BamBam want to sink it to the ground and possibly die. At least up until Jackson said, “Why are you asking? I already said that I did.”

 

BamBam's heart was pounding, and after hearing that there was really no reason to be stubborn anymore because the love was doing spectacular things like making his whole body feel like it was on fire while at the same time flushing it with energy like it wanted to burst into a celebration dance, but really, what the hell was Jackson talking about?

 

“No you didn't.”

 

“Yes I did.”

 

“I think I would remember.”

 

“I would think you would, too, since I've said it several times, including recently.”

 

Wait, was he supposed to take all the times Jackson said “I love you Kunpimook” as serious love confessions? Because if so, wasn't Jackson in love with everyone? Was this the moment he was going to announce he was a swinger and BamBam was his latest catch?

 

“Those don't count!”

 

“Why wouldn't they? Was I supposed to give you a diamond necklace each time to prove my sincerity?”

 

“No... but you say I love you like that to Mark all the time. How was it any different with me?”

 

“It was different exactly because it was you. Wasn't that obvious?”

 

“No! And besides, you stopped saying it to me after we started... my lessons. Up until the last time.”

 

“Because I was conveying it clearly with my kiss, it wasn't as necessary to say it often. Duh.”

 

“Duh? DUH? Do you want me to call Yugyeom to come kill you? How was I supposed to know any of this?”

 

“It's not my fault you're slow, okay? I was making all of this as clear as day.”

 

Just give up being mad, okay?, the love coached him. He loves you. Loves you. You can forgive the idiotic tactics for that, right? Besides, you liked them.

 

“Anyways, who's the one you love?” Jackson repeated. “I have to get to work stealing you from them.”

 

“Well, bad news for you. This person will be pretty much impossible to steal me from.”

 

“I don't believe it. This is me we're talking about.”

 

“Exactly. It's you.”

 

“Huh? Wait.” Jackson's forehead wrinkled. “Rephrase that.”

 

“You're the one I'm in love with.”

 

Jackson looked so surprised that BamBam almost burst out laughing, as used as he was to Jackson's take-things-as-they-come bluffing. He'd been so set on the idea of BamBam loving someone else that even his natural confidence hadn't clued him into the fact that it was him. BamBam relished that look, which was reward enough for all the confusion Jackson's roundabout but apparently “obvious” methods had put him through.

 

Jackson cleared his throat, trying to recover his composure. “Ah. Well. You know, if you had just said that in the first place, we could have just been making out without the lesson pretext and all of this would have been so much simpler.”

 

“I didn't actually realize it until after you pulled that little trick on me.”

 

“It wasn't a trick, Kunpimook. It was an honest to god tactic. All is fair in love and war. And if it worked, all the better.” He finally dropped his hand away from his face and stepped forward. “So. Kunpimook is finally mine, huh. I knew this day would come. What else but my kisses could get your heart racing like that?”

 

“I thought that was a bad habit I needed to work on?”

 

“It was what I was going to use to keep you from graduating.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah. But it's fine if it's with me, right?”

 

“But you already graduated me this morning, so...”

 

“Yeah. When you graduate you move on to bigger and better things. So you get to graduate into being my lover. Sound good?”

 

BamBam hadn't imagined a single word would cover his body in non-winter related goosebumps, but “lover” certainly did the trick. He hugged his arms close to his chest, trying to keep the resulting shiver at bay. “Sounds good,” he murmured.

 

“Good.” Warm hands reached out to cup his freezing cheeks. “Since learning the kiss to make the person you love love you back is kinda pointless now, want to just kiss like two people who already love each other and forget that other stuff?”

 

“Yes,” BamBam whispered right before his lips were snatched up in a kiss that resulted in a burst in his chest which put all other chest fuzzies he'd experienced to shame.

 

0

 

“I'm not going to stay at this table if you bring him here,” Yugyeom said, glaring at Jackson. There was some faint discoloration on his cheek, but nothing like the bruising that was starting on Jackson's jaw.

 

“Since when did you sit here, anyways?” Jaebum asked. “I see you enough in the dorm, I don't need you around at lunch time, too.”

 

“New semester, new schedule. BamBam and I have this time open for lunch, unlike before. I was hoping someone else's might change, but I wasn't so fortunate.”

 

“Hey, Yugyeom, my man, I have no beef with you now,” Jackson said, taking the seat next to Mark and pulling BamBam down with him. “It's all water under the bridge.”

 

“For you. If BamBam didn't insist upon the fact that he likes you-- hopefully a temporary delusion-- I would not approve of this relationship. At all.”

 

“Wait, you two are dating?” Youngjae asked, glancing between Jackson and BamBam. “BamBam, are you crazy?”

 

“Youngjae, dating Jackson Wang is a privilege," Jackson said. "Don't be jealous because you were not so fortunate.”

 

“Shut up,” Jaebum said, rolling his eyes. “Did you two have something to do with this?” he asked, looking at Mark and Jinyoung. “You said you would set them up if they left Jinyoung's room open for you two. Not fair. I was going to make it work with him and Yugyeom so Youngjae and I-” He trailed off, flushing. BamBam wondered if this meant Youngjae had successfully passed his exams.

 

“Hell. No.” Yugyeom said.

 

“I had nothing to do with this,” Jinyoung said. “Mark kicked BamBam out of our room, and apparently that led to the two of them getting weird with each other and ending in this. I won't complain, though.”

 

“Getting weird with each other?” Jackson protested. “It's love, Jinyoungie! Love! Wouldn't you know that better than anyone?”

 

BamBam smiled, in spite of how annoyed everyone else looked. Every time he heard the word 'love,' all the beautiful feelings in his chest would roar in triumph. He was loved. What a beautiful feeling. Under the table, he took Jackson's hand and squeezed it. No one else had to understand. It was enough that he did now. It was enough that it had ended like this.

 

“Ugh, BamBam, that look on your face is so cheesy,” Youngjae said.

 

“You should look in the mirror after you come out of the room after your 'Jaebum time',” Yugyeom muttered.

 

“Why is anyone making fun of each other over this here?” Mark wondered. “We're all guilty of it at this point.”

 

“I'm not,” Yugyeom reminded him.

 

“Kunpimook's the cutest, anyways,” Jackson said, pulling his cheek. “Live with it, Youngjae.”

 

Youngjae rolled his eyes, but he was smiling now. They all were. A pair of hands squeezed his underneath the table, and BamBam was almost 100% certain his smile was the widest of them all.

 

 

 

A/N: Once again, last up (in a few days) will be an epilogue. Thanks for reading and leaving comments, I love you all!!
Oh, and for anyone who hasn't already messaged me asking about this, YES there will be a 2jae story as the final installment in the series ^_^

Also, let's keep doing our best for "If You Do"!!!!!!!!!