Never Really Growing Up

First Year High School

“I can’t believe you actually let yourself get hurt,” Seulgi shook her head as she rubbed some medicine on Wendy’s new found wound.

“Ouch!” Wendy jerked, she was sitting on the couch, turned slightly towards Seulgi.

“Stay still!” Seulgi held Wendy’s arm and proceeded to put a thin layer of medicine on Wendy’s elbow.

“But it hurts!” Wendy pouted, tensing from the pain.

“If you didn’t go outside to get that stupid pizza, you wouldn’t have this,” Seulgi finished putting on the medicine. She noticed their hair, Wendy’s was dark brown, and Seulgi had yet to dye hers yet, it was black.

“But it was nice outside and I didn’t want to a poor delivery guy to have an extra delivery,” Wendy looked at her treated wound. It would definitely leave a scar.

“Then you should’ve let me get it,” Seulgi said as she put a Band-Aid on Wendy’s wound, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

“But then you would’ve gotten hurt,” Wendy looked at Seulgi.

“No, I wouldn’t have,” Seulgi glared at Wendy, Wendy was too childish for a high schooler sometimes.

“But I don’t want to bother you,” Wendy said, childish look unwavering.  Seulgi’s glare softened. Seulgi sighed, she felt like such a high schooler; crush on her best friend in all its glory. It was times like this where Seulgi felt like such a bad best friend, having such a crush on her best friend it hurt her.

“You’ll never bother me,”

---

Second Year High School

“Oh my god, it’s so simple. You just carry this number over here and put this here, subtract this, then multiply it and you’ll find x is equal to 34,” Wendy felt exasperated, this had to be the eighth time she’s tried to explain this math question.

“But that makes no sense!” Seulgi ran her hand through her hair in frustration. She noticed her orange dip-dye was starting to fade a bit. She looked at Wendy’s blue dip-dye, it was still bright as ever, no different than its owner.

Seulgi really wasn’t following along to what Wendy was saying, but Wendy was a little loud and the two were in a library. Seulgi wouldn’t be surprised if they got kicked out.

They did.

“That was fun,” Wendy laughed as they started to walk to the bustop to go home.

“How was that fun?” Seulgi stared at Wendy with a weird look. Seulgi hated herself for thinking Wendy looked absolutely unhuman with that smile on her face and eyes shining. “We just got kicked out of a library!”

“Oh c’mon Seul, take it lightly,” Wendy looked at Seulgi with a smile. Seulgi hated the world, and it was all Wendy’s fault, it really was. Who did Wendy think she was, making Seulgi feel things she shouldn’t feel for her best friend.

“How can you take things lightly? Exams are next week,” Seulgi said as she saw the bus coming.

Then she felt Wendy grab her hand and drag in the opposite direction they were supposed to go.

“Wendy, what are you doing?” Seulgi still thought Wendy was unbelievable, she never seemed to fight the thought though, “The bus is coming,”

“Taking you to get some of your favorite ice cream,” Wendy said, not looking back, not letting go of Seulgi’s hand either.

“But I have to go home and study,” Seulgi argued with Wendy, when did they not argue?

“You already studied today, don’t you think you deserve a break?” Wendy looked at Seulgi with an innocent face.

“I don’t have a choice, do I?” Seulgi gave up, sighing as she knew how this would end.

“Nope,” Wendy’s smile was bright. Seulgi couldn’t help but smile too.

“You don’t have to do this, you know that,”

“Anything for you,”

Seulgi was going crazy.

---

Third Year High School

Seulgi felt something sad churn through her mind as she looked at the Wendy in front of her. She was still the same Wendy, beautiful despite the scars, childish despite the seriousness towards school, and bright despite everything that’s happened.

It was weird feeling like this. They were starting to grow up and universities were becoming a bigger deal. Seulgi noticed they looked older too. Wendy’s features were more profound, they didn’t exactly look like babies anymore, and Seulgi swore her eyes were even brighter than before. Wendy shone in Seulgi’s eyes. They were no longer kids who studied in libraries, but kids who could party and still balance school. Stress was starting to become more evident, especially with how bad their eye bags were getting, and how skinny they’ve gotten, and Seulgi didn’t like any of this.

She didn’t like growing up.

She didn’t want to let go of taking care of Wendy when she got hurt and she didn’t want to let go of study dates. She really didn’t want to let go of ice cream dates either.

She couldn’t let go of that.

And she would never be able to replace it either.

She couldn’t replace it with meaningless phone calls just to check up on Wendy if she ever got hurt. It would just show how little time they had for each other. She couldn’t replace it with late study nights alone, and checking her phone for text messages from Wendy that would never come because the latter was busy with her own university course. She couldn’t replace it with quick coffee dates that only lasted how long they stand and wait for their coffee because university was grueling and greedy for everyone’s time.  

They weren’t innocent young kids anymore, they were still kids, but they had an image of the wo