1. PROMISES MADE

Eunsook looked at her reflection in the mirror and adjusted the skirt of wedding gown. Her chubby fingers made to remove an invisible crease from her salmon-pink dress. She had refused to wear white for the occasion. She absently patted her hair as she looked at the second image in the mirror.

Gwiboon, her 17-year-old daughter hovered around her worriedly, “Mom, you don’t have to do this. You know you can always refuse grandpa. He can’t make you marry into the family you despise.” She back hugged her mother anxiously.

Though she silently agreed with Gwiboon, Eunsook wondered how to placate the young girl who was stepping into womanhood. She wondered how to explain the emotions storming through her. She wondered how to put the complexity of relationships in simple enough words for a teenager to understand. Failing to find any words, Eunsook smiled at Gwiboon’s reflection and turned her head to kiss the youngster’s cheek. “I love you, baby. Stop worrying so much. Things will be alright. I promise.”

The dressing room’s door opened and an old woman entered, giving a hesitant smile to the pair. Eunsook ignored her. Gwiboon scowled at the stranger, her father’s mother. She turned her attention back to her mother, “Mom, why do you have to marry his younger brother? Haven’t you already suffered enough?” Gwiboon didn’t bother to hide her antipathy towards her grandmother. Eunsook refrained from admonishing the girl, understanding her profound distress. Gwiboon continued to whisper in her ear, “Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with the same family that has given you nothing but pain? I hate them. Every one of them.”

“My baby. My sweet, adorable, ferocious kitten. They are your family. Hating them will only make you bitter,” Eunsook attempted to soothe Gwiboon while taking deep calming breaths of her own to keep herself from falling apart. She tried to feel upset with her father for forcing her, but couldn’t. She understood his reasons. He thought he was doing the best for her and Gwiboon. In his last stage of cancer, with limited time to live, she did not have the heart to deny him anything. Not even the rest of her life.

The church had only seven people present, including the priest. Her father walked her to the altar with difficulty, Gwiboon walking on his other side to lend him physical support if needed. Eunsook glanced briefly at the groom, Choi Minho. She averted her eyes quickly to hide her shock. Her mind had conjured up all sorts of hideous changes to his face since the last time she saw him when Gwiboon was only eleven months old.

At 45 years of age, Minho resembled his older brother more than in their youth. Eunsook absently thanked god that the Choi family’s oldest son was not in the church. Choi Minho, whom she had tried to not involve in her hatred towards the Choi family in general, had matured into a suavely handsome man. She glanced again at Minho. Only a few months older to her, the tall stoic man had aged well.

Noting her constant glances, Minho turned his face to her and gave her a gentle smile. His expressive eyes reassured her, inexplicably. Eunsook took another deep breath to reign in her chaotic emotions. Even though he was gentle and handsome, this same Minho had left her and Gwiboon alone to fend for themselves after his brother abandoned them one night without any explanations. Even when she filed for divorce and got legally separated from his brother, Minho had kept away. In fifteen years, Minho had not bothered even once to know how they fared. And now, he had agreed to his father’s request to marry her.

Why?

Why was Minho giving up his cherished bachelorhood? Why her? She was his older brother’s ex-wife. She was the mother of his teenage niece. Why? That one word echoed through her mind during the wedding vows. She could find no answer.

Minho behaved like a gentleman and did not touch her more than necessary. He spoke his wedding vows with sincerity. He put the ring on her finger without touching her hand. He even kissed the air instead of her lips at the end of the ceremony. It was as if he was aware how much Eunsook disliked him. Her eyes and stiff body could not hide her sentiments.

Minho offered his arm to Gwiboon at the end of the ceremony, but the young girl’s scowl refused to go away. Minho smiled at her. Gwiboon’s eyes promised him retribution if he hurt her mother. Minho gave a single nod of understanding and then shook his head once to let the scared girl know he meant no harm to her mother.

Eunsook watched their silent interaction. Minho had not changed much. She found him to continue to be a man of few words, preferring to let his actions and eyes do the talking for him. She thought about their last meeting when he still stayed with his parents and had helped her take care of baby Gwiboon as she cried through the night in fever. Gwiboon’s father was lost to the world in a drunken stupor. It was Minho who had helped her calm the sick baby. He was the one to hold baby Gwiboon as Eunsook had given her medicine.

After a stilted lunch with a sulking Gwiboon and uncomfortable Eunsook, Minho bade farewell to the elders to take his new family home. Eunsook’s father asked him to take care of his new wife and step-daughter. Minho bent down to the old man and patted his hand, “I promise to take care of them. Your trust in me will not go waste. I will keep my promises that I made today.” Eunsook and Gwiboon took their small pile of luggage and left with Minho.

He was apologetic when showing them around his small one-room apartment. It was clear that he was unwilling to take any money from her, unlike his older brother. He smiled ruefully at them while they arranged their clothes and stuff in a shared wardrobe and dresser, “I am sorry for the cramped quarters. I will get a bigger apartment when my next raise comes through. I know you are used to a better life.”

Gwiboon snorted, “We lived in a two-room apartment. How do you expect us to live in a single room now?”

Eunsook put a hand over her daughter’s arm to silence her. Minho patted the girl’s shoulder and softly promised, “I will get another job. I promise to shift us to bigger living space very soon.”

“It’s alright Minho. Do not worry. We will manage. Gwiboon will learn to adjust here only. Give her some time,” Eunsook tried to smoothen out their new beginning. She went to the tiny kitchenette to prepare some tea. Minho followed her after giving Gwiboon the remote for the tv.

“You are my responsibility now and I take all my responsibilities seriously. I am sorry that this is all I can afford at the moment. I am already interviewing for part-time jobs. Once I get any, first thing on my priority list is to move to a bigger place so Gwiboon can have her own room. She naturally feels uncomfortable sharing the same room with me,” Minho softly assured Eunsook.

Eunsook opened the refrigerator and found it stocked with juices. She selected one for Gwiboon and handed it to the girl. She returned to the kitchen to finish preparing the tea and offered one cup to Minho. Only when she had taken a few fortifying sips did Eunsook begin to speak again, “Why Minho?”

Minho looked at her, arranging his thoughts coherently. He wasn’t sure if anything he said could allay the pain in those two words. He still tried, “I was ashamed. I know you were not happy with my brother. I knew how badly he treated you and yet I never did anything to correct him. Our parents never tried to help you with him. We stood by as mute spectators, hoping your love for him would be enough to turn him into a good husband and father. We watched silently from the sidelines without making any effort to help you. And then one day he left you and two-year-old Gwiboon. I did not know how to face you. I had no words to express my sorrow or my regret. As time passed, my guilt at my silence compounded and continued to hold me back.”

When Minho stopped speaking and sighed into his cup, Eunsook looked up from her contemplation of the floor. She saw the pain etched into every line of Minho’s face. An unbidden tear slid down her eye, “Not even one word, Minho? I thought we were friends. You cut us off from your life without a single word.”

Minho stared into Eunsook’s eyes, “I am sorry. I do not have enough words to tell you how sorry I am. I am not asking for your forgiveness. I know it will be impossible. Just give me one last chance. I will not fail you this time. I will not fail Gwiboon this time. I promise. Just give me this one chance to make things alright.”

Eunsook searched Minho’s eyes for signs of pretense but found only sincerity. Minho’s eyes continued to plead. After many long minutes, Eunsook gave a small nod. Minho smiled at her but she found it difficult to return it. They worked together to prepare a simple dinner and talked about what each one had done in the past fifteen years.

While eating, Minho asked about Gwiboon’s childhood and Eunsook by relating some funny incidents. She grinned when Gwiboon began to whine at her and swat her shoulder. Minho smiled, watching their interaction. He considered Gwiboon to be a well-mannered girl, despite the hard time she had given him all day. He hoped to be included in their banter one day.

At night, when Minho converted the three chairs into beds for them, his eyes again spoke of his remorse at not bringing them to a better life with him. Gwiboon tried to make fun of Minho’s limited resources, but one glare from her mother was enough to silence her. Eunsook got Gwiboon to spend her energy in making up the beds. Gwiboon insisted on taking the middle bed that night, much to Eunsook’s and Minho’s unspoken relief.

The new family continued to struggle with their past on a daily basis. Each day was spent discovering new things about each other. Despite Eunsook’s objections, Minho took a part-time job. He would return home past midnight and leave again for work after a few hours and very little sleep. He opened a new bank account and deposited Eunsook’s pay in it for Gwiboon’s education and marriage, insisting that he could earn enough for the family.

Gwiboon sleepily watched her mother wait every night for Minho to return, and get up before anyone else to prepare breakfast and lunch for him. On Sunday, the one day when the three of them had all the meals together, Gwiboon slowly opened up to Minho’s gentle probing about her school and friends. From her life, Minho’s questions moved on to her desires and dreams.

On the morning of her birthday Gwiboon couldn’t stop crying for a long time. All her sassiness towards Minho was forgotten when the said man gifted her a new dress with matching shoes and accessories. They were exactly what she had described in the past few weeks when answering Minho’s queries. Not even in her wildest imaginations did Gwiboon think of owning them. Eunsook beamed at Minho and urged Gwiboon to wear her gifts for her next surprise. Gwiboon finally stopped running her hands over the delicate fabric of her new dress and carefully changed into it in their tiny bathroom.

As she twirled around to admire herself, Minho beckoned her again. She shyly approached him and he put a rolled up wad of money in her hand, “Have a blast with your friends. Be back home by dinner time.”

Gwiboon leaned forward and kissed his cheek, blinking back her tears. She looked at the happy smile on Minho’s face and the way he touched the cheek in wonder. She kissed his other cheek and whispered, “Thank you, dad.” Minho looked at her in shock and seeing the tears in his eyes, Gwiboon hugged him and patted his back to comfort him. When she felt him relax, she called her friends and arranged to meet them in a nearby café.

Eunsook smiled, watching her daughter prance out of the door. When Minho came to sit next to her, Eunsook’s smile did not fade. She mouthed a silent thank you at him, her eyes b with unshed tears. Minho blushed and hesitantly wrapped his arm around her shoulder to calm her. This was the first time that he had touched her since putting the wedding ring on her finger eight months ago. Eunsook hid her face in his shoulders and he gently held her as she sobbed her heart out.

That day marked a change in their family dynamics. On her return, Gwiboon gave Minho multiple hugs and kisses in recognition of his efforts to make her eighteenth birthday extra special.

Minho gradually became used to her calling him ‘dad’ and would smile a little idiotically every time he was so addressed. Gwiboon was sure his face would split in two with the force of his smiles.

When Eunsook got too overwhelmed by her emotions to finish her dinner, Minho calmed her down again and fed her. Gwiboon laughed with each bit of food Minho put in her mother’s mouth. Every time Gwiboon laughed, Eunsook would shed more tears. Gwiboon finally took pity on her mother and began tickling her out of her weepy state. Minho realized how ticklish his wife was and joined in the laughter of his family, as Gwiboon mercilessly teased Eunsook.

That night, Gwiboon refused to sleep in the middle, “I cannot do it anymore. It is difficult to crawl out to go to the bathroom. I am taking the left side bed.” She acted on her words and turned her back to the couple, pulling the comforter over her head.

Minho and Eunsook stared at her, both flushing in embarrassment and wondering how to go to sleep in close proximity of each other. Sighing deeply and avoiding looking at Minho, Eunsook lay down on the middle bed. Minho followed her to occupy the bed on the right. Just as Eunsook was closing her eyes as she lay flat on her back, Gwiboon turned and pulled the pillow out from under her mother’s head.

Eunsook gawked as the girl arranged both pillows for herself and silently pulled Minho’s left arm to lie in place of her mother’s pillow. Eunsook sat up and fidgeted, not sure how to go to sleep. Gwiboon knew that Eunsook could fall asleep only when resting on her right side. But now if she did that, she would face Minho who habitually slept on his left side. All these months both had slept facing Gwiboon in the middle.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be safe.” Eunsook lifted her face to look at Minho’s understanding eyes. When he repeated his softly whispered words, Eunsook lay down with his arm as her pillow. She turned to face him. He smiled reassuringly at her and closed his eyes. She continued to watch him for few more minutes. When he didn’t move a muscle, her body relaxed and she let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

Gwiboon moved her body to occupy half of her mother’s bed, pushing her towards Minho. Eunsook tried to avoid the move, but soft snores from both sides of her stopped her. She lay uncomfortably stiff for some time, and then gave in to her body’s demand to relax and sleep. Shifting closer to Minho was her only way to avoid getting smothered by Gwiboon.

Eunsook blushed and carefully crept closer to Minho till her head was resting on Minho’s upper arm. Minho reflexively bent his arm and Eunsook’s head rolled into his shoulder to bury her face in his neck. She held her breath in panic. But soon needed to breathe. She slowly exhaled and inhaled. Her senses were assailed by Minho’s sleepy scent. She knew he did not like using any perfumes and neither did he need to use any deodorants. With each deep breath she took in of his manly scent that was slowly calming her down, she snuggled closer into his body. Very soon she had fallen asleep.

Minho smiled into Eunsook’s hair. He felt her hands spread over his chest, and forced his own free hand to continue resting over his own leg. He had told her he won’t touch her. He felt her warm breath on his skin. The fruity fragrance of her hair permeated the air. He inhaled deeply and opened his eyes.

Only to meet Gwiboon’s open eyes. The young girl winked at him and turned away with a whisper, “Don’t hurt her.”

Minho continued to stare, in shock, at the back of her head. His eyes closed involuntarily at her next whispered command, “Go to sleep dad. You have to get up in a few hours.”

Eunsook shifted closer to his body, seeking his warmth. He covered them with the comforter and rested his free arm on top of it. He smiled again in Eunsook’s hair and closed his eyes.

Minho fell asleep, feeling a new happiness creep into his heart.