I love the way Hani unnie's eyes sparkle whenever she tells me something. Whenever she tells me about her day, and the like. I love everything about it, I love the way unnie opens up to me. It's just the content of her stories that keeps making my heart breaking.

   Some day last month, it was Kim Heechul oppa that Hani was talking about.

   We were in her appartment unit, rewatching all the episodes of A Style For You online. During one of the episodes, her glimmering eyes turned to me and literally screamed on how awkward she was on the episode Heechul oppa had nice hair. She kept telling me stories of how Heechul oppa was like an "unnie" to her during their shootings, and how he sometimes show affections towards her. How Heechul was kind of cool, and sometimes funny with his sense of fashion, and how he could still pull that look off. She never stopped talking about how close they were during those days, for the rest of the day.

   There was a time it was Kim Minseok, or Xiumin oppa she was talking about.

   I remember, we were in Solji unnie's house, and LE unnie pulled us all to the living room since we have nothing much to do. She asked if we wanted to watch something, and Hyerin suggested to watch the first episode of the second season of Crime Scene. It started off good; we were all laughing while watching the scene where Hani unnie was shocked by Up & Down. Then we continued to the other episodes, til the episode Xiumin first appeared on. Unnie, being the closest to me that day, told me how he was so cute and cool at the same time. In one word, Hani described him as charming, overall. How captivating he was to her, on the episode where unnie was a flight stewardess and oppa was a bar manager. How he was so good in finding clues and turning the tables in hiding the fact that he was the criminal. She told me about their interactions with each other during their shooting of Crime Scene. How she was dismayed that oppa only appeared in just three episodes.

   And, on the same day, Namekawa Yasuo, also known as Kangnam oppa, was the talk between us. 

   We were eating instant ramyun in the dining room when she suddenly remembered the oppa. She recalled how she was "betrayed" when she bought instant ramyun for three of her co-guests in Going To School. Then she continued by telling me how cool Kangnam oppa was. How his height was her ideal height for guys. And how he looks good, especially in their photoshoots.

   But mostly, it was Lee Jaehwan, Ken oppa of VIXX. 

   To be quite frank, Hani unnie's stories about him are the ones that makes me cringe the most. Well, it makes me jealous of all the stories unnie has told me about guys. Maybe it's because it's accompanied with that dreamy look Hani gives when she tells me something about him. How soothing, relaxing and simlpy amazing his voice is to her ears. It made me jealous the most, because I'm known to have the weakest vocals in EXID, and the way Hani unnie keeps telling about his voice. She even played their collab song "Gap" that day, which made my heart filled with jealousy. While she was playing it, she was singing along, and tells me how he made her heart "flutter" when they met in between singing. She even asked me if I liked the song. And that was the first time I faked a smile to her, and gave a "Yes," even if I wanted to just run away from her the rest of the day.

   Jealousy is the ugliest trait. We aren't even in a romantic relationship or something. She isn't even mine, to begin with. So who am I to feel this stupid, painful, agonizing feeling, right? Who am I to feel jealous whenever her eyes sparkle, whenever her cheeks give a wonderful pinkish color, whenever speaks of nothing but compliments about all the guys she is paired with by the fans?

   The air was cool outside. I can feel it blow past the window, to my room. It didn't look like it was about to rain, and it wasn't that sunny outside as well. From my seat, I stood up and closed the windows and let the curtains down. I have decided I want to go somewhere quiet, to get fresh air or something, just to forget about this thing that keeps constricting my heart at least for an hour or so. I carefully changed my clothes into something that would kind of hide who I am, to avoid mobs.

   I wore sunglasses and tied my hair into a ponytail. I stuffed money in my pocket just incase. And with that, I tied my shoelaces and went out of my unit.

   I haven't seen Hani unnie these past days, since she was busy shooting for Law of the Jungle. I haven't hung out with anyone from EXID yet as well, since every after a shooting or performance or documentary, I always go straight to my appartment unit and sleep; partly out of tiredness, partly just because I'm not in the mood to speak with anyone. At least this month in particular; the month I started to realize my feelings for Hani unnie, and the month I started loathing her stories.

   It was quite a surprise to see Hani unnie walking the street towards the appartment with some bags in her hand. Her head turned to my direction, and I acted as if I didn't see her. I acted as if she was air. But when I passed her, I checked my back, and sadly, didn't see her chasing for me, or even looking back at me. She was currently busy typing something on her phone. Maybe she was texting LE unnie to let her know she's near and open their room or something. My heart broke for the nth time already today. 

   I kept walking, to wherever the wind would take me.

   I found myself staring at the drinks from a vending machine. I don't quite recall how I got here, I just kept walking until I found a path I never took and found my way here. It was a dead end, and the only things I see around me is a phone booth, this vending machine and a few benches occupied by artists of some sort, painting the scenery or the sky.

   I inserted a bill and chose a bottle of iced tea. Maybe after I consume all this, I'll go back to the appartment and take a rest. After the machine dropped the bottle down the claiming chute, I grabbed the bottle and opened it to take a sip, letting the cool liquid make its way down my throat.