The next day, I revert back to my old ways.

Leftover mascara clung to my lashes and I wiped away whatever eyeliner was left smeared on my face. I pulled on my skinny jeans, one of the only pairs I owned, much loved with holes in the knees and patches under the pockets. Since it was a warm day, I decided on a regular grey t-shirt, one my roommate bought me just to make me wear something that was actually my size. Surprisingly, it became my favorite piece of clothing, next to my shoes of course, which came on next.

The messy mop of hair on my head remained unbrushed and still had a few curls from the day before stuck in it. Looking at myself in the mirror for a brief moment, I scowled and moved on to the kitchen. I left myself ten minutes before I had to leave which gave me enough time to eat a bowl of cheerios and heat water in the kettle. After eating, I poured the hot water into a to-go mug with instant coffee and grabbed my bag.

I walk out of the apartment, locking the door behind me and turn to see Kyungsoo on the head of the stairs, waiting. This startles me and I jump, grabbing my chest and quickly recovering with a scowl and a sip of coffee. “Jesus. Good morning, creep.” I wave it off and head down the stairs, Kyungsoo on my tail.

I’m met with a laugh as he responds, “My name’s Kyungsoo, not Jesus. I thought you would’ve actually remembered this time.”

I scoff, “Right, sorry, I guess you’re just not that memorable.” Sarcasm dripped heavily from my voice and Kyungsoo faked a hurt gasp.

“Wooow.” I shrug.

When we reach the bottom of the three flights of stairs, I walk over to my bike, chained to the rack by the front office. The hand-me-down Schwinn knock-off was a faded red, almost brown from all the dirty caked on it. It was obvious I had never washed it nor did I ever plan on it.

I swing my leg over the seat, mounting the bike. Looking up, Kyungsoo is staring at his feet, shuffling the dirt with his newer sneakers. I wasn’t naïve and could tell he was fighting to request something of me and I knew exactly what was on his mind.

“Let me guess, you don’t have a bike.” He shakes his head, looking up at me. “ to .” I mutter. Hearing this, he frowns at me, pleading with his soft eyes. I sigh heavily and pat the padded rack on the back tire. Good thing my roommate liked to ride with me on occasion, so I had the seat prepared. Kyungsoo smiles and uneasily sits behind me, holding on to my back loosely. I roll my eyes and move his hands so their around my waist. “Don’t be a little kid.”

The position was a bit awkward, considering he was a bit too tall and his feet nearly touched the ground, but luckily it was an easy and short ride to school.

At the school, I chain up my bike and ruffle my hair. Kyungsoo waits to walk me to class, to which I try to ignore and just make my own way through the crowds. This new friend was a bit clingy I’d found. At my fifth period classroom, I turn to face him and give him a dirty look before opening the door. He grabs my shoulder as I turn and runs a hand over the nape of his neck nervously. “Can I, uh, have your number, maybe, in case I need to get in touch after school?”

I just look blankly up at him. “I don’t have a cellphone, so no, you can’t.” I look at nothing in particular in the back ground. “I leave the school at 2:07 at the latest, so if you want to ride back home with me you have until then.” Kyungsoo nods and I walk in to the room as the five-minute warning bell rings.

.

The rest of the day moves at a snail’s pace. The clouds inch their way across the sky and I wonder what it would be like to have a purpose like they do. To have a place to belong and a place to go. To tell of what’s to come by just existing. To have a malleable shape that changes with the wind. What would it be like to be a cloud? Seeing the world from high above, free from worries or stress. Free to roam with the wind, to see what the world has to offer from afar. To feel the sun at your back and cry knowing it is helping someone.

In each class I choose the window seat this time, avoiding awkward eye contact with classmates.

That is, except philosophy, where the classroom has no windows, making me feel like I’m trapped in a cage, cold and medieval with the concrete brick walls. This quickly became my least favorite class, driving home the point when the teacher, a new lady at the school, made me participate in a class activity where I had to try to explain some quote in a team of druggie kids with more issues than brain cells left.

Luckily this was my final period before I could leave, so I didn’t mind the agony for long.

The bell rang and I smiled, realizing I had the rest of the evening to myself.

.

By 1:55 I was done with my classes and ready for summer break, a great way to start my last school year. I made my way through the nearly empty commons and out to the bike rack to wait for Kyungsoo since I told him I would.

Much to my dismay, my other ‘friends’ were waiting by the bikes, messing with each other and trying to look tough and reckless. The wannabe thugs whooped sarcastically as I approached them apathetically. I rolled my eyes and walked right through them to my bike, upsetting a few of the younger guys. Looked like they had some new recruits since the seniors graduated. I start to unchain my bike when I notice the air had been let out of my tires and the caps were missing off the air valves. I threw an exasperated look at their leader, who smiled innocently down at me. “Real cute.” I say, standing to face him. He bowed and ruffled my hair, which only made it look better.

I crossed my arms over my chest, tapping my foot and raising a brow.

“No running away this time, Miss Stella.” The leader smiled grimly. His real name was Kim Jongin, but his cronies called him Brutus after the guy who stabbed Caesar, which, when you think about it, is quite brilliant for a supposedly dumb high school thug. “Where’s our money? We had a deal, remember?”

“Oh, I almost forgot.” I looked around for a second, checking for any students or teachers, though the rack was tucked in a windowless corner. I pretended to rifle through my bag and swung my arm up to punch Jongin square in the jaw, knocking him over into some of his brutes behind him. They all looked stunned for a moment as I pulled an envelope from my bag. I held it to Jongin, who regained his footing and felt his sore jaw as he took the money. “Don’t ever forget who the real boss is here, okay? You’ll get your pay when I give it to you.” I turned to a guy to my left, hiding something behind his back. I held out my hand. “The tire pump, please?”

Just as he handed it over, Kyungsoo rounded the corner and froze, studying the scene. I took the pump and started to put air back in my tires as the boys cleared out, shoving into him as they passed. He crouched in front of me and furrowed his brows. “You okay?”

“Just some friends of mine.” I mutter, putting my anger into the tire pump. His expression showed worry and I still didn’t make eye contact.

“They didn’t look like friends.”

“I know how to hold my own. Just stay out of it and you’ll be fine, there’s nothing to worry about and last time I checked, you had no right getting into my business. I can be friends with whomever I please, thank you very much.” I say all in one breath, stunning Kyungsoo into silence for a minute. I finish with the tires and find the caps nearby to screw on. “Ready?” I ask, climbing on to the bike, looking at him.

He climbs on and holds my waist, less timid this time around.

.

In front of the apartment, I drop off Kyungsoo and stay on the bike, much to his surprise. “You’re not going up?”

“I’ve got errands to run.” I nod my head in goodbye and sped off, glad to have the extra weight off the back. It made the ride more peaceful and easy going.

After turning a few corners, I found myself on my favorite street, a quiet neighborhood road that lead straight for a few miles into town. I closed my eyes and let the breeze blow my hair around, enjoying the late afternoon sun on my face.

.

That’s when I heard the sound I hadn’t heard in a very long time.

That’s when I heard him say my name.

And everything went black.