Vancouver, September 2015

Kris stood by his appartment window, sipping a can of beer and staring at the night view of the city. He’s going to be back to Seoul tomorrow, leaving the city he’s been living for 5 years. He’s going to miss this, all of these, the city, the air, the people, but he had to come back.

His mother was sick, alone in Korea, and as a good son he is, he’s going to be with her there, leaving his job in Canada and going back to Seoul, eventhough going back meant that he has to meet her.

I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home
To tell you I was wrong but you already know

A soft rock song played on the radio and Kris hummed to the song, despite that he never heard the song before.

“I was happy, but now I am not so sure anymore.” That was the sentence she gave him when she dumped him in new years eve five years ago.

Now, he’s thousands miles away from her, but all he could think of, was her.

It’s raining the next day, hard. Kris struggled to keep his back pack dry because there’s his laptop in it. Despite the sort walk from the lobby to the front of the building, Kris could feel his clothes geting damp.

He hates rain, especially in September, because it’s cold and it reminded him of her. They used to play under the rain, he would carry her in his arm, pretending to throw her, but then just put her down, kissed her on the nose, and for being so short compare to him.

Kris nodded to the cab driver when his eyes met his by the rearview mirror. The same song from the night before was played again in the radio. It’s an old rock song and Kris wondered why the song kept playing in the radio, were they mocking him? Kris grimaced at the thought.

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you  

As long as he’s laughing with her, everything is going to be okay. But now, it’s him crying alone and her laughing with the guy with the sport car.

“He’s just a friend, why are you always so jealous? you know it’s only you, it was you and it will always be you.”

“So, it’s not me anymore, huh? It was all lie,” Kris thought bitterly. He almost drifted into sleep when he heard the announcer’s shooting voice, telling the listeners the title of the song. Life after you.

Kris breathed in the Seoul’s air. He never knew he missed this place until he’s back in here again.This place changed a lot from the last time he’s here. Just like his life, it changed a lot. He took his phone from his pocket and called a little bastard he called bestfriend.

“Holy !” the guy from the other line shouted. “You’re not lying when you say you’re going back?”

“No, Luhan, I’m here now,” he smiled.

“Wow man, great to have you back. Same place for dinner? It’s still open you know, even the ahjumma is still there,” Luhan informed him. Kris was strangerly relieved that not all the things from his past changed.

“Alright, I’ll be there at 7. Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah man, I’ll call Minho, see you.”

Kris nodded and hummed as a retort.

“Oh my God, you’re still a tall bastard with a face,” Minho shouted as soon as he saw Kris. Kris knew that he’s friend could be a little loud sometimes so he just laughed at his mark and gave him a friendly hug.

“Well, I miss you too,” he patted Minho’s back and turned around to hug Luhan.

“Yeah Krissy, we miss you too,” Minho mocked.

“How are you?” Luhan asked while chuckling.

“Good, Vancouver has been nothing but nice to me, I’m good,” he returned his friends’ smile.

“We’re happy for you,” Luhan told him. “Really.”

“Sooo, any--- Girlfriend?” Minho asked unsurely.

Kris stiffened at the question. “No, no girlfriend,” he answered.

“Good, because, if you curious, she has no boyfriend either,” Minho shrugged leisurely as if he was talking about the weather. But the thing is, for Kris, it’s far from the light conversation like weather.

“Can we not talk about this?” Luhan sighed.

“Yeah, can we not?” Kris agreed.

“Why? Because it’ hard for you to move on even after five years and it still hurt your heart everytime you think of her?” Minho deadpanned.

Yes. Kris answered it in his head. It still hurted him everytime he thinks of her. His muse, the best thing ever happen in his life, his cutest cuddling toy, his first love.

“Minho,” Luhan warned sternly.

“She still loves you, you know,” Minho muttured quitely.

“Minho, let’s just have fun,” Kris sighed and looked away from his friends.

It was the caffe where their first date took place. They both had latte that day with her asking him to buy her extra chessecake, and he happily stole a few bites from her. It was a good day, the sun shone bright outside and she wore a white dress, matching with the weather. God, she looked so beautiful that day, his beautiful girlfriend.

I must've been high to say you and I
Weren't meant to be and just wasting my time
Oh, why did I ever doubt you?
You know I would die here without you

He hummed to the song in his ipod. He didn’t even know why he bought that song on itunes the night before. This is just wasting my money. He shook his head and entered the caffe.

There’s not much changing in the caffe, only few poster replaced and the paint got brighter. They still had that coffee table at the corner of the room where they put a lot of tisue and straw. Kris remembered he stole a peck from her lips on that very coffee table when she took an extra tisues for them.

“why did they put a coffee table instead of a long table?” he asked her randomly one day.  

She glanced at the said table and turned back to him “they used to put a large vase of flowers there, but I guess costumers need straw and tissue more than flowers,” she answered.

Kris shrugged, “Whatever, for me that corner is where our 10th kiss took place.”

She blushed and Kris laughed.

It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind
Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind

He pulled his earphone out from his ears and approached the counter to order his latte. He glanced around the caffee one more time when he was waiting for his latte, until his eyes landed on one particular person. Her raven black hair that she let loose in her shoulder, wide eyes enganged to her phone, her pink cheery lips sipping graciously on a latte.

God, after all this time, she’s still look unbelievably beautiful. There’s nothing much changed about her, she looked a bit matured, but she still had her wide childish eyes that glint animatedly everytime she saw something she likes. Her ussual untainted face graced with a light make up, making her features stand out, she even look more beautiful to Kris.

Kris approached her hesitantly “Minhee?” he called softly.

She looked up to him and froze at the sight of him. He gave her a sheepish smile and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Kris? Wha—you’re here? I thought you --,”

“Well, I’m back for good,” he cut her off.

Minhee nodded and smiled, “Since when?”

“Yesterday?” he sounded unsure.

Minhee chuckled “How are you, Kris?”

I’m a dead man walking, Kris replied sarcastically inside his head. But “I’m fine” came out instead.

“How are you, Minhee?” He asked, giving himself a permission to sat infront of her.

“I’m fine. So, you would stay here again?” she asked.

“Yup,” he answered shortly, didn’t know what to say.

Minhee sighed “It’s been a long time since I saw you.”

“Yeah, me too,” he stared at her longingly. “So, you still hang out at this caffe?”

Minhee smiled and nodded, “It’s close to my work place, beside they had the best latte, so--,” she shrugged.

Kris nodded at her answer, wondering if he ever cross her mind when she sat here, sipping her latte.

Minhee cleared awkwardly “I heard from Minho you quit basketball,” she asked and  Kris was taken aback.

It’s turned to Kris who was clearing his throat, “Yeah, since I moved to Canada,” he answered. Because there’s no you that will watch my game, so what’s the point.

Kris wanted to asked her about her life, about her family, friends, anything related to her, but Minhee glanced at her phone distractedly and to the glass through window. “Um Kris, I got to go. See you around, yeah? We have to hold a reunion soon,” she said then stood up.

Kris stood up as well and Minhee gave her a friendly side hug. Kris’s heart skip a beat at the warmness that emitted from her. Then they bade goodbye. Kris saw her run happily to across the street, smiled back at a rather dashing guy with a sport car.

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
Without you God knows what I'd do

Now, Kris was sitting alone in a park, listening to the same soft rock song over and over again. This was where they first fighting, and their last. They both were so angry that  time. He was angry jealous at her for spending her time with her little newspaper club and their handsome male president. She was angry and tired for his never ending jealousy that sometimes didn’t even make sense to her.

He said that he’s tired protecting her from hungry men all the time while she was so dense about that and sometimes he thought that dating her was wasting his time. She cried at the hurtful words and said that he changed a lot and she hated that.

They spent 2 days not talking to each other after that, and when they made up, Kris knew that it’s not the same anymore. She broke him up a week later, at the new years eve, saying that she wanted to start new, and starting new means no more him in her life.

 He didn’t do anything, say anything, he just stood their lifelessly. He wanted to kissed away her tears when she said sorry. He wanted to fight for her, but no, he wasn’t doing any of that, because he wanted to stop hurting her and making her cry. So he said yes when his father offered him to go to college in Canada a week later.

Now, Kris was sitting alone in a park, regretting everything that he did in the past, listening to the same rock song, repeating the same words over and over again. I’m sorry, I love you.

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter

'Cause I know there's no life after you

Sooo, it may and may not be Kris and Minhee from My Hobbit and Your Giant I'll leave it to your imagination :p

This is the first time I write such an angsty, what do you guys think????