Ara POV

"Micha, please don’t go.. Micha! Micha!" 

 

My eyes opened  wide and my hands  quickly  grabbed my glasses on the side of the bed. 

 

"Micha!" I shoved the connecting door between our rooms and rushed to his side.  Kneeling on the floor, I switched on his  bedside lamp watching him tossing all over the bed murmuring the same name over and over again. His face cold sweated and the bed is in a rough mess. 

 

"Luhan, wake up," I shook his shoulder lightly and he awoke from his sleep.  He sat on his bed and trying to hide the tears glistening on his red eyes.

 

"I'm sorry Ara, for waking you up." he apologized and gave me a small smile.  I gave him the mini towel from his small bag on the side and he wiped his sweated face.   He wake up from his bed and went to the bathroom. I can't think of anything except him . His expression,  the sadness in his eyes, the name. The name that  always escaped from his lips.  I let out a small sigh.

 

" She never left your heart, huh ? " I muttered under my breath and sighed. 

 

"Ara? Ara?"  he waved his hands in front of me .  I gave him a confused look and he laughed. 

 

"what time is it now? Where is my phone?" he rolled around trying to find his phone under the wild bed of his without knowing the phone had fallen under the side table . I picked up the phone to give him before knocking my hand on the side table

 

There was a rusty nail hidden under the dusty  table and it tore right through my wrist skin. I was too tremble when I saw the blood flowing out from it. I bit my lips to  muffle a scream because I didn’t want to  disturb Luhan that is still busy searching for his phone that is obviously on my hand. I looked up for any clean clothes to stop the gash from flowing more blood.

 

"oh my Ara, you found it? Ara , your hands. " 

 

"Nah, nothing I scratched it a bit. I'm so sleepy  Kay night "  I hid my hands behind my back and quickly get up to my bedroom. 

 

"Hey Hey. " He quickly caught me up with my  injured wrist and sat me onto his bed . He gave me an unproven look and took out the first aid from his bed.  He went to the toilet and came out with a bowl of warm water and towel.

 

"Give me your hands. "  I showed my injured hands hiding my face with my hair let forward and he wiped all the excessive blood  and the wound, it is really big. It tore right onto the wrist and long.

 

"is this little to you?" I shook my head a little and  bit my lips trying not to embarrass myself more. He kneeled down on the floor and give his pouting face to me till I cannot resist myself from peeking under the hair of shame.   He put the ointment onto the wound.

 

"How you want to mend it if the first aid kit is with me.  do you hate me so much  till you didn’t want my help? Look at your hand right now. The blood is flowing out like tap water. It cut so deep inside. You should tell me right away and not hiding it from me.  Tell me why you kept it from me? You always trying to be independent and kept thing like this to yourslef, Ara. Do you hate me so much till you have to run away from me." he blabbered while mending it by wrapping it neat. the pain in my hand is nothing compared to the pain of his words. I tried to control myself from crying in front of him and hid myself more under

 

"Okay done .  Your hand is okay now. You have Luhan here to mend you anytime. Ara, are you mad at me ?Why are you covering your face again? I'm sorry if i hurt your feelings with my words" his waords made me burst into tears. He slipped my hair behind my ears and watch my horrible crying faces.  

 

"Ara, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. you know I never meant anything that i said. " he took his mini towel and wiped the tears from my face.  

 

"I'm sorry for not being a good manager. I should be the one that take care of you, not you.  I should the one that mend your hand right now , not you. I should be the one that scolding , not you . I feel like I'm less capable to do my job. Everyone know that I'm the clumsy stupid incapable manager that make all of chaos every way I go,"  he let out a laugh but still wiped the tears that kept flowing out like a river. He sat beside me on the bed and gave me a hug. My hearts beat faster in this emotional roller coaster. Ahh! i hate how i feel right now. This shouldnt be happening. I'm his manager. i should be taking care of him .  I should be professional .  And now I'm falling for him . Yes I'm falling for you. 

 

"You are a good manager. No Great. No incredible.  You are the most Legend - wait for it- dary Legendary manager I ever have.  I'm the only  artist you handled since we are both freshie and we bonded like crazy. And everything that happen in my world you know it every thing every single detail. Right?" we both laughed and shared some of the weirdest story from having fight for 2 weeks and just passing notes and Ah Liam become our middle person till the one that really bond us is the night we stuck lost in somewhat region in Shaanxi and  crying with each other every time we heard noise  and telling story and afraid to  say the word 'ghost'.

 

"yeah, you have been  3 years with me. Everyday in the three years you are with me from day to night. Your 24 hours is all dedicated to me .    I will not trade you even if the world is given to me . You are special to me. Yes you are special .. To.. Me .. Without .. I know it.. " he tucked a few strand from my face with   his eyes suddenly turned I don’t know different  and stared deeply into mine  pulling  me closer into his arm  without any warning , he kissed me on the lips.  My eyes opened wide shock and feel his lips on mine. I closed my eyes and my lips moved  in sync to his.   I put my hand on both side of his shoulder and let his hand to caress my back.   He feel the return and pull me into his laps and kiss me more deeply. We are kissed each other passionately and we pulled away to take our breath . He opened his eyes and still stared at me.

 

As if he waking up from a dream, his eyes widened and he realized what he had done.

 

" Oh no. This is a mistake. I'm sorry, Ara.  I'm sorry I couldn’t control myself. This shouldn’t be happening." That phrase escaping from his mouths  made me  froze at the spot trying to churn it  into my brains. i could feel the ache on my chest and the tears started to flow. I collect the pieces of myself that crashed into pieces and stood up from his bed to walked back to my own room.  I shut the door and locked it.

 

"Ara! Ara!"he knocked the door furiously.  I couldn’t let my feet to drag me anymore and I cried at the very door that separate both of us.  The tears that I held flow down . I feel so hurt inside.  The heartbreak is unbearable.

 

'This is a mistake. This shouldn’t be happening' The words echoing in my mind louder and louder and louder. There is something that churning the whole body inside and dragging it into more in the dark of sadness.  I cried myself out till my head getting dizzy and dizzier in this freezing room and suddenly darkness taken me and I could not think no more.

 

 

Luhan POV

 

I did not know what has controlled me and before I know it, my lips already on hers . When she kissed back, there is some happiness I felt deep down and we both kissed passionately. Her lips, her body moved in synchronized as if we were both a perfect match. I caressed her back and I pulled more to feel her on me.  When we both pulled from the amazing kiss, my mind snapped and I realized what happened.  Without I know the words already slipped  out from my mouth.

 

" Oh no. This is a mistake. I'm sorry, Ara.  I'm sorry I couldn’t control myself. It shouldn’t be happening.   "  I feel like I wanted to punch myself in the face.  She stand up from the bed and walked to her room. I tried to catch her but she already locked the door.

 

"Ara! Ara!" I could hear her from the other side and it really broke my heart. This is the first time I saw her in another light. I never really realized her presence in my life really this  big.  She always there for me thru ups and down in this world every time and I taken her for granted. How stupid I am trying to chased a shadow of someone that is already moved on from me.  The shadow casted by Micha over me really make me overlooked everyone in this world.

 

For the first time I feel fear in me. What if Ara left? What if she left me like Micha left me ? I don’t want to lose another person that I loved. Yes I loved her . Deep down I know I loved Ara. That is why there is always a tinge of jealousy when I saw her with another guy. I always felt like I must protect her all the time and take care of her not the other way around.  How I love her beautiful eyes shielding under the glasses. Her smile. Her eyebrows frowned every time I .  I love her. I love her!

 

"Ara! Ara! Open this door . I love you, Ara! I love you !" the sobbing has stopped but there is no movement from the other side. I went out from my room and knocked her front door but still nobody opened it. Ara? Is she alright? I rushed myself to the lift but its took  too long .  I dashed down to the lobby from the 10th floor using the stairs.

 

"Mr. Lu. What can we help you ?"  the receptionist asked with frown on her forehead. Her eyes scanned me from my head to toe and her faces red in embarrassment. I just realized that I'm only in my wife-beater that is soaked with sweat and short   running down here barefoot.

 

"its about room next door, 1070. Its my manager's . I already knocked the door but no answer. I tried to open the joint room but its locked. I already called but no one answer. I really need the key to make sure my manager's alright. She told that she feeling sick I'm afraid anything happened at her. " a lie slit passed my mouth but its more convincing rather than I told them that I kissed her and make a mistake by saying it’s a mistake.   I begged her more harder with my eyes. She just nodded and called her supervisor. Both of them whispered in a hush voice before nodding their head.

 

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