Harsh words are being thrown at him again. Eyes full of judgment stare at him that clearly denote that they thought him inferior of them. Arms push him back to the floor as he tries to stand up. And he thinks, why fight it? Why try at all?

He’s trying so hard but it comes so easy to the others. It’s almost as if everything falls naturally into place when they do the least bit amount of effort. But as for him, he has to fight for every single thing. Getting up in the morning is a battle in itself. Finding the motivation to even just try is exhausting. Others do try to help, but their words of comfort become mere buzzes in his ears even softer than the wind, while his self-deprecating thoughts became louder than any sound from his surroundings.

He runs. Just runs away from it all. He runs till his legs fall out from under him. He stops. Catches his breath.  Falls down to the ground and stays there. He looks up at the sky. Sees the patterns in the clouds and wonders when was the last time he had the luxury to do this.

Time passes. It could have been mere minutes. It could have been centuries. All he knows is that he’s at peace for the first time in a long while. He’s able to breathe. No pressure. No expectations. No comparisons. No criticisms. Just him. Living. Existing.

He daydreams, thinking of an ideal place where all his efforts bore fruits. Where he was loved and accepted for who he was. Where criticisms were few and far. He scoffs at himself. Even in his daydreams he still thinks of the criticisms.

He tries harder to imagine a life that’s happier than what he has now. He knows that the imagined place will only be in his mind, that it will only be temporary, and that the bubble he’s currently immersing himself in might be broken soon. His bubble breaks when he heard footsteps and heavy breathing getting nearer and nearer to him.

“Seungriyah, why did you run away?” Jiyong asks.

“Hyung, I just need time to be. Can you let me have it? Just today hyung. Please”, the Maknae pleads.

“Maknae-ah. I know how you feel. We all do. But there are consequences for missing out on your schedule. Be reasonable Ri-a”. Jiyong says with a stern voice, hoping that it might spur the Maknae into action.

Seungri looks at his hyung and sees the barely hidden panic in the latter’s eyes. He wants to be selfish for a little bit more. But Jiyong has always been his weakness. He knows that Jiyong is just trying to protect him.

“Okay. I’m standing up now”. Seungri does as he says. He stands up and starts to walk side by side with Jiyong. He tries to slow the pace, trying to delay as much as possible, but Jiyong takes a faster pace, and he knows he has to keep up. He always tries to keep up.

When the imposing image of the YG Building comes into a view, Seungri’s expression slowly changes. He slowly but surely schooled his features. He now has to once again put on the mask of strength and vitality that he usually hides behind in. Truthfully, it suffocates him, but he lets it be. He can never quite run away from the real world or his life. That’s the way things are. That’s his reality, and he lives with it.