you're the only place my heart has ever been

baekhyun was never too fond of the night.

he longs for the brightness of day, casting its glow across and over the horizon in silence, and the vibrancy of sunlight creeping into every nook and cranny of their dorm as he watches in awe how beams of light travel from the open window down to the floor, and on to the softness of his pillow.

the heat of summer leaves blotches of red on his skin and sweat staining his favorite trainers, yet he will always prefer the sweltering warmth of the sun over the bitter frost of the winter moon.

he has always been fascinated with light, attracted to its luminance and the odd sense of comfort it brings, how a saying that there will always be light at the end of the tunnel wakes him contentedly in most mornings when the sun has barely even risen.

(baekhyun was never too fond of the night, but stars are among his favorite things.)

maybe it is why he thrives under the spotlight, his gentle voice leaving pleasant hums in the ears of thousands upon thousands of fans, or why his smiles are unbarred, free, when activities are scheduled before the sun sets. maybe it is why, from where he now stands in front of a sea of people, baekhyun finds solace—his very own niche in the entirety of the world.

yet, even as he stands tall and professional in the face of fame, there are little things baekhyun keeps to himself, away from the menacing lights of flashing bulbs and probing eyes. there are things meant to be hidden, and there are those that can be feasted on by hungry paparazzis, obsessed fans, and media entities that live on every little scandalous detail an idol should or shouldn't have.

but these things, locked away in clandestine in the dark recesses of his mind, are what matter most to him.

sehun is important, baekhyun confesses to himself one afternoon, basking in the ruby glow of the setting sun as it catches on the smile on sehun's lips, in his eyes that shine like a thousand diamonds across the sea. sehun is beautiful, baekhyun thinks aloud, because the gentle pitter-pattering in his chest is enough to tell him so.

there are people behind the scenes who impose rules on what to feel, what not to eat, what to say, what not to reveal; how to win and break hearts as the years come along, fattening the pockets of those who deserve it less.

but none of them could ever take away the searing pain of longing for someone who smiles like he’s on top of the world, arms wide open as if welcoming the unknown and the unfamiliar. sehun is bewitching and pure, baekhyun reckons, because even if he could be an ocean away, baekhyun finds happiness in knowing sehun can smile without the ache and drag of stardom.

for baekhyun, it is the little things that make his heart swell, like reading off the yellowing pages of an old novel under the light of a lamp, or dwelling in the radiance of a certain crooked grin thrown his way from across the dinner table, hands clammy under the thoughtful glance of a young gentleman. his career overwhelms him with joy and satisfaction and pride, laughing over the video calls he makes to his mom in the early evenings, and he is filled with pleasant hum of butterflies at the sound of soft snoring, lulling him to sleep in those nights he is left pondering over the choices he’s made.

when the demands of the entertainment industry rise to a bile in his throat, choking him down with unease, baekhyun lingers in the darkness of his room, tears obscuring his vision of a faint streak of white from where he hears murmurs of his name. in the absence of light, baekhyun finds warmth through a kiss on his forehead, an embrace so secure that baekhyun is made whole again under sehun’s touch.

they can take away his fame, his earthly possessions and materialistic gains. they can strip him off his natural beauty, caked by layers upon layers of artificiality, and deprive him of himself because the industry asks for more of byun baekhyun for all the world to see.

but there will always be sehun whose eyes danced with mirth with every giggled response to whatever tickled his funny bone, and whose hands held every fiber of baekhyun's being, whose heart swallowed baekhyun whole. there will always be sehun who will understand the world much better than baekhyun ever will, whose words of comfort would lift him off his toes and out of this world. there will always be sehun—that one oh sehun—who will hold baekhyun’s hand and walk him to the light at the end of the tunnel, and will never let go.

and it is in that precise moment, while baekhyun unconsciously stares at sehun’s reflection in the mirror, that the latter catches his gaze—a timid blink, a momentary pause—and holds it. hope and faith and love replace the hint of laughter that was once there, a perpetual smile tugging on his lips only perhaps for baekhyun to see.

sehun is captivating, beautifully and heartachingly so, and baekhyun is in love.