Dark Ties

Title: 5/5

I'm pretty picky when it comes to titles. It's the first thing people see and often is the reason why people click "read" or continue scrolling for other stories. Your story title "Dark Ties" is excellent. It's intriguing, descriptive without giving too much away, and speaks of the ties between Tiffany and Taeyeon. Great job with it! :)

Graphics: 8/10

I thought the poster fit your story very well. It was dark and cold, conveying the tone of Dark Ties. The quote on it, well very fitting, did have a small grammar error on it. Well not a huge deal, it does distract from how lovely the poster is. Instead of "Ties were meant to be, unbreakable" it should be "Ties were meant to be...unbreakable." The background had a great quote and I liked the stars. But as it is a background, maybe something a little less flashy would help not distract the reader?

Description and Forward: 7/10

The description I did like. It pulls people directly into a story of the monsters in Tiffany and Taeyeon's lives. The first sentence struck me as oddly written as you talk about monsters, than list many reasons why the girls are similar. Maybe rewording it to capitalize on their different personalities would work better. I also noticed that you only had the two girls' profiles as the forward. I'm not a huge fan of doing JUST profiles. It gives away what makes the characters unique right away. To counteract this, try putting a small scene from early in the story to counteract this.

Characterization: 7/10

In order to fairly judge the characters, I read the entire story. However I am only going to focus on their actions in the last five chapters. I've got to say that you made Jessica a fireball of spiteful icy fury. She's got to be my favorite character here. Tiffany is sweet to be sure, she's quiet, and she's been through hell. Jessica sweeps back into her life and pulls her from this hell, and Tiffany just gives up. She's more depressed rescued than she is with her parents. I don't really understand why that is...Taeyeon on the other hand keeps going back and forth on what Tiffany means to her. She's unsure if she loves Tiffany, but she's willing to pull a gun on Jessica over her. She's a little confusing, but I did love how she struggled with putting her dedication and need to serve her father well vs. her new found feelings for Tiffany.

Plot: 29/40

The plot of Dark Ties isn't exactly new. It made me think of many other Taeny stories that have been written. But that's not TOO surprising as there's thousands of them. Taeyeon is cold hearted, confused by her emotions and wants to love Tiffany....Tiffany is sweet, adorable, and hiding dark secrets. It's been done. What I liked about your story was the decision to have Tiffany be abused AND Taeyeon be a gangster. The combination of the two very different lives was interesting to read about and gave them both plausible reasons for their behavior. Having Tiffany be kidnapped is familiar, but it will all depend on how it's written. I'm interested in seeing who took her. I highly doubt it's Taeyeon trying to get her back from Jessica. So who took her? It's a big question that many people want to the answer too. :)

Consistency and Flow: 3/5

I would saw the consistency and flow of the story is very nice. The chapters run together well and the flashbacks aren't annoying or oddly placed. Awesome job on that. :) I would say to be careful of character consistency though. There are a few moments where no one really seems to be like themselves. An example would be how Tiffany became depressed after being saved...it reads oddly as it seemed all she wanted was to get away from them.

Reader Response: 4/5

Taeny shippers REALLY like your story. I scrolled through your comments and saw a lot of loving, curious, and dedicated comments there. Readers up vote and they subscribe! There was the occasional confused reader, but I saw you answered them quickly and resolved any problem. Good job. ^_^

Grammar and Writing Style: 4/5

Overall, you have good grammar. I don’t see misspelled words or horribly awkward sentences. I would recommend further fleshing out your descriptions and paragraphs. Maybe with a little bit more detail, your characters will be able to better shine. When there's little description or inner character thoughts, its harder to get into the story.

Overall Enjoyment: 8/10

Your story is interesting, has great ideas and attracts anyone who’s looking for an angsty , edgy Taeny story to devour. It’s not particularly my thing, but that didn’t stop me from appreciating how nice of a story it is. Keep up the hard work and author fighting! <3 <3

Total Score: 75/100 Grade: C