Creat Me With Paint

Title: 4/5

"Create Me with Paint" is actually a pretty good title. It immediately brings to mind a painter and someone being painted. On reading just the description, it makes sense. A painting is brought to life! It's a unique title which means no one else will have it. However, the title can read a little bit awkwardly if you don't know what the story is about.

Graphics: 10/10

Can I just say the design and graphics of your story are amazing? The poster itself took my breath away. It was literally perfect for your story . Its dreamy qualities and the way Lay and Kris were blended into the light colors and painting scenes was beautiful. It clearly gave whoever looked at it a very good sense of what your story is about. The background is so pretty t's just icing on the cake. ^-^ They are both fantastic.

Description and Forward: 7/10

Overall, I think your description is pretty good. It's unique and it catches the eye. I love the way you talk a little about artists and then bring in Yixing and the basic premise of your story. My only problem is a little hickup in grammar, but I'll cover that later. Your forward was VERY short. Perhaps writing a bit more in it would help draw people further in. Maybe talk a bit more about Yixing as an artist? I believe even just a little bit more would be enough.

Characterization: 9/10

As this is a short one shot, your characters have to be able to carry the entire story. To make it even more challenging, you only have two people in the story. Yixing, as the main character, is very intriguing. Stepping into his point of view was easily done and I understood where he was coming from. He's an artist who falls in love with his own painting. I loved him. :) Yifan, because the story was short, didn't really have time to fully develop. We see him come to life and begin to serve Yixing...and then it ends. Their relationship was explored the tiniest bit and kind of made me want to see more of it.

Plot: 35/40

This story is quiet short, hence the plot is very straight forward. When I began reading it, I was interested by the idea of having a painting come to life. I was a bit cynical as I was sure your story was going to be exactly like the many stories of someone bringing home a cat who turns out to be a shapeshifter. It wasn't like that though. You surprised me by having it be imaginative and interesting. Having Yixing fall in love read like a modenr day fairy tale and I could see this as Pixar film. My one problem is how abruptly the end came. It felt like there should be more to it. I saw in your author's note that you were thinking of making a multi-chaptered sequel. I'd encourage you to do it. I'd love to see more!

Consistency and Flow: 5/5

As your story was shorter, the consistency was perfect. There was no changing of names like "Yixing" to "Lay" or "Yifan" to "Kris". The characters stayed true to themselves and the entire story flowed well. Good job!

Reader Response: 5/5

Everyone at some point has liked to do art. Even if they're not good at it or don't like to do it anymore, everyone has finger painted, scribbled and liked to look at artwork. It's a universal language that you captivated in your story. This story doesn't have the attention it deserves, but perhaps a sequel would gain more attention.

Grammar and Writing Style: 2/5

Oh dear, here is where your story has issues. Good grammar can a reader and make them stay, but bad grammar can jar them from it. Your story has a beautiful style of writing which lends itself so well to the fantasy feel of the entire story. However some of the sentences are really awkwardly written. An example would be "The dark sky from the window made him realize it was probably past eleven at night." It reads strangely. Something more like "The dark sky seen through his window made him realize it was long past eleven." The biggest problem is tenses though. You often use past tense and present tense, which is a big no-no. A lot of the awkwardness would be fixed through fixing the tenses. Example would be "-and before he knows it, he fell asleep with his soft breathing filling the air." Fixing the tenses, it would read "and before he knew it, he fell asleep-". Much better. There's a few misspelled words, but nothing a quick edit wouldn't fix.

Overall Enjoyment: 8/10

Overall, I really did love your story. It felt like a modern day fairy tale with Yixing as the main character. Having him be an artist added more depth and a sense of fun to the story. It's cute and it's thoughtfully done. Your graphics are stunning and the consistency is strong. Tweak the grammar, add a bit more to the forward and your story will go from "good" to "unforgettable". Great story!

Total Score: 85/100 Grade: B+