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Ji Eun...

I could not believe of what I just heard. It is too much of me to digest it. How could he...How could he choose her instead of me when my love for him is for real. Didn’t  I not gives out ALL the possible HINTS to him of how much I really love him? Must I really need to swallow my pride that I need to express my love first before him?

I could feel my heart is still breaking into millions of pieces after I’ve ended our phone called. That’s the least he could do by breaking the news of his decision to follow his heart to her, instead of me, over the phone. But I think it is sufficient for me because I don’t think I could pull in hard of my wrecking emotion now. Well, of course he sounds guilty and as someone who really care for him, I’ve tried to sound happy for him when my heart has already begin to do their damage and the pain will soon comes pouring in.

The moment I’ve place down the phone receiver, with shaky hands I pull out the phone line and then switching off my mobile phone before steadying my wobbly legs to walk to the direction of the main door with the intention of turning on all the locks from the inside. I’m sure the only person except for my sajangnim, Chaerin will have the only access to my villa.

After that task been done, as I lean my petite body against the coolness of the living wall, again I took as much air to breathing in, and begin the task to walk myself to my master bedroom which happens to be on the first floor of my villa. In my mind, the best remedy to heal my broken heart is a good long sleep with no interference from the outside world.

~~~

Ji Yong...

I wonder what took her so long to get here. Our appointed meeting place was just behind her villa. I blew out sigh of frustration. Indeed I have almost zero tolerant of patient right now. Well I have reached here for the past half an hour ago. What possible that could hold her up? I’m sure there is no need for her to put on any of those colouring on her face. She has this flawless beauty that my buddy has failed to notice. Urghh...!! Ji Eun-ah..please come soon!!

For what’s have been happening this past weeks about Young Bae publicly acknowledgement of his relationship with Min Hyo Rin, I was amaze that VIP has been showing their utmost support for their relationship. But what of Ji Eun then? The almost invisible girl who has been pining for Young Bae from day one. Not only she is Young Bae greatest fan but she has become more than that to him. If only Young Bae knows of how sincere her love for him.

Sigh

Well, it was indeed his lost but someone else gain. And maybe that ‘someone’ might be me. I don’t know what’s my heart wants to tell me now. Confuse is not the word I would like to describe of how I am feeling now. I know at this instant is not the right time for me to confess my feeling. Definitely she is in the state of recovering from her heartbroken and I refused to be her rebound dude. That’s not my intention even to be one of her closest friend or bestie, absolutely no!

Another of reasons that held me back from my current situation should be my famous well-kept-secret relationship with Kiko. When is the last time that I saw her? Before my recording session for my latest song that I will collaborate with Young Bae ‘Good Boy’, I ceased to care of her wherebouts. She can always welcome to come and go in my life. Well of course there should be limit to it and that’s will happen right after I have found tonnes of courage to win the love of my one and only Ji Eun-ah.

“Oppa...” I heard her sweet soft voice whispered from my back. I could sense the sadness still linger in her voice. Damn you Young Bae!

When I turn to her, a big smile plastered on my face and as might as I could possibly muster, I tried my very best to look cheery and sound cheerful for her. Just for her. Only for her. “Ji Eun-ah...what took you so long?”

She bowed her head once and look up at me with a smile on her cute face which I know has been forced. “I’m sorry. I took some pills right before you have called me. The pills makes me sleepy and somehow I give in the urge to stay conscious.”

I narrowed my eyes. “What pills?”

And she response to me with head shake and tries to change the topic of conversation. I wanted to demand her reason of her consuming pills. Has it becomes this bad for her to just accept the fact that Young Bae will never be with her instead of me? Well she did not particularly knows of my secret feeling for her yet. But why must I be the last person to know of her consuming pills? Maybe both Chaerin and Inna might know about this pressing situation.

“Well, what’s so urgent that you want to meet me?” If this is as you put it ‘urgent’, shouldn’t you be here much much earlier than now?

“I just want to see how you holding up.” Half truth.

“Well as you can see me I am doing a great job, oppa.” Whole lots of lie lie lie!!!

I just smirk at her. “Ok...since you are doing great job of moving on with your life, why don’t you accompany me then?” I quickly got off from the wooden bench that I have been sitting while waiting for Ji Eun. “Where?”

“Paju. Come on!!” I did not wait for her to protest or change her fickle mind. I just dragged her to my awaiting Bentley. I have park my car near the exit of Ji Eun Villa. “I want to ride those roller coaster rides at Everland!!”

“What!!”

~~~

Ji Eun...

I could not believe that I let Ji Yong oppa talk me out into t my long tresses short to just above my shoulder. Well it is not that I never have my hair this short before, but this time I felt a whole lots different. I can’t seems to pin point the reason of my current happiness. It has been 2 weeks long I have decided not to continue to consume my pills. And I finally have a peaceful moment with Ji Yong oppa who stop asking me the reason for even taking those pills.

Well, Ji Yong oppa did not try to understand my difficulties to grab even a minute of sleep. But then again, I did not bother to tell him the reason in the first place. I don’t want to burden him with my inner conflict to just move on with my life. I don’t see there is any reason for me to hope or worst, expect for Young Bae oppa.

Like Ji Yong oppa told me the other day, “There are many others fishes in the pond for you to catch...” Yes. It is true that there are many more men out there but for now, I am not rushing to find any man to replace Young Bae oppa in my heart.

Sigh

Ever since the day that Ji Yong oppa dragged me to his many adventures rides all over Seoul, and sometime if we did share the same free hours from our tight schedules, I followed him to venture Tokyo for those scary rides. Seriously, I did not know that Ji Yong oppa is one of the brave members in Big Bang. As far as my knowledge goes as VIP, there are only 2 people who are not afraid of roller coaster rides and they are Young Bae oppa and TOP oppa.  Well, I could be wrong though.

Whenever Ji Yong oppa dragged me to Tokyo for our adventure roller coaster rides, I always without fail will be hesitant. Well I should though because Ji Yong oppa girlfriend Kiko lives in Tokyo and I really shouldn’t intrude. But whenever I did bring this matter up to Ji Yong oppa, the old man will be very angry, aside feeling overtly sensitive plus offended.

I am not for one who like to squabble and if possible I would prefer to avoid by always giving in to the other party. Well as for dear Ji Yong oppa, if he started to behave like this, I need to put in a lot of efforts to pacify him to calm his temper down. Luckily, Ji Yong oppa is not known to stay mad at me, or anyone else at that, for too long.

For the past few weeks, he has become my only friendly companion who making the great effort to just hang out with me. I am grateful for all his sacrifices. Because I know he is currently busy writing for Big Bang comeback album. And the last he told me that YG sajangnim has decided to use one of his song which he specially wrote for Big Bang, for a new collaboration between him and Young Bae oppa. Ji Yong oppa whenever he felt the stress from work getting way out of his acceptance scale, he will call me out for just a few minutes chat at any time of the day or night without fail.

Since he is not allow inside my apartment, at any given time of the day or night, if I am currently in my home studio, he will wait for me in his Bentley or the agency  black van. And I will sneaked inside the vehicle. I will then be a good listener for all his rant about his job but sometime he will try to avoid the topic of work and instead he will ask of my current project. He is truly a good person who I could always called friend.

Well, I am currently busy promoting my new single ‘Friday’. So far I am truly happy with the reception. It is a simple song that is easy on the ear. After that they are several projects that I will be involved. Leon Entertainment is making up for the lost time when I requested for a few months off during that saddest moment in my life.

I was not surprise that Ji Yong oppa is not too happy with my busy schedule. Well, he will also be busy with his new single where he will collaborate with Young Bae oppa. We need to cancel a lots of our adventurous outings and if our estimation is correct, the only time we will be seeing each other will be during the MAMA award show in Hong Kong.

 “Ji Eun-ah...I will miss you terribly!!” whine Ji Yong oppa as he sat at the driver seat of his Bentley. I could only muster a small smile at him. “Well, you too will be busy with ‘Good Boy’ promotional tour.” I lean forward to him. “Did I tell you that I really like that song?”

 He smirked at me. “I’m glad.” I watched him suddenly becomes restless. He seems to be debating over something to tell me. I softly touch his arm. “What is it, oppa?”

Ji Yong oppa seems trying to muster the courage to reply me. “How are your feeling for Young Bae, baebae?”

I smiled. I kind of like the way he calls me with the name ‘Bae bae’. I don’t particular knows since when he has start calling me with that pet name. I wonder what pet name he might call Kiko. Anyway should I have a pet name for him too? ear? Firecracker?

“Well?”

Instead replying to his question which I know will only resulted with a pain in my heart, as both of us leaning to each other, I literally jump unto his arm and hug him tightly. I know all this while Ji Yong oppa has been hiding something from me and I know what that is. It is something that I could not able to give him. The one that I still yet to recover from. Maybe I need more time to recover and for now I am happy with the thing that I have between oppa and I which is a friendship.

I felt his hand circled my waist while I position both of my legs at the side of his lap. “Ji Eun-ah...”

I shook my head as if refusing to hear any words coming from his mouth. Leaning towards his ear, I whispered, “Let’s not fall in love, oppa.”

~~~

Ji Yong...

I walk to the direction of my studio which I always used to compose most of Big Bang greatest hits. I know I am alone in the building. My watch shows that it is 5 am and Teddy hyung has just left the YG building leaving me to finish up with all the loose ends in Big Bang upcoming singles. My surrounding is eerily silence with not a single sound could be heard. Normally I will feel frightful and my thoughts will fill up with some scary images which will only makes me start to run towards my recording studio which I will feel much safer. But at this very moment, I couldn’t be bother with all of those. Because my heart felt so empty just like my surrounding...so empty.

As I make the last turn to the hallway leading to my recording studio, I am surprise to find Young Bae standing in front of the studio. I wonder what is he doing here. He felt my presence and turn to smile at me. I did not return the favor because I don’t see any reason for me to smile these days.

“Hey bro...Morning!” Out of respect, I just nodded to his greeting. I inserted the key to the door and enter the studio without even bother to open the door for Young Bae. Then I just proceed to carry out the editing the songs that Big Bang will release by end of August. I totally ignore Young Bae not because I am angry with him . It is something else.

“Ji Yong don’t shut me out please.” I’m not but I want to be alone.

“I got a call from Ji Eun last night. She sounds worried about you.” I’m listening.

“And I know what’s happening between you and Ji Eun.” I turn around and stare at him, feeling the heat of jealousy rising somewhere within my soul. I watch him squirm. And I really like his reaction.

“You know, I am somewhat jealous of the 2 of you, Yong.” Maybe my death stare is not that scare enough for him. Should I hit him in the face instead?

“Even I know she once like me, I could never make her so happy whenever she is with you. And I wonder if I could make Hyo Rin as happy as Ji Eun too.” Yes, I should first swing my leg aiming hard at his ‘little man’ and then allow him to kiss my fist.

“That’s your problem if you can’t make Hyo Rin as happy as my bae.” I choose to sit back and listen to what Young Bae has to continue with his conversation between him and Ji Eun. He knows the cue. “Well, she called me to ask if we will be appearing on the variety show Infiniti Challenge. Because she said she has decide to accept the offer.”

“Why bother?” I closed my eyes and trying to visualise her beautiful face that I have miss so much. It has been 4 months since our last meeting in this same studio when she has begged me to not fall in love with her. Well it is too late Ji Eun-ah. I have already fall head over heel in love with you for months now. And I will always be in love with you. With Kiko finally out of my life, it is only Ji Eun that I want to share my life with.

“Because she also love you, silly.” I swallow hard. That’s what I want to hear but coming out from Young Bae mouth. I always picture that I will do the love declaration while presenting her favourite flower and she will be wearing an out like Matilda, jumping happily as she too confess her undying love for me.

Sigh...so much in love.

I turn slowly to Young Bae and this time I could not help myself but smile happily at him. Young Bae pat the back of my head. “Happy for you bro.”

“What about you? Do you never have feeling for Ji Eun?” At last I ask the question that I have been dying to ask. Well when I asked Ji Eun, she has avoided the question while giving me the most heartbreaking replies that is so irrelevant to my question. And now, I have the grandest opportunity to ask my buddy.

“There was once that I thought I did like her but there are doubts that appears in my heart.” I just look at him blankly. “Well, look at her, Yong. She was the whole time fan-gigling at me. I can’t imagine having a girlfriend like that.” Again I nodded rather hesitant, I am trying to make out the real reason behind Young Bae weak reasoning here. He do not want his girlfriend who act like his die hard fan?

Tsk tsk tsk.

As I said earlier, it is his lost and MY gain in winning Ji Eun heart. I grabbed my handphone from my working table and dialed the number of my manager to tell him that I will appear on the show of Infiniti Challenge as promise.

~~~

Ji Eun...

As I look myself in the mirror, with my Matilda hair-style, I kind of look like Kiko but I am shorter than the Japanese model though. My hand has the urge to pull off the pins that holding my hidden long hair. But someone swat my hand away. And that someone happens to be my ‘well-kept’ boyfriend Kwon Ji Yong who is famously known as G-Dragon.

I glared at him.

“Let it be. You look cute with short hair. I like it.” I wagged my tongue at him rather childishly but oppa just smile fondly at me. I watch his every move from the mirror in front of us. I watch him slowly move right behind my back and hugged me while leaning down to my neck. Automatically, I close my eyes as I felt his breathe on the skin of my neck. I held my breathe. Anticipating the delightful touch of oppa.

“GET A  ROOM  PEOPLE!!!”

~~~

Thanks for reading!!

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.