Warm Love In August

 

 

How a simple sentence can bring behind their backs so confusing situations?

 

—What are you doing? —Choi Minho pronounced yawning as he entered the kitchen that must be lonely at that time, but instead, it had a visitor who was watching happily that dish in front of him.

It was three in the morning and he had awakened by not feel the warm body sleeping in his arms every day since he could remember already.

—Ah! —Said Lee Taemin (the person who slept in Minho’s arms every day), jumping on the chair on which he was sat, result of the shock he just received and courtesy of his boyfriend —You scared me, Minho hyung! —He complained, leaving the spoon above the plate gently and showing those beautiful pouts that Minho greatly loved.

—I'm sorry, it's just that it had made me uncommon that you were not in bed. —His still sleepy eyes watched with amusement how the younger was trying to hide from his view the huge banana and chocolate cake that was resting on the plate. Yes, huge, because he was not being exaggerated by stating that this slice was so huge that filled the big second dish. It was even spilling over the sides! —What are you doing up at this hour? It's three in the morning, Taemin.

—I was hungry... —He replied almost in a whisper, embarrassed at being found in that situation and with a blush already evident.

Taemin had insisted so much to bought him that cake, that he simply had not been able to say no, but had not expected that he liked it so much to wriggle like a little rat and at those hours, just to eat a little more of that huge cake that had no more than 24 hours and Taemin unaided, almost finished it.

—Will you eat all that? —He asked astonished to see that huge cake. Hell, Taemin was amazing! He was definitely surprised.

—It's just that the cake is very delicious, hyung.

—Are not you suddenly eating a lot lately? It's three in the morning and I find you eating this fat piece of cake.

—You're exaggerating, Minho.

—I'm not exaggerating, Taemin. Yesterday was the pot of ice cream that Kibum bought and before yesterday all that meat… —He was going to keep talking but when Taemin looked him straight in the eyes, he knew it was a bad idea, so he just stopped, looking at him and hoping not to unleashed the World War III just because of contradicting his boyfriend.

—Hyung, I don’t understand them; when I eat less, they say I should eat more, if I eat more, they say I should eat less. So what should I do? —Taemin leaves his dish aside and gets up from the table without saying anything more. He knows he is upset and that he has to look for a way to not it more if he doesn’t want to have Taemin without speaking to him, and with a face for wanting to kill him all the damn day.

He walks quietly behind the younger until he decides to act, hugging and pressing his body to Taemin's back, leaving his hands resting on the hips of this person.

—Don’t bother, honey; I'm just curious about why are you eating like that lately, but it doesn’t bother me at all. —And he wants to just start laughing because of how tender Taemin looks at that moment, upset like that; but he should speak in a lower tone for the time being, while gently caresses the hips covered by the cute pajamas he is wearing.

—It's nothing special, hyung; I'm just in my time to eat more… It's just that. —And I thought not to insist if I wanted to get out unharmed from that situation.

—Well, let's go to sleep then. —A kiss on the neck that takes his guard off, makes him smile. He loves when Minho kiss him on the neck, and it’s because he has so much effect on his body.

And they don’t need to say more, they’ve been together so long that they could talk just to look at each other, and understand gestures or silences of the other, was so easy to understand as the words themselves.

Suddenly, Minho carry him in his arms, and in that way they return to the room, that was Minho’s room, but they shared because Taemin didn’t like to sleep without him, and honestly to him either. They try not to laugh and make noise, but it seems impossible because when they hear the loud scolding from Kibum, they can only get into their room soon.

And although they were put to bed without expecting much, and Minho embraces him as he likes so much, he has trouble falling asleep, so chooses to just close his eyes, to stick and embrace a little harder to Minho who was already completely asleep.

He was aware that in a few hours he would have to get up, but still he can’t sleep and there is only one reason for that... Minho.

And it’s not that he enjoyed being eating too much lately, it was just that he couldn’t control it. Not if he was so anxious and afraid, besides being excited and extremely happy after having the best day of his life when Minho had made him that proposal.

 

It was nine o'clock in the evening of September 29 that day, and Minho had entered as calm to their room. He slept beside Minho there and not because someone had assigned to them that room; it's just that he had the full right as Minho’s boyfriend, right?...He loved that and although it was rather reserved with his private life, he couldn’t deny he loved that everyone knew that he was Minho’s boyfriend and that this guy loved him more than anything in the world. After all, he was just like a spoiled kitten and he knew how to even recognize that himself.

—Would you like to take a little trip with me? —The question surprised him but he smiled anyway. Minho will never cease to be that considerate and complaisant man who he had fallen in love many years ago.

—When?

—Now. —He says with simplicity and security.

—Right now? —He asked, in that point, a bit confused, it’s just that although he should already be accustomed to receiving those surprises from Minho, he always came up with a more surprising thing than the last one and he simply couldn’t get used to that, though he loved them.

—Why not, I have everything ready. —Minho smiles at him, showing his perfect teeth and that smile Taemin knew well.

—Choi Minho... Why you never consult me ​​anything? —Yes, he shows that mock indignation, although he is dying of happiness inside and just because he loved to be conceited with Minho.

—Don’t you want to go? I can cancel everything and... —He don’t let him to end. He just leave a kiss on the cheek of his boyfriend and finally gets out of bed.

—Should I take a lot of things? —Minho shakes his head, not hiding that smile full of happiness.

It is like this: Minho did crazy things and Taemin was always willing to be part of them.

—We'll be back tomorrow night.

An hour later both and thanks to their need to not be recognized, they took a flight directly to Sapporo, dressed from head to toe. It was only a day that they would stay in Japan, taking advantage the light agenda they had in those days, before the coming promotions.

—Don’t you think it would have been better to invite our parents and friends? It's your graduation, hyung.

He was convinced that Minho had brought him to Japan to celebrate his early college graduation and it’s not that he didn’t like the idea that Minho would like to celebrate only with him, but even when they came to Japan he had no idea what he could give him as a present. His only consolation was knowing that his graduation was still in August so he had time to think of something better to give him when the date approached.

—No, I just wanna be with you. —And he remember he smiled a lot when Minho had said that embracing his waist, an embrace that was as warm as those strong arms that he loved with his soul.

And as he didn’t know what to get for him, he waited until they reached the hotel and Minho entered the shower, so he can call who could help him and who always trusted when it came to such simple but special things.

—Taemin? —He listened Kibum's voice across the line and smiling he prepared for the scolding that already was coming. —Why the hell you left without notifying us?! —And he laughs anyway, although he knows that Kibum wouldn’t like any of it. —What the hell are you laughing? Do you find this funny?

—I'm sorry, hyung; Minho had it all planned out, so in my behalf I can say that I am just as surprised too, he even fixed it all with the company!

—And where the hell are you?

—In Japan, Minho wants to celebrate his graduation in Sapporo.

—I find it in very poor taste that you call me to boast your happiness, Taemin. —He laughs again but this time accompanied by Kibum who had finished faking his discomfort. — Do you need something?

—Actually yes; I don’t know what present get for Minho. I have no idea what I should give someone who will graduate. —A soccer ball? A pair of Boxer? Maybe a new pair of tennis? He had no idea what he was going to give to Minho.

—Minho will be fine with anything you give him, Taemin.

—But hyung, I want to give him something special. —He complained leaning on the bed at the same time. He was physically but mostly mentally stressed out too fast with the present for Minho.

—Considering that you don’t have time to look for an elaborate and expensive present, you should give him something small but significant.

—Hyung, you haven’t helped me at all. —He complained again when he heard the laughter of a funny Kibum, probably because of his situation.

—I'll leave you thinking. Good luck, baby! —And he hung up! Leaving him just as desperate and anxious.

Eventually, while showering, he realized he wasn’t going to have any good idea, so he surrendered; if he was lucky, he could already find something to buy during the day.

And of course he searched it, for many places while they walked with a freedom they didn’t have in Korea and although they were aware that there would also be people who would recognize them, they felt secure enough with their masks and those clothes they were wearing.

They considered themselves a common rather couple and who liked to do simple things like walking hand in hand, eat somewhere unfamiliar, watching movies or just spend the afternoon in bed and hugged as they spoke of future plans that they didn’t know how but somehow were to meet. When they could, and the agenda allowed them of course, they did those things together, and not that they were bored, because they also came out to party and dance when they felt like it, but it was a lot better if they spent quality time where only the two of them were the involved.

Their love life was simple but it was good because they had learned the perfect way to complement each other and pushing his relationship all they could of the mess that meant their careers and the artistic world in which they lived every day.

—Hyung, can you buy me that? I'm hungry —His complete and natural smile can be seen, as always when he is next to Minho and so it’s certain that the older can’t refuse him anything.

So he had early in his hands that fruit juice and chocolate he asked. Minho had already purchased it.

It had been a beautiful day with Minho, but the best and most heartwarming episode arrived at night. He'd barely had time to bathe and dress a little elegant when Minho took him to walk again. He might have realized that his boyfriend was up to something when they came to a restaurant at the Mount Moiwa, and slowly as they walked there, people were disappearing until it absolutely was not a soul in, apart from them and the people who worked there.

They had been in Sapporo before, but Minho had never taken him to that restaurant, it was like something out of a beautiful dream. “The Jewels”... Even the name was nice and the place even more. With a spacious and elegant atmosphere, the perfect lighting from the ceiling to the tables and the best of everything: That beautiful view of the city from all over the place... God, everything was so perfect.

There were many tables there but only one was served that day. That wooden table with a beautiful flower motif in the center, was strategically placed in the perfect place, where he could have the best view of the city at night. There were only two chairs facing each other and on the table a bottle of champagne to accompany the dinner. It looked delicious with just seeing it.

It was too much to have the meaning to only celebrate Minho’s graduation... And he must have realized but no, he was just happy to be with the person he loved and so he put aside all thoughts that might have interrupted that moment.

—Let's sit down. —Minho whispered near his ear, pulling him out of the reverie that he had been taken by that beautiful surprise.

They ate happily while chatting on simple and common things that made them laugh and be happy remembering, but he never forgot that he was there for a reason and so he had to apologize soon.

—Hyung, I don’t have a graduation gift for you yet, but I promise to give you a great one the twenty-four. —He confessed embarrassed but Minho not seem to mind that.

—It's enough that you are here today with me.

—Then today we drink for your early graduation? —He couldn’t stop smiling in no time. He felt much more in love that day.

—Yes and no. —He replied, smiling beautifully for him. —I would like to drink for something more special.

—Why?

—For the best gift you'll give me in a few minutes...

—What do you mean, Minho hyung? —He asked playfully. He loved so much mystery.

The older didn’t answer, just poured the champagne into two glasses and offered him as he stands up from his seat, and finally lend a hand to him, waiting to take his hand... His heart jumped for happiness, and it was for an instinct he had screaming at him that it will be the best night of his life.

They walked hand in hand to stand in front of the beautiful city that is fully appreciated from that place. The lights from the night in Sapporo and the light of the stars and the moon were perfectly combined creating a beautiful night.

He almost scream of happiness when Minho had stood behind him and had tenderly embraced, sheltering him from the wind blowing through the window that Minho had opened. Minho’s jaw over his shoulder and one hand gently his belly made him feel in the clouds.

It was all so beautiful...

—Don’t you think it's a beautiful night?

—Yes, it’s beautiful... Thank you, Minho hyung, for being the best thing that ever happened in my life... You don’t know how happy I am and I hope you're happy too. —It was all he had asked that day, to make Minho happy.

—I am happy, but there is something that I hope will make us both happier tonight.

—And what is it? —He asked smiling and the next thing he meant to say just stayed in his throat because he was clouded mind and sight completely.

Minho had raised his arm, leaving his fist in front of his face and there, with the city at night to witness this, he opened his palm, revealing what filled his heart of excitement and happiness impossible to match.

—Lee Taemin, would you marry me? —He could only close his eyes tightly, trying not to mourn when Minho had said that softly near his ear.

But even with that effort, he couldn’t help more his tears and when he began to mourn, he couldn’t stop even for a second, while Minho cradled him in his chest, whispering many words of love and promises that he believed because they came from Minho, the man who had never missed any of his promises and who makes him the happiest and most fortunate person in the world.

—Minho hyung. —He spoke in his hiccups caused by the tears, quickly getting what he wanted: Minho gently took his face in his big hands and looked at him as if he was the most beautiful and fragile piece of the world.

—Tell me darling.

—I accept. —That was his simple answer and they just smiled without saying anything more.

He couldn’t help to mourn again when Minho put that beautiful ring on the ring finger of his left hand, and it’s just that they couldn’t endure the happiness that flooded them, and that was remarkable because immediately they kissed as if there was never another day in their lives.

—I love you, Taemin.

—I love you, Minho.

He only remembered that they had come to a hotel room, it was not even the place where they had stayed that morning, and then he tried to investigate the name. “Novotel” was the name and if he was doing that, it was because he wanted the memory of everything that had made him immensely happy that night.

But that was when he came to Korea, because that night he could only think of Minho kissing him on the lips, his face and neck, where he was especially sensitive and in the ears, making him completely crazy. Minho undressing him slowly while expertly had caressed each existing piece of skin on his body and with particular emphasis on the most sensitive areas he has, that Minho only knew and just him, because he wanted to belong only to him until the end of his life. Minho undressing himself desperately, killing him with desire because Minho’s body was the only one who can make him feel so hot; each part of him.

Minho making his way inside him, whispering words of love to soothe that pain so familiar to him, but that actually mattered little because he knew that the burning would then become the greatest pleasure, and because he was making love with the person he loved. It was worth to endure that pain if it was to be surrendering to his boyfriend and future husband.

Minho taking over his body with every right that was up to his soul; moving precisely... At first, in a slow and friendly way, but when they feel their clamoring for that passion that characterizes both, the movement was becoming more intense, almost animal, while the bed seemed to give the brutal movement of each that his hyung gives and he appreciates, because he loved every part of Minho, especially when it came to possess him.

The sweat of their bodies, making their hair clumping at their faces; his eyes fixed on the other; swollen lips from kissing each other; the wild beating of their hearts; numb and sore muscles; messy sheets he had pressed with his fingers when the desire was too much to bear; caresses that didn’t stop all night; every promise that Minho had done to him that night as he took him... Everything was so perfect that made him mourn and sigh hopelessly, because they had made love many times, but tonight everything seemed so new to them... More special and beautiful...

Everything had seemed a dream, even when they returned to Korea and told their parents and friends that they were getting married. He proudly showed his ring to every person he met, regardless Kibum, he even jokingly continued claiming he couldn’t go around rubbing his happiness over the world.

But of course, not everything could have been as perfect as he had believed.

They say that every couple about to get married is going through a crisis that can’t be understood so easily...

 

 

 

He would marry Minho! How the hell he was going to rest easy knowing that?!

And it just so beautiful to think that his dream was finally fulfilled (because ever since Minho had asked him to be his boyfriend, he had dreamed of the day they would marry and form their own family) and it made his heart throb with emotion too fast.

It was completely cheesy, but that had always been his dream...

His eyes, unable to hold, fill with tears because he can’t with the excitement of knowing that in a few months, both would finally be married... He couldn’t even wanted to ask for more, when life was giving him everything he had wanted with so much love...

And he embraces much more to Minho, crying there in silence; just crying for the happiness that man meant in his life every day. He can imagine the masculine features of Minho in his sleep and he drops a smile amidst his tears.

Yes, he had a reason to be eating so much lately, but he didn’t care if Minho didn’t mind...

 

He had not only wanted to propose to Taemin. It was a new stage in their lives and they needed to take a step before this happened. Yes, even at that time, they were living together, but not only were they; Jinki, Jonghyun and Kibum were there every day. Not that he didn’t like to be with them, but it was just that he was aware that it was time to find a little more privacy with Taemin, if they were to get married soon.

That day they had some appointments with some estate agents, but apparently, Taemin was more concerned to eat a box of chocolates that Jinki had given to him... All the holy box. And they had just lunch!

—Honey, it's time to go. —He tried not to laugh as he spoke to a Taemin that looked too beautiful and tender enjoying his chocolates.

Strangely, he had been eating more since he had asked him marriage. He didn’t mind, as long as Taemin keeps healthy, but the weight gain was very noticeable, and it seemed strange. Although Taemin had gained weight, he had to admit he loved Taemin’s stuffed cheeks and that belly that had been inflated with more notoriety in the last few days.

—Well... I will leave these to eat when we get back. —He was about to kiss him by how beautiful Taemin had smiled at that moment, when suddenly Jonghyun had left his room laughing as if he was to die soon.

—Why the hell are you laughing like that? —He asked irritably for being interrupted by the scandalous laughter.

—You must see this. —And since he saw those pictures, he knew that Taemin wouldn’t like anything about that. —I was checking things on Twitter when these photos appeared suddenly. Taemin, and apparently all fans, realized you're chubby. —He emphasized the last word almost choking with laughter. —God, the fans are so great.

—Juts shut up, Jonghyun. —He hit his shoulder smiling nervous, but even so, he couldn’t remove that annoying face from Taemin.

—Damn, Minho; that hurts. —The lowest guy complained rubbing the affected part.

—Let's go now, Minho hyung. —And he swore Jonghyun would pay for that because he had just annoyed their morning.

And of course, it was up to him to solve that.

—Do you really think I'm fat, Minho? —That was so direct, he asked while driving to the first apartment they would see that day.

They had gone from dead silence to Taemin complaints and questions that became difficult to answer because, he honestly didn’t know what to say and didn’t want to disturb Taemin more. How the hell would he know if it was okay to eat a chocolate cake in the morning and another one of vanilla at night?

—Of course not, honey; you know how Jonghyun is.

—But you also call me like that. —To his credit, he could say yes, he had been calling him chubby twice, but because of the tenderness that he gaves him with those beautiful cheeks. He had never intended to mock him.

—Yes, but as affection; it's just a nickname, baby.

—Don’t call me like that, hyung... I don’t like it anymore. —He confesses cocky, and he finds it impossible to contradict him.

—All right, but change that face; I need you to choose the place where we will live from now on.

—Okay. —Taemin smiles and everything is fine.

Or so I thought…

 

—He’s still the same? —Jonghyun asks him smiling and almost mocking his misfortune as he sits beside him on the couch.

There was another problem besides the sudden appetite of Taemin... No in his ing life. He doesn’t even remember the last time he had cherished Taemin or had seen him ; well, he remembered him but Taemin had never denied him so long and he was desperate and angry.

Two bloody months! What healthy young person could resist not fondling so long the person he loved?! God, he was going to get crazy soon!

—Yes... —He tries to keep away stress fondled his face with his hands, but not even that works. —And I don’t even know what I did to deserve this suffering. —He complains, but to Jonghyun seems like a joke because he’s just looking at him while smiling playfully, earning a punch in the thigh. —I'm not joking, Jonghyun! I'm desperate.

—Why desperate? —They hear Jinki’s voice and both relax again.

—Taemin doesn’t want to give him . —This time is not only Jonghyun who laughs, Jinki also looks very funny with that issue.

—Calm down, Minho; the same thing happened to Jonghyun two months ago with Kibum. —And he also joins the laughter; mocking Jonghyun.

Jinki mocks both, but ends up helping them as well. He knew that Taemin needed his own space, but at least he wanted to understand why he was so shy in the recent weeks and apart from , he needed at least to and cuddle him to feel complete, and Taemin wasn’t allowing him to do it.

What the hell was happening?

 

God, he needed help and Kibum could give it thought, but he didn’t want to risk himself, and that Minho found out what he was concerned about lately.

Everything was ed in their lives, including , and it was only because of him and the sudden insecurity he had for his body.

Yes, Lee Taemin was ashamed of himself.

He didn’t want to admit it, but that Jonghyun and fans were calling him "chubby" lately, it had only led to him not wanting Minho to see him . He wanted to be with Minho, a lot, but the fear and shame were bigger, not daring to allow his future husband to saw him as his mother had brought him to the world.

He needed help, and he knew who might be helpful.

"I need you to help me on something..." He wrote quickly in the group conversation he had with his friends in Kakaotalk.

"What?" It was Kai who answered first.

"Taemin, someone who is getting married soon and needs no help of a simple single..." Ravi joked with his message and he feels even more despairing.

"Can we meet today?"

Even though they show themselves as pranksters with the matter, apparently his friends understand why he is setting a meet with them that night; but that was the easy part of all... To convince Minho to take him that night and without telling him exactly what it was about, it would be more difficult.

 

—With whom will you go? —Yes, it would be difficult. Minho seemed especially angry that day and couldn’t imagine why.

—With Kai and Ravi...

—Why so late? It is dangerous to go out at this time, you know. —Minho suddenly seemed irritated but he understood it.

They also had used as a way to de-stress, but now that he was refusing to surrender to Minho, the relationship had become somewhat strange.

—Minho, if you don’t want to take me there, it is fine, I’ll go anyway. —His face changed and Minho's face becomes harder.

—What time should I pick you up?

—In two hours or less.

And they didn’t say anything during the whole trip and Minho just said goodbye telling him that he’ll pick him up later, without even saying goodbye to his friends. And he understood, it had been exactly three months since they hadn’t been intimate and one month since their relationship seemed to go down the hill.

Daily discussions, the lack of , no longer sleep together because he requested that, the lack of physical contact, because they no longer had good morning kisses, nor those hugs that he loved, much less caresses... There was nothing in their relationship and that was affecting them, and not only to them, because Jonghyun, Kibum and Jinki were being included in those problems unwittingly, not knowing whom to support.

He was scared...

He was afraid that one of these days Minho tell him that it was better to leave things there, that he didn’t want to marry him or that he had gotten someone else because he wasn’t giving him what he needed... He was afraid of many things that he himself caused by not having the courage to tell those fears to Minho.

—Did you have a fight? —Even their friends are surprised with the behavior of the older, because even though he was jealous, Minho used not to behave so rude to them.

—So it seems.

—And why?

—I know, he is like that because of the lack of . —Ravi mocks, but when they saw his face they could tell it was exactly that.

—Yes, exactly that.

Oh yes, a serious issue...

And they know it well when he started complaining that Minho didn’t understand him, and he needed to be understood, but even he knew that was not the problem.

—But why? You had never had such problems; you are like rabbits... Kai whispers the last word and he is filled with shame because, although they were very reserved in his private life, somehow their friends found out some things that happened in his relationship with Minho.

—Oh God, I really need your help. —He whines plaintively, pressing his face to the table, despairing.

Does he need professional help?

He had never felt so insecure with his body; of his ability to seduce his boyfriend… There were probably thousands of people who desire him but he didn’t want any of that, he just wanted to feel safe again to seduce Minho; undress in front of him without hesitation; without feeling so bad when his boyfriend started to kiss him more passionate with quite clear intentions...

And it was not just that, because to complete his damn misery, he was suddenly feeling insecure with his wedding, and not for a lack of love or because he feels that Minho was going to do it wrong... The problem was himself.

What if Minho was bored of him? If he left immediately they began to live together? Because one thing was being with all SHINee in that house, where he could ask his hyungs for advices and complain to them when Minho made him feel bad; but if all that disappeared, ¿How Minho was going to endure his whims and jealousies? And how would he endure the jealousy and possession of Minho, in the same way? He had so many questions and he only knew the answer for the last one, because he was sure he could handle all Minho’s defects he has known, and those who were to come when they lived together, if they appeared. But... And Minho?

It was very likely that he was fed up with him, and it made him feel miserable because he loved Minho with his life and he didn’t want to lose him.

—I don’t understand anything, why would you not have with Minho?

—It’s not that I don’t want to make love with him, it's just that I'm ashamed... He ashamed confessed.

—Shame? Taemin, you've been more than six years of your life sleeping with Minho and you’re ashamed now? How is that possible?!

—It's because people have been saying I'm fat! —He can’t longer resist all the complaints he had stuck in his throat.

—Who the hell say that?

—The fans, Jonghyun hyung and even Minho. ­—He felt that at any moment the tears would come out to never stop, even though he was enjoying that delicious cookie. —What should I do? I need help.

—There's only one thing you can do, talk to Minho. —The say it at the same time. He believes that it is impossible to do that.

And although they fail to talk over his problem with Minho and focus on other more cheerful things, his concerns are back when he see Minho’s car coming and he has to say goodbye to his friends.

—Good luck, you'll see that you're drowning in a glass of water... You just have to talk to Minho hyung. —Kai whispers for him when he say goodbye and he can only thanks mentally for have good friends who were always there for him.

It's after four in the morning when he gets into the car and the awkward silence at that hour can be felt much more, becoming unbearable.

—You did well? —He asks, what surprised him because he didn’t expect that Minho would speak after so rude attitude he had with him a few hours ago.

—Yes... —It’s all he can answer, repenting soon because Minho says nothing more in the whole trip.

He tries to convince himself that it’s not a good idea to talk to Minho that morning but Kibum says the same thing and also Jinki when he finally dares to tell them his problems by texting... Apparently the only solution was to talk to Minho and he also believed that, but doing it was the problem; to lose the shame and tell him everything he was feeling.

He thanked heaven that in the department, there was no one because he has to take the courage to tell him everything that he kept in his chest.

—Hyung. —He gets to speak before Minho entered his room.

His eyes meet Minho’s few seconds, begging him to stay. It works, because he sees him sigh with fatigue before sitting on the couch, waiting for a reaction from him but his body will not cooperate and Minho is already bored.

—Taemin, I had a bad day and I'm tired. I thought to talk to you tomorrow and I think that was enough for today. He sees it in his eyes, in his body; his intention is to get off the couch.

—No, I need you to listen to me... Please, hyung.

Minho’s silence says he can continue, so a little safer, he walks to sit beside him on the couch.

—I'm sorry. —He finally says it. —I'm sorry I acted so strange all this time, but I also need you to understand me, hyung.

—That's the damn problem, Taemin, I can’t understand you. Is it that you no longer want to marry me?

—No! Is not that, hyung!

—Then what the hell is wrong with you!? I try to be understandable to you with all these ing mood swings that you have; I try not to give importance to the fact that now you seem happier with the food than with me; I also try not to give importance that you want to spend more time with your friends than with me; I even try not to care about you don’t let me touch you and to not make love, but I wonder why. —He’s not surprised by all that energy and honesty coming from Minho. It’s the same, he can’t answer... —, Taemin say something.

And he could only lie to mourn because he simply can’t say anything.

—If you don’t want to marry me, you just should say it; if you can’t stand me to touch you anymore, you should just tell me. But say something, dammit!

He still can’t say anything and Minho is not willing to wait any longer; he would seek answers in their own way.

—Hyung... — He whispers confused when suddenly with little delicacy and using his strength and height, Minho pushed him to leave him lying on the couch and caught between the body of his boyfriend and a soft sofa, he sunk by the weight.

Minho's lips on his, made him silent a few minutes, because in the following, he finds himself because of the kisses on his neck that his hyung is giving him as he tries to grapple gently. He doesn’t want to stop him, but he should talk to Minho.

—Hyung, no. —He manages to say between whining. —Stop it, Minho.

—You're driving me crazy, Taemin. —The needed and thick voice of his boyfriend reach his ears, despairing him. No, I wasn’t ready.

—No! Stop it, Minho! —And he finally get it, Minho stops kissing him and stands. He stopped, but at a price that he would not like to pay...The hurt look on his hyung.

His eyes see him go without saying anything and finally, that's what causes that glass that had been wanting to overflow, did it without reversing.

He walks hurried to catch him and surrounds him with his trembling arms, hiding his face in that strong back and cry, cry without shame or fear because even though Minho is upset, he doesn’t move from there and caresses his hands gently.

—I’m sorry, Minho... It’s not that I don’t want to marry you, it's just that I'm afraid... I'm afraid of not being good enough for you, afraid that you get bored of me when we live together, afraid that you leave me, if you come to believe that I’m very little thing for you, afraid that this will not work and you end up hating me; I'm so afraid, Minho hyung. I don’t want to do bad things for you, but I don’t know how to do that.

The crying doesn’t let him see or breathe well, so he thanks very much when Minho rolled his embrace to flip him and embrace him even more affectionately, comforting him with his body for a moment, saying nothing.

—God, Taemin... Why had not you told me about this? His tears are dried by Minho’s big hands and his quiet unborn words from the lips of Minho, he is immensely reassuring with that kiss.

—I was scared. —He confesses smiling because Minho's touch on his hips relax him.

—How someone so small and beautiful could manage to almost take me to madness? I couldn’t think of anything more than everything was my fault; that maybe I had rushed by asking you marriage or that I was pushing hard in . I could only think about that and didn’t want to pressure you... I was so afraid to think that maybe you stopped loving me and that this would end soon.

—I'm so sorry, Hyung. His hands trembling slightly less, Minho’s face, now he could. —It was not that I wouldn’t want to make love to you, it's just... —And that was the shame of it all.

Because it was understandable that he has insecurity with the coming marriage, but he had not broken the because of that; he had denied his body to Minho because of shame instead…

—It’s just that...? Minho's eyes are just a few seconds away with his. Because he wasn’t able to tell him that directly, he looks away, looking that white wall that has nothing interesting. —Just what, honey?

—It's that I was ashamed...

—Why would you be ashamed? I've seen you so many times and we have done it so many times that it is impossible to count them. —Minho's smile makes him blush, but with anger because he couldn’t believe that his boyfriend was so direct for those issues.

—It's your fault for calling me chubby! —He yells it without thinking about anything else, but he soon regrets when he see the surprised look of Minho and that smile that seemed to suddenly want to become in a laughter. —And Jonghyun and fans fault! —Minho doesn’t let him arguing, when suddenly he takes in his hands his flushed face, looking at him with love that makes his heart beating too fast.

—Taemin... You didn’t want to have with me because you are ashamed of your body?

—Yes... I know I've gained weight and my stomach screams it. I didn’t want you to see me , and that you don’t liked me anymore.

—God, honey, you're so sweet.

—I'm not kidding, Minho.

—Me neither, Taemin. —He believes him. —I could tell you right now all the reasons to remove you this unfounded insecurity but I like to show things with actions. —And he laughs finished cleaning his tears, knowing how it would end that.

And finally this morning, he could let go of absolutely all his insecurities; he could see that living alone sounded a lot better if he let go of all negative thoughts. They would have more time for them to continue making future plans and consider adopting soon (Yes, he wanted to be a father soon) because he was sure of something. It needed much more to be had just that one great love they had for each other.

—Would you like to take a little trip with me? —He smiles by couldn’t help remembering that same conversation a few months ago.

—When?

—I don’t know, maybe now.

—Uhmm I don’t know, you don’t even tell me why you want to take me to travel.

—I don’t know, I might surprise you with all ready for the wedding this time. What do you think?

—That I would love to.

Their bodies are the best fit, sticking more before finally letting their lips were united in a warm kiss.

There was no problem if they made that little trip to get married if they returned quickly after, right? There would be time for the honeymoon...