Why did Jung YunHo kill Kim JaeJoong?

Jung YunHo was 30 when he had everything he had dreamed of. He had an empire at his feet, more money that he could spend in his life and a beautiful, caring lover. He was envied, loved and hated for everything he had.

That’s why on a cold morning of November all newspapers and TV news stations had the same headline as the question that was on everyone’s lips,

“Why did Jung Yunho kill Kim JaeJoong?”

*****

Kim JunSu was only 15 when the sudden death of the top singer from South Korea took over the front page of every newspaper and magazine. Every TV station was talking about it. It was almost surreal, he was one of the celebrities who started young and were always on TV, but never bored you. So it was safe to assume that the entire nation was shocked by the news.

What made it even darker and more painful was the fact that his death wasn’t natural, he was murdered. It was a massive shock for JunSu to hear that one of the people he’d looked up to had been killed. And the culprit wasn’t a stranger that wanted to kill the idol because of some sick reason. No, the culprit was apparently the singer’s other half, the businessman with whom the singer had had a stable and full of love relationship. Or so everyone thought.

Their country had come to accept same relationships after struggles from the later part with the traditional mind-set and constant disgust and insults thrown at them. When Kim JaeJoong publicly announced his relationship with Jung Yunho it wasn’t a big shock because the singer had been seen in the company of the man quite frequently, his own fanbase being more than sure that there was something between them.

Even though Kim JunSu was only 15 and everyone around him blamed Jung YunHo for the death of Kim JaeJoong because the news said so, he wasn’t stupid. People don’t just wake up one day and kill their significant other, or anyone else for that matter.

*****

10 years later

It was almost fascinating how things could make someone obsessed and force them to do anything in order to find out as much as they could about those specific things, no matter how much time it took.

JunSu had been working his way up in life all those years in order to revolve around the people who could give him information about his own obsession. Ten years later he was a few steps away from finding out the truth, yet those steps were too hard to take.

Since he had finished college he dedicated his time to pursuing Kim JaeJoong’s parents and Jung YunHo to get them to accept an interview with him, but both of the parties had been rejecting him, even when he became famous due to his talent to uncover things, shady or not so much, about different personalities of the Korean society.

He actually worked his off to make a name for himself in order to find out the answer to the question that still haunted him every night since that day ten years ago— Why did Jung YunHo kill Kim JaeJoong? Even on trial YunHo refused to say more than admitting to killing the other man and pleading guilty without even letting people to try to defend him. That’s what made JunSu wonder if that was really the truth. A criminal would always wait for the police to get the proof, drag out the trial and then either declare that they are guilty or still lie and let the proof do all the work.

Being rejected multiple times made him lose his confidence in actually having the chance to get in touch directly with the dead singer’s parents or with YunHo himself. It was agonizing, the fact that he couldn’t get closer to his biggest goal made him feel uneasy. JunSu wondered every single day if it was worth to keep longing to find out what really had happened, and the answer was always yes. Yes, it was worth it. No, he wouldn’t stop even though it would take even more years than had already passed.

That’s why when he got an e-mail from JaeJoong’s parents he couldn’t believe what was written in it. Mr. and Mrs. Kim requested him to do an interview with them about JaeJoong, now that his 10^th death anniversary was just around the corner. JunSu was positively thrilled, he even checked the e-mail multiple times to make sure it wasn’t a mistake. He even got one of his friends to check the authenticity of the email address from which the request was sent.

It was all real. And JunSu didn’t know what to do. It was silly, but he had been looking forward to it for such a long time, but having been rejected countless times by both parties made him unprepared for an acceptance. Not that soon, at least.

When the realization washed over him, he started to prepare everything he would need. JunSu wrote to the people he wanted to work with him on that case. If JaeJoong’s 10^th death anniversary was two months away, he was going to make it as big as possible. An article wouldn’t be sufficient, so a video reportage was the solution. While he prepared for every step he was going to take for it to be absolutely perfect, JunSu wrote an e-mail to JaeJoong’s parents in which he accepted enthusiastically and presented them the idea of a report. As soon as he got a positive answer he started making calls to prepare everything. He had little time in order to make a damn good reportage, but he was going to make sure he got everything covered so it would be one of the best reportages in Korean history. Kim JaeJoong and his death deserved that.

After two weeks of constant preparation and gathering the people that would be a part of the reportage, making sure that everything was perfect and on point, JunSu was finally ready to do the interview.

They started early in the morning on Friday, the weekend being the only time when Mr. Kim could participate. JunSu was nervous; something in his stomach was dancing around, making it hard for him to fully concentrate. Before he actually entered the house, he stayed in his car for ten minutes trying to calm down. The other people in the crew were going to arrive a little later than him because JunSu wanted to explain the process to JaeJoong’s parents and make sure they were ok with everything.

Mrs. Kim greeted him with a bright smile as she opened the door to him, JunSu felt oddly comforted, but he also realized JaeJoong looked nothing like her. There was a saying that boys usually looked like their mothers, but that was not the case, not in a single feature. Automatically, JunSu wondered if JaeJoong’s father had wronged when he was younger and had JaeJoong with another woman, but as soon as he met the older man, his doubts vanished. Not a single common feature from both of the parents, and he got curious why.

“Please have a seat!” Mrs. Kim’s pleasant voice resounded in the room.

“Thank you!” JunSu politely said, sitting down on the elegant couch, “thank you so much for having me here today and agreeing to make this documentary for JaeJoong.”

Mr. Kim grunted, a little annoyed, while his spouse only smiled, “It is our pleasure, honestly, even though my husband seems a little displeased. We want to do this right and show the world and those who doubt that the bastard killed JaeJoong, that’s how it happened.”

JunSu smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes; he was one of those who doubted, “That’s wonderful!” But it was a journalist’s duty not to reveal his true feelings until the truth is out.

“Shall we begin?” Mr. Kim asked and JunSu nodded, not wanting to drive further into a discussion that could make him say more than he wanted.

For thirty minutes JunSu proceeded to inform them and give details about the structure and theme of the documentary, what were the points they needed to touch and what to avoid, in order not to receive harsh criticism for touching inappropriate subjects, even if they were JaeJoong’s parents.

“When will it be aired?” Mr. Kim suddenly asked, interrupting JunSu’s explanation.

“I will solely be focusing on this documentary; I will have it ready before JaeJoong’s 10^th death anniversary and it is expected to be aired a week before that day.” JunSu quickly said.

“Is that possible?” Mrs. Kim asked, amazed by the promptitude and exactitude of the deadline.

JunSu smiled slightly, “I planned how this would work if you ever granted me this opportunity to make this story public when I was in college.”

“How so?” Mr. Kim asked curiously.

“I looked up to your son’s achievements. I was 15 when the tragedy occurred and I wanted to become a singer, but that passed over time, as you can see.” The journalist said lightly.

“Oh, dear! Thank you for loving our JaeJoong!” Mrs. Kim exclaimed, tears in her eyes, while Mr. Kim’s mouth was set in a firm line.

JunSu wanted to say more but his phone rang in that moment, announcing the arrival of the crew, “It seems that we will start now.”

The installation of the equipment went pretty fast, as JunSu read the questions he had prepared to JaeJoong’s parents so they wouldn’t be too surprised. JunSu made sure that the documentary could be shot all in one day so that there would be no delay in the making of it.

They started with light questions about JaeJoong’s baby years and childhood; Mrs. Kim’s eyes were full of light as she spoke about her only child, Mr. Kim occasionally adding details to the stories, eyes also a lot warmer than before.

“JaeJoong liked to paint!” Mrs. Kim suddenly explained, smiling brightly.

“Really?” JunSu asked, curious, not having known that detail about the deceased singer.

“Yes! Let’s go to his room, there are lots of his drawings there.” She suggested, getting up from the couch, not even waiting for a confirmation from JunSu, the journalist making a sign towards one of the camera-men to follow them.

When they reached the room JunSu was surprised to see that it looked lived-in but not quite. There were lots of awards, drawings, posters, but it also looked like an impersonal room, uni, if it weren’t for the awards and the other stuff you wouldn’t be able to tell it was a room where someone liked to live.

“I tried to keep the room clean as if he were alive and would come over after a concert, not wanting to go to his apartment… before he started that relationship with his boyfriend, after that the visits lessened.” JaeJoong’s mother said, bitterness could be heard in her voice.

“May I look around JaeJoong’s room and through his drawings?” JunSu asked.

“Yes, of course!”

JunSu told the cameraman to follow him. He was quite thrilled, his fanboy senses taking over him a little bit. It was every fan’s dream to be in the room that their idol had grown up in. JunSu observed every detail, memorizing it.

When he reached for the first drawing he furrowed his eyebrows. It was JaeJoong on a stage; at the bottom of the drawing “Age: 14” was written neatly. He went over to another drawing, the cameraman following him, recording everything. That drawing was of JaeJoong on the stage again but this time he was holding something that looked like an award, at the bottom being written again an age, 16. Two drawings later, there were two persons in the picture, JaeJoong and a faceless man; an age appeared again, 18.

The drawings went on, each of them having age written at the bottom, each one of them having an event in them; in most of the drawings were JaeJoong and a faceless man.

Reaching towards the last drawings, he observed that in one of them, JaeJoong was on the bed, red all around him, and a gun was lying next to the bed. JunSu inhaled sharply, realizing that’s how JaeJoong had been murdered. But that wasn’t the last drawing; there was another one, with the faceless man and JaeJoong together. They looked angelic.  

Gulping, JunSu turned to see Mrs. Kim looking at him intensely, “When did JaeJoong draw them?” he asked, looking again at the drawing where JaeJoong was dead.

“When he was 14, all of them.” Mrs. Kim replied in a quiet voice, “He revealed all of them only after a certain amount of time.”

JunSu nodded, smiling, a little uncomfortable, “Shall we go and continue the interview downstairs?”

Mrs. Kim agreed and they went back to the living room where the remaining staff was. They spoke a little more about JaeJoong and his teenage years, on how he had wanted to become a lawyer like his father, but he quitted that thought because he loved singing more.

“How did he start dating YunHo?” JunSu asked straightforward.

Mr. Kim grunted while his wife’s face changed suddenly from a serene to grim expression, “They … I don’t really know when they started to date, to be honest. The first meeting they had was when JaeJoong was 18, but they didn’t become that close until later, at least that’s the story I know.” The woman said, taking a deep breath, as if she were preparing herself to speak on the matter.

“Did you like YunHo at first?” JunSu asked something sensitive, knowing that he might get called out for the question, but he needed raw documentary, not some fabricated lie.

Mrs. Kim inhaled sharply, eyes widening at the question, but before she could reply, Mr. Kim interfered, answering for her, “Regretfully, yes, we liked him. He was a nice man who seemed to adore our son and JaeJoong adored him back. We expected them to have a long relationship, not him backstabbing us in the worst way: by killing our son.” He bitterly spat while his wife grabbed his hand for comfort.

“YunHo …” Mrs. Kim started, before pausing, probably to think over what she was going to say without sounding rude. “YunHo was a nice person, a gentleman, every time he picked JaeJoong up he would be considerate to us, bringing us small gifts. I thought it was such a nice thing to mind us too, especially to show his appreciation through gifts that suited our taste. He had learned what we liked, and I loved that about him, but I guess it was just a show.”

JunSu tried his best not to let it get to his head, he knew they hated YunHo for JaeJoong’s death, so opinions of those who disagreed with their feelings weren’t welcomed at all, “It is fair to assume that you no longer regard YunHo in a good light, right?”

Mr. Kim was the one who replied, “I think it is more than obvious that we can’t even bring ourselves to accept he’s living comfortably in prison while we’re still mourning our son.”

JunSu wanted to laugh, really, because the man had just assumed Jung YunHo was living comfortably in prison and that they were the only ones who mourned JaeJoong, but that was understandable. Most of the time humans didn’t think of trying to understand another human being’s position, that’s why conflicts happened, because humans care about what they feel in a certain situation.

“Of course, forgive me for asking such an obvious thing.” JunSu quickly ended the topic, not wanting to get any further into this discussion.

“What were the things that JaeJoong loved to do when he was a teenager?” JunSu asked, smiling brightly.

Mrs. Kim’s face immediately brightened; her whole body composure different from before, “He loved to ride horses!”

“Really?” JunSu asked in surprise; JaeJoong had never mentioned such a thing.

JaeJoong’s mother nodded her head enthusiastically, “He stopped two years after entering the industry, he had had a small accident and his management company told him to stop such activities because his face was theirs, so if anything happened to him … it would be damaging to his career.” The woman related; a sad tone could be heard in her voice even though she tried not to let it show.

JunSu frowned, biting his lower lip; he knew about all the things a person had to do in order to be an artist, a part of his work as a journalist was criticizing these kinds of conditions that made artists’ life a hell; JunSu was disliked for his articles that revealed the dirty entertainment world.

“How were you notified of JaeJoong’s death?” It was one of the questions that he hated himself for asking, but that was something that needed to be asked.

Mr. Kim furrowed his eyebrows, making JunSu wish he weren’t there, the man had a piercing gaze, but Mrs. Kim was the one who answered, “I got – I mean, we got a call in the morning, announcing that our son had been shot dead. I was hysterical, thinking he had been robed or even worse …,” she made a pause, taking a deep breath, “I asked … what happened, how did he die … when they told me that it was his boyfriend who had shot him, at first I didn’t believe it, as I said before, I loved YunHo and how he treated JaeJoong. That was an answer I never expected.” She fell silent and Mr. Kim continued.

“It was devastating … not only did we lose JaeJoong permanently, but we also lost YunHo, he was dear to us for all the happiness he gave to JaeJoong, but after he robbed him of his life, I don’t think all the good things that he had ever done matter anymore.”

Mrs. Kim started speaking again, “Our dislike towards YunHo … it’s not because he wasn’t a good human being, as he might have done good for others too … our dislike towards him is strictly related to him taking the life of our baby. My baby … I gave birth to JaeJoong, I watched him grow up, he was a part of me, any mother can understand my pain and hatred.”

“JaeJoong was a bright child, he never gave us any trouble, he even finished high school and went to college to have a degree and not rely only on his career as a rock-star; he could have done that very easily, after all, he was, still is, very loved.” Mr. Kim spoke, eyes suspiciously glassy and JunSu couldn’t help but feel sorry for them.

“Did you doubt for a moment that YunHo was the one who killed JaeJoong?” JunSu, again, pushed the matter more.

“At first, yes, we did.” Mrs. Kim replied truthfully, wiping off her tears with a tissue, “But as soon as we heard that he pleaded guilty, without any process, without even defending himself, we were sure he was the one who pulled the trigger. There is no room for doubts.”

“How do you feel about JaeJoong’s death now?” He hated these stupid questions, but that’s what the public wanted to hear. JunSu knew people and their curiosities, that’s why he was so appreciated— he gave the public what they wanted.

“When we got over the hysterical part of our mourning, we became quite busy getting his murderer a sentence of life in prison without the possibility of parole, so we just … numbed our pain, but as soon as we were done with that … it all hit us … the fact that he’s never coming back. I still feel the same, lament over the thought of never getting my baby back because he’s dead now.” Mrs. Kim’s tears started to fall down her cheeks, again, while her husband patter her knee in a comforting manner.

“This is the reason we didn’t want to change anything in his room and kept it clean as if he was alive; it is a way to cope with his death.” Mr. Kim explained, the corners of his lips lifting up in a halfhearted smile.

“Will you ever be able to forgive JaeJoong’s killer?” Junsu questioned, not expecting a positive answer.

“No.” Mr. Kim said straightforwardly, not thinking twice.

“I see …,” JunSu muttered as he wrote something in his notebook, “I think we should head towards JaeJoong’s tomb, and pay some respect; I’ve already brought flowers so we could decorate it with them.” He smiled kindly at Mrs. Kim who reciprocated as soon as he mentioned flowers.

“Of course.”

They left for the cemetery where JaeJoong’s body was buried next to his grandparents. It was a pretty depressing thing to do, especially considering that his tomb wasn’t deserted, but surrounded with flowers and candles from his fans. Mrs. Kim cried the whole time, the cameras filming all their movement, while Mr. Kim did his best to maintain a composed stance and a stoic face.

JunSu paid his respects to JaeJoong, bowing in front of the gravestone and then placing down the flowers he had bought for him. JaeJoong would always be Junsu’s favorite singer and one of his role models. JunSu shared JaeJoong’s view of the world, which made it hard for him to believe that everything was so cut and dry.

*****

After a long exhausting day JunSu returned to his house. He wanted to make a perfect documentary and he was giving the editing team a hard time, making their work hours a hell. JunSu, by all means, was a perfectionist, and he didn’t want the biggest project of his life to be any less than impeccable. He owed that to JaeJoong.

The man dialed a number on his phone and put it on speaker while he took off his clothes in a lazy manner, waiting for the person he had called to pick up. After the fourth ring, the person answered.

“Do you have good news for me?” JunSu asked, not bothering to greet the person.

“Nice to hear your voice, JunSu.” The person, a man, said sarcastically, but voice full of fondness.

“Please just answer me, ChangMin, I’m not in the mood for formalities or acting nice, I just want to take a bath and sleep.” JunSu said, sighing.

“You’re only in the mood for niceties when you have my up your , but even then you’re a demanding .” The man laughed, making JunSu smile a little.

“So?”

“Sadly, he keeps rejecting you.” ChangMin muttered, “I really don’t understand why, but it’s his right.” He added and sighed

“Yeah, it’s his right …” JunSu mumbled, obviously annoyed that he got rejected, again, “It was nice to hear from you, ChangMin.”

“I’m sure it was. Wanna meet this weekend?” The man asked, the reason for the meeting pretty obvious— there was only one thing they met up for.

JunSu was tempted to say no, but, remembering he hadn’t got a decent lay in a while, he changed his mind. No one made knew him like ChangMin did. “I’ll text you the place and time,” was the only thing JunSu said before ending the call.

Changmin, to Junsu as a person, was somewhat of a best friend with benefits. They didn’t have a complicated relationship, but they knew each other’s bodies like a map. ChangMin, to JunSu as a journalist, was a golden key to the doors of the most prized interview: Jung YunHo.

Shim ChangMin was Jung YunHo’s best friend, confident, right hand, he was YunHo’s cousin, the only person who stayed by the business man’s side even after everyone turned their backs on him. ChangMin was the one who fought for YunHo and his empire to stand up after the news of the older man being the killer of a popular rock-star Kim JaeJoong went viral.

JunSu met ChangMin when they were in college, the latter already being a senior when JunSu just started. Even though they majored in different things, they still found their way towards each other and clicked in everything: intelligence, view of the world, opinions on politics, liking of sport, and of course, . They both had stressful times during college, and even after that, with their jobs, and the only way to de-stress was by ing each other’s brains out. It was wonderful.

But JunSu didn’t do love. He didn’t believe that it was something that was written for him. However, JunSu knew, he knew, that if he were to want something serious with ChangMin, the man wouldn’t reject him.

*****

The documentary that JunSu had made for the anniversary of JaeJoong’s death was a success. The singer’s parents were extremely pleased with the results and JunSu kept in contact with them. Also, his boss was proud of his achievements and gave him a raise, not that he necessarily needed it, but JunSu knew how to spend it.

The only thing that didn’t work out for him was Jung YunHo accepting his visit requests in prison. If JaeJoong’s parents were a wall he barely crumbled, Jung YunHo was an entire fortress. The man had been refusing to see him for the past five years, however ChangMin tried to persuade him to do so.

Visiting Jung YunHo in prison was one of his ultimate goals.

He needed it.

JunSu was pretty sure he had developed a slight obsession with the man because of all the years he had spent investigating him, but that didn’t matter at all. What mattered was for him to see YunHo face to face, only then he might have some peace and a better night’s sleep.

*****

Two days before the anniversary, when JunSu had already all but lost all hope of making a big headline with the first interview of Jung YunHo, his phone rang, ChangMin’s name appeared on the screen.

In that moment, JunSu knew. He just knew something significant was going to happen, considering how ChangMin was calling at this hour, at noon, and that could only meant that it was something important. Without thinking twice he swiped his finger across the screen to answer the call.

“He wants to meet you today.” ChangMin sounded extremely pleased as he said that, but JunSu didn’t realize at first what he had told him.

“What?!” he asked, not believing his years, heart starting to palpitate.

“I said, YunHo is going to meet you today, he has finally accepted.” ChangMin said chuckling, “He apparently liked your documentary.”

“He liked my … .”JunSu didn’t finish the sentence because holy Jung YunHo liked his documentary!

“Yes he did, anyway, he’ll be waiting for you at 16 pm, I got you in at that hour so you two will be all alone and talk without anyone overhearing,” ChangMin informed him, the sound of papers rustling in the back, “I have to go, have fun with YunHo-hyung!” with that, he hung up.

JunSu looked at the clock and realized he had little time to prepare, professionally and mentally, to finally meet The Jung YunHo after so many years of being denied a visit. It was thrilling, exciting. It was almost as if he was going to meet the person he loved with all his being.

Not wasting a second, he prepared everything perfectly because he was finally meeting the charming killer Jung YunHo.

*****

15:58

That was the time his phone displayed and he felt nauseous waiting for YunHo to be brought into the room. The journalist arrived at the prison at 15:00 and it took him forty minutes to convince himself to get out of the car, and ten more minutes to actually move towards the prison.

It was nerve-racking because he kept imaging how the interview would go, how YunHo would look at him, if he did so, how YunHo would speak, what his gestures would be and how he would connect everything. Would he lie to JunSu or tell the truth? Why did he want to see him now, after all this time, and so late, only two days before JaeJoong’s death anniversary? JunSu sensed he’d not sleep at all until he got his interview typed out, edited and printed on the same day as the anniversary.

This was a huge step for him. Maybe not so important for his career, but for his mental health, just to move on from JaeJoong’s death mystery, he had to know it, write it, and publish it. He simply had to.

It was 16:00 sharp when the door opened, making JunSu hold his breath. He was looking down at his own hands, unable to raise his eyes to look at the man who had just entered. He knew what the man looked like, he had thousands of old pictures of him, but how good-looking was he now? Were the last 10 years harsh on him or not so much? Would his eyes be cold like ones of a killer or would they be as warm as they were when he had looked at JaeJoong whenever they were photographed together?

Exhaling, JunSu raised his head slowly, almond eyes looking at him with outright curiously and amusement. His heart started beating faster and faster as he kept looking at YunHo’s face. He looked good, a little roughed by time, but good nevertheless, his sharp and handsome features didn’t become softer or sloppier during the time in prison. YunHo’s hair was still black, as it had always been, but there were some grey hairs here and there, or maybe it was just the lighting. JunSu couldn’t tell.

JunSu saw YunHo’s lips move, saying something to him, but he didn’t hear anything as his racing heart was the only sound that his ears heard, “Excuse me?” he found himself asking, voice creaking.

That brought amusement to YunHo’s expression, “I said it was nice to meet you, Kim JunSu, ChangMin spoke highly of you.” He said, deep baritone voice melting JunSu’s insides.

It was almost crazy how he felt being so close to one of the men he’d been obsessed with since he was 15 years old. It wasn’t a usual feeling that normal people felt, honestly. People didn’t care about strangers, and to be honest, neither did JunSu, but with YunHo and now dead JaeJoong, the journalist found himself forming a connection that made him restless and feel as if he was really close to those two and the mystery surrounding them, even though the connection wasn’t exactly real, just a fragment of his imagination and the product of his obsession with JaeJoong’s life, which was YunHo. That’s how JunSu saw it, YunHo being JaeJoong’s life.

“It’s nice to finally meet you too.” JunSu spoke after moments of silence and non-stop staring at the older man’s face.

“I thought you were going to be more enthusiastic about this meeting, taking into consideration the several attempts you have made in the past five years to see me,” YunHo idly commented as he inspected JunSu with his eyes.

The journalist frowned, pursing his lips, “I am! It’s just …” he trailed off, gulping down, “I am enthusiastic to meet you, but I keep asking myself if this is real or not.” JunSu smiled nervously, “Like you said … there have been several attempts from my part to meet you, yet every single one of them has failed.”

YunHo’s mouth corners lifted up is something resembling a smile, “I wasn’t scolding you or anything.”

“I know … I just didn’t want you to feel offended. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” JunSu spoke, trying to relax; he was one of the best journalist the country had ever had, he needed to use his professionalism and cool head in this situation too, even if he had YunHo in front of him.

“Pleasure?” YunHo asked, amusement obvious in his voice, “You’re pleased to meet a killer?”

“You’ve supposedly killed one person and I meet people who’ve killed millions by their decisions on a regular.” JunSu replied simply.

“Supposedly?” An eyebrow rose.

“I believe there are two sides to every story.” The journalist commented, tone neutral, trying to make YunHo understand why he was there.

“But I pleaded guilty and I am paying for my sins.” YunHo said, mouth set in a firm line.

“No one just pleads guilty, Mr. Jung, not without a fight. No one stays at the crime scene waiting to be arrested.” JunSu resonated, lips forming a small smile, “No one but someone who has a story behind the act of murder.”

“You’re being silly.” YunHo grimly smiled.

“And your game is getting old. Can we start now?” JunSu asked, surprised by the fact he could keep his cool.

YunHo smirked, “ChangMin was right about you, even when tempted you don’t lose your head.” He breathed in deeply, then continued, “What is it that you want to know?”

JunSu clicked his tongue, leaning in, looking straight into YunHo’s dark orbs, “Everything. From the very beginning.”

“Very well.” YunHo said, leaning back in his chair, “Ask me your questions, Mr. Journalist.”

‘What was JaeJoong to you?” was the first question JunSu asked, not even trying to make the things better for YunHo.

YunHo half smiled, “To me … JaeJoong was beautiful, the ed up kind of beautiful. He always looked so cold but so frail. People always expected the worst from him: that he’s a junkie, a , a gold digger, just because of that cold stunning face he had. Before our relationship was public, I could only stare whenever one of my disgusting male or female acquaintances commented that JaeJoong probably got into the industry with the help of a sponsor and was a luxury e.” A snort came from YunHo, “Jealousy is so ugly, don’t you think so, JunSu? Especially combined with stupidity, that’s how rumors go around and no one really wants to stop them.”

JunSu blinked, not knowing how to answer, “Part of the attention JaeJoong received was because of those groundless rumors … they weren’t an entirely bad thing.”

“Career wise? Yes, it wasn’t a bad thing, but for JaeJoong’s mental health and self-esteem? It was hell.” A pause. “No one, not even his lovely parents, knew how much he cried over the stupid things that were spread about him. No one but me. Fame comes with a price, and JaeJoong paid it; even if he didn’t show the world that stupid bothered him, it did, a lot.”

“Didn’t he try to do anything regarding those things?” JunSu asked, suddenly interested to hear more about JaeJoong personality.

“What could he do? Try and sue every god damn person who spoke with malice about him? Corporate people? Envious wives of powerful men who lusted after JaeJoong? There was nothing he could do but keep his head up and act as if he didn’t hear anything.” YunHo spoke slowly, voice cold and shoulders tense, “Only in our apartment he could let his emotions surface and mourn over his lost public image. Even though none of those rumors could be proven, it still somehow affected his image. Again, good for his career, not his own self. More people paid attention to him because of those rumors, lusted over him, bought tickets to his concerts, tried to picture it as if he were a walking machine.”

“How did this situation reflect on your love life?” JunSu asked, brows furrowed, suddenly angry at stupidity of mediocre people.

“Apart from the double amount of comfort and love I gave JaeJoong? Nothing. Our relationship was solid even when these rumors started to appear more frequently and nothing could have made me lose my trust in him, and the same went for JaeJoongie.” YunHo mustn’t have realized that he had called his late lover JaeJoongie, but JunSu did, and it brought a familiar ache to his heart.

“How did you two actually meet and how did your relationship begin?” JunSu questioned, smiling a little, “There are so many stories here and there about the start of your relationship with JaeJoong that no one really knows which one to believe.”

“Contrary to the popular beliefs, we met when he was 18 years old but didn’t start our relationship until two years later; it was something JaeJoong had wanted, because if I got my way, we’d be dating after the first week we met. I was smitten with him from the minute I laid my eyes on him.” YunHo explained, eyes sparkling with something JunSu couldn’t read.

“What was your first impression of JaeJoong? The very first one.” JunSu wondered why YunHo was being so cooperative, not wrinkling his nose at the questions he was asked and not caring about how he sounded.

“That he was just like snow― beautiful, but cold.” YunHo replied simply, “We were at a party and he was standing alone by one of the tables, looking thoroughly uncomfortable, in the moment I saw his face, I knew that something will tie us for many years.”

“How was your relationship? Did you two fight a lot? How did each of your families took the news of you two getting together?” The journalist prepared the grounds for the real issue with those silly and cheesy questions; he knew that YunHo liked games, so he was trying his best to play a good one.

“We had a normal relationship, JunSu, but you wouldn’t really know what that involves, would you?” YunHo shot back rudely, but JunSu didn’t even flinch, knowing that was the truth, “We argued a lot, JaeJoong was an aggressive person while I was passive-aggressive when it came to him, and he hated that, always trying to make me angry.” YunHo let out a breathless, short laugh, “It was only because he knew what awaited him after we fought: mind-blowing .” A smirk appeared on the ex-business man face, “Our families weren’t against our relationship, mine knew about my ual orientation and they were supportive and his family also soon warmed up to me. We didn’t have drama, like families being against what he and I had; our Christmases and birthdays were full of joy when the families got together.”

“Did you ask for JaeJoong’s parents’ forgiveness?” JunSu asked straightforwardly.

“Should I?”

For the first time since he got in the same room with YunHo, JunSu felt scared, something about the way the man asked that made him shiver. What was all of that about? Shouldn’t he want to be forgiven for killing someone’s son, whatever the reason was?

“Did JaeJoong paint in his free time? While I was at his parents’ house I saw some of his paintings and he was pretty talented.” JunSu slowly made his way to the main reason he was there― to know more about the night JaeJoong died.

YunHo narrowed his eyes for a few seconds before he replied “Sometimes. Most of his paintings ended up in the trash bin because he was a perfectionist and didn’t like how his technique, apparently, had got bad.”

JunSu’s phone started to ring, ChangMin’s name appeared on the screen, and before he could utter a word, YunHo spoke, “This is a hint that today’s meeting is over. It was nice to meet you, Kim JunSu!”

“Today’s meeting?” JunSu asked, obviously confused; he thought he was going to end everything today so he could prepare his article the next day, and there was time for him to finish the interview and there would be no need for a second meeting.

“I am afraid your visit ended and tomorrow is going to be a new day, perfect for the other part of the story.”YunHo spoke in a monotone voice.

Before JunSu could utter another word, a guard entered the room and ordered YunHo to get up. As he watched how they took away the older male, JunSu asked himself if this wasn’t all just a part of a plan, because everything seemed too well planned.

*****

JunSu couldn’t sleep all night even though he finished editing and arranging the first part of the interview at around 2am. He was too excited for what came next in YunHo’s story. JunSu knew he was going to find out the details that no one knew regarding JaeJoong’s death.

The journalist didn’t go to work that day, sending all he’d written to his boss from home, who gladly let him have some days off after being promised a great interview with YunHo. His boss had become extremely cooperative when he heard about JunSu visiting the famous Jung YunHo that no one could reach.

As he was getting ready to leave, two hours early, for the prison, ChangMin sent him a text asking to pick up some kind of food and a cake for YunHo because he’d asked for them. JunSu was confused as to why the man would request something like that, but he went and got the food and the cake with no questions. After all, he liked YunHo and he didn’t mind to give him anything he wanted.

JunSu was scheduled to see YunHo at 18:00, two hours later than the day before. At 17:45 he reached the prison and this time, he wasted not a minute to get there to meet YunHo.

The man was waiting for him inside the room, face as peaceful as ever. JunSu smiled to himself, unable to ignore the fact that YunHo looked so great even though he had spent the last years in prison. He could put to shame lots of other free mem who looked horrible compared to YunHo.

“Hello, JunSu!” The man greeted him as soon as he entered the room.

“Good evening, YunHo! I bought you dinner like ChangMin had instructed me to,” JunSu spoke as he placed the bags with food on the table, taking out the food containers and pushing them towards YunHo, together with the plastic fork and knife.

The prisoner raised an eyebrow in amusement, “Plastic knife? How can I cut steak with it?” he asked, chuckling to himself.

“They took the metal ones when they checked me outside, I bought you real ones because I knew a man like you wouldn’t even consider eating steak with plastic knife and fork.” JunSu replied, sighing deeply.

YunHo snorted and took the plastic knife in his hand looking at it as if it was one of the most amusing things in the world. JunSu pursed his lips, wondering if YunHo was a bit nuts. That question never passed through his mind until this very moment as he observed the man chuckle at a plastic knife.

Getting up from his seat, JunSu went to the door to speak to the officer, “I request metal cutlery for the inmate Jung YunHo.” He said in a tone full of authority.

“With all due respect, I am afraid I can’t help you with that.” The officer said, not even looking unapologetic.

“Oh! But I think you can, so go and bring them to me, if Mr. Jung wanted to stab me he’d do it with a plastic knife as well.” JunSu argued, frowning slightly.

“But, sir …” The officer tried to argue, but the journalist interrupted him.

“I will deal with your superiors, now go and bring me the cutlery.” JunSu said, turning around and closing the door, absolutely sure that the officer would do as he was told.

“You didn’t have to do that,” YunHo said as he watched JunSu walk back to his seat.

The journalist looked at him and smiled, “You’re right, I didn’t have to, but I wanted to.”

The door opened and an officer walked towards the table and placed the cutlery down on it, “My supervisor said I must accompany you throughout his meal so you won’t get hurt.”

JunSu sighed in annoyance and rolled his eyes, “Tell your supervisor that if YunHo wanted to kill me he would already do that. Also, I recall that YunHo’s conduit has been excellent all these years so why be afraid now?” the journalist asked, tone cold as ice, “Get out and let the man eat his freaking steak in peace!”

The officer sighed, seeing that the journalist was too stubborn to understand his position, nodded and walked towards the door and left the room, leaving the door ajar to be able to hear whatever happened inside the room.

“You’re quite persistent, JunSu.” YunHo said, an amused grin playing on his lips.

“I do my best!” The man replied, smiling a little, “Now eat before it gets even colder.”

YunHo nodded and took the fork and knife in his hands to slice the deer steak, “ChangMin still knows what I like,” YunHo said as he took a bite of his steak.

“ChangMin knows a lot about you, apparently,” JunSu said, smiling slightly.

YunHo took a gulp of the sparkling water before replying, “We grew up together, he knows as much about me as I know about him.” He paused, “I also know about you two.”

JunSu shifted uncomfortably in his seat and cleared his throat, “We’re just two lonely people.” He commented drily, “Anyway, how come deer steak is your favorite kind of steak?” JunSu lamely asked, trying to change the subject. What a great journalist you are! He grimly thought

YunHo smirked, knowing what JunSu had just done, but let him get away with it once, “I loved to hunt. My father took me to shooting classes since I was 14. That was one of the reasons JaeJoong chose me.” He said as he sliced one more bite from the steak. The last one, because he’d already started telling the story, and he disliked eating while talking.

“Chose you?” Came the question that YunHo expected.

“Exactly. Chose me.” YunHo confirmed, taking a deep breath, “Everything JaeJoong had ever done in his life, except for one thing, was planned, analyzed and calculated.”

JunSu’s jaw tensed, “You make it sound like he was a sociopath.”

“Really?” YunHo exclaimed, “Maybe he was one.”

“No way!” JunSu’s protest came out way too fast.

“Come on, JunSu, you’re smarter than this.” YunHo quietly said.

JunSu bit his lip, trying not to let his emotions take over him, “Please continue.”

YunHo sighed, “Like I said, everything that’s happened in JaeJoong’s life was planned; our relationship was planned, why I was the one he chose was planned, how he died was planned, how the world would react to his death was the objective.”

“What?” JunSu asked not believing what he was hearing, “Are you trying to tell me that JaeJoong’s death was planned by him? Are you serious?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” YunHo asked calmly, having already expected this kind of reaction.

JunSu froze, seeing the calmness with which YunHo replied to him, as if he was ready for him to distrust anything he said, “Do you have evidence to prove your statement?”

“Of course,” YunHo said, smiling, “I don’t go to war with empty hands.”

The journalist searched for anything that could give him a sign that YunHo was lying to him, that he was making up a story, but the man just sat there, eyes cold but sincere, a calm expression on his face, “Okay … please start with the beginning.”

“I am glad you decided to continue with this, JunSu. I knew there was a reason I chose you. Our love for JaeJoong.” YunHo said, smiling slightly.

“We met at a party when he was 18. I saw him first, but didn’t approach him, someone told me not to because he was … dangerous. They were afraid of him because of his cold looks. JaeJoong could be intimidating when he wanted, but back then he was just shy. And uncomfortable with crowds.” YunHo spoke slowly, as if he was getting flashbacks to that very first day he first saw JaeJoong. “He was the one to approach me. I went to the bathroom and when I had done my business and was washing my hands he appeared.”

YunHo made a pause.

“My heart still does this thing, like it did back then, when I remember how beautiful he looked, with his big brown eyes looking at me with curiosity. He greeted me and started a casual conversation about how boring the party was. And it was indeed a boring party, even though my father was the one who hosted it. I loved the fact that he wasn’t afraid to tell that to a mere stranger. Not afraid of speaking his mind, a rare thing back then, and still is these days.”

JunSu felt like a child listening to his father tell him a fairytale, “Did you hit off since that night?” JunSu asked, full of curiosity.

“Not really,” YunHo replied, “He made his way out of the bathroom pretty fast and left the party with his manager. I was angry, and a little bit jealous. I couldn’t help but think there was something between them. I was just a fool. A jealous fool.” A chuckle.

“When did you meet next after that party?” JunSu asked curiously, not wasting another second to find out what followed.

“To my surprise, we met at the shooting range. JaeJoong was so lost there, I still remember how happy he was when his eyes landed on me. JaeJoong was alone there, I didn’t see his manager, so he was a little bit overwhelmed. I helped and guided him to what he wanted to do: getting his gun license so he could feel safe in his own house. He lived alone.” YunHo chuckled, “In reality, years later he confessed that he went there only to get in touch with me, to get closer to me, to follow the development of his plan.”

“That’s creepy.” JunSu quietly said.

“I found it adorable.” The ex-business man smiled lazily, “He was just like a cat, you know, he looked cold and kept you at distance at first, but then he opened his soul to me … and since then I was smitten.”

“Isn’t it like that with everyone though?” JunSu asked, slightly uncomfortable with the love talk. He’d never fallen in love.

“I don’t know. I didn’t have anyone before JaeJoong, not anyone serious, at least. I didn’t have that person who made me want to wake up from my dreams and feel excited for tomorrow or for a future together. That’s what JaeJoong became for me.” Yunho described, “Those are wonderful things to have, JunSu. Maybe one day you’ll feel the same.”

“I doubt it.” JunSu quietly said. “What followed from there?”

YunHo readjusted his position in his chair, looking up at the ceiling for a moment, before he spoke again, “Heaven. Pure bliss.” Pause. “We went out on dates. Simple dates, I drove him around, or my chauffer did. We ate ice-cream in the winter, even though JaeJoong had to take care of his voice, he always told me that his fans would back him up even if he sang like a goat during the concerts.” Chuckle. “We loved to take walks, away from the paparazzi, always disguising ourselves with shabby clothes so we could pass unnoticed. I loved those times. I just loved the time I spent together with JaeJoong.’”

JunSu swallowed the lump he had in his throat, “Then why … why did it happen?”

“You mean why did I kill JaeJoong?” YunHo asked and JunSu nodded, “Because he asked me to. I told you that JunSu.”

“It is hard for me to digest this information, YunHo. How could anyone plan his or her death?” JunSu was honestly confused, because from what YunHo had told him, he loved JaeJoong like nothing else in his life, then why did YunHo kill his lover, his reason to live?

“JaeJoong was everything to me. I did whatever he asked me to do, even if I didn’t like what he asked. And that was just one of those times.” The prisoner said.

“Still …” JunSu tried to protest, but YunHo cut him off.

“Let me continue … and maybe you’ll understand me. Or maybe you won’t, but I want to tell you these things that no one but me knows.” YunHo pleaded softly.

“Okay, I am sorry, please go on.” JunSu answered, feeling slightly sorry for interrupting YunHo talking.

“We only made our relationship official after two years full of dates and constant happiness. Our families got along, JaeJoong’s father was happy because he could do business with my father while his mother loved the attention their family got because their son was dating a Jung.” YunHo snorted, “I started to care for them like my own family, and I didn’t judge them for turning their backs on me after the incident. Luckily for me, my dad died two years prior to that night and my mother was long gone from the world of living even before I met JaeJoong.”

“Did JaeJoong’s parents try to contact you?” JunSu asked, feeling curious regarding the attitude of Kim family.

“Yes, I never received their messages, but they made sure to harass ChangMin and spat their venom and anger at him,” YunHo frowned, “I’ll forever be indebted to ChangMin for everything he’s done for me and for my parent’s fortune.”

JunSu only smiled, he was getting a little nervous because of how much ChangMin was mentioned this time.

“Ah, I am getting too talkative and I am slipping away from our initial subject. So … JaeJoong and me were happy, we had our ups and downs, both of us were extremely jealous and possessive, but that only did our relationship good, and the makeup was great, of course.” An airy laugh. “It wasn’t until a month before his death that he revealed his plan to me. I will never forget that night.” A deep breath, “That night JaeJoong told me how he wanted to die, when he wanted to die, and how he wanted me to do that. To kill him. To help him fulfill his plan.”

“And you accepted?” JunSu’s strangled voice was heard, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing even though YunHo told him the same thing twice.

“At first? No. I was outraged, disgusted by what he was asking me to do, I thought, and wished that, perhaps, it was just a dumb joke of his. But he was serious. He got angry I didn’t believe him and threw his diary in my face.” He took a deep breath, “His diary where he wrote every detail of how he wanted to die. Details on how to find someone “perfect” to end his life, all the qualities that person had to possess.”

“That’s … are you for real?” JunSu asked, disbelief could be heard in his voice, but when YunHo nodded, he didn’t know what to feel.

How were you supposed to feel when you discovered such things about the person you admired so much, things that didn’t necessary suit that person or you never believed could be possible to be told about that person? Anger, sadness, confusion?

“Yes … I have it in my cell, I can give it to you … and you can do a handwriting analysis to see if it is identical to JaeJoong’s to prove it is true, all that it is written there,” YunHo offered, and JunSu could hear the sincerity in his voice.

“But I don’t get it, YunHo, why are you telling me just now … why didn’t you help yourself with that diary? Why did you actually kill JaeJoong? How did you decide?” JunSu asked all the questions that were running through his mind, all this new information was so hard to digest for him that he didn’t know what to do other than just listen to YunHo’s story and try not to burst into tears of frustration.

YunHo stayed quiet for a moment, looking at his hands, “I just wanted to come out clean after a long period of meditating regarding this thing. I didn’t want to get out of prison … there is nothing for me out there, JaeJoong isn’t there and I have nothing without him.” A gulp. “I killed JaeJoong because I always did what he asked me to. As crazy as it sounds, I didn’t want anyone else to do it.”

“What?!” JunSu exclaimed, feeling sick to his stomach from YunHo’s words.

“JaeJoong swore to me, the moment he saw me freaking out at his plan, that he will find another man to do that.” YunHo said, jaw tensed. “He promised me he’d find another guy to do the job and he would let him him before killing him.” A shuddered breath. “I got insanely jealous at the sole thought of someone having such an intimate moment with JaeJoong.” A chuckle. “He always knew how to bring out the worst in me, the ugliest side a person can have.”

“JaeJoong … he sounds … he was crazy, YunHo, he made you do an awful thing,” JunSu said compassionately, reaching for YunHo’s hands, but the man didn’t let the journalist touch him.

“No, he asked me … I ended up doing it, he didn’t make me do anything.” YunHo said, shaking his head, “No, he loved me, but he needed to follow his plan. JaeJoong only wanted to have a glorious life story. And he got it.”

“But YunHo … someone just doesn’t wake up one day and says “hey, in the near future, let me find someone whom I will ask to kill me” just to get a great life story!” JunSu exclaimed, getting angry at the way YunHo saw things.

“JunSu … people wake up daily … with thoughts in their head of how to get through another day, and just like that JaeJoong woke up one day with thoughts of him wanting to control his death.” YunHo said, sounding completely illogical, but seemingly making sense.

“Yeah, by putting someone innocent behind the bars. If he wanted to have control over his death, why didn’t he just pull the trigger himself?” JunSu asked, angry, angry with JaeJoong, angry with YunHo, angry at everything.

“He was scared,” YunHo said, smiling softly, “JaeJoong was scared of death.”

JunSu stared at the man in front of him, the man he once thought he was so powerful and strong, the man he admired. Now, hearing what he was saying, he could only feel pity for him because he fell in the hands of a snake like JaeJoong, “But he still wanted to die.”

“Yeah, he was brave to write this down, his death. He could have lived together with me, JunSu. We had everything, we had a great future ahead. But he chose to do what scared him the most. JaeJoong chose me to accompany him to his last waltz with life.” YunHo’s words made no sense to JunSu.

JunSu released a shaken breath, trying to make himself believe this was ing real and not just a dream, “How did it happen? How did you do it?” How could you say you love him when you pulled the trigger that killed him? JunSu wanted to ask that, he wanted to ask that so badly, but how he could shatter YunHo even more? He was already broken beyond repair. JaeJoong succeeded in not only ending his own life, but ruining YunHo’s too. He was surprised YunHo was still alive and the psycho didn’t ask him to commit suicide.

“I didn’t have to do much … I just had to follow the steps that were written in the diary and prepare everything, all the while acting like nothing was happening, like we were before, normal and happy. Except both of us knew our relationship would end soon.” A pause. “I cried so much during that month behind JaeJoong’s back, I knew nothing could change his mind, which was the thing that tormented me. I loved him so much, JunSu, I don’t know how to tell you and make you believe that I loved him so much. Too much maybe.” Another pause. “Maybe if I loved him less I wouldn’t have followed his plan, and try to get him some medical help. Maybe if I loved him less … I would have been able to stay away from him if they hospitalized him.”

Maybe he wasn’t the only one who was crazy; that was what JunSu wanted to say as he listened to YunHo. The journalist didn’t have any idea what YunHo was talking about. How the hell could you love someone so much you’d kill them at their request? How? Was that love? Was that really love or just pure insanity in disguise?

“You loved him,” JunSu stated, after some moments of silence, “But did he love you?” he questioned, waiting for an angry reaction.

“That’s not relevant in our talk,” YunHo’s gaze hardened.

“Of course it is,” JunSu insisted.

“No it is not, you’re not here as a psychologist, JunSu, you’re here to listen to my story, that’s it,” YunHo said, voice cold and sharp.

“I’m sorry,” JunSu apologized, biting his lip softly, “Please go on.”

The look in YunHo’s eyes changed again, and this time, JunSu wasn’t sure if YunHo was even looking at him anymore, or if he were present spiritually in the room.

“I rented a suite in JaeJoong’s favorite hotel, like he’d mentioned in his plan, I followed every single step, it looked like I was getting ready to propose to him or preparing an anniversary celebration. I could hear envy in the woman’s voice I ordered so many red roses from to fill the suite.” A laughter. “It’s so hard for me to talk about it, I remind myself of that night every single day. I don’t want to forget the last day I spent with JaeJoong for the rest of my life. The day I last held him in my arms.”

YunHo took a deep breath and continued, “We dined out … as if I wasn’t going to kill him that night. As if he didn’t know he’d die. It shattered my heart to sit opposite JaeJoong, do small talk pretentiously, when we both knew what awaited us. For him, death; for me, a world without him.”

JunSu opened his mouth to say something, but YunHo cut him off, “I’ll say it in one go; don’t interrupt me.” The prisoner his dry lips and continued, “After we finished our dinner we went to the hotel where everything was going to happen. I was so tense, I kept reminding myself the steps and what I had to do, how to do it. When we entered the suite, I just broke down in tears. JaeJoong was trying to be stoic, but I saw tears in his eyes too. I pleaded him, to stop this madness and let me take him on a round the world journey, just the two of us, to heal everything inside of him, but he didn’t want to. JaeJoong wanted to follow his plan, like everything he did in his life, he wanted it so much.”

Tears fell on YunHo’s cheeks, the man didn’t even bother to hide them, it was obvious time didn’t heal his wounds; he just the drops off, like a wild animal, “As I was trying to collect myself, he got undressed as he was walking around the suite to see all the roses, like he was performing some sort of a ritual. When he was fully , JaeJoong sat on the bed and looked at me, he said ‘are you going to do this?’ and at that moment … that damn moment I knew there was no going back. He wasn’t going to live for me. JaeJoong never wanted to live, he just wanted time to pass so he could achieve what he wanted. His plan was his reason to live, while JaeJoong was my reason to live.”

A sigh. “We made love one last time; that wasn’t in his plan, but I pleaded for that last thing to happen between us, and surprisingly he agreed. He cried as I ed him into the mattress, he repeatedly told me he loved me, like a litany, and I reciprocated. I don’t know what got into him then, but I like to think, that for a moment, while I held him in my arms, he didn’t want to die. JaeJoong wanted to live for me. A pathetic thing, I know, but that was one of the thoughts that kept me sane all these years.”

JunSu wanted to throw up from everything he was hearing. The JaeJoong he thought he knew and the JaeJoong YunHo was presenting to him were two different people. All the information YunHo fed him made him sick to his stomach, but despite that, he wanted to hear everything until the end. He wanted to know how YunHo found the strength to kill his lover. The lover he claimed to love so much.

JunSu didn’t understand love, and now he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to feel it, knowing what it could make you think was right.

“After we were done with our love making, I forced myself to get up from the bed, away from JaeJoong’s warm body, and go to fetch the gun that was going to take him away from me.” A long pause. “I shot him in his heart as he looked straight into my eyes. It will haunt me forever how his warm big brown eyes turned lifeless in a matter of seconds, as every function in his body ceased, as he died.” A sniff, “I waited for the police to come as I dressed JaeJoong in his clothes so they wouldn’t see his body.”

JunSu took a long deep breath, trying hard not to scream in the man’s face that he was insane, that JaeJoong ed up every bit of his sanity with his incredibly dumb selfish psychopathic request. But he didn’t do any of the sort, instead, he just found himself saying, “I will get you out of here. I promise.”

YunHo half smiled in spite of his tears, “You can’t.”

“Of course I can,” JunSu said offended, “I will move mountains if I have to, but I will get you out of here. I can’t believe no one dug deeper in this case to help you. It is revolting!”

“I pleaded guilty, JunSu. No one cared enough to look for anything else. You won’t be able to do anything.” It was a fact.

“I don’t care!” The journalist got up from his chair and banged his fist against the table, “I’ll get you the out of here. I am leaving right now to finish the article and send it to my editor, tomorrow morning I will make sure ChangMin does all the necessary procedures to reopen your case. You will have to give us that damn diary and we will get you out of here.”

He was fuming, he couldn’t believe YunHo gave up everything for the love that he claimed he had for JaeJoong while the other just used him to get his sick story a becoming finish. Who did that? What kind of monster would do that?

“I’m going now.” JunSu announced, not even turning around to say goodbye to YunHo, he didn’t have to. He was going to make sure the man would get out and then JunSu himself would help him get back on his feet, to get his life back.

YunHo only watched as the young man stormed out of the door extremely angry. He smiled, flattered someone could be so involved in a case that didn’t affect him personally, bound to it only by a silly attachment to the people JunSu thought he and JaeJoong were. It was amusing, and kind of heartwarming, to know that people who were that naive still existed, who held those pure feelings inside. He just hoped that JunSu would find a person who could share his pure feelings.

YunHo had to get ready.

He didn’t have a lot of time on his hands.

Lovers’ reunions were the sweetest ones.

*****

JunSu didn’t sleep at all. His night was filled with phone-calls to ChangMin sandwiched in between writing paragraphs for his exposé. He didn’t believe the things JunSu told him about YunHo and JaeJoong’s case, it took him a couple of hours to fully understand that the journalist didn’t lie or make it up.

If this exposé was a career breakthrough for JunSu before, now it was the only way to get YunHo out. Propaganda in these cases was a big factor, and coming from a top newspaper, everyone was bound to read and discuss it, and maybe, maybe, sympathize with YunHo and help him get the man his life back.

The journalist made sure to fully explain how insane JaeJoong was and how YunHo was just a victim manipulated into committing all those things in the name of love. The love that brought him only pain and disgrace. The love that was the reason for him to wake up every day and look forward to it every night when he closed his eyes. The love that made him dream about future. The love that took his freedom away.

In the wee hours of the morning, as he waited for his editor to confirm that the article was ready to be published, JunSu got a call from ChangMin. He wasn’t expecting one so soon, but taking into consideration what he’d disclosed to him, the male must have lots of questions and doubts.

“He’s dead.”

That was what greeted him as soon as he accepted the call.

“What do you mean? Who is dead?” JunSu asked, even though deep down inside he knew who was dead, but he didn’t want to believe that.

“YunHo. YunHo is dead.” ChangMin replied, voice hoarse, dripping with sadness.

“You’re not serious!” was the only thing JunSu could say.

“I wouldn’t joke about something like that!” The CEO barked into the phone.

“He can’t be dead! He can’t! We needed to get him out of that prison. He could have had his life back!” JunSu yelled hysterically into the phone.

“He’s dead. He can’t get anything back, oh, JunSu, how much he suffered in there, knowing that he was forced to do the thing he did.” ChangMin sobbed through the phone, but JunSu only ended the call.

Dead. YunHo was dead. And Junsu couldn’t help him anymore. He couldn’t help that poor man get back on his feet after the person he loved the most threw him into the pits of a prison because of a sick dream of his.

Not wasting time, JunSu put on some clean clothes, washed his face with cold water and headed towards the prison. When he reached the building, he saw ChangMin’s car parked. Taking his last bit of courage he went inside the building.

When ChangMin’s eyes landed of him, JunSu felt air being knocked out of his lungs. The man’s beautiful big eyes were red and puffy. He was engulfed in a bone-crushing hug by the younger male, and as much as he didn’t want to hug him back, he did. JunSu held ChangMin’s body tight in his arms as he was trembling. No sound was made, nothing. No one said anything, ChangMin didn’t cry, he just held JunSu in his arms as if his last bit of sanity depended on that.

“Changmin!” JunSu whispered after a while, “Talk to me, please!” he coaxed the male, running a soothing hand along ChangMin’s back.

“He’s gone.” Was the only thing ChangMin said to him, “He’s ing gone.”

“How?” JunSu asked, holding ChangMin’s body closer to his own.

“Suicide. He hung himself with his bed sheets, the guards found him this morning. It was the last instruction.” ChangMin said, voice trembling, “That ing man he loved told him to kill himself 10 years later.”

JunSu couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He couldn’t grasp the idea of someone being so selfish they continued to hurt people for a decade after their death. Not only did JaeJoong hurt YunHo in unimaginable ways, he also demanded the man must kill himself. And he did it. He ing did it. YunHo loved JaeJoong until his last breath.

“Excuse me!” A voice interrupted their moment, and both JunSu and ChangMin reluctantly broke the hug.  “There is a note left, which one of you is Kim JunSu?” The man, a guard, asked, holding a piece of paper in his hands.

JunSu took the piece of paper with shaky hands; he could feel ChangMin’s curious gaze on him, but it didn’t matter that much, because Yunho wanted to tell him more. Him. Someone he only talked to twice in his life.

On the piece of paper, in YunHo’s neat handwriting, the following was written,

I lied to you. JaeJoong did love me. He proved it by not letting me live alone for a long time. He asked me to follow him in death, to keep waltzing, as we did before.

I truly want you to find that person you’d die for JunSu.

Or for the matter of fact, to kill for.

As he bitterly ripped the paper to pieces, he couldn’t help but feel jealous of the love YunHo had for JaeJoong.

The love that went beyond death and morals.

 I am sorry for the wait, it was harder for me to write it than I first thought. I hope you guys enjoyed this ... dark fic, hahaha. 
Thank you for reading it !