It was Sunday again. He had been waiting for it all week. He had read the passage in the bible that she had recited to him the week before. At night when he couldn't sleep, he read the passages over and over again. He hasn't opened his bible in a while. Even before the accident. He knew about Job. But to read about his life again made him think about his life in perspective. He thought he was the most suffering person in the world. He now knew he wasn't. Nit that it made him feel better about the people who are suffering more but he was beginning to think that it was a test but not as cruel as he thought it was.

He had been sitting there for a while now but she had not arrived. A part of him was relieved that she wasn't there. A part of him kept making him look towards the direction that she usually comes from. Small movements from the bushes make him look up thunking she had arrived only to feel disappointed that she wasn't there. Wasn't this what you wanted? He thought to himself. The place is his now. She left like he had asked her to.

But the thought made him feel empty. Just when he thought tat he was as hollow as he could ever be. He guessed that she had given up on him after what he had said the week before. He really cannot blame her nor did he take it against her. Yuna shouldn't be associating herself with him.  Who knows what the verdict is going to be. He could go to jail in a few months. The thought scared him. He could spend the next five years behind bars. There will be no shows, no concerts, no singing. He wouldn't be Kang Daesung the singer anymore but Kang Daesung the inmate.

He thought of what he would become. After a year, his fans might still be there. After two, there'd be less of them. By the third year, there wouldn't be any. When he gets out, he will be forgotten. Ani. He wouldn't be. He would forever be known as the singer who drove over another guy and killed him. His name would be synonymous to that. He would be walking on the street with his head low, scared of people recognizing him.

The sun was already up but she hasn't arrived. When people started arriving for mass, Daesung knew that she wasn't coming at all. With a heavy heart, he left the place. For the first time ever, he looked back. Just one more look in case she came after all. Only to find the bench empty.

The next week, he was getting agitated. She hasn't arrived either. He had been regretting what he had said to her for the past two weeks and he had been memorizing his apology for that long too.

"Aish! Jinja!" 

He now had more reasons to stay up late at night and wake up really early in the morning. His worries seem to be piling up. He wondered why he was so concerned with her anyways. It wasn't like she was of any importance to him. They were still practically strangers.

But for the past month and two weeks, hers was the only company he had allowed himself to have. After the accident, he had been avoiding people like plague. But he had allowed her to sit with him when he could have moved to another bench. After all, he didn't care much about coming off as rude. But he didn't. If Daesung was honest with himself, he would have accepted how he liked having her sit next to him. Humming her songs, swaying softly in his peripherals.

He wondered what happened to her. Did she take into heart what he had said? Ill she ever come back? He sighed with the thought that she wont. He guessed he will have to find some way to apologize. Maybe not now but years down the road. A part of him was protesting. He sighed once more. Why is he getting all worked up with a girl when he had bigger problems to face. The settlement had not been reached and there are a lot of articles going round about it.

Seung Hyun had told him how some people from YG who had been involved in the settlement had been fired by Sajangnim. Apparently, his CEO did not like what he had heard about how Daesung was not as important to YG according to the said representatives. He didn't know what to say with that. He appreciated what his CEO was doing for him. He had not been able to read the articles no matter how much it itched that he do. He did not want to know the amount of ridicule that he would have earned. Netizens could be very harsh and unforgiving. He was scared that he will come out raw and scarred as never before.

It would t be long before the verdict though. The results of the investigation that would make or break him. He sighed some more. He was looking forward to today. Hoping that her presence would give him some sense of calm but she was not there.

He stayed longer that day. He used to leave before people come in for mass. This time he stayed until it was over. Wondering himself why he did so. He found himself in front of the church. He didn't know if he would come in or not. What was more important was what he was doing there. The mass was over, the people had gone.

He was pacing back in forth in front of the church when someone called out to him.

"Park Haneul-shi." He greeted the church administrative.

"It's been a while, Daesung-shi."

"Ne." He agreed. He was debating if he should ask.

"You should come to mass soon." 

"Ne." He agreed. Not wanting to let the administrator know how he had no plans to. That would have been a very awkward conversation. He couldn't look the guy in the eyes too. His shame was bigger than him. He knows that he knows. Although, he had known the man for years, being a friend of his parents and seeing him for the regular donations he made to the church, he was still wary of him in light of his circumstances.

"Well, I'll better get going." Said Mr. Park, realizing how he was in no mood to talk.

"Ahjussi....." He called out.

"Ne?"

"Yuna-shi...." 

"Ahhhh.. I thought you'd never asked." He said.

He got confused. And Mr. Park seemed to have noticed.

"Yuna said to tell you that she couldn't come. She was hospitalized." He may have noticed the change in his reaction. "She's recuperating now. She told me not to tell you unless you asked." He said with a smile. 

"When will she be back?" He asked surprising himself as well with the question.

"She said she'll be back next week." He said. Daesung nodded.

He thanked the administrator when he said. "Ani. Thank you! If it weren't for your donations and Yuna's, we wouldn't have been able to renovate the church." He said while glancing at the church. Daesung just nodded again. Too caught up with the fact that Yuna had been sick.

"Daesung-ah..." He looked up. "I am praying for you.be strong."

The statement had surprised him. He had known the man since he was a kid. But he never thought he cared enough to do that for him.

"Komaho." He meant it. He sincerely was thankful.

While walking home, he kept thinking about Yuna. It wasn't rare for him to do so these past weeks although it irked him to do so. He had more important things to thinks about and here she was monopolizing them. His thoughts always swayed back to her. I just want to apologize. He rationalized. He guessed he will be seeing her next week and be done with his apology.

He walked to the church a little early than he normally did the week after. It was uncharacteristic. He had noticed that his nightmares lessened. He was thinking that it may have been because of the girl who occupies most of his waking hours now. His days were spent with thinking about her, the accident then back to her. His parents seemed to have noticed the change and his mother had liked it, commenting once over dinner. Because for once, he joined them for dinner when he used to spend it locked up in his room.

He waited for her to arrived and got a little annoyed when she was not as early as he had hoped. She wasn't late though. He was just too early. What could be taking her so long?

He noticed her approaching. He acted as if he didn't and looked away. His heart thumping like crazy. It was new. He had never felt this before.

"Anyeong."

He looked her up, acting as if surprised to see her. "Anyeong." 

She looked rather pale. He wondered why she had been hospitalized but didn't ask, hoping she would tell him on her own accord.

She offered him a sandwich like always which he had accepted. He had missed this. Wait! Did he just say he missed it? Ani. It was just the sandwich. He shook his head absentmindedly. When he looked at her, he was looking at him quizzically. She then broke into a smile. Something he hasn't seen in a while. It made him a little out of breath.

"It was just over exertion. The exams were coming up and i had a lot of things to do and less sleeping time so......" She said, answering the question he couldn't bear himself to ask. 

"Did you miss me?" She asked with that grin on her face. She seemed to have found a new level of confidence from the last time they talked as he remembered how she was stammering then.

"Ani." He said with a scowl. Who does she thinks she is? World renowned, ice skating gold medalist who everyone adored. A voice inside his head said. Whatever!

She pouted a little. "Were you worried about me?" 

"Ani." He said. A little softly.

She may have noticed it and her smile broadened from her pout. He was worried. He wanted to ask why she got hospitalized. But held himself. He was not to give her any ideas.

"You should've called me instead of asking Park ahjussi. He's busy, you know?" She said, wearing a haughty expression.

He scowled some more. "I don't have your number." Not that he would call. He doesn't really care.

"011-6783-2937." 

"What's that?"

"My phone number, in case you get worried again." She said. Her eyes on the church in front of them. He noticed how her face was no longer pale but was pinkish.

He raised an eyebrow but fished out his phone nevertheless. He was debating how he would ask her to repeat her number when she took his phone and before he could react, she entered her phone number on it. 

"Yah!" He was objecting to the liberties she was having with his phone because she took a photo of her smiling self with it.

"For your contacts." She said simply. He put his phone back in his pocket. He was back at staring at the church when he heard a camera flash.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked with a frown.

"For my contacts. In case you call me." She said.

"Cant you just get one from the net. I have break outs." He said. He was as vain as ever.

"You look great anyways." She said. He almost didn't catch it. She gave him a dazzling smile afterwards. He had to look away as he felt blood rushing up his face.

"Myanhae." He said after they sat there for a while.

"Ne."

"I am like Job, am I?"

"Similar."

Her answer hit him. The circumstances were different but similar. She was right. He now kew she specifically recited those passages to remind him.

"Komaho." He said. For making him realize things. For helping him when he felt so alone. For breaking his walls a little. 

When it was time to leave, she stood up when he did. She seemed to be wanting to tell him something. So he waited. An awkward silence fell between them. When he noticed how she was having a difficult time, he decided to leave. Thinking how she needs sometime to mull over what she had to say. She didn't stop him either. Like the past 2 weeks that he had waited for her, he looked back. This time he found her standing there still, her eyes hooded from what he could see. He waived at her. That seemed to have helped as she broke into another grin and waived back. For the first time after the accident, Daesung felt lighter.

That week, he was informed that a settlement had been reached, it brought him no joy. What does a settlement mean to him. It was just money. Money cant buy a life. It doesn't change things for him. He had a nightmare again that night. It was very strong, it left him reeling when he woke up. The dead accused him of killing him and paid for his life. He asked if he thinks money could buy him his freedom because the dead would never allow him to be free. That freedom comes with a price that money cant pay. It was a recurring dream again for the whole week.

When he woke up, he thought about how he needs to be punished. He was after all could have caused the death. Until the results of the investigation was released, he was still guilty. Ani, even if he was acquitted, the burden of the trauma would still have fallen in his shoulders.

Having spent the night awake, he found himself back in front of the church. He was confused on what to do. He should feel better now that the settlement had been settled. He had been hounded by calls by his friends. He didn't pick up again. He didn't want to hear them speak jovially about it. The sin is still there and wouldn't go away anytime soon.

"Anyeong."

He felt relief upon hearing her voice again. For some reason, he had likened her to novocaine. Something that numbs away the pain. What was wrong with him? Likening a girl to pain killers. He is fully aware how they could be addicting. He was in a somber mood and did not respond to her greeting.

She seemed to have noticed how agitated he was that day, that she was fidgeting so much. Rocking the bench a little. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Say it." He said. Wanting to bet it over and done with. He wanted to know if she hates him now that he had settled to pay for someone's life. If she found him detestable