A/N: Okay I'm sure everyone has seen that Jessica is writing a YA novel about a Korean-American teenager training to become the next kpop star (hmm, sounds familiar?). So I totally made this tweet as a spur of the moment thing but I bet nobody's surprised that I wrote something for it lmao.

“I’m surprised you agreed to this,” Jessica says, tapping her fingernails against the table.

Taeyeon shrugs. “I’m on a hiatus and have nothing better to do.”

“I’m flattered,” Jessica says dryly. “You always knew how to make a girl feel special.”

“Did I?” Taeyeon looks at her through her lashes in a way that still makes her breathing hitch all these years later. “Well, you were always a special case anyway.”

Her tone is somehow both dry and flippant. There’s no way of telling whether it’s a compliment or insult. Taeyeon had always been like that. Has. Jessica isn’t sure if she knows Taeyeon well enough to use the present tense.

Jessica clears and flips open the notebook she had brought. “So, Taeyeon ssi,” she says, aiming for briskly professional but landing somewhere closer to mocking.

“Jessica ssi,” Taeyeon returns in the same tone.

“What would you say are some challenges that you had to face as an idol?” Jessica tries to spin her pen around her fingers, but she just ends up dropping it. That’s always been Taeyeon’s skill, not hers.

Instead of answering, Taeyeon says, “Are you really going to take notes by hand? Is this the 20^th century?”

“Well, I’d rather record you but you wouldn’t give me permission so.”

“I’d rather there not be tangible evidence if I say something I regret,” Taeyeon says blithely.

“Oh, you’re already preparing for regrets?” Jessica says archly.

“Better to be prepared than not, don’t you think, Jessica ssi? You never know when something unexpected will happen.”

Jessica tries not to flinch. “What would you say are some challenges you had to face?” she repeats, uncapping her pen and poising it over her notepad, prepared to write. The truth is, she didn’t really think Taeyeon would agree to meet her, would show up at all, and she had forgotten to charge her laptop the previous night and didn’t bother to lug a dead weight around. She has her phone and her iPad and could be taking notes electronically, but.

The physical weight of the pen and paper give her a sense of security. She can’t explain it, but she likes having the slim body of the pen in her clammy hand, the cap to flick against her restless fingers, the paper to smooth under her uneasy palms. She likes having something to hold, to fiddle with. Maybe she just wants something to hide behind.

She wonders how it is that she’s the one who arranged this meeting and she’s the one who’s asking Taeyeon questions, but she feels like the one being interrogated, stripped open, laid siege to.

Taeyeon has always had that effect on her. All that these years have done is to sharpen it, rather than dull it.

It almost shocks her when Taeyeon opens and speaks in a thoughtful, heavy voice. An honest voice.

“The industry is a place for fame, for success, but it’s not a place for happiness. For love.” Taeyeon meets her eyes evenly. “To get one thing, one has to give something else up, and then another, and then another. Eventually, you feel like you just give yourself up.”

Jessica feels like she can’t pull in her next breath. She hasn’t written down a single word, but she can’t bring herself to move her pen, can’t even bring herself to move her eyes away from Taeyeon’s. “And is it worth it, in the end?”

“Ah, why are we jumping to the heavy questions so quickly?” Taeyeon says in a forcibly light tone that Jessica is all too well-acquainted with. “What fun will this be if I give you everything you’re asking?”

When have you ever done that? Jessica wants to ask. They wouldn’t be sitting here if Taeyeon had given her even half of the things she had asked for, had dreamed of.

Jessica offers a tight smile. “You’re right. Maybe we’re moving too quickly. So, Taeyeon ssi, are the Inkigayo sandwiches really as good as you say?”

Taeyeon stares at her for a moment with something akin to disbelief, and then she bursts into laughter, still as full-bodied as ever. Some things never change, it seems.

“I’ll get you one next time if you want, and you can see for yourself.”

“Next time?” Jessica repeats, raising an eyebrow. “You’re saying you’d do this again?”

“Well.” Taeyeon shrugs. “It’s either this or stay at home frustrated over not being able to write my new song, so. There are worse things to do.”

“Why, I can’t see why songwriting may be a struggle for you, given your incredible way with words.”

Taeyeon grins, and Jessica knows it’s real because her chin dimple makes a rare appearance. “Do you think they’d give me some ice if I ordered it?”

“What, why do you want ice?” Jessica asks, confused. Taeyeon had ordered a hot drink. Does she want to cool it down quickly?

“I think I need something for that burn I just got.”

Jessica snorts, and has to bite back the startled burst of laughter that almost escaped . “Maybe you can get some milk, you big baby.”

“I actually wouldn’t mind some, this latte is really bitter.” Taeyeon takes her spoon and stirs it around her cup, messing up the foam art, and Jessica takes her moment of distraction to stare at her, intensely, unreservedly, the way she had forbidden herself from doing this whole time. Taeyeon and the dark roots growing in amidst her blonde hair and the dimple that had gone back into hiding and the sadness that perpetually lurks in the depths of her eyes and the corners of . Taeyeon, who Jessica had been unable to forget or let go of in all these years.

Who do you think you’re fooling? Tiffany had asked her. There’s no way this could be merely an interview.

Who is she trying to fool, she wonders. Taeyeon? Herself? Whoever it is, she doesn’t think it’s working.

Tiffany had followed up with, And why don’t you interview me? I’m a famous idol too!

Jessica had told her that her head was too big and she should deflate it before she has a chance for an interview.

“So?” Taeyeon asks expectantly, and Jessica blinks. “What other questions do you have for me?”

“I—” Jessica flips through her notebook, and she does, in fact, have some notes written, some generic questions she had prepared for potential interview targets, hypothetical people, not the woman sitting in front of her who makes her feel eighteen years old all over again. “Other questions. Right. Hang on a minute.”

“Take your time,” Taeyeon says. “I’ll be…here.”

There’s a part of Jessica that’s still in disbelief that she is. Here. Right in front of Jessica. Of course, just because the physical distance between them has narrowed doesn’t mean anything, doesn’t mean that Taeyeon is close to her, but she’s closer than she has been in years. She’s not just the idol smiling or smouldering at Jessica from a screen or poster or billboard, she’s—Taeyeon and she’s looking at Jessica in a way that can almost be called warm.

Jessica fumbles for her pen and summons her best smile. It’s now or never.

A/N: I hope nobody is expecting me to turn this into a multi-chaptered fic because I think you've seen what happens to my multi-chaptered fics LOL.