When my friends ask me "why the hell are you so in love with him?" I would immediately answer "its his smile"

I know people assume that loving someone needs no rhyme nor reason but, i have a reason, and its his smile.

I can understand why my friends would ask me that, its been 10 years and Im still so in love with lee taemin. My bestfriend since i dunno when slash lover for 7 years. Our relationship isnt perfect. No, not at all, and this fact is proven this very moment.

Here we are arguing about something petty for the nth time this week. He is screaming his head off and Im rubbing my temples in an attempt to calm myself.

Looking at him you wouldn't think he's the type to be so hysterical. His soft and beautiful features lets other people assume that he's somekind of a fairy or an angel that had fallen from the heavens because of his sinful beauty, but thats when its best to remember that looks can be decieving.

Right now the cruel words and curses he's throwing right at my face isnt so angelic. And during moments like these I ask myself the same question my friends keep asking me, "Why the hell am I so in love with this hysterical ?" Right now I have no answer for that.

All of a sudden there were tears in his eyes. Honestly, after years of knowing each other I have never been a reason for his tears, happy nor sad. Taemin is not known for being a crybaby, although most would treat him like one, he doesnt act like one. So as I am baffled by this situation I realize why the hell this is actually happening. Due to my stupid impulsive mouth, I Kim Jongin, spouted the most idiotic thought that anger had ever instilled in my brain. " Then why the hell shouldnt we just ing break up?" It was all but a whisper through all his incessant screaming but the words were too audible that he instantly went silent. These vile words came from this same mouth that spoke words of love and promises to him. 

He's right in front of me, crying, looking so sad and fragile while glaring at me with his tear stained eyes. He tries to wipe his tears away with the back of his hands, desperate to seem strong but tears continue to flow. At this moment I dont feel love, I feel hatred. So much hate at myself. I have always sworn to rip the heads off of those who take away his smile. His smile that is like the sun. During the day, it rises continuously until it sets at night and the moonlight takes its turn in reflecting its beauty. 

So now Im in a dilemma. How do I possibly rip my own head off? I sigh and think