Letters and Poems (That He Received)

**Song**

The other members think I've changed. They told me I need to smile, but how can I? They tell me to focus solely on dancing and singing, but how can I? How am I suppose to do anything, now?

Kim MinYoung was my bestfriend. I've known her since we were six years old. Our parents would even joke about us growing up, and falling in love. My mom already had plans made for our wedding, which made me laugh, when she talked about it. Who would have knwon she was right? I did love MinYoung.

It was a little over eight months ago that she passed away. For weeks before she left, she was in pain. Up until the end she never stopped smiling and laughing. As the days grew closer, she started refusing to let me see her. Her mom swore to me that I'd be able to see her, before she died. But that day, never happened for me.

I remember the day I got pulled from practice, because my mom called the manager. MinYoung had died that morning. I never even got a chance to say goodbye properly, before the funeral. She looked so peacful, laying in her coffin. She wore a light blue dress, and sandels. Her hair was pinned back, and her cheeks were brushed with blush.

She looked like she was sleeping. Sitting in the pews of the church, I expected for her to pop up, and yell surprise. When it finally hit me that it wasn't a joke, my heart shattered.

It was a few days later, when her mom gave me a small package. Inside was a single book, that had a pink ribbon around it. On the cover, my name was etched in the leather. I pried the book open, curious about who would send me a book, knowing I hate to read. On the inside cover MinYoung's name was etched in a heart. There was even a dedication page.

'To my best friend, Yoo Chang Hyun. Who has helped me through life, shown me love, and will remain with me forever.' I realized she sent me a book full of poetry and doodles. On the first page was a poem entitled "I'll wait for you". I sat on my bed and looked the page over. In the margins there was a doodle of me, with a big head.

I will wait for you...
Though we never get a chance to say goodbye,
Remember me...
When winter snows are falling through a quiet sky
I'll remember you
When, in our darkest hour,
You held my hand and prayed I wouldn't go,
But a silent voice called out to me;
My time had come, and I had to travel Home...

Since then, I know your life has never been the same,
For I visit you each day
So many times I've felt your pain
I've watched you cry
And I've heard you call my name...

But now, further along life's road I stand
In a timeless world, just beyond your sight,
Waiting for the day when I can take your hand and bring you across
to this land of Golden Light...

Till then, remember me, you understand-and try not to cry.
But if you do
Let your tears fall
For the happiness and joy we knew,
And for the special love we shared,
For love can never die.

Tears stung my eyes, and I fruitlessly wiped them away. I turned through the pages, reading line after line, some making me laugh. Others just made me want to curl in a ball and sob my heart out.

Release me, let me go.

I have so Many things to see and do.

You mustn't tie your self to me with tears,

Be happy that we had so many years.

I gave you my love and you can only guess,

How much you gave me in happiness.

I thank you for the love you each have shown,

Buth now it's time I traveled on alone.

So grieve awhile for me, if grieve you must

then let your grief be comforted by trust.

It's only for awhile that we must part

So bless the memories whit’in your heart.

I won’t be far away, for life goes on,

So, if you need me, call and I will come.

Though you can't see or touch me, I'll be near,

and if you listen with your heart,

you'll hear all my love around you soft and clear.

And then, when you must come this way alone,

I'll greet you with a smile and say, welcome home.

So now everyday, I read from the book. No one disturbs me or asks me to put it away. My member understand, and support me when I'm down. When I feel like crying, I hg the book tightly and let the tears stain the leather backing. I take it with me everywhere I go, and never leave it at home. It's what keeps me close to her.

One day, as I was sitting in the practice room, I opened the book. The fan in the room blowing cold air at my face, made me relax more. I dropped the book, and gasped as it hit the dirty floor. I picked it up and dusted it off. There was an evelope on the floor, by my feet. Guess it fell from the book, when I so wrongly dropped it.

I picked it up and opened it. The fan's breeze took the paper from my hands and blew it to the other side of the room. I ran after it, putting the book on the bench. "Here." MinSoo hyung caught it and handed it back to me.

I sat back on the bench, looking at the crumply piece of paper. It was a letter, two-sided. A big signature at the bottom caught my attention.

Dear ChangHyun,

Ricky-ah~ Are you being a good kid? You better be.

I miss you. I know you may not understand why I banished you from visiting me. I did it for both our sakes. I was dying. As my best friend I didn't think you deserved to have that image burned to memory. I wanted you to only remember as you knew me, before I became ill.

I don't know when your reading this, or how long we've been seperated. The days turn to minutes when your in my condition. I don't want you to be too sad for me. I'm probably in a better place.

It was a great honor to be your friend. I know when I'm gone, I won't be easily replaced in your heart. But at least try for me. Even though I am dying, I am not leaving. My life is coming to a close, and quickly. But your life is just beginning and moving forward. I wish all your hopes and dreams to come true. I have to make a dying confession. Something, I was never able to do in person.

I love you. It's funny how three little words, can be so hard to say. Ricky-ah, I've loved you since we were in middle school. When we got closer, I was so happy. It made my day to always see your smiling face and hear your charming laugh. The late night study sessions, the movies, and the walks through the park. That's what I want you to remember. Remember the good, none of the bad. If you always dwell on my death, your life will dwindle away. You have to live for me.

Live each day, as I would. Be happy and polite. Smile at everyone, even if it feels like you can't smile. Tell your family you love them all the time, before you loose your chance. Help anyone and everyone. Feed my fish, and take care of them. Visit friends as much as possible. Give charity and in return recieve respect. Love the mornings and hug the nights. Never stay down, and boost yoursef up. Go to school when you can, and get into a good college. and tell our mom I love her also.

I think it's about time for me to go. I can feel my eyes trying to close. But I needed to get this written. I still don't know if you will ever see this. I hid it for my mom to give you. Did you like the book? Keep it safe and protect the words inside. Let my words keep you grounded and happy. Know that I am in no pain, and am not suffering.

I love you as more than a friend. I'll love you to my last breath. I'll love you for eternity in Heaven. I will wait, for the day, you come strolling through those gates. I miss you already.

Love, Kim MinYoung (Minnie)

"Ricky, you okay?" Niel sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. I stared blankly at the piece of paper. My eyes were focused on the words 'I love you'. I lowered my head and held the paper to my chest. What started as soft sobs, turned into loud cries of pain. "Sh-she," i tried but my voice cracked. No one said anything. We just sat there.

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Later that night I came up with a plan. I was going to write MinYoung a letter. And bring it to her grave, when I visit it tomorrow.

Dear Minnie,

Yes I've been a good boy. I understand why I was kept away from you. I couldn't handle seeing you all broken, and you knew that. You always did know me best.

My dreams have come true. I know you'd be proud if you could see me now. I didn't get to kiss you goobye. You slipped right through my fingers, and I couldn't stop it. I didn't know what i was suppose to do for you. I guess all I needed to do was be there for you. And I'll always be there for you.

I try not to dwell. But its so hard to do, when I can't forget you. Why would I want to forget you, anyways? You were the best person I've ever met. You always cared for me. You showed me what it was like not to be lonely. You taught me to smile like I mean it, and talk about my feelings. And my mom loved you too.

I love you. I always did. I guess we were both too scared to make a move. Your letter really helped me believe that life didn't totally . From today on I will live for both of us. I will do what you asked. I will laugh and smile. I'll make sure my friends and family know how much they mean to me. And I hope you know hos much you meant to me. The book means alot for me. I have kept it in new condition and will protect it always. The poems were beautiful, as were you, even after death.

I really hope to see you one day. Then we can pick up where we left off. I bet your even more beautiful now. And I thought that would never be possible. It's time for me to go, but I might write letters more often. Even though you can't feel them or touch them, I know your reading them.

Love, ChangHyun (Ricky)

I stuck the folded note in a paper baggie and sealed it up. I sat it on my nighttable and turned off the small lamp. The dark comforted me as I started crying again and curled against the wall. My hand went under my pillow, where I could feel the poetry book. I squeezed my eyes shut and cried myself to sleep. Thinking about how pretty MinYoung must be with wings. Because she was an angel on Earth, she should be one in Heaven.

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"I'll Wait For You"- Stephen O'Brien

"When I'm Gone"-Mary Alice Ramish

Disclaimer: I own the storyline. Sadly I do not own Teen Top or the poems. Please give credit to the owners and original writers, as they worked hard for recognition. Do not plagarize. Please support me and my sad one-shot, inspired from something I daydreamed about.