The snow crunch under his feet as he makes his way towards the small white church that blended splendidly and lovingly with the snow. It has been an early winter and there's already a half foot of snow on the cold ground. Jinki was wrapped up snugly in a thick downed black coat complete with a blue scarf, snow boots and leather gloves.

In one hand he carries a black plastic bag filled with soju and various snacks. In the other hand he held a bunch of giant blue hydrangeas. He make his way through the great front door into the white chapel.

He walks to the second row and sat down to pray. He closes his eyes but no prayers came.

*****

"Hyung! Let's pray here first before continuing." Minho says as he sat down on the second row of the long benches in the small chapel. Before Jinki even got to the row, he was already in deep silent prayers. Jinki takes a moment to appreciate how beautiful Minho is when he's so serious and deep in thought. The wrinkles on Minho's forehead creased and his eyebrows arched close together. This made him smile and he has to suppress the sudden strong urge to kiss Minho's forehead before he too sat down to pray.

It has been three months since they had come clean with their feelings. Minho has gotten another ankle injury from filming for Dream Team and Jinki was recovering from a shoulder injury. The two hasn't been able to talk or see other much because of their busy schedule for years even though they are basically the only two still living in the dorm. Their injuries caused them to be stuck together for a week. 

On their second day, while pretending to sleep on the couch, Minho hears Jinki tell him that he is lovely and that he missed him as the leader puts a blanket tenderly over him. 

On the third day, while helping Jinki scrub his back in the shower, Minho asked him, "Hyung. When you put that blanket over me, you say I was very lovely. What did you mean?"

Embarrassed and cursing himself under his breath, he replied, "you just looked lovely while you sleep. But you all do.." Trying to pass it up as something normal. The last thing he wanted was for Minho to know that he harbors a strong love for him for so many years now.

"Is that really all that was to it." He stop scrubbing Jinki's back and turns him around to face him. "I know this feels weird, especially since we're in the shower and all, but I felt something different when you said those words to me. Was it just a passing remark you made? Is it really just that? Hyung I missed you t.."

His words were cut off as Jinki springs a kiss on him. First just a peck to test it. Then when Minho didn't push him away, he grab the younger man and pushed him against the cold shower wall and kiss him harder, hungrily, with passion. Minho return the kiss fiercely and soon they were entangled limbs and lost in lust.

Jinki smiles as he remembers that faithful night that started their crazy but beautiful love. Yes it's crazy for two men to love one another, but love isn't bias. And he had secretly loved Minho before their debut as SHINee but since he has to promote an image as a perfect idol for the public, he pushed those feelings back. But now, Minho also shared his feelings and while their love is hidden from the public scrutinizing eyes, the happiness they are able to give eachother makes up for all the lost time. He pray for their love to be strong and thank the heavens for letting him love someone like Choi Minho and for being blessed enough to be love in return. Then he asks for forgiveness that he's going against nature and for the heavens to grant their unconventional love.

Minho stares at his lover as Jinki prays, having already finished. When Jinki opened his eyes and turned to give Minho one of those breathtaking smile that he often gives, Minho grab his hand and lead him out through the back of the small church and through a gate into a small cemetery. 

"Hyung, when we died in our old age, let's ask to be bury here together. I know our love is a sin but I really love this place and how small and quiet it is. It is different from how hectic and loud our idol life has been. Look at that dogwood tree, it's starting to blossom, it would be nice to be buried somewhere like that, under the cool shade of a beautiful tree with a beautiful person."

Jinki had never thought of death and where he would want to be buried, but he thought Minho's idea was quite lovely. He tugs on Minho's hand and they walk towards that tree. There, they carved their names together and promised that this will be where they will rest and meet one another in another life. They sealed the promise with a tender kiss.

*****

"Minho ah.. You ing jerk. Are you happy where you are? Do you even remember me?" Jinki thought silently as he stares at the cross with Jesus at the center of the chapel. 

Tears start to betray him as they streams down his still frozen face. He wipes them away hastily. "I'm not crying because of you. You don't deserve my tears. I'm only crying because the wind was in my eyes." But the tears didn't stop pouring. He sat and cry silently for a while with his head bow. He whispers into the empty church, "Was it so wrong? To love him? Was it so inconceivable that we couldn't be together. Even for just a little longer." He accuses the cross angrily.

"I missed you. So much."

*****

"You cannot love another man! Are you insane?! Do you know what this means to your reputation? And what about your father's position? No. Just no Minho! Break it off and get your mind straight right now."

"Omma! I love him. I only love him and I'm not going to leave him. We love eachother. Shouldn't that be enough?" Minho screams back at his mother with tears threatening to escape. He expect some sort of disagreement from his parents when they find out, but not this strong of an unaccepting reaction. He brought Jinki over for dinner with the intention of telling his parents because he at least wanted them to understand him since he hates having secrets from them. But his mother walked in on him and Jinki kissing in his room before he could tell them, and well, Jinki was asked to leave while his parents demands to know what's going on.

"My son, Minho ah. I understand you might think this is love. But you are still too young to understand love. This is a sin! This is NOT something we can accept. Get your mind together and we can all pretend this never.."

"No! I'm not just thinking crazy and I know I love him! I can't leave him I would rather die.."

She slapped him hard. Once. Then realizing what she just did, staring at him in disbelief and with eyes wide, she said, "My son.."

The tears finally escape Minho's eyes. It stream down his cheeks burning hot and adding to the sting of the slap. He grabs his keys and jacket and walk out before his mom can say anything else.

Jinki was outside listening the whole time nervously, biting his lips. When Minho storms out of the house, Jinki saw the tear streaks on his redden face. Minho grab his hand and led him to the car. As they drove out of the driveway his mother comes out and yells, "Minho!"

Minho didn't let go of Jinki's hand once during the ride back to Seoul. But tears continues pouring down for a while. They sat in silence and Jinki feel nervous and awful. This was all his fault. His fault for loving Minho and causing this foreseen conflict in his lover's family. Minho is, or at least was, very close to his family.

"I'm sorry." Jinki says quietly after a long silence. The guilt eating him up inside.

Minho brings Jinki's hand that he'd been holding to his lips. "Hyung, don't apologize. It's not your fault people can't be understanding. But this is expected. Not everyone will understand our love."

"But.."

"Stop it Jinki. It'll be okay. All I need and know is my love for you." Minho says as he kiss Jinki's hand again. But Jinki can still feel the hurt Minho is keeping inside. He leans over and kiss Minho's cheek. "I love you Minho."

Minho smile and squeezes the older man's hand harder in his, said, "I know Hyung. I love you too. Forever." 

*****

Jinki makes his way outside. Back into the cold and the snow covered ground. He pushes the gate to the cemetery opens and walk through to the leafless dogwood tree covered in snow. He bends over and looked carefully while brushing some snow off the trunk until he finds their names. He lay down the flowers Then he sat down upon the snow next to the names.

He opens the black bag and takes out the soju and said, "Minho ah, do you remember our promise? " he takes a shot of soju. 

"I'm here like I promised." He drinks a shot.

"I still remember you and love you like I'd promised." He drinks another shot. 

"Our names are still here." And another shot.

"Where are you? Why are you not here? Why did you leave?" He pours the next shot at the tree. Then he takes out the various snacks. "Remember this? Your favorite Choco pie. Your favorite chips. Your favorite candy! I still remember it all!" At this point he's yelling at the tree. At the name "Choi Minho" etched onto the tree. 

*****

"Yah! Let's go home now. You're drunk Hyung." Minho says as he attempts to lift Jinki up.

"Minnnhoo.. It's Minho ah. You're so pretty. My Minho." Jinki says slurring his words with a smile on his face. "Everyone, I love Minho! I ing love him! He belongs with me."

"Hyung! Cmon Hyung. Let's go." Minho grab him under his arm and walks out of the bar. He sat him down on a bench when Jinki starts heaving. "Hyung drink some water." 

The air and the water was starting to bring Jinki back to reality. He looked up at a concerned Minho. 

"Minho ah.. Minho ah." He says quietly. 

"Yes Hyung I'm here." Minho told him while tenderly rubbing him on the back. Jinki leans his head into the nape of Minho's neck. He takes in Minho's scent and closes his eyes.

"Why did you drink so much?"

"Minho.. I think we should break up." Silence follows.

"What was that? What are you talking about Hyung?"

Jinki lifts his head off Minho and said, "Us, it's hurting too many. It's hurting us too. I don't want to hurt you anymore. So let's break up."

"Why the breakup all of a sudden Hyung? We promised.."

"I know! I know it all damn it but I can't. These past couple of months had been like the best dream I can't even begin to wish for. Loving you, and us and all the things we shared and just everything. Was all so perfect. But as we start to open up, no one can accept it. No one can accept us. I see you walking around with your head down and that lost look in your eyes, how can I ignore it?" Jinki says as he covers his face in his hands. Tears threatening to betray the liquor courage he was pretending to have to send Minho away.

"No Hyung." Minho got up and lift his head up, cupping his face in Minho's hands instead. "This is just a phase. People will get over it. We can get beyond it. Together. Lee Jinki and Choi Minho. I'm not letting you go." He kissed Jinki calmly and tenderly. "I love you Lee Jinki." He whispers.

Jinki stares into the big watery depth of Minho's eyes and see the honesty of Minho's love. Feeling worst, he cries. "Maybe I'm the one not strong enough. Maybe I don't love you the same. I'm sorry Minho." He pushed Minho away and ran. Then he hears a horn and turns to see a bright light coming fast towards him. 

"Hyung!" Came Minho's voice. Then he felt himself grabbed by strong arms and envelop in a warm embrace, and turned away from the oncoming car before he heard the loud crashes, saw the world spinning, and felt the blinding pain.

He was lying on the ground on his stomach and somewhere he can feel warm liquid pouring out of him. But all he can see is the figure lying not too far from him. Laying on his back but Also looking at him with one hand stretching out to him. Then he saw a small smile on that lovely bleeding face before those big watery eyes closes. One tear escaping before they closed completely.

"No! No no no! Minho! Minho!!" He try's crawling to him but his body was not obeying him. Tears pouring down his face as he see the dark blood seeping from Minho's broken body. He reached out his hand to touch Minho's already cold outstretched hand before he too closes his eyes. 

*****

"It was my fault. All my stupid fault. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

*****

"Hyung? Hyung! Kibum Hyung, Jonghyun hyung! I think he's waking up." Screams Taemin.

The others rushed over. Jinki can make out the three faces peering at him with concerned. But there was one face missing. Who's missing from this bunch?

"Oh Hyung!" Cries Taemin as he gently lay over him to hug him. He sees the other two crying also. 

"Minho.." Jinki begins to say, "where's Minho?"

He feels Taemin body shaking as he sobs harder still lying on top of him. Jonghyun turns his back and his shoulder are shaking too. Thick teardrops pouring from Kibum's face.

Fear envelops Jinki and his chest tightens. He repeats firmly, "Where's Minho?!" Dread feeling his whole body and seeping into his very soul. Then images flashes in his mind. Loud crashes and bright lights and a body and blood and eyes, those big eyes closing.

"No!" He suddenly screams. "Where is he? Where's Minho? Minho!!!" Thick hot tears rolling down the sides of his face. He tries to get up and Jonghyun helps Taemin holds him down while Kibum collapse to his knee unable to stand anymore.

"Let me go! I need to go to Minho. He's hurt. He needs me." Jinki cries.

"Hyung! He's gone. Minho is gone. He can't come back Hyung!" Cries Jonghyun. 

"No. No no no no no. No. Let me go."

"He died Jinki. They already held his service and buried him. You had been unconscious for a week Hyung." Jonghyun continues. "You need to get better then I'll take you to him. But you must get better. Please Hyung stop fighting us."

A nurse had come in and injected something into his IV line.

"No." Jinki said still trying to get up, before darkness overcome him once more. He hears Taemin voice calling out to him before he drifts into bliss darkness. Feeling nothing, knowing nothing.

*****

Jinki was in the hospital for a month. He had broken an arm, fractured his left knee, and sprained his neck from the impact. The driver of the car had a broken nose and fractured jaw. Minho had died shortly after the impact that fractured his spine and his ribs, which fractured and pierced his lungs. The detective said witnesses said Minho rushed out and turned Jinki away and got the full brunt of the hit.

Jinki was in rehab for the next three months and underwent strict psychological rehab because he kept trying to commit suicide. Jonghyun, Kibum, and Taemin eventually took him to see Minho's grave which upsets him because it was not where Minho had wished to be buried. He never returned to that grave.

*****

They had fallen in love in January. Minho passed away in August. Eight months. They only had eight short months. And 

Jinki lay down against the tree in the snow. He was feeling warm from drinking most of the soju. 

"Minho. It's December. Remember we were suppose to go somewhere warm and secluded for our birthdays this year. Today is your birthday but I'm here lying on this cold tree where I can still feel you the strongest. Happy Birthday Minho ah. I love you. Forever." With that, he close his eyes. One tear escapes.

"Hyung.. You remember. You remember our promised."

"Minho? Where are you? Minho ah?

"I'm here. I had always been here Hyung."

"I missed you. God Minho I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you so much."

"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault we love eachother. But Hyung, Please live happily for Us. Please live. I love you Lee Jinki. Forever."

"Hyung!" Screams Taemin as the rest of SHINee ran to him. They grab their leader and helped him inside the Chapel. Jinki open his eyes. He smiles as tears fell, "Minho. He's here. Minho ah.." 

Then he hugs the other three as all four cries together. For eachother and for Minho.