Hayi’s lips seemed dry - this could be seen by the gentle yet awfully white portion of skin that seemed to rip the pink of her lips. She was nervous, Suhyun could sense it, after all, it was her best friend who stood right in front of the mirror, staring at herself lifelessly.

‘’Chanhyuk oppa, give us a second’’ his sister’s voice asked as the male stood inside her room for some odd reason - Hayi had slept over yet again and for some reason, he never really found the way to his own room when the female was nearby. They could come up with a thousand excuses for this but there would be a thousand more waiting to slap those back to reality. Chanhyuk had already faced the fact his sister’s best friend was just not a best friend to him. All the time he devoted to her had turned into more than just the love he could provide a friend. He could feel his heart beat fast, nearly approaching his throat to the point he felt he could throw up whatever an empty stomach contained. Upon hearing his little sister’s request, he released a quiet chuckle, yet again feeling left out of Hayi’s life but agreeing to it.

Suhyun gently pushed him out of the room, so the privacy she wanted would remain indoors instead of allowing it to be over Chanhyuk’s ears. That however, didn’t stop him from standing outside like a lost puppy as the door closed right before his eyes. It was almost like a routine Suhyun wished she could break by now. She didn’t say anything, instead, her right hand was placed over her friend’s shoulder, caressing it gently over the thin layer of clothing she used as a blouse. It was maybe the only way she found to let her best friend know she was by her side through thick and thin.

‘’We’re going to be late.’’ she finally spoke, not louder than a simple whisper as her eyes carefully scanned the features she could see through the mirror. It was almost like the body that stood before hers belonged to her best friend but the soul had been away from her body. She couldn’t say she recognized the person she called best friend anymore but that didn’t mean she would stop trying bringing her back. Chanhyuk wouldn’t either. With her comment, Hayi’s eyes ripped off the mirror she had been staring at for so long. She beated Suhyun on getting her backpack and sliding it over her shoulder.

Both walked towards the door where Chanhyuk was left. Hayi showed a gentle smile to him as if thanking him for all he had done for her, along with Suhyun but the smile also gave away the fact it wasn’t enough. She wasn’t asking for anything anyways because if she did, they wouldn’t be able to keep up with her and at some point, she just didn’t want to lose them. Suhyun chuckled at the way Hayi reached for Chanhyuk’s head and high fived his forehead. It was her way of saying everything was okay. Or at least they thought so. As an answer, the male whined and punched her shoulder gently. They were a weird duo that shared the exact same classroom.

‘’Eonnie, I heard about the upcoming project, apparently first years will be received with so much love’’ Suhyun never failed to bring some words for Hayi and Chanhyuk to chew on while they made their way to school. She was almost like the media, whatever there was for her to know, she would know. Even if she wasn’t supposed to know, she would simply find a way to know about it. It was almost like she was a detective, a very efficient one. However, the three shared a quiet laugh as the cold winter weather wrapped around their bodies, creating a small cloud whenever they exhaled warm air from their lungs out their lips or nose. The thought of what Suhyun had just said made her even shake her head slowly as she knew it was a failure right from the beginning judging from the previous year where they also wanted to warmly welcome the first year students who were new to the school grounds. It was all up to the seniors and with all they had in hands, first year would be the last of their worries.

Hayi seemed interested in her best friend’s talk, to the point she lift her head to see her. She was curious about the events that would take place in their school as she was almost a senior and she had no information about it or what so ever. On the other hand, Suhyun hugged the books she decided to carry in her arms, tightly to her chest. ‘’Well, thank you for noticing that I am here as well.’’ Chanhyuk called out, being more irritated by the fact his nose was freezing rather than the fact his sister and her best friend were sharing a nice conversation Hayi was actually paying attention to.

At the thought of Hayi, Suhyun lost her capability of paying attention to the classes the teachers worked hard to teach. Not even the fact the whole class laughed at that typical jokester that always lived in between the students. She used to laugh at those jokes but her brain was distracted with something else, rather with someone, that being Lee Hi who made her best friend’s brain full. Her eyes flew across the room as the logarithmic equations that slept over the black board seemed uninteresting even if they stood out by being written harshly in white that killed the chalk slowly, making it drop dust onto the floor as it was used. On the other hand, the outside looked compromising. The way the sun brightened the cold winter day made her smile even if she didn’t even understand the reason why she was smiling. Her best friend was facing depression, her breakdowns being scary to Suhyun who was just lost in the sea of bitterness Hayi insisted to swim through.

Outside, a small group of boys, all dressed with the same uniform was spotted by the female’s eyes. This was the moment she thanked herself for sitting by the window as she could appreciate the moment of freedom through them. By the uniform they used, she could tell they attended to the same school she did, either from the third or fourth year. The group was playing basketball, something she used to play with her brother before Hayi clumsily hit her bottom on the floor over one of Chanhyuk’s dangerous moves. In process, she managed to twist her ankle and the trio simply gave up on the idea of even signing up as a team for the basketball competition the school held that year.

The freedom she tasted from this moment she shared with those guys (without their knowledge) made her want more. She wanted to taste it for herself rather than having them waving it towards her. This said, the female lift her hand in the air, watching the teacher’s eyes land on her. ‘’I’m not feeling well, can I step outside?’’ her gentle voice asked, earning an okay sign from the teacher who didn’t seem to mind the slightest. The discomfort she felt for lying soon was wiped away from her head as she stood up and walked out the room. The outside was getting closer and closer, making a gentle smile crawl over to her lips. She wanted to get to the field to manage to find herself some freedom. However, once she arrived the field, the people whose freedom she craved for, were gone.

The round table the trio sat in was empty yet, at the same time full. Chanhyuk had bought the two females lunch but none of them dared to even glance at the food. The silence threw up emptiness into Suhyun’s heart, making her wonder if the phase her best friend was going through would ever come to an end. Lee Hi’s life that resembled a roller coaster went downhill after her father was arrested. Her mind seemed absent every moment, her eyes carried loneliness and she barely spoke it was punishment for her friends. She used to be so cheerful, so funny and make people around her get comfortable in a matter of minutes that it confused Suhyun - where did that all go? It only made the awkwardness and feeling of loss grow between the three friends.

Chanhyuk looked at Hayi through his glasses, sighing for the nth time that day. The three of them were basically siblings. ‘’Hi-yah.’’ his voice whispered in a gentle tone Suhyun didn’t seem to know her brother owned. It got her attention. The male pushed his finger against Hayi’s shoulder when he knew perfectly well she hated it when people poked her but she didn’t seem bothered by the action, it was like she wasn’t there. Her body was pushed away just to return to the previous position once his finger wasn’t any longer in contact with her arm. She was like a doll. ‘’Hi-yah…’’ he tried again but just like the previous attempt, this one had no positive answer from her. The male looked away sadly, giving up just to rest his head on the table.

‘’We’re here for you, stop being so selfish and collaborate with us a little, at least. Push the world away and let them kneel down before your smile, if you will. But don’t push us away.’’ Chanhyuk’s voice suddenly harshly interrupted the silence they have been working hard to keep. Suhyun was surprised with her brother’s words and even though she wanted to stop them, she also wanted to hear her out as she thought she hadn’t considered his feelings..yet. ‘’Hi-yah, I’m tired of picking up the ashes when that’s impossible to, I’m tired of trying to stick them together just to watch them fall apart again.’’ the usage of the caring nickname the siblings came up with for their friend didn’t make her speech come off less harshly. Suhyun’s thoughts lived in Chanhyuk’s words.

The elder female getting up made both the siblings feel nervous. Hearing her voice was like a miracle for them since she would rather keep her lips pressed into a tight straight line. If she spoke, it’d be a ‘Yes’ or a ‘No’ and that would happen when she got mad of having their words flying around her brain, jumping over her understanding. It just made no sense.

Her words came as harsh as the bomb Chanhyuk dropped. ‘’Don’t pick those ashes up then. Let them be where they are, there’s no need to waste any time’’ she calmly spoke before pushing the chair back onto its rightful place since she was leaving ‘’There’s no need to run after someone who doesn’t want to be followed just like there’s no reason to bring yourself to the limit for someone who’s not worth it. You’ll be the only one hurting in the end.’’ her cold tone made the male regret the words he spoke. He bit his lip, watching her leave as quietly as she arrived. It was scary. Suhyun’s eyes watered at the thought of losing her, especially at the way she left. She was tired, psychologically and physically.

‘’Mini Lee.’’ a voice called out, softly. Suhyun turned her head to find Kim Jinhwan; he was Hayi’s class president - she could recognize his voice even if she didn’t look up. ‘’What’s wrong with Maxi Lee?’’ he asked, sitting by the chair Hayi had sat on previously, as if he owned the place. Chanhyuk raised an eyebrow at how comfortably Jinhwan spoke to his sister, making him wonder what was going on. ‘’She’s having a bad day.’’ Suhyun commented, shrugging her shoulders as she didn’t feel like speaking - her voice cracked over her own words. Jinhwan only nodded his head slowly, knowing that there was certainly something he could at least try ‘’Bring her to the gym today, there will be no math class’’ she hated how the male knew her schedule. She didn’t want to argue, therefore, she just agreed to his proposal, nodding her head slowly.

His hand landed on top of her head as he got up - he was finally leaving, even if he didn’t stay for long, for Suhyun, it was torture to have him around. They were friends, but he was a bit too nosy. His nose was always stuck into everyone else’s lives but his own. ‘’Chanhyuk, I’m tired.’’ she whispered quietly, running her fingers through her hair as she suddenly started crying. He knew what she meant and the words he didn’t speak, were pooling inside him just like his sister’s tears on the table. ‘’I know’’ he simply commented, leaning in to rest his forehead on the female’s head. His glasses were pressed against her hair as he spoke the next words ‘’We can’t give up on her.’’ and he female knew he was right. They couldn’t simply abandon Hayi even if she made them go through hell. They loved her and the only way to let her see that, was sticking by her, no matter what.

‘’My thoughts are scary.’’ a well known voice spoke, coming from an empty room. Suhyun’s ears in that voice, trying to process who it belonged to. Her feet stopped once she stood in front of the piano room, with Hayi sitting by the instrument. It surprised Suhyun to see her fingers almost landing on the tiles since she stopped playing ever since her father was arrested. ‘’My mind’s so scary sometimes. Do I have to deal with this much longer?’’ she continued, to nobody in particular.  Her hand gently rest over the tiles, finally but the strength she put on it wasn’t enough to play any kind of music. It was like she was caressing the keys, afraid they would break if her fingers actually pushed them down.

Hayi’s eyes lift until they met the wall. The wall was white, blank just like Suhyun’s mind. Her head rest against the door frame, closing her eyes as the keys were finally pressed strongly enough to play some kind of sounds that could be almost considered music. ‘’My heart is so full of emptiness… there is just no space for anything else.’’ her words hurt Suhyun’s chest. There was no space for her. A slight smile crossed Hayi’s lips but Suhyun’s eyes were closed, making her lose this rare moment of his best friend. Hayi seemed to be singing her heart out and it hurt Suhyun that she didn’t open up to her like this but she wanted to be understanding.

The glass that parted the two females was touched by Suhyun’s hand. They were so close, yet, so far at the same time. At a sudden noise, Suhyun’s eyes were open as her brain was curious about why the door was being open. Hayi’s attention was also on the door; her fingers rest heavily on the keys as she stopped playing the melody she didn’t know. A slim guy came in, stopping by Hayi. His fingers landed on the tiles. None of them dared to speak. Suhyun, on the other hand, nearly screamed as she felt a breath hit her neck - someone was behind her and as she turned around, the face didn’t match any of the names she had in mind.

Her eyes were glued on him like his features were addicting and she no longer had interest over what was going on inside the room. His sharp features scored only on the charming point that was available. ‘’My name is Jiwon. Friends call me Bobby.’’ his friendly voice invited her into his life, making her feel taken aback by this. The soft smile displayed over his lips and the hand held out to her only made her feel like she was being into a new chapter of her life when this one wasn’t even over. It was almost promising. She stared at his hand for a while before eventually taking it into hers, shaking it. ‘’Suhyun.’’

‘’I know who you are.’’ Suhyun raised an eyebrow at what the male just told her. She smiled slightly, nodding her head as she wasn’t sure of what she should say. It was creepy, at least. His hand was taken back to it’s place, whilst Suhyun’s eyes ran over his chest, jaw, chin, lips, nose and finally landing on his eyes. ‘’I can take care of your problem.’’ he commented, letting her know that he knew more than he should. The female raised an eyebrow at his comment. How could he know what was wrong when she wasn’t even sure about it? ‘’I certainly can’’ he continued, interrupting her thoughts like the answer to her problem was that easy. ‘’I can bring your life back to normal. I can bring her back to what she was.’’ he calmly finished, smiling yet again so charmley to the female who snorted. However, the proposal was interesting.

Whatever he had in mind made her bit her tongue. He would want something back, wouldn’t he? She didn’t have anything to lose at this point - her life couldn’t get messier than it already was therefore, she shrugged. If Hayi was back, she would be just thankful. ‘’What will I have to do for you?’’ she wanted the terms and conditions for his sudden charity act that probably had some other intention glued to it. All she could lose was Hayi at this point when she didn’t have her since she was always distancing herself from Suhyun and Chanhyuk.

‘’Let me help you.’’ Jiwon told her nicely, asking nothing back - for now at least - Suhyun was desperate, it was even unfair how Jiwon could see it through her small eyes. Her eyes glared up at him, just what could he do in his first attempt and succeed when she had tried a hundred and one and failed them all? ‘’Let’s get it started, then.’’ after those words, she had understood she made the biggest mistake of her life. His smile erupted, scaring her for a slight second and before she could say anything, Jiwon invaded the room shared by two human beings.

Suhyun’s eyes watched how he walked up to her best friend who looked at him confused, together with the other guy. His feet reached up to her seat, kicking it just to get Hayi’s attention. Suhyun thought Hayi would just ignore it but something changed in her; her eyes. She stood up, glaring at the male who was obviously taller than she was ‘’That’s rude.’’ he managed to pull out some words of , surprising Suhyun who stood outside watching all the scene. The change in her made Suhyun feel scared and happy at the same time. Scared because she reacted to something and happy because she was speaking again.

Her heart nearly stopped the second Jiwon calmly leaned in and kissed her best friend. She was just not expecting such thing to happen. Suhyun frowned at the scene. Just who was he? Why wasn’t Hayi feeling bothered by it? She kissed him back! Her lips moved against his, her eyes closed - was she even the person who just gave up on living? Suhyun felt sick, shaking her head slowly before calmly walking back to where she came from.

‘’Suhyun, are you even listening to me?’’ Chanhyuk shouted, tired of having Suhyun’s eyes looking elsewhere when he was talking to her. He wanted her attention, that was the least he could ask for. He earned her attention but she shrugged her shoulders. ‘’Where’s Hayi, weren’t you supposed to bring her to the gym?’’ his question made Suhyun gasp quietly. She forgot. She forgot she was supposed to get her best friend to join her after everything that happened. Without hesitation, she walked back to the music room. Her heart hurt as she noticed her best friend was smiling beautifully like she never did before. How did a guy manage to make her smile like that when they didn’t even know each other?

‘’Hayi!’’ Suhyun called out, taken aback by the cold stare she received. She frowned at how easily Hayi smiled once again. Her hands let go of Jiwon’s waist as she made her way up to Suhyun but Suhyun was busy looking at Jiwon who was smiling at her like he had done something great. Hayi took her best friend’s hands but Suhyun was still looking at the male, disgusted by his smile. He was a playboy and she did regret allowing him to be part of Hayi’s life, yet another one for his collection. Just what did she get herself into?