Love
I have never eaten so much kaya toast in the span of 4 days until I met you.
Hi.
We've been around each other for a while now. And I think it's clear enough how much you mean to me. You see, i wanted this to be grand. And i've been scraping ideas after ideas because they're never good enough for you. They will never be good enough to you. Now now, i'm not belittling myself to you or any ideas of mine or any products i have made - I'm talented af and we both know that. But these thoughts, my thoughts about you, have made me realize that the effort i've been meaning to put into my projects will never be enough to impress you in a way I was expecting to. Because, frankly, those efforts will never match up the effort it took to keep us together. And a project so grand, why do I want it to be so big and impressive and very wow, when we still have so many months to come, so many tomorrows to spend with each other and so many nights together to talk. I thought of these thoughts after scrapping my last plan after working on it roughly a week.
Now, although in a nutshell, we can say that time is never on our side. Our schedules don't match up and I believe it'd be a rare occasion when it does, i'd still have hope for that rare occasion to come up. Just like the day you're gonna read this and think of days we still have. Time has never been on our side, but it's always been us against it. And we've been winning. Because any time I can catch even a glimpse of you, I know that i'll be good for a long while.
I think it's clear enough that I am a writer. My mind goes 100 to 1000 to 0 in a matter of minutes. It illustrates great things and be gone in a blink of an eye. It's one of the reasons I tackled graphic design and filming as a hobby instead of a job. And I think i've mention before that I has several projects just for today that got scrapped away (hey that rhymes!). That's because when I think of you, my mind just goes blank. It's just a motionless wave stuck in shades of black. Kinda like when you kiss someone. You remember that it was awesome but you can never picture it in your head. Or maybe that's just me. Idk tbh, my mind is weird.
And then there's you. I can easily voice my thoughts I have on any person you name, but when I come across yours in my head, i'm speechless. I think it's why I feel like I don't know and I don't know anything about you, but when i talk to you or when i think of the times i'm with you, the wires in my head connects and I can make a mind map of everything about you, just like that time you hurt your elbow, and- see, I can't think of anything else. This is really bad if you're a character in my fic. I can't draw up any plotlines or any future character development.
Now this is not much and I'm sorry for saying things that'd make you heighten your expectations but, this is as good as it's gonna get for a while. At least, until I can map out my thoughts of you. I don't have 2 am thoughts about you, you're in my mind all day. You never leave. That is fact. Just like how your world compliments my universe. Just like whenever I say that I love you, it's fact.
Happy one month, love. I hope we don't wither and I hope I won't feel guilty if you end up making me something really grand and the best thing I can think of and actually execute is this phone-written letter. But hey, i love you and you love me. And that's what matters right?
Comments