Chapter 9 – Tell Me Why

Year 2: Semester 2: Week 6: Tuesday+Wednesday

When Wonshik enters the library on Tuesday morning he doesn’t expect to see Taekwoon. Wonshik doesn’t normally come to the library on a Tuesday but he wants to finish something before his politics tutorial. He knows that Taekwoon works all afternoon on Tuesdays, so he really didn’t think Taekwoon would be there.

But he is there, sitting at the same table he had been at last time. A smile stretches across his face when he sees Wonshik with his bulging bag and notebook in hand.

With a small clench of his heart Wonshik realises that this is the first time he’s seen Taekwoon with a full out smile. Pushing down his desire to go over, Wonshik turns his back on the older man like he was a stranger and sits down at a table that is already uncomfortably full. He is determined not to come between Hakyeon and Taekwoon, and if that meant staying away from Taekwoon then so be it.

The first thing Taekwoon feels is confusion. Wonshik had seen him right? Why didn’t he come over? Has Taekwoon done something to make him angry? He hasn’t seen Wonshik since last Wednesday, what could he have done since then?

The second thing Taekwoon feels is hurt. Just the simple hurt that comes from rejection. He watches Wonshik sit down and take out his laptop. After several minutes of staring at Wonshik, he finally gets back to work.

He thought they were friends, or at least on the verge of becoming friends. Did Wonshik not think so? Was he too burdensome to be around? Had Wonshik gotten sick of the silence? Just why?

Taekwoon figured that with the way things were going, Wonshik wouldn’t be in the library on Wednesday. He’s right. Wonshik chooses to study at home between classes, barely getting anything done and cursing himself for being a coward.

It still hurts to think that he’s been rejected in some way, but Taekwoon just wants to know why. More than anything. When Taekwoon tried to talk to Hakyeon about it Tuesday night after work, Hakyeon had suggested that he wait patiently. He also thought it was a bad idea to ask Hongbin about it when Taekwoon had suggested that.

Taekwoon decides that asking Hongbin is exactly what he’ll do.

“Taekwoon!” Hongbin greets.

Taekwoon had texted Hongbin and told him to meet him at the lake park near the university. It was largely abandoned during the day, which was important to Taekwoon. It was also somewhere Hakyeon never went because he thought the swans were scary.

“What did you want to talk about?” Hongbin asks when the elder gets closer.

“Is something wrong with Wonshik?”

Hongbin looks surprised. By his straightforwardness? Or because there is something wrong?

“What makes you think there’s something wrong with Wonshik?”

To be honest Wonshik is sulking still. Hongbin had read a few angry raps in Wonshik’s notebook and one song that was just incredibly depressing.

“He suddenly started ignoring me.”

Hongbin tries to think of an answer that holds up his promise with Hakyeon but doesn’t misrepresent Wonshik.

Apparently he’s too slow though because Taekwoon adds, “Did something happen the other day when his parents were over?”

“His parents were over?” Hongbin repeats in confusion.

“Hakyeon said that –”

Taekwoon’s eyes snap closed with the realisation and he takes a deep breath before speaking. “Tell me honestly, Hongbin. Did you call Wonshik last Wednesday?”

Hongbin’s face is apologetic but Taekwoon doesn’t see it. “I didn’t.”

Taekwoon groans and pulls his fingers through his hair, looking over at the younger man. “Then why did Hakyeon tell me you did?”

“He and Wonshik… had a bit of a fight.”

“What about?”

Hongbin shrugs. “I don’t think I should be the one to tell you.”

 “Why would Wonshik avoid me if he fought with Hakyeon?”

“I don’t know,” Hongbin says truthfully. He knew that Hakyeon hadn’t told him the whole story. He could probably figure out why Wonshik was choosing to avoid Taekwoon though.

“Hakyeon was probably worried about you getting too close to Wonshik.”

Taekwoon feels a little bit betrayed. He’d done his best to support Hakyeon in his many – failed – relationships, couldn’t Hakyeon do the same from him? Sure, he owed so much to Hakyeon, but he’d like to think Hakyeon trusted him with his own relationships. Obviously not.

“Agh,” Taekwoon grumbles. “Now I have to talk to Hakyeon about this too.”

They wander around the lake in silence for a little while before sitting down on a bench.

“You really can’t tell me what they fought about?”

Hongbin considers it. If he tells Taekwoon he’ll be butting in but everything will get resolved a whole lot faster. Will telling Taekwoon cause a fight between him and Hakyeon? Probably. Actually they would probably end up having a fight about this in the future anyway when Taekwoon finds out about the lies Hakyeon has told.

Trying to see all the outcomes makes his head hurt so Hongbin just goes for it. “Apparently Wonshik told you to hit someone.”

Taekwoon blinks at Hongbin. “So?”

“That’s what the fight was about.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?!” Hongbin cries in disbelief. “You’re kidding! We all know how much you hate just the idea of hitting people!”

He does hate it. The thought of hitting someone just to protect himself makes him feel sick, especially if he’s not being physically hurt.

“I was kind of expecting it from Wonshik, actually,” Taekwoon admits. “I knew when he saw that situation that that’s how he’d respond.”

“How did you know that?” Hongbin asks. He doubts Wonshik simply told Taekwoon his childhood and beliefs randomly.

“Wonshik let me read his notebook. A recurring theme was standing up for yourself even if it came to violence.”

“He let you read his notebook?” Taekwoon nods. “He doesn’t let anybody read that! It took me years to get even a peak!”

Taekwoon shrugs since he has no explanation. He’d asked and Wonshik had given.

“Ugh, I may as well just tell you everything I know about the fight since this is how you’ve reacted to it.”

“What more was there?”

“For it to make sense I need to tell you about Wonshik. It’s not really my place to tell you about his experiences but I don’t think he’ll care, given the situation.”

“His experiences?”

Hongbin ignores the question since he’s going to get there in a second anyway. “From what I know, during the fight after hearing that Wonshik had told you to hit someone, Hakyeon chewed Wonshik out and told him that he doesn’t know your circumstances and therefore shouldn’t tell you what to do in a situation like that. The thing is that when Wonshik was a kid and even in his early teens his dad used to beat him and his sister, pretty badly too. His parents divorced and they lived just with their dad. Their mum didn’t even know they were getting abused until Wonshik completely snapped one day when his sister was getting beaten and beat the out of his dad.”

Taekwoon isn’t sure how to respond except to ask, “What happened to his dad?”

“He’s in prison. Wonshik and his sister moved in with their mum and step-dad after that.”

“Oh.”

“Wonshik doesn’t put up with people that try to intimidate others, it’s as simple as that.”

“And Hakyeon told him –”

“Pretty much,” Hongbin cuts him off. “I was so annoyed when I heard that.”

Because Wonshik stood up for me before anybody else ever did, he adds silently.

They drop into silence then, both lost in their own thoughts. Taekwoon is thinking about what Wonshik had been through and what Hakyeon had said to him. He’s annoyed at his friend.

“What should I say to Hakyeon?” he asks Hongbin.

“Maybe you should just talk to him about the things he’s done that you think were unwarranted.”

Taekwoon nods.

“You could also yell at him, he won’t expect that.”

“Mmm.”