Another cold night. Sehun gripped his older brother’s hand tightly, leaning closer into him for warmth. Jongin slipped his free hand around the boy pressing him tightly into his frame. “Hyung,” Sehun looked up at Jongin from underneath his dirty hood.

“Sh, just sleep. I’m right here.” It was hard to “just sleep” on a flattened out cardboard box placed near a dumpster on a cold Seoul street, but with growling stomachs and aching bodies the two boys succumbed to the fatigue.

Sehun awoke the next morning to see his brother shivering arms still wrapped around him only his hoodie removed and placed over Sehun like a blanket.  Sehun hated when his brother did that, although he knew he just wanted him to be okay it made the younger boy worry. What if Jongin got sick? They weren’t in a situation where doctors visits were affordable. Sehun pulled Jongin’s sweater from off his lap and placed it back on the older boy causing him to stir, “Sehun? It’s okay, I’m fine I don’t need it.” Jongin tried to take off the sweater again but Sehun stopped him, “Liar.” Jongin stopped moving and let Sehun fix the sweater onto his shoulders, he was right.

They had made exactly fourteen dollars today. A lot considering how few people passed them on the street. Jongin and Sehun sometimes danced on the street for money. Sehun wasn’t sure where or how his brother learned to dance but he knew he was good, Jongin even taught him some moves. It gave them just enough money to not starve. That fourteen would have to last them the week. It was going to get very cold soon they wouldn’t be able to stand outside for such long stretches of time without getting frostbite, another thing that would cost too much for them to deal with.

Today they ate well, one half of a triangle kimbap each and two hot chocolates. Much more than they had eaten in a long while. While their stomachs were not full the boys were content. Only they returned “home” to their box to find it had been taken by an older drunken man. “He must need it more.” Jongin grabbed Sehun’s hand and walked away, not wanted to create conflict on this relatively good day.  Jongin and Sehun walked slowly, tired and having no place to hurry to. Sehun spotted an old abandoned playground, a spot the two often slept in as children that they had long since forgotten about. The ground was overrun with weeds the grass untrimmed, the swings and slide rusted over and different graffiti tags decorating the brick walls surrounding the area. Jongin remembered the spot under the slide to be their favorite, closed off from the real world decorated like a little house for children to play in. When they were younger Jongin used to tell Sehun he would buy them a house just like that one only ten times bigger and stocked so full of delicious foods that they wouldn’t be able to eat it all. Sehun and Jongin laid down below the slide, the little home feeling a lot more cramped than when they were kids. “Hyung, will we ever get that home?” Jongin listened to his sleepy brother. “We will. I promise.” He turned over and pulled Sehun into his chest kissing his hair and waiting for his breaths to even out before shutting his own eyes.

Jongin awoke to find Sehun missing, “Sehun? Hun?” he looked around worried when he spotted him in the far corner of the playground knees pulled into his chest and hands over his ears. Jongin in quickly got up and went over to him, “Sehun?” His brother’s eyes were shut and he was biting down hard on his lip causing it to bleed. Jongin grabbed Sehun’s hands and moved them from his ears, he was shaking violently, “Sehun please look at me.” Sehun opened his eyes and slowly looked up at his brother, his eyes weren’t focusing though his pupils dilated and shaking almost as much as his hands. This had to be another one of his panic attacks that had been coming more recently as the colder season approached. Jongin held Sehun’s face making the younger calm down a bit, he pulled Sehun closer and stroked his head, “Sh, you’re alright. Hyung is here. Sh, just calm down.” When Sehun’s skinny fingers tightened around the thin fabric of Jongin’s old t-shirt he knew they would be okay.