Have you ever met someone, who made your heart pound in your chest, who made you gasp for air whenever your eyes met - who's mere being was enough for you to stumble in your words? Who made your life just far better?

Well, for Donghae this feeling certainly was familiar. And the person who picked his interest? Hyukjae, his family's gardener. There was something... fascinating in the way Hyukjae took care of their garden, especially roses. How he would treat them ever so gently, yet curse loudly when he got pricked by the thorn.

Without first noticing it himself, Donghae's eyes would wander to the gap between the curtains and search for the black haired man at the garden. Absentmindedly he would his lip as he watched how Hyukjae wiped off the sweat with the back of his hand, or drop whatever there was in his hands when occasionally the said man took off his shirt, revealing way too much skin for Donghae to handle at once. Yet, he was unable to tear his eyes off of the man. But it was enough for him to just look Hyukjae. It used to be enough, but as time went by it became harder and harder.

Some would say it was sickening, for Donghae to gaze another male with such eyes, for Donghae to yearn for him. There would be people who would understand, or at least try to, but there was no denying about the fact that part of the population would scorn at him, cuss behind his back if they would know about his thoughts. Even Hyukjae himself could react that way if he knew.

No, Hyukjae would never do such a thing. Not his Hyukjae, no. Because whenever their eyes met, he would smile for Donghae, he would wave his hand as greeting. Surely it meant that he was interested too? Right? Right? 

Of course, that's how it is. Maybe the gardener was just shy to admit his feelings towards him? Donghae giggled that must be it! 

But... if that was the case, why did he saw that very same man leading a woman to shelter where he kept his working tools, as Donghae just happened to come home earlier due the flu he caught? What did they do there, behind closed doors, for few hours, which he spend by the gap of curtain, watching that said shelter?

What?

What?

WHAT?

Then he recalled all those moments when he had heard Hyukjae speaking about some woman, saying things such as fiancee right next to her name which Donghae didn't even bother to remember. How could that be true? How could Hyukjae do that to him? How could that... steal him?

Oh...

Now he understands. 

Hyukjae is just trying to make him jealous.

What a relief!

The familiar giggle escapes behind Donghae's lips again, as he tenderly looks at the love of his life through the gap.

Then came the day he didn't saw coming.

His family was invited to Hyukjae's wedding.

Some might think it was strange, for employee have such relationship with the people he worked with, but Donghae's parents considered all of their workers as part of family, and were more than happy to accept the inviting.

Donghae didn't feel the same. It couldn't be true, it just... couldn't. 

Then he decided that he had to talk to Hyukjae, to really clear things out. To tell there was no need to make him jealous, because Donghae was his, had been all along. 

Yes, that he would do.

So he walked to garden where Hyukjae was working, tried not to falter as said man smiled and greeted him and asked if they could talk.
Then he asked if they could go inside the shelter, as he wanted to talk in private. Hyukjae, little surprised, nodded his head, surely wondering what his employers son could possible want to talk with him. But Donghae was determined of becoming more than just that.

"So, what did you have to tell me?" Hyukjae asked, turning around to face Donghae, who's eyes were on the floor

Oh god that voice... that voice... it was weird in away to hear it in such a small space, so close to him.

"Donghae?"

Oh how he loves the way his name sounds when Hyukjae says it...

Donghae takes a deep breath.

"I've looked you from afar as long as I can remember, but you seem so tense.

I hate you. Oh how I hate you for that, Hyukjae.

But you don't have to worry. I love you so so much. Too much."

Hyukjae looks at him, trying to understand what Donghae just said "Worry? I mean... oh... wow, I guess I... I... you know what, thanks for your feelings, but I can't return them." he apologizes.

Donghae thinks his heart just stopped. What? It wasn't supposed to go like this. This wasn't how it was supposed to go at all. He raises his head to look at the man before him...

and then he sees it. The small object on Hyukjae's hand, or more likely on his finger where he had just put it. And then he hears the words he wanted to hear even less "Because I'm already engaged."

Donghae closes his eyes, refusing to look such... a hideous thing. He is shaking as he speaks again.

"I love your voice.

I fall enchanted every time you call my name with it, never have I thought that my name could be beautiful.
But I hate it when you call someone else's name

Stop it."

He raises his hand as he hears how Hyukjae is about to interrupt him and continues.

"I love your eyes

Those eyes that look straight to mine, straight to my soul, as if you were able to tell my every secret.
Don't look into others' eyes.

Stop it"

He lets out humorless laugh

"I love your smile.

I've always loved it but how come I learned to hate it when you show your smile for someone else? 
It is only for me to see

Stop it stop it stop it!"

He opens his eyes and looks straight at Hyukjae's bewildered face. Somehow he feels like crying but not exactly. He can't really describe the feeling.

"You are mine. I won't give you for anyone else, Hyukjae.

You are mine.

You are mine.

You are mine

You have to be mine"

Something inside of Donghae keeps screaming that he must do something.
To make Hyukjae call only his name.
To make Hyukjae only look at him
To make Hyukjae smile for him and for him only

He stands there, thinking, but then he wakes up from his thought as figures that he should finally do something, anything. Even beg if he must.
But how come Hyukjae is lying on the floor before him?

Why is his warm body colder? Why is it dark outside?

"What happened? I can't recall," Donghae whispers

Why is there a knife in my hand? 
Why is it there?
Why is its blade red?

He can't understand what happened.

He crouches down next to Hyukjae.

"Say something.
Why don't you call my name?

Open your eyes.
Why don't you look into my eyes?

Please, smile. 
Why don't you smile?"

He really can't understand.

Yet... as he looks the dried blood under Hyukjae's body and on the blade on his hand, he can't help but smile and giggle a bit in glee.
Because now Hyukjae was his.

Only his.

Why on earth do I always write these weird- oneshots?

Oh well