summer before freshman year

It was tradition for Sehun's family to go vacation on the beach for a majority of the summer. As it was, he often didn't see a lot of his parents as they were usually too busy working or at the country club to bother with, so bringing their family to the ocean for the summer was their way of trying to insist to their friends that they spent time with the family. Sehun didn't particularly mind, he was used to the situation of being mostly by himself and in finding his own amusement throughout his life. Chanyeol was his step-brother, something that had been a fact for so many years that he hardly bothered to differentiate the fact that they weren't actually related. His mother had married Chanyeol's father when he was only 6, Chanyeol only 8.

Even though they were step-brothers, they didn't spend all that much time together. Chanyeol often went on his own way, claiming he was too old to hang around with someone like Sehun in his free time. In the summer before Sehun entered high school, at the age of only 14, he felt a bit lost and intimidated by the prospect of going into high school. Chanyeol refused to tell him much about it, claiming that he'd find out for himself soon enough and that he “didn't want to spoil the surprise,” which did nothing to soothe his nerves.

And so on the evening that they arrived at their oceanfront vacation home, Sehun excused himself after a dinner provided by the chef to go revisit the area and see what may have changed or what he might find. There was only a month left of summer, the rest of the time having passed in their air-conditioned home watching a lot of bad television. Normally they spent most of the summer at the ocean, but his step-father had been tied up with his work.

As he stepped along the beach, toes squishing in the damp sand, he became aware of another boy sitting in the sand, his toes buried in it and arms folded around his knees. He hadn't seen him before – at least that he recalled – but something about him seemed almost sad. Normally Sehun was rather shy in general, a little too self-conscious to generally approach people he didn't even know. But there was something about him that seemed somehow gentle.

“Hey,” Sehun greeted him, voice a bit quiet in his insecurity.

The boy blinked before glancing up, his dark eyes framed by his dark hair falling into his eyes. “Oh, hello,” he said, seemingly a bit surprised at someone else being there and speaking to him. “You weren't trying to get my attention for too long, right?” he asked, a little smile coming to his full lips, a touch of shyness in the moment.

Sehun shook his head, though he was a bit taken aback at how lovely he was. He'd been aware that he liked his own gender for some time, though it wasn't something he often spoke of or often dealt with, but he didn't normally feel himself attracted to others that were actually before him. Most of the boys at his school were too abrasive or loud for his interest to be piqued. “No. You just looked kind of lonely. What are you doing here?” he asked, glancing around at the mostly empty beach.

The other looked around him as well, seemingly having been unaware of that fact. “Oh. Uh, I guess I came out here to think and I sort of lost track of time,” he said with a little bit of a laugh.

The sound sent a chill down Sehun's spine, but he only offered a little smile. “That's kind of weird. I'm Sehun. Are you here for the summer?” he asked, curious about the other.

“Hi Sehun,” he said, “I'm Jongin. And no, I actually live around here all year. I'm guessing you're part of the summer crowd?”

He rolled the name around in his mind, playing it over and over again. “Jongin,” he said aloud, enjoying the way that it sounded on his tongue, “Yeah, I guess I am.” Something about admitting that he was only one of the many vacationers seemed suddenly shameful, aware that most of the time those who lived in the town full-time had a bit of a grudge against those who only appeared in the summers.

Jongin patted the sand, in a bit of invitation to let Sehun join him. “That must be fun. So where are you normally from? The city?” he asked, folding his arms over his stomach.

“Yeah,” he confirmed with a little laugh before sitting in the sand as well, feet stretching out into the sand. The waves were rolling, but the tide wasn't high enough to reach them yet. “So what were you thinking about?” he asked, though he knew that it was probably none of his business to ask.

Jongin sighed softly, a hand going to push his bangs away from his eyes. “I don't know. One minute I was thinking about starting work at the country club tomorrow, and then before I knew it I was just sitting here thinking about everything,” he shrugged.

“You're working at the country club?” he asked, wondering how old the other was considering. He didn't look older than him, but he wasn't sure.

“Eh, yeah. My dad works there so he sort of pulled some strings and now I'm stuck at the snack bar for the rest of the summer,” he shrugged, “And I guess I always just come here when I think, so...” he trailed off. “Let me guess, your family is part of the country club here?” Jongin offered with a wry smile.

Sehun snorted quietly, letting his gaze linger on the beach as it reflected the orange of the setting sun. “Of course,” he confirmed, “How old are you, anyway?” he asked, finally allowing himself to simply ask.

“Fourteen.”

His brows lifted slightly in surprise. “Oh. I didn't really expect that,” he said, “so am I. What grade are you in?” he asked, not sure if he had recently turned fourteen or what.

“Hey, that's cool then. I'm going into tenth, you?”

Sehun wrinkled his nose. “I officially feel young then. I'm just going into ninth,” he admitted.

Jongin laughed softly. “It's okay with me,” he shrugged, “are you nervous about starting high school?”

“A little. Should I be?”

“No, I think you'll be fine. Your family has money, you can't be too much of an outcast that way, right?” he offered with another smile, clearly only teasing him slightly.

“Well, you might hate me for admitting this, but I actually go to a...private school, so most of the kids there are rich,” he said with a little shrug. Sure, he didn't know much about Jongin, but he somehow felt more comfortable around him than many other people that he knew, even at his school.

“Of course you do,” Jongin smiled, “Well...I hope it goes alright. I can't give you much advice by way of private schools, but I promise it's probably not that scary.”

Sehun nodded a little. “We'll see, but I'll try to take your advice on this one. My brother probably won't make it that easy for me, though,” he laughed.

“Ah, brothers. See, I've heard about those but I'm stuck with sisters,” he smiled, “that reminds me that I should probably get going. My mom will probably be wondering what happened to me,” he excused himself, moving to stand up. Hands moved to swipe off the sand that clung to his skin and the shorts that hung on his hips. “But I hope I'll see you around this summer,” he said and offered a little wave before he began walking away.

Sehun sighed softly, a smile coming to his lips in the other's wake for what felt like the first time in weeks, possibly months. Normally his summers were passed in a sort of quiet solitude and dreading the upcoming school year. But somehow he felt that it was different.

#

The summer passed in moments of amusement and time spent with Jongin, in moments where the other wasn't working at the country club or tied up with his familial obligations. It was a new concept for Sehun, to actually be around someone who put their family so high on their priority list. He saw him in passing at the club when his parents asked him along, but usually Jongin was too busy to offer more than a smile and whatever he ordered. Of course, that being said, it meant that Sehun ended up visiting the club's snack bar more often than he normally might, just for a glimpse of that smile.

When they managed to get together, time passed in moments of laughter and the simplicity of their age. They had their worries, of course, but they easily pushed them aside in favor of the fact that it was summer and there was no real purpose in worrying about things that wouldn't effect them for weeks to come. It was nice to embrace the simplicity of their friendship, that they passed the time in ways that seemed befitting of boys their age. They swam in the ocean and watched the trees, they explored parts of the town Sehun had never seen before, and took long walks talking about their families and the movies they liked. It was nice to find something so simple that made him so comfortable. Normally he had a bit of a tough time with friends, it wasn't that people didn't like him, it was just that he was often a little too self-conscious to maintain relationships with the other boys at his school for long.

When the summer began to close in, however, and the weather began to cool ever so slightly into the blush beginnings of autumn, the realization settled onto Sehun that he and his family would be leaving soon enough to return to the rushing, relentless city. Normally he found their summers at the ocean to be boring and dragging along, but this summer he was reluctant to leave.

“We're leaving tomorrow,” he suddenly said one early evening as they were sitting along a stream that Jongin had claimed to be one of his favorite spots. The running stream ran along near where they sat, Jongin's feet in the water. Sehun's arms were closed around his knees, biting his bottom lip softly as he watched the other boy.

Jongin glanced behind him to look at Sehun. His eyes had that dark, serious sort of glimmer that they got sometimes when he spoke of things that were more important to him than he wanted to let on. “Oh, really? So soon?” he asked.

Sehun shrugged. “Yeah...school starts next week, so we have to go,” he explained. They still hadn't bothered to do their shopping for the upcoming school year, so it was going to have to be done in the week that they returned to the city.

“Oh. It doesn't start here for another couple of weeks,” he said, though his glance downward said that he was a bit more affected by the situation than the simple fact of their schools starting at different times.

“But...” he paused, wanting to wipe away the sadness he saw in the other's eyes. Over the past weeks he had grown fond of him, and he lived to make him smile or hear his laugh, so he couldn't bear to see that sadness fall on his expression. “I'll be back next year. My family comes here every summer, so maybe we can keep in contact,” he suggested.

And suddenly that magical smile appeared on Jongin's face, “I'd like that,” he agreed, turning back toward the stream.

summer before sophomore year

Sehun sighed softly as he piled into the car they were taking to the ocean house, for once a sense of excitement taking over at the prospect of doing so. Chanyeol was next to him in the back, already texting his latest girlfriend about his proposed idea of taking a break for the summer. It was a little something he always did in order that he could be 'free' for the summer in case he met anyone to have a summer romance with, or something like that.

In the front seat, his step-father was checking that they had everything, relaying his mental checklist aloud. His mom was in the passenger's seat, assuring him that they had everything and waving away the concerns. It was the usual way things happened when they all got together, his step-father always making sure everything was going according to plan and his mother trying to keep the peace. Of course, the valium she took before going on trips always helped her relaxation.

Once everyone was more or less assured that everything was either in the car or at the house already, the finally pulled away. Sehun laughed a little at his step-father's retentive nature, and pulled out his own phone to see if there was anything from Jongin. As he'd hoped, there was a message displayed from him, simply asking when he would be arriving.

Over the year, they'd kept in contact about their school years and about what changes occurred in their life, more or less. They only spoke every now and again since they did have their own worries to deal with, and they wanted to save something for when they would get together the next summer.

'A few hours,' he texted, 'are you working today?' Though Jongin's job at the snack bar of the country club had ended once the summer was over, he told Sehun about his new job at one of the coffee shops in town.

'Bro when aren't I working lol,' came the response, though the bubbles alerted him that Jongin wasn't done texting him. 'I get off at 6 tonight though. Want to drop by or should I come find you?'

A smile came to Sehun's expression at the text. It somehow meant so much that Jongin would bother to check with him about something like that, to offer that he didn't mind if Sehun came into his life or even that he'd be kind enough to deal with his lack of knowledge in the town's layout. 'Not sure yet. It'll depend on the family's plans. I'll let you know.'

Of course, it was a little bit of a white lie. He was sure that his family wouldn't have many plans in general, with their usual first night of vacation spent with his parents at the country club re-acquainting themselves with their friends and Chanyeol either playing video games or out prowling for some girl to spend his summer with. But he didn't really want to seem too desperate to see the other, even though he was. He wanted to see how much he'd changed, if he seemed like the same person that he'd met a year ago. He'd added him on social media accounts, of course, and he liked being able to see the nuances of his changes and what he was up to in any given update, but it was different than actually being around him again.

It took the usual few hours to make it to the oceanfront home, familiar sights encompassing the windows. There was an eternal salty sea smell that permeated the air of the seaside town, something that had become comforting and that alerted him to the realization that it was vacation and not anything like the city air that fell over their penthouse apartment.

#

It was early evening when he walked into the coffee shop, after his parents had simply kissed his cheeks and told him to stay safe before they headed off to the club. Chanyeol had wandered away the moment they'd parked, and Sehun remained to try and sort things out before texting Jongin again to let him know that he could go see him.

His gaze scanned over the dimly lit cafe, taking in the scattered patrons hovering over their cups of coffee and with their notebooks and laptops. It took a moment for him to see Jongin behind the counter, his back turned toward him as he wiped down the counter. His shoulders looked more broad under his grey t-shirt than they had last summer, and his hair was styled differently. Last year it had hung into his eyes that made him look shy and innocent. Now it was pushed back and styled away from his forehead. It took him a moment to recover himself and actually approach the counter. Jongin was the one to glance over at the sudden presence before the counter, and recognition dawned in a sudden moment. A smile broke over his face, the same smile that had greeted him the year before. “Sehun! I wasn't sure if you'd find it, hey,” he said excitably.

He was struck by both how similar and different Jongin seemed. The smile was still the exact same, the shining nature of his dark eyes the same as when he was excited about something. But everything else seemed so different. The hair being styled away from his eyes made him look older and more handsome than pretty, his voice seemed a touch deeper, and his skin seemed to be tanned deeper than it had been. It was startling, and it took Sehun a moment to snap out of his daze. “Oh, yeah. It confused me a little bit, but I finally figured it out,” he offered a light laugh, “it's so weird to see you...you look different.” He hadn't anticipated actually saying as such, but it was too late.

Thankfully Jongin simply laughed, the sound less shy than it had been the previous year. “I was thinking the same thing, actually. Do you want a drink? I'm off here in like twenty minutes,” he offered, the tilt of his head a suggestion to wait for him.

“Sure,” Sehun agreed and looked at the board, “double nonfat latte?” he ordered, and handed out his credit card to pay for it, but Jongin waved it away.

“No charge for friends,” he said and offered a wink before turning to go make the drink.

It was startling almost, how different Jongin seemed to be. Last summer he'd been quiet and seemed almost innocent and still childlike in his ways, but there was a certain level of confidence that seemed to wrap around him now. It was startling, but it was also alarmingly attractive in a way that he hadn't expected.

Sehun sat down in a corner booth with the steaming cup, his fingers wrapped around it as he took in the moment. He watched Jongin out of the corner of his eye as he worked behind the counter and interacted with the customers. He seemed friendly and comfortable in every moment, easily offering smiles and small talk with those who approached the counter. It was interesting, he remembered the way that Jongin had dreaded his job at the snack bar and shyly asked customers what they wanted – often with having to repeat his words back at them.

Once it approached the time for Jongin to get off, he resumed gazing out the window as people passed along the sidewalk and as the streetlights began popping on like stars. Jongin suddenly appeared at the table, sliding into the other side of the booth with a smile painted on his lips. “Hey, sorry that took a little longer than it was supposed to,” he apologized.

Sehun shook his head. “It's fine. It's a little chilly here to feel like summer,” he commented, though he felt a little dumb simply talking about the weather.

But thankfully Jongin didn't seem to mind. “Yeah, the ocean makes everything a little colder it seems. I guess around here we're used to it,” he shrugged a little. “So how's the family?”

Sehun made a face at the question. “Same as ever. Chanyeol is still trying to be a womanizer. My parents are still mostly gone, nothing's changed really,” he offered, a little disappointed in that fact himself. That was the thing with his family, though, they remained in a certain state of limbo where things often never changed. They didn't have dramatic moments as career changes or sudden spontaneous decisions. “Sorry for that boring update. How's yours?”

Jongin reached over and grabbed Sehun's half-filled cup, bringing it to his lips and stealing a drink of it before he answered. “You know, I think your unchanging family is kind of a blessing. At least you can probably guess what's going to happen in a couple of years,” he offered, setting the cup back in front of Sehun. “Mine's...alright, I guess. My dad lost his job again, mom's still at the hairdresser's,” he paused for a brief moment, “my sister is...well, honestly, I don't know. She's always gone lately. It's kind of weird, my parents are worried about her, but...” he trailed off.

It was startling how different their situations were. Jongin's family never seemed to be in much of a better position, struggling to make ends meet from what the other had told him. Which is why Jongin ended up having to work at his age as well. “I'm sorry to hear that,” he said, biting his bottom lip softly. Frankly he didn't know what to say in such situations, as he wasn't exactly used to it from the way that most of his friends in school dealt with very small problems in comparison.

“It's all good. It'll work out in the end,” Jongin shrugged, “So freshman year wasn't as bad as you feared, right?” he asked, “You didn't really say much in your texts.”

It sent a flutter through his stomach that Jongin bothered to recall his texts or even that he cared about his journey into high school. “Oh, yeah. It wasn't that bad. I mean...in comparison to middle school it was a bit better. But I'm glad the year's over.”

“I'm glad you're here. My mom said that I shouldn't consider the vacationers as friends, but I told her that you were different. Come on, let's go somewhere,” he suggested, already sliding out of the booth and reaching to pull Sehun along with him.

There was something about the fact that they were from such different worlds but still came together in the summers that made Sehun simultaneously hopeful and just a bit melancholic. He couldn't understand why their parents seemed to have so many reservations against each other, as he recalled that when he mentioned Jongin to his parents they'd all but sneered their noses at the idea of Sehun befriending a 'townie.'

#

They decided to walk down to the stream that they'd last seen one another the previous year, walking along the way since neither of them could yet drive. When they got there, the small waterfall was rushing and the stream was full and clear. Sehun smiled a little as he gazed down, crouching over the stream and reaching out to let his fingertips grace the cold water. “It's kind of weird that it's been an entire year,” he said, though he couldn't say exactly where he was going with his thought.

Jongin laughed a little behind him, and it was only a moment later that he sat down near Sehun, his shoes off and his jeans rolled up. As had been the last sight he'd seen of Jongin the previous summer, he dipped his feet into the water. “It's freezing,” he wrinkled his face.

“Then why are you still sitting there?”

“Because it feels good. Sometimes it's nice to feel uncomfortably cold or something, you know? It lets you feel like you're really here and things really matter, I guess,” he explained, “Come on, join me.”

Sehun frowned, not really sure about Jongin's logic on this one. There was no doubt that the other boy was different than anyone he'd ever met, and he only continued to prove that fact the more he spent time with him. “Alright, but you can't laugh if I scream,” he agreed and began to undo his shoes.

“No promises,” Jongin teased, his gaze falling on Sehun as he watched him take off his shoes and socks.

Sehun rolled up the legs of his black jeans, though he wasn't too sure about the whole situation if he was being honest with himself. But he didn't want to go back on it, so he sat next to Jongin and dipped a toe into the water. He started and pulled it back out, “Dude, that's like ice,” he whined.

Jongin whacked him in the arm lightly. “Do it,” he coerced.

“I think this is the peer pressure they warn you about,” he said playfully, narrowing his eyes at his friend.

“Oh come on, it's water. I'm not offering you crack,” he laughed.

“Ugh, fine,” Sehun agreed and bit the bullet, sinking his feet into the water. Waves of shock rolled over him, fists clenching against the chill of the water. “Oh my god this is hell,” he complained, “why would you ask me to do this?” Even with his complaints, however, he didn't move away.

“Because you need to feel. You're all wrapped up in this little protected private school bubble with an unchanging family and all wrapped inside your own head. So you need to feel something outside of all of that,” he explained, an arm going to wrap around Sehun's shoulders, head going to lean against his shoulder. “Plus, it's funny because you look like you're about to cry.”

“Shut up,” Sehun grumbled, but didn't move away from him. He couldn't argue with his words, he knew that his life was overly protected and nurtured in ways that other people couldn't understand. And even if that was the case, he was glad that Jongin simply was trying to nudge him away from it and wasn't judgmental about a life he couldn't change. As he sat there, however, the cold water rushing around his legs, he began to settle into the feeling. He wasn't sure if it was numbing or adjusting, but he didn't mention it either way.

But after a moment, Jongin spoke up again. “What did you mean I've changed?” he asked.

Sehun suppressed the urge to groan, not wanting to say something embarrassing. “I don't know...you seem just...different I guess. More confident, maybe. And your hair looks different,” he shrugged, not wanting to make such a big deal of it. He neglected to mention the broadening of his shoulders and the bit of hair that had become noticeable on his arms.

Jongin snorted beside him. “The hair was my sister's idea, she said it made me look less...babyish. But I think I'd disagree about the confidence part,” he shook his head.

“She was right,” Sehun paused, wanting to just leave it at that, but he never seemed to know when to hold his tongue around the other. “I don't know. Like last year at the snack bar you were so quiet and you seemed a little afraid or something. But seeing you at the coffee shop you just seemed a lot more comfortable with yourself.”

Jongin hummed softly. “That's possible. Maybe it's hard to notice when we change for ourselves,” he laughed a little.

“You said I changed too. What did you mean?” he asked, though he thought it was more of a formality than anything that Jongin had even said so. He still had the same dark hair that fell just to his brows, still the same sense of awkwardness in his demeanor.

“Your shoulders seem more broad...and you've gotten taller,” Jongin said, a smile blossoming over his face.

It was the same smile that Sehun remembered, and this time it was accompanied by the way that Jongin looked at him from under his lashes, the same innocent and shy smile that had first sent chills down his spine. A slight bit of warmth came into his cheeks as the comment settled over him, realizing that they'd noticed the same thing in one another. “Maybe,” he agreed, averting his gaze downward.

Jongin let out a quiet laugh next to him. “But I'm glad to see you're still as weird and quiet as ever,” he teased, accompanied by a light bump into his shoulder.

#

It didn't take them long to settle back into their habits of the previous year, venturing out in moments where they could both get away from their obligations to go explore the same grounds and a few new ones. It was almost amazing to Sehun how easily he settled into a state of comfort around Jongin, suddenly being able to speak more freely than he had in the entirety of the year between and feeling comfortable laughing around him.

Their days and evenings together passed in moments of laughter and conversations about their respective schools. They relayed events that either might be interested in, including some kind of strange scandals that had occurred or anything momentous that happened in their respective social circles. Their lives were so opposite and different from one another, but they found in their stories that much of the happenings in their lives still proved similar in problem. They spoke of their families further in depth, of what had transpired over the year. They spoke of their fears, of the music they were listening to and the movies they'd seen.

It didn't take long for it to become apparent to Sehun that Jongin hadn't actually changed that much. He mostly still wore his hair in his eyes, something that enhanced his youth and shyness that Sehun realized was still very much a part of him. In the moments where they were alone, Jongin was still the same with soft laughs and silly jokes that mostly weren't that funny – but Sehun would always laugh anyway just because he liked the way that Jongin amused himself. Whenever they were around others – mostly people Jongin didn't stop and talk to for long – he was back to a sort of confidence and easy smiles that were different than the shy moments with Sehun. It didn't take him long to peg it as a sort of feigned confidence, something he put on in order to seem more sure of himself than he actually was. At least that's how he saw it, or else there was a reason that Jongin was more shy around him, something he couldn't imagine.

Or perhaps it was a sort of false hope that he could see the reality of who Jongin really was. That he was the one to see past the mask and see past what he presented himself as for others. There was nothing that really lead him to believe it other than the simple fact that he was so different around Sehun and others – but a fact he clung to nonetheless. He wanted to be the one who knew all the sides of him, wanted to know what he was like in the silent moments by himself.

#

One late evening in the middle of summer they got together on the beach, their toes digging into the sun and eyes cast toward the ocean waves running just over their feet. “What do you think of the future?” Sehun suddenly spoke, fingers scooping up sand and letting it fall between in a slow stream.

“What do you mean?” Jongin asked, turning his face up toward the remaining rays of sunlight, eyes fluttering shut.

Sehun glanced toward him, taking in the way his eyelashes brushed against his cheeks in feather-light caresses and the soft swell of his nose and lips. “I don't know. Like what you'll do later, after school is over and everything,” he continued, dragging himself out of noticing the other's features as they were being kissed by the sun.

“Hmm. I mean, they keep encouraging us to make some kind of life decision in high school. So yeah, I've thought about it. But I really don't know what I want to do,” he shrugged a little.

Sehun nodded, even though he knew that Jongin wouldn't see it. “Yeah, it's kind of weird I guess. I mean, I guess I'm supposed to follow in the footsteps of...well, someone in my family, I don't know who though,” he said with a little laugh.

Jongin cracked an eye, gaze rolling toward him. “What do you mean?”

“Well, it's kind of weird I guess. Because my step-father is in business, he owns some corporations and stuff. But my dad was a litigator, so I'm not sure what I'm actually expected to do,” he shrugged. He didn't talk about it all that much with other people, but there was always something about Jongin that remained comforting.

“What happened to your dad?” he asked.

Sehun sighed softly. He wasn't bothered by the question since he was the one that offered up information about him in the first place. “He's in prison,” he said quietly.

Jongin raised up, eyebrows lifting as he turned his attention toward Sehun. “Wait...seriously? For what?”

“Fraud and embezzlement,” he offered, “it's okay, I mean...I barely knew him before he was arrested. And he's on the other side of the country, so it's not something I worry about a lot. That's why my mom married my step-father though, because she had to save face after everything went down. I mean I don't know, supposedly she loved him anyway, but...yeah,” he shrugged as he trailed off.

“Wow,” Jongin uttered, “that's pretty messed up. I'm sorry about that. But okay...question. Back to the future conversation, what is it that you want to do? You said what was expected of you, but what is it that you want?”

A soft hum escaped him as he considered the question. “I don't know either, I guess. I mean...I'll probably end up doing business or something because my step-father already has those connections. But I don't know, I don't have anything I really want to do,” he admitted. It was a little strange, given that plenty of people in his school often talked of the future that they had already all mapped out.

“I'm glad we're both a couple of lost souls, then,” Jongin said with a bit of amusement in his voice. Suddenly he lifted up from where he'd been leaning on his arms and reached out to pull Sehun into a hug, arms wrapping around his waist. It only lasted a moment before he released him, a little smile on his face.

“What was that for?” Sehun asked, a little too stunned at the sudden motion of affection to really return it.

“You looked like you needed it,” Jongin shrugged, his smile widening. “You'll work everything out, I know you will.”

#

For the most part, they stayed away from one another's families. They spoke of them, and let each other in on what was occurring with their families, but in general they didn't actually have all that much contact. But one day, Jongin asked Sehun to come to his house for the afternoon. It wasn't so common as they usually met somewhere neutral – at the ocean or the coffee shop depending on where Jongin happened to be that day. But he didn't protest either, and simply asked for the address since he'd never actually ventured there.

It was a bit more of trek than he expected, but he made it to the neighborhood and wasn't sure what exactly to expect. He knew that Jongin wasn't particularly wealthy, of course, but the ocean town was rather quaint in general so he didn't think there would be some kind of hovel. What he was greeted with was a community of town homes in shades of white, sky blue and soft grey. They all looked similar, and it took him a few minutes to find the one with the correct combination of letters and number emblazoned on the door.

The lawn was green and there were a few pots of flowers growing near the door in shades of pink and purple. With a soft hum, he went to the door and raised his fist to knock. It was only a moment before the door opened, a girl a few years older than Sehun opening the door with a bored look on her face. There was a resemblance to Jongin, with her full lips and tanned skin. “Yeah?” she asked, her tone matching the expression.

“Um, hi. Jongin asked me to come by? I'm Sehun,” he introduced himself, his strange sense of awkwardness returning.

“Oh, hey, come on in,” she said and stepped to the side. “I think he's upstairs. Last door on the left,” she waved the way and turned to go sit down on the couch, feet plopping onto the stained coffee table.

He wasn't really used to such behavior, as most of the time people he knew were prided on their manners, but he knew that it was all different. And so he simply thanked her quietly, and followed her instructions to go up the stairs. There were a few creaks on his way, and he ascended slowly up to the second level with a sense of curiosity. He wondered what kind of things Jongin would surround himself with, and it only took a moment for him to reach the door his sister had indicated. He raised his fist to knock a couple of times.

There was a grunt on the other side of the door that seemed to be as much of an invitation as he was going to get, so Sehun opened the door and stepped inside. “Hey, Jongin,” he said, his gaze falling over the room to take in the varied posters that decorated his walls. Video games, movies, and comic books seemed to be the theme of it, a very typical sort of room from a boy of their age. The walls were a boring shade of neutral, and there was a computer at his desk that was littered with papers and books. It took a moment for his gaze to fall on Jongin, who was laying on the bed. “Are you alright?”

Jongin wrinkled his nose, but made an effort to sit up. “I have a really gross cold,” he informed him, his voice sounding nasally with his congestion.

“Thanks for inviting me to get sick then,” he laughed, though he didn't actually mind all that much.

“Sorry. I hope you don't get sick, but I was just so bored, I needed some kind of company,” he explained with a little groan from where he was.

Sehun shook his head, but went over and sat down on the bed. “Your sister seems...” he trailed off, frankly not that sure what adjective would seem appropriate in the moment.

Jongin snorted, “I feel the same way. But at least she's home,” he shrugged a little.

He nodded, recalling the way that he'd mentioned how worried his parents had been about her whereabouts. “I'm glad about that. Where are your parents?” he asked, not having heard much from the rest of the house.

Jongin sniffed, “Mom's at work, Dad had to go help Grandma clean the gutters,” he said before letting out a little sneeze.

Sehun laughed a little at the sound, it seeming rather quiet and even cute in comparison to how Jongin normally presented himself. “Bless you.”

They passed the time with idle conversation, talking about Jongin's job and Sehun's school friends that both of them detested on some level. They spoke of happenings in the town, Jongin's information about the regulars and Sehun's about those belonging to the vacation estates. They watched a few movies on Jongin's computer and simply sat in silence as the time passed, and before he really knew it Jongin had fallen asleep and the light had faded from the windows.

#

When the summer came to a close, it came with the usual sense of sadness that school was coming close and that it would be another year before they would actually speak. “You're leaving tomorrow, right?” Jongin asked one night as they sat on the curb out font of the convenience store, sipping from plastic cups of soda.

“Yeah...I don't want school to start, though. Will you keep in contact?” he asked. It was weeks after Jongin's cold had cleared up, and Sehun was glad that the summer had ended with them being able to revisit the stream and the ocean together again.

“Of course. And you'll come back next year?” he asked, offering a bag of chips to Sehun.

He took a few and nodded. “Every year,” he confirmed. “You know summer has become my favorite season?”

“Because of me?” Jongin asked, turning his head toward him, gazing up from under his bangs.

“Obviously,” Sehun snorted, though he immediately felt a bit embarrassed of saying so. “The summers before I was mostly just alone and bored and hot. So you know. Thanks for being there that day last year.”

“Don't get sappy on me,” Jongin said with a little laugh, but a moment later he slung an arm around the other's shoulders, squeezing him lightly into his side. “But you know, I'm glad I met you too.”

Warmth trickled into his stomach at the words, and he allowed himself a little smile. He leaned over and pecked Jongin's cheek. “I'll miss you.”

summer before junior year

The following summer, things had changed. It wasn't so much that his life was particularly different, his step-father still had the same occupation and his mother was still the same. But it was the summer before Chanyeol was going to leave for college, a fact that Sehun still hadn't fully settled into. Chanyeol had been such a part of his life since he was a child that he simply couldn't imagine the home without him around. However, his step-brother didn't hold the same sentimentality and insisted that he couldn't wait to get to his university.

But it was other things as well, over the course of the school year he'd watched as Jongin fell for some girl with large eyes and long dark hair. And it was only a few months before the summer that they announced on social media that they were dating. It had made his stomach clench when he saw it, even though he'd seen the signs from miles away with every update. He had no reason to believe that Jongin was interested in guys in the first place, they'd never really discussed that over the couple of summers they'd spent together, but he somehow hopes that it all meant more to Jongin than they'd spoken of.

They piled out of the car to the hot sun beating down on them, the summer warmer than others past. “Do you think we should have a family dinner tonight?” his mom asked, a smile adorning her face as she pushed the hair away from her eyes.

“What? Don't you guys need to go catch up with everyone at the country club?” Sehun asked, having planned on going to see Jongin. The other boy had texted him that he was excited to see him, but they hadn't made any concrete plan yet.

“Well, honey, they'll be there all summer. This is our first night here. And this summer is different,” she said.

“How so?” he asked, a little confused. They never had a dinner together during the school year as it was, much less the first day of their vacation.

“Because I leave for college this fall,” Chanyeol offered, swatting Sehun on the head playfully.

“Yeah...but won't you be back in the summers?” Sehun asked, realization dawning on him that everything truly had changed with Chanyeol's graduation.

“I don't know, maybe,” he shrugged, not seeming to care that it was tradition.

Sehun pressed his lips together slightly, only offering a little nod as they ended up piling into the house. It didn't seem as though it was up for much debate, and he didn't know what to do about it in the first place. His mom ushered them to take their things to their rooms while she ordered the food, and Sehun pulled out his phone as soon as he was behind the door. There wasn't anything from Jongin, something that left him a little bit disappointed, but sent him a message saying, 'weirdly my family decided to have dinner together. are you busy tonight? I'll probably be able to make it after,' he sent.

It was only a moment later that he received a reply. 'lame. But okay it's cool. Let me know when ur free?' was the message.

A sense of relief came to Sehun as he realized that nothing had really changed after all. And that just because his friend had a girlfriend and some things were different didn't mean that everything would go to pot. His spirits lifted, he bounded down the stairs to go eat with his family.

#

When he finally got away from them – after his mother insisted on knowing practically everything about their lives that she'd missed out on – he made his way to the same coffee shop Jongin worked at. The other was still there, and in a way that soothed Sehun into knowing that things were still mostly the same. As he went into the cafe, his eyes scanned the unchanged area, gaze falling on Jongin in the corner booth. He was speaking with someone else whose back was turned to Sehun, but whoever they were they seemed to make Jongin laugh quite a lot.

Running a hand through his hair, he walked over to the table. Eyes lifted to Sehun as he approached, a smile widening on Jongin's face. “Sehun! Hey, you made it,” he said, as though there was still some shred of doubt in his mind. It was immediately obvious that his voice had deepened a few pitches.

“Uh, yeah, hey,” he said quietly.

“This is my best friend, Taemin,” he introduced, gesturing across the table to the other boy.

Sehun's gaze fell on the other, a boy that looked about their age who strangely favored Jongin. His long hair was pulled back in a ponytail, wisps of auburn hair falling into his face. “Hey. So you're the one I've heard so much about,” Taemin said, smiling widely.

“Oh. I hope nothing horrible,” he let out a quiet laugh, “I can't say that Jongin's mentioned you, actually.” He knew that it probably wasn't a polite thing to say, but suddenly he couldn't help the self-conscious nature that often overtook him.

“So that's how it is,” Taemin made a face at the other across from him. “Actually, no surprise. I'm always gone in the summers.”

“Sit down, dude,” Jongin said and pulled Sehun down into the booth with him.

“Oh, right. Sorry, long day,” he excused himself.

“Tae's family is leaving tomorrow, so I figured you wouldn't mind if he hung with us for a few tonight?” he asked.

“No, not a problem,” he agreed. Actually, he felt a little bit awkward about the situation, considering that Taemin and Jongin seemed to be so comfortable around one another, and in a way he felt as though he was the one intruding. “So...uh, where do you usually spend summers?” he asked.

“Spain. It sounds so pretentious, I know. But my grandma decided to move to Spain after my grandpa died, so we've been going ever since,” he shrugged.

“Oh, wow. And I thought my family was stuck up coming here every summer,” he said with a little snort. He thought that might be a rude thing to say, but was glad when the other two laughed.

“Taemin and I have known each other since we were kids. In a town this small, it's pretty hard to get away from anyone,” Jongin explained, “I told him about you back a couple of years ago, but you two never seemed to have overriding schedules to meet.”

In a way Sehun felt as though he was only a summer replacement for Taemin, as though he needed someone to fill in for him. But he knew better than to say that. “Well then I'm glad we could finally get this chance,” he uttered.

“You're right, he is so cute and so shy,” Taemin let out a laugh.

Immediately Sehun could feel his face heating up at the information that Jongin had said anything like that about him. “Shut up,” he mumbled, immediately reverting to his behavior around his friends at school.

Jongin snorted. “I'm glad you two seem to be getting along,” he offered, a twinkle in his eye.

Sehun glared at Jongin, though there was no actual malice in the moment. Of course, unfortunately for him, the moment also gave him the opportunity to notice that Jongin's face had lost some of the innocent chubbiness that occupied his jawline and cheeks, and now his cheekbones stood out a bit more prominently than they had the year before and his jawline stood in sharper contrast to his other soft features.

“Do I have something on my face?” Jongin suddenly asked, fingers reaching to where Sehun seemed to be gazing.

“Oh, uh, no. Sorry, I was just noticing your cheekbones were more pronounced than last summer,” he admitted. Though the admission of that sent another wave of warmth over his cheeks and he quickly averted his gaze downward. From his peripheral vision he could see Taemin giving Jongin a strange look from across the table.

“You're so weird,” Jongin laughed, playfully pushing Sehun's shoulder. “I don't know if that's a compliment or what.”

Taemin cleared his throat. “You know...on second thought I have a lot of packing to do before tomorrow. I'll text you later, Jongin,” he said and slid out of the booth.

“You sure? I thought you'd done that earlier,” Jongin frowned up at his friend.

Taemin smiled widely. “I think I forgot a few things. Remember that thing we talked about earlier? Yeah. It was great to finally meet you Sehun,” he said, his expression warm as it fell on the other.

Sehun wondered what in the world was happening, if he'd done something to really mess up the moment. “Oh...um, yeah it was nice to meet you too,” he offered. They both watched as Taemin sauntered out of the cafe and down the sidewalk. “What was that about?” he asked, not really daring to look at Jongin.

Beside him, his friend shrugged, “It's a...long story?” Jongin shook his head, “Don't worry about it.”

Sehun turned his head toward Jongin again, “No, seriously, that was weird. I mean I'm sorry if I made things awkward, but...”

Jongin wrinkled his nose a little. “Okay. Taemin thinks you have a crush on me. I know, it's stupid and I told him that he was wrong, but that's one of the reasons he wanted to meet you. I don't know, he thinks weird things sometimes.”

A moment passed in silence where Sehun wasn't sure what to say. “Uh...that's...” he trailed, not wanting to lie about the fact that he knew he'd had feelings for the other for years, but also not wanting to make things strange between them.

“...Wait, do you?” Jongin asked suddenly, voice taking on a slightly more serious note. “I mean, I know we never really talked that much about girls or...well, guys, or anything...but...” now it was his turn to trail his train of thought.

Sehun shrugged. “Look, I don't know. I guess I like guys. But I don't want that to make anything different with us.” He tried to skirt around the actual question of how he felt for Jongin. Tried to get away from the fluttering, warm sensations that filled his stomach every time he was around him. He attempted to push away the memories of late nights spent with thinking about Jongin and he together, in moments of blissful pleasure and secretive guilt.

“Oh,” Jongin muttered softly. “I mean, it's okay, I don't mind.”

“You don't?”

“No. I mean, a couple of people I know are into guys. I think. But you didn't actually say anything about if you have a thing for me,” he reminded him, a hand reaching out to Sehun's arm.

It was comforting and warm, and Sehun was glad to have it there. “I don't...” he sighed softly, “No, I do. It's...weird. Like you're beautiful and I've always liked you, but your friendship is the most important thing to me. I know you have a girlfriend and I would never ask you to change anything...but, yeah I guess I've always liked you.” The words left in a rush once it was all brought up. Nervousness played in his stomach, and his fingers played with a loose string on the hole of his jeans, not wanting to look at Jongin.

Another moment of silence passed where neither of them said anything, but suddenly arms were wrapped around Sehun, and Jongin's cheek rested on his shoulder. “I wouldn't stop being your friend over this,” he assured him, “You're my best friend too. I hope you know that.”

Relief and slight embarrassment dawned over him. At the fact that Jongin was so understanding yet the fact that they were still sitting in a coffee shop having such a conversation. Admittedly, the place was mostly empty, with only the baristas behind the counter and a middle aged man in the corner who was reading a newspaper. “Thank you.”

#

True to his word, Jongin didn't seem to allow the events in the cafe affect their friendship negatively. He still texted him the very next day asking to hang out, and Sehun agreed to meet him at the school. Since Jongin's school got out a bit later than his, he knew that the other's last day of school was on that day, and Sehun frankly wasn't sure why the other would want to spend such a time with him anyway. As it was, he knew from his school that on the last day there were usually celebrations and parties that took place, things he imagined Jongin would be the type to partake in, but he didn't question it anyway.

The school was a bit complicated to find, but thankfully since he'd turned 16 and was able to drive it wasn't as much of a hassle as it may have otherwise been. He waited, as Jongin had asked him to, along the half-wall that was built around the school's perimeter, a quaint but secure boundary. He was leaning against the wall, half-perched on it and under the shade of the tree as he awaited the time for Jongin to get out of school. He was a bit early, and that didn't bother him so much and he simply allowed himself to feel the warm breeze as it swept around him softly.

He wasn't sure how long he waited, mind drifting in and out of the future and the past in a weave he didn't know made any sense, but happened to be the tapestry of his life as it had been woven. Sehun was only startled back into the present when he suddenly felt a tap to his nose, and before him stood Taemin. “Oh...sorry, I kind of spaced out there I guess,” he immediately apologized, glancing to Taemin's side where Jongin stood, a smile on his face.

“I noticed,” Taemin laughed. “But Jongin told me about what happened after I left yesterday. I just really like being right.”

Sehun's jaw dropped slightly at the words that left the other boy, not sure if he was embarrassed or irritated that Jongin had told him. “ you,” he mumbled, half serious and half joking.

Jongin let out a little laugh. “Sorry, he wouldn't stop bugging me until I told him what happened,” he said with a shrug. “But thankfully, he needs to be on his way to Spain soon so we won't have to deal with his nosy self the rest of the summer.”

He let out a little nod, still a little unsure how to take the whole situation. “It's okay, I mean...I'm not hiding the fact that I'm gay,” he said. It wasn't completely true. He hadn't really told anyone about his preference, but he also didn't ever lead anyone to believe otherwise. It was still a little odd to say the words aloud, however.

“I think Jongin has something to tell you on that note,” Taemin snorted, glancing at his friend.

“Shut up,” Jongin swatted Taemin. “It's nothing, we'll talk about it later.”

Sehun glanced between the two of them for a moment, unsure of what the deal was or what he was being left out of. “This is getting to the point of weird, you know,” he said, though a little smile cracked at the corner of his mouth to alert them that he wasn't completely turned off of the situation.

Before anyone could say anything else, however, a black car pulled up near them and let out a quick honk. Taemin glanced behind himself. “That's me. Later, guys,” he waved, a smile on his pretty face before he bounded over to the car and slid inside.

Moments passed after he was gone where Jongin and Sehun simply looked at one another. “What was he talking about?” Sehun finally asked, a little bit bothered.

Jongin sighed. “Come on, want to go to the stream?” he asked instead of immediately answering him.

Not being one to ever really argue with Jongin – which was a bit of a surprise since he argued with most people – he went ahead and followed after the other. The walk was filled with mostly silence as they followed a path that Sehun didn't know, but he trusted that Jongin knew where he was leading them. And surely enough, after what he estimated to be around twenty minutes, they arrived at the stream that had occupied a good deal of their summers in past, only this time they came to the side of the waterfall first.

“Jongin...” Sehun said softly, encouraging him to speak up as he watched him go over to the fall and sit down. He followed after him, plopping down on the rocks.

“It's not a big deal. I mean...okay, it's like this. I've always been pretty convinced I was straight, right?” Jongin said, “I mean, I like girls. I like looking at them, I like kissing them, all that.”

“I know what straight means,” Sehun said, voice deadpan.

“Shut up, I'm not done,” Jongin laughed softly, “But okay. Like last year or so I was talking to Taemin and I wondered what it was like to kiss a guy too. Because I just...hadn't really thought about it much before, but I figured I should try it and see if I liked guys too. So I kissed Taemin, but he wasn't really into it,” he explained.

Sehun blinked a couple of times, not fully sure what to do with the information he'd been given. “Um, so Taemin is straight?” he asked.

“Presumably, yes,” Jongin shrugged, “But I liked it. I mean...it was weird since he's my friend and all, but it was nice. So I don't really know what I am.”

“Oh,” Sehun muttered. He still wasn't completely sure where this conversation was headed. “I mean, that's okay, right? You don't have to know.” He didn't much see the importance of labeling oneself anyway.

Jongin turned to look at Sehun for a long moment. “Can I kiss you?”

A moment passed where Sehun's eyes widened and he simply stared at the other. “You have a girlfriend,” he said quietly, though every piece of him wanted to just go for it. He'd been dreaming of this moment for too long.

“We broke up a few weeks ago. I just haven't updated anything about it,” he said, gaze still heavy on him.

“Oh...um, don't you think that might make things...weird?” he asked, though he couldn't hide the look of relief that crossed over his expression.

“It's already a little bit weird,” Jongin laughed. He reached out tentatively, hand cupping Sehun's face and drawing him closer, though he didn't close the distance.

Sehun swallowed, his nerves on fire and his skin feeling overly sensitive where Jongin touched him. It was all of his dreams come into one moment, and after only a brief hesitation he closed the distance between them, lips pressing softly against Jongin's. His eyelids fluttered closed, and his hand reached out to Jongin's waist, simply feeling a need to touch him.

Jongin's lips moved softly against his, seeming unsure and a little hesitant in the motions. His lips were soft, and Sehun was struck by the gentleness of the other, when normally he was a bit brash. It only lasted a moment, however, before he pulled away.

His eyes opened to see Jongin still so very close, their breath still mingling together. A warmth tainted his cheeks, and he knew he was likely blushing again. His hand dropped from Jongin's side, “Well?” he asked, not really sure what else to say. A million thoughts filled his mind like stars, but he couldn't seem to grasp any of them.

“That was nice,” Jongin said, voice almost no more than a whisper. His hand was still on Sehun's cheek, and his thumb moved to caress his cheekbone. “Was it okay?”

“It was wonderful,” Sehun confirmed, letting out a quiet little tinkle of laughter. He felt embarrassed, and his stomach was filled with a thousand caged butterflies.

Jongin smiled, and leaned forward again to press another soft kiss to his lips.

#

The next few weeks passed in a similar manner as the summers before, with them spending time exploring whatever haunts they could find in the town. Both of them could drive legally, but Jongin explained at one point that it was simply more fun to retain their youth and explore everything by foot. They didn't speak of the kisses that they shared at the stream, almost as though they hadn't happened except for in every waking moment in Sehun's mind.

But he didn't push it, didn't want to shove Jongin away by wanting to discuss it too much or asking too much of him. And that seemed to suit both of them, since neither really made a move to change it. Of course, a part of Sehun wanted to ask about, just to get it out of the way and see if it had really just been an experiment on Jongin's part or if it had meant something. His logic wanted to insist that Jongin hadn't made any sort of claim or promise that it was anything, after all, but his hope clung to the fact that he'd kissed him that second time. But he didn't want to set himself up for more disappointments, so he remained silent and let the weeks pass in the manner that most of their summers had.

They visited the ocean and went to movies; they walked through downtown and window shopped and talked about what had transpired over their school years. It was normal, and objectively it seemed as though nothing had changed, except that for Sehun, everything had. Because he'd learned the taste of Jongin on his lips, knew the feeling of the other's caress upon his cheek and the way he shyly nibbled his bottom lip before closing that distance. Everything was different, yet he could only pretend as though it hadn't for the sake of their friendship and for unknowing how Jongin felt.

One day they agreed that Jongin should finally come visit his family's vacation home, something that made Sehun a little bit uneasy given that he didn't particularly want to expose his friend to the stark difference in their lives, but he knew that it was a bit inevitable. After all, he'd seen the other's home and met his sister, so he supposed that the least he could do was allow him to see a piece of his life. He traipsed down the stairs and out onto the porch where Chanyeol was lounging on one of the chairs, his gaze on his phone.

“Hey,” Sehun grunted, taking the seat next to the other.

His step-brother glanced over to him, a wide smile coming to his face. “They won't be back until late tonight. Function at the club,” he informed, voice sounding all too pleased at the prospect.

Which, to Sehun, meant only one thing. “Oh...so I'm guessing you're having company tonight?” he asked, knowing that Chanyeol did some rather questionable things when their parents weren't around to tell him no.

“Naturally. But she won't be able to come over until she's done babysitting,” he shrugged, sliding his phone into his pocket and laying back. “What are you doing? Hanging with the townie again?”

Sehun knew that the other didn't actually mean anything by it, him calling Jongin a townie was more of a dig at their parents values than something he believed himself. “Mm, he's supposed to come here in a half hour or so,” he said.

“Ooh, so do I finally get to meet the elusive friend?” Chanyeol lightly kicked his chair playfully.

“I guess,” he shrugged, “I'm a little nervous though. Like...I've seen his house and obviously I know that he's not exactly...well off, but I don't know. Him coming here and seeing our vacation house just seems obnoxious.” It wasn't that common for him to actually go to Chanyeol looking for help with something, seeing as his older brother thrived on making jokes more than being serious.

Chanyeol hummed as though he was considering the words. “Well, I mean he knows you come from a wealthy family, right? This isn't going to be some sudden shock to his system?”

Sehun shook his head. “He knows.”

“Then I wouldn't worry about it. You accepted him for who he is, right? So shouldn't it go both ways?”

“You know you're smarter than you look,” Sehun said, though it was accompanied by a little smile to let him know that he was only kidding.

“Shut up,” Chanyeol laughed, “You're just too high strung all the time and you worry about every little thing. That's your issue. You need to just smoke some weed and chill, bro.”

Sehun snorted. “Probably,” he shrugged again. It wasn't as though that was the first time Chanyeol had said something similar to him, and a few times he'd given in and indeed gotten high with the other. It wasn't as though it was something new or unusual around his school, and it wasn't as though it was against his principals anyway. And it had succeeded in making him calm down, even though he was a little bit paranoid and ate too much.

“If you want any, let me know,” Chanyeol laughed again, the sound loud on the quiet of the porch. He stood and swatted Sehun on the arm. “When the townie gets here, I'll be in my room. I want to meet him.”

Sehun waved him away dismissively, agreeing that he would.

It was only a little while later that he saw Jongin's form making its way down the sand-covered beach toward his home. He was immediately recognizable to Sehun by his eternally tanned skin and the way that he carried himself. Almost effortlessly graceful, though his head was cast downward. Only when he was a few houses away did Sehun stand, leaning against the porch pillar to watch him. “Jongin, hey,” he said when he was within earshot.

The other boy looked up, a smile emerging on his face. “Hey. It's hard to tell most of these houses apart,” he admitted, standing at the bottom of the steps to the home.

“I know. They're all pretty much the same,” he agreed, “My parents have some kind of function at the country club, but if you want to meet my step-brother, you can. He wanted to meet you, too.”

“Cool,” he agreed, climbing the stairs to Sehun. “So this is how the rich people live.”

Sehun rolled his eyes and simply gestured for Jongin to follow along behind him. He wasn't all that used to showing people around, so it was mildly awkward, but he pushed it away and lead Jongin through the vacation home. “I don't know, do you want this tour-guide style or what? It's pretty basic,” he shrugged.

“And only like three times the size of my house,” Jongin laughed softly, not actually seeming perturbed by that fact.

However, Sehun felt a little bit bad about that fact. “Yeah...it's pretty obnoxious,” he mumbled. “I think Chanyeol's in his room,” he said, ushering the other to follow along as he lead the way up the stairs and down the hallway.

Jongin dutifully did so, though he paused for a moment at one of the paintings that decorated the hallway. “Your family isn't big on personal touches, is it?” he asked.

Sehun gazed over to the painting, something their designer had picked up from a gallery in town. “What do you mean?”

“Like...you guys don't have any family photos around. There aren't any personal touches, it kind of looks like a show house,” he explained.

It wasn't really something that occurred to Sehun, but at the mention of it, he couldn't help but agree. In Jongin's house there were baby photos and from years gone past, but they hadn't ever really been the type to put those things up. “Mom says that it cheapens the place,” he mumbled, a little embarrassed at how obnoxious that sounded.

Jongin snorted, however, and simply went with him to Chanyeol's door. “We're from different worlds, my friend.”
Sehun raised a hand and knocked lightly before opening the door. Chanyeol was sprawled out on his bed, music sounding from his speakers in a relentless rhythm. “Dude,” Sehun said to gather his attention, seeing as he hadn't looked up or even seemed to have noticed their presence.

However, at his voice, Chanyeol finaly cracked open his eyes and looked to them. “Oh, hey,” he greeted, immediately twisting around to sit up, a wide smile coming to his face. “So you're the townie.”

Jongin lifted a brow at the word, and Sehun stifled the urge to go over and smack his step-brother. “Name's Jongin,” he offered, not seeming all that fazed. “You're Sehun's step-brother?”

“Yep, Chanyeol,” he gave a little wave. “I was curious to meet you. Sehun's spent like how many summers with you? But he's like weirdly secretive about you, so hey I'm glad you actually exist,” he dissolved into a loud laugh.

Sehun groaned. “Shut up.”

“Yeah, I exist. Well, nice meeting you, Sehun was just about to show me his room,” Jongin said with a polite smile before taking Sehun's arm and leading him out.

He was glad that Jongin seemed to handle it better than he did, but he couldn't resist the urge to apologize once they were back in the hall. “He's not that bad once you get to know him,” he excused.

“Don't worry, he seems cool,” Jongin shrugged and followed after the other.

Sehun didn't want to dissuade Jongin from thinking so, but he went ahead and opened his door and stepped inside. He tried to look over the room as though he was new to it, with the video games and books lined over the shelves and the clothes strewn over a chair in the corner. “Uh, I forgot it's kind of a mess,” he excused with a snort, but it wasn't enough that he would bother to change it.

“It's very...you,” Jongin offered with a little smile.

The next few hours passed with them playing video games and arguing with one another – playfully, of course – over who won and who lost. It wasn't that often that Sehun actually had that kind of a time with his friends. Over the course of the school year he had become a bit more well-liked, but that seemed to entail being invited to parties and simply having conversations in the hallways, but it didn't actually mean much by way of spending time with people in particular. It was a strange, but fine line.

After a few hours, Chanyeol popped his head into the room. “Hey, Jongin, are you sticking around?”

Jongin turned to look at him. “Uh, I don't know, why?” he asked.

“Because my company is coming over in twenty minutes. And if you're leaving, you better do it now. And if you're sticking around, you two had better get anything you need from downstairs,” he warned before giving a cheery wave and popping away.

Sehun groaned. “If you want to leave, I don't blame you. Sometimes he gets kind of...loud,” he shuddered.

Jongin snorted. “It's cool, I'll keep you company,” he offered with a shrug.

“Cool. I'm gonna get us a soda and some chips before she comes, though,” he said and escaped down the stairs to go retrieve the items. When he returned to his room, however – promptly shutting the door behind him – Jongin was on the bed instead of on the floor where they'd been a moment ago. He was leaning against the headboard, legs extended out.

They agreed to watch a movie on Sehun's TV, something that was numbingly amusing and would hopefully block out whatever sounds might appear from down the stairs. Roughly a half hour in, Jongin suddenly reached out, a hand snaking around Sehun's waist. A chill ran down his spine at the sensation, and he turned his head to look at Jongin, a question written on his expression.

A little smile graced Jongin's face before he leaned in, pressing their lips together softly. Sehun hadn't expected that, since it seemed as though they were simply not going to talk about it anymore. But he also knew that he wasn't about to waste the opportunity, and it only took him a moment's hesitation before he relaxed into it, tilting his head a little more into him to welcome the kiss.

Jongin's lips were soft and pliant against his own, and moments passed as their mouths moved together slowly. A tongue graced the seam of Sehun's lips, something that sent warmth rushing through his stomach, and he opened his mouth for the other, his hand trailing to run through Jongin's dark hair. Jongin's tongue slipped into his mouth, caressing his tongue and teeth lightly, exploring his mouth with a languid sense of curiosity. A soft noise escaped the back of Sehun's throat and into Jongin's mouth as he caressed the other's tongue with his own. He pulled him in tighter, fingers digging into his hair.

A moment later, Jongin pulled away, breathing heavy as he watched Sehun closely. Teeth dug lightly into his bottom lip before a little smile appeared on his face. “Is this weird?” he suddenly asked, voice a raspy sort of whisper.

Sehun's breath caught in his throat before he offered a little shrug. “Maybe a little, but I like it. You know...it is a little weird that after you kissed me the first time we never really spoke of it again,” he pointed out. He wasn't sure that it was really the right time to mention it as such, but he'd never had the best timing in general. “Oh, sorry,” he realized his fingers were still clenched in Jongin's hair, and he released them.

“I was waiting on you to say something. It made me a little nervous...” Jongin trailed, gaze darting away for a moment. “Actually, you make me nervous.”

A frown came to Sehun's face, confusion and uncertainty written on his expression. “Wait, how do I make you nervous?”

His glance returned to Sehun, their faces still so close. “Because you're so beautiful and you live a life that's nothing like mine. And I just feel like you're so much better than me, so you make me nervous. I'm always a little afraid I'll mess everything up,” he admitted with a quiet laugh.

“Seriously?” he asked, a little confused as to how that had ever happened. “That's kind of funny, I feel the same way.” A little blush rose to his cheeks, however, as he played out the words of 'you're so beautiful,' that had escaped Jongin's lips.

Their conversation trailed from that, with Jongin leaning in again to resume the kiss. Hands trailed over one another's bodies, exploring and curious. But it didn't go any further than kisses trained on lips and down necks, tongues tasting and caressing visible skin.

#

The next weeks passed with kisses being traded at every available moment. Sometimes they were light little pecks on cheeks in a moment of slight affection, other times it lead to tongues swiping against each other and pelvises rubbing against one another until they exhausted themselves.

Sehun wasn't used to something like that, not exactly. He'd kissed a couple of people before, once at a party with some tall martial arts enthusiast and a few times the past year with a baby-faced senior. But neither was anything like his moments with Jongin, it never lead to much more than the kisses. And while Jongin never tried to push it much further than when they rubbed themselves against one another, he felt so inexplicably close and excited by the other's mere presence.

Of course, parts of their summer hadn't changed. They still swam in the ocean and watched movies and talked about their family troubles, but there was a different level of comfort and tension between them at the same time. They were more comfortable with one another given their honesty than they ever had been, but there was a part of Sehun that always wanted to be kissing Jongin, wanted to just pull him close and keep him there forever.

The last night of Sehun's family's stay, they were sitting on the porch of Sehun's vacation home, listening to Chanyeol talk on the phone to the girl he'd met over the summer, explaining how he didn't think they should be tied down to one girl when they were so far apart. Sehun snorted softly, “He gives this speech at the beginning and end of every summer.”

Jongin let out a little laugh. “He's gonna get himself in trouble one of these days,” he shook his head. “I don't want you to leave.”

“You never want me to leave,” Sehun said, though it was accompanied by a little smile. “But I don't want to either.”

“...you know, I think we've been avoiding this conversation all summer. But like...what are we? I don't want to pull that, but I mean...” he trailed off, gaze cast toward the ocean.

Sehun's stomach clenched. “I don't know, honestly. What do you want to be?” he asked.

“Maybe...well I guess we're on hold until next summer? It might be awkward if we just now decide to label ourselves as something else,” he said, gaze falling on Sehun.

He'd sort of expected as such, not really expecting that Jongin would want to keep something going when he wasn't even there. “That's fine,” he agreed, “a lot can change in a year.”

“I'm sorry. You're disappointed aren't you?” Jongin muttered, hand reaching out to Sehun's, clasping it lightly.

“Not really. I kind of expected you to say something like that,” he said, though he didn't really grasp Jongin's hand in return.

“Come here,” he said softly and pulled Sehun closer, placing a soft, lingering kiss to his lips. “Next summer you'll be back and everything will be like this again, okay?” he muttered quietly, promises spoken in his words.

Instead of answering, Sehun simply nodded. “We've got to get packing stuff into the car. But I'll text you later, okay?” he offered, trying to let Jongin know that he wasn't upset.

#

On the car ride, however, Chanyeol kept giving him strange looks. “What are you looking at me like that for?” Sehun finally asked after they'd passed fifteen minutes with the other sneaking confused looks at him.

Chanyeol glanced to the front of the car. “Dad, turn on the radio?” he asked, and waited until the man flipped the dial, classic rock playing from the speakers. While Chanyeol's dad was a successful man, he often lived a bit in his past. “I saw you and Jongin,” Chanyeol finally said, voice low.

Heat rose in Sehun's cheeks. He supposed that it wasn't that much of a surprise considering Chanyeol hadn't been very far away when it had happened, but he still hadn't wanted the other to see that. “What do you mean?” he asked, trying to play dumb in case it wasn't what he was thinking.

“You two kissed,” Chanyeol accused flatly.

“Oh,” he mumbled, not really sure what to say on that one.

“You're not even going to deny it?”

“Should I?”

Chanyeol frowned. “I mean...whatever, I don't care I guess. But are you two like...” he trailed, making vague motions.

“No. And it's none of your business.”

summer before senior year

Over the course of the school year, things had changed even more. Suddenly Sehun was invited to everything, and people seemed strangely interested in him. Girls whispered that he was 'hot' in the corridors, and he caught a few eyes cast on him with looks of interest. It wasn't anything he was used to, seeing as most of the time he was too shy and self-conscious to really branch out. But it made things easier, even if it was a bit odd to get used to. On the car ride to their vacation house, he texted with Jongin about his arrival.
Things hadn't changed that much between them in the year, they still spoke to one another regularly and made the same sort of jokes. But they didn't really talk about the kisses they shared or the promises of what was to come. Because frankly Sehun didn't want to handle that conversation, he didn't want to see Jongin's face or let him see the disappointment. 'want to go to the ocean?' Sehun texted him. It was strange that Chanyeol wasn't with them, having decided to take some summer classes and work through the summer instead of vacationing with them. Of course, Sehun had a hunch that it was more to do with a girl than with a job or any class, but he didn't bother to say so.

'come to the stream. I have a few things to tell you,' came the reply only a moment later.

The words brought a slight pang of anxiety into his stomach, the reply devoid of something that might be positive or negative. After sending a confirmation that he'd meet him there when they got in, he sighed softly and waited for them to make it to the oceanside town.

Thankfully, it didn't seem as though his parents were going to make some kind of production of their night, as they quickly ended up excusing themselves to go to the country club and left Sehun to his own devices. It was odd to have that happen without Chanyeol around, but then everything had taken a while to get used to without his step-brother around.

But he was glad for it since it meant he could go see Jongin a little quicker. It took him the usual twenty minutes to get to the stream that they'd been visiting for so many years, a sensation of familiarity and nostalgia dawning on him as he saw Jongin sitting by the water. Arms were folded around his knees, gaze focused on the waterfall under the bridge.

Sehun approached quietly. “Hey,” he said quietly.

Jongin pulled his gaze away and looked up to Sehun. A slight smile came to his face, “You're here,” he muttered, a bit of relief dawning in his voice.

“Every year,” he agreed, moving to sit down next to him. “What's up?” he asked. It was always a little odd, he wanted to let things ease right back into the way they had been the previous summer, but he knew that it wasn't so easy to just pick up that way after a year.

“Lots of things,” Jongin muttered, blinking a couple of times.

“What's wrong? Did something happen?” he wasn't used to seeing Jongin look so down. Normally he made jokes and smiles appeared on his handsome face, he wasn't used to the sad sort of look that was on his face.

“Mm, yeah, kind of. I mean...it's complicated, honestly. My sister...” he paused, “She's pregnant. We just found out a couple of days ago. She's a few months along already, my parents are sending her across the country to go live with my aunt.”

Surprise dawned on Sehun's expression, remembering the worry that had been in Jongin's voice when he spoke of how his parents were concerned for her. “Oh. Wow, I'm so sorry,” he uttered, hand reaching out to rub lightly along Jongin's back, “What do...what are you thinking about?”

Jongin shrugged a little. “I don't know. I just...I should be excited because graduation is here in a couple of days, but I just wish that this all hadn't happened. It just seems really...scary that my parents are just sending her away. I know it's probably for the best since my aunt can help her out a lot more than we could, but it's just...I don't know,” he shook his head. “I'm not sure how she could be so dumb.”

“Accidents happen,” Sehun muttered. He wasn't sure what to think of the situation, he felt for Jongin and wanted to comfort him, but he wasn't used to those kinds of problems. “How is she doing?”

“I don't know. She won't talk about it. She just holes herself up in her room and cries a lot,” he said.

“Has she thought of...you know, adoption or abortion?” he asked, though he knew it was a bit sensitive to ask that kind of thing.

“Against our religion,” Jongin offered a slight smile. “I don't know, it's all been decided I guess. Except I don't know the aftermath.”

“What about you? Are you holding up okay?”

“I haven't been able to tell anyone until now. So I think I'm doing a lot better,” he offered, reaching out for Sehun's hand, squeezing it lightly.

#

Everything seemed to have changed again with the dawning of the new summer. Jongin was constantly busy with graduation and saying goodbye to his classmates. His family troubles occupied whatever time seemed to be left, and Sehun felt a bit as though he was back to the summers before he met Jongin. His time was spent mostly alone and in the house, texting whoever contacted him from the city and complained about his own boredom.

The next time he even got to see Jongin was a couple of weeks after he'd arrived, with Jongin showing up one evening on his doorstep. Sehun was unable to hide the surprise that came to his face on seeing his friend. “Oh, hey,” he greeted, “you want to come in?”

Jongin slipped by him. “Sorry I've been so busy lately,” he scratched the back of his neck. “Things are kind of crazy.”

“I noticed,” Sehun muttered and shut the door behind him. “Want to order pizza? I was just about to.”

“Sure...” Jongin agreed.

Sehun pressed a few buttons on his phone from where he was already ordering. “Do you like everything?” he asked.

“Yeah, I'm not picky,” Jongin shrugged, going to sit down on the couch.

He nodded a little and confirmed the order. “So what are you doing? You actually got a free night?”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No.”

“You're barely looking at me and you keep answering me with these really dismissive responses. What's going on?”

“Nothing,” Sehun shrugged. But it was pointless to lie about the situation, and it was only a moment later that he left out a little sigh. “Fine. I'm not mad, I'm just...I don't know. But it's just weird. Last summer we were...well, whatever we were. And now you've graduated and I don't even know what your plans are this fall, so I'm really just not sure about anything.”

Jongin nodded a little, reaching out to Sehun. “Come here, I'm sorry,” he said.

Sehun walked over to him, not being one to really want to stay mad at Jongin for very long.

The other boy took hold of his hand and pulled him down to sit on his lap, arms wrapping around his waist. “Things have just been kind of...confusing. I'm sorry I haven't been around,” he said, chin resting on Sehun's shoulder.

He sighed softly, knowing that he was being a little bit selfish with asking for his attention considering what was happening with him. “No, it's fine. I'm sorry, I should let you do your thing. I guess I just got used to you being around all the time.”

“It's okay, I should have been making more of an effort.”

“So what are you doing this fall?” He'd known that Jongin was a year ahead of him, of course, knew that he would have to face the likelihood that everything would change. As everything had already changed so much.

Jongin's arms tightened around him. “Let's not talk about that now. We could watch a movie?” he suggested.

Of course, curiosity stemmed from those words, wondering what it was that Jongin wasn't telling him. It was clear from the way he simply changed topic, but he offered a little hum. “Sure,” he agreed, sliding off of Jongin's lap.

The hours passed with them watching movies and eating pizza that was too cheesy and too greasy, but mostly it was spent in silence from their part. Sehun sat between Jongin's legs and leaned against his chest, but nothing more happened aside from them simply enjoying each other's company.

#

After that night, their get-togethers still weren't as frequent as they had been in the previous summers, but Jongin made a bit more of an effort to hang around him. Things were still a little strange in the sense that Sehun still got the feeling that Jongin was hiding something from him, but he didn't want to push it too far. He hoped that he'd be told when the other was ready, and that he wouldn't be left completely in the dark about it all.

Weeks later, Sehun sat on the sand, the sun setting over the ocean. Hues of orange and pink tinged over the sky and reflected from the water, and Sehun just let the warm summer wind drift by him. Suddenly, however, hands were on his eyes and familiar lips graced his earlobe. “Guess who?”

“Hey,” Sehun said softly, reaching to pull Jongin's hand away from his face and turned to look at him.

His friend smiled and leaned in quickly to press a quick kiss to his cheek. “What are you doing? I went and knocked on your front door, but when you didn't answer I figured you might be out here.”

“Good guess,” he laughed softly, “What's up?”

“Mm, I have something to talk to you about. But I'm a little afraid that you're going to get mad.”

“That's always reassuring,” Sehun snorted softly, “Go ahead and say it, whatever it is.” There was a pit in his stomach at the words, but he didn't want to display how nervous he actually was about what Jongin might say.

Jongin moved to sit next to him. “You know how you asked me about this fall? I didn't really answer, but I guess I already know my plans. It's just...it doesn't involve here. Or the city,” he said, fingers toying with the ends of his hair.

Sehun nodded, not sure still where exactly it was all going. “Um, okay. But what are your plans then?”

A soft sigh escaped Jongin's lips. “It's...complicated. See, there's this woman. She's a wealthy widow, and she sort of...offered to help my family out if I went with her.”

“Wait...what?” Sehun blinked a few times. He expected that the words to leave his lips might be something about college or a job, something most people did after school was over. Not something about a widow.

“I don't really want to. But you know my family has a lot of...money problems. And she promised that if I go with her at the end of this summer then she'll employ my dad at one of her businesses, and she'll help my aunt with my sister,” teeth worried along his bottom lip softly.

Sehun blinked a couple of times. “Where did you even meet this woman?”

“She vacations here sometimes. And I don't know, she came into the coffee shop this past year. So she made me an offer,” he shrugged a little, “And I don't think I can say no.”

“What happened to college? Or anything? I mean...are you marrying this woman or something?” he asked, confusion clear in his tone.

“Not exactly. I mean, marrying me would bring her down, socially. You should understand. So I'm just going to...well...” he trailed off.

“Oh my god. Are you going to be like her...call boy?” Sehun couldn't hold back the look of disgust that came to his face.

Another sigh escaped him. “Sort of. Look, Sehun...I don't want to do this. I'm not in love with her or anything, but I really don't have much of a choice. It's something that will help my family for years to come. And I just...I didn't know how to tell you. But I wanted to let you know.”

“I think...I'm nauseous,” Sehun turned away, facing the ocean.

“I'm sorry. Come on, I only have this summer. I don't know when I'll get to see you otherwise,” he said, “She lives on the other side of the country.”

The pit rose into a lump in his throat. “Oh,” he could only mutter. Moments passed in silence, neither of them offering up anything to say. Sehun didn't know what to say, as he knew there wasn't much that could be done since Jongin had already made up his mind. He was losing Jongin sooner than he even anticipated, and he could only try and suppress the urge to vomit or cry.

#

Further weeks passed after that conversation where Sehun mostly ignored Jongin's efforts to contact him. He still didn't know what to think of the whole situation, didn't know what to make of it or how to deal with the sense of absolute loss that accompanied the news. He knew that it wasn't fair of him to have expected Jongin to stay loyal to him or that at some point they might ride off into the sunset together, but it was just so startling.

However, one evening he was traipsing along the sand, wallowing in his own misery when the clouds suddenly broke and rain poured down from the sky. Sehun sighed, having felt the sprinkles and the thick air that usually accompanied a rainstorm, but he didn't bother to move from the rain. It washed down on him, soaking his white button down shirt and black jeans. His dark hair matted against his forehead, but he simply shut his eyes and let the shower fall on him.

Moments passed before he suddenly felt a hand on his arm, tugging him out of his own mind. His eyes opened and his gaze fell on Jongin, staring at him with a look of concern adorning his face. “Come on,” he urged, pulling him along over to Sehun's vacation home, “Why were you just standing in the rain?”

Sehun allowed himself to be pulled along, numbly following behind him. “I don't know,” he admitted. It was only a few moments before they reached the porch, Jongin waiting on Sehun to open the door. “What are you doing here?” he asked as he opened the door for them both, not caring that he was dripping onto the hardwood floor.

“I wanted to see you,” Jongin explained, “Uh, do you have a towel?” he asked, not moving from the entryway.

Sehun grunted softly in acknowledgment. Fingers reached to the buttons on his shirt, undoing them quickly.

“What are you doing?” a look of confused sort of surprise dawned on Jongin's face as he watched Sehun strip out of his clothes.

“Why not? This way I won't drip all over the house,” he shrugged and let the shirt fall from his shoulders. Without hesitation, fingers went to undo his pants and he slid those down as well. He knew that it wasn't really necessary to do so, but he wanted to bother Jongin. He wanted him to see what he was missing by leaving him at the end of the summer.

“Sehun...” he trailed, though he quickly attempted to avert his eyes once Sehun reached for his underwear.

“What's the big deal? Are you going to lie and say you haven't wondered what I look like ? Now you know,” he pointed out. “You can take yours off too and you can borrow some of my clothes if you want.”

“Sehun, you're acting a little strange. Have you been drinking?” Jongin suddenly asked, a little frown on his face.

A little smile came to his face and he shrugged. “Maybe a little,” he confirmed, though only a moment later he stepped out of his clothes and padded out of the room toward the bathroom. He knew that it was definitely out of his normal character to be so brash and apathetic, but he was frankly just a little bit pissed about everything. He couldn’t blame Jongin in a certain extent, but he was simply angry that things had turned out that way.

He slipped into some sweatpants and a t-shirt, grabbing a similar set of clothes for Jongin to dry off in. He went back down the stairs, tossing a towel at his friend. “Here you go. Bathroom's over there if you want to get changed,” he offered before padding over to the kitchen to make them both some tea.

A few minutes later Jongin joined him in the kitchen, clothed in the items Sehun had laid out for him. “It smells like you,” he commented idly, before going to lean against the counter.

Sehun smiled a little. “I think it's my turn to apologize. I'm just...not really sure what to do with the information you gave me. You're the best friend I've ever had, so I guess I just...don't know what to do without you. So the thought of not seeing you next summer is just...too hard to deal with.”

Jongin nodded a little. “I know. I get it. I don't want to go without seeing you next summer either. But like I told you, I really don't see how I can say no. It'll help my family in ways that they can't manage, so I have to. If I had a choice I wouldn't.”

“I know,” Sehun muttered, though he was startled from his thoughts by the sound of the kettle whistling. He turned off the stove and turned to pour the water into the cups.

“I'm leaving next week,” Jongin suddenly said, biting his bottom lip softly.

“So soon?”

“Yeah. So I guess we should make the most of this.”

“Your parents don't care?”

“It's not ideal, but they don't seem to mind that much,” he shrugged.

Sehun let out a sigh, placing the kettle back onto the stove. “I'll miss you.”

“It's not goodbye.”

“You're moving across the country. I think it is,” Sehun didn't want it to be goodbye, but he didn't exactly see how it could be anything else. Of course, the thought of not being able to see Jongin next summer made him immediately want to start crying again, but he pushed it away.

Hands reached out and pulled Sehun closer, Jongin drawing him into his chest. “I'm sorry,” he whispered, arms wrapping around him tightly.

Sehun clenched his jaw, but allowed his arms to wind around Jongin as well. His cheek rested on Jongin's shoulder, inhaling the scent that was so uniquely Jongin. Like soap and the musky scent he always seemed to carry. “I love you,” he finally allowed the words to leave his lips. They'd been a bitter taste on the back of his tongue for the past couple of summers, but fear had kept them choked back.

“I know,” Jongin said softly, a hand trailing to Sehun's cheek to draw him into facing him.

He was a little bit surprised that tears had welled in the other's eyes. A moment passed where they simply shared one another's sadness, Sehun wanting to take in every curve and point of Jongin's skin. He didn't want to forget any part of him, didn't want to let any of it go for even a moment. “We have tonight, though, right?” he asked, arms moving from the embrace to wind around Jongin's neck, pulling him close to press light kisses to his lips.

“I wish tonight could last forever,” Jongin mumbled against him.

summer before college

Sehun sighed softly as he sat down on the rocks near the stream. It was quiet and empty without Jongin beside him, but the waterfall provided its constant rushing sound. He glanced again at the postcard in his hand, the front of it a black and white shot of some city that Jongin was living in now. He hadn't yet gathered the courage to actually read it, other than to check that it really was sent from Jongin.

He'd felt as though he needed to be somewhere that he could feel him. And although Jongin was everywhere in the town, he felt closest with him when he was at the stream. With a sigh, he turned it over and let his eyes scan over the message.

Sehun,

Normally I start getting excited for your arrival two weeks before the start of summer. And this year was no different. I woke up thinking about you, about the time we spend exploring that boring little town. And it dawned on me again that I won't be seeing you this summer, and it made me mourn for those times again. I miss you. And I love you, too. I always have, and I always will.

-Jongin

The words were crammed tightly in his scrawling handwriting, and Sehun's eyes stung as he read the words over a few times. He ached for the other, for the way that he said his name and for the touch of him as he sat next to him. He missed the way that at the beginning of summer he would always look so surprised to see him as though one year he might not show up. And he yearned for the assurances that they'd see one another the next summer, since he didn't know if he would ever see him again.

He ran his finger over the other's signature, seeing in his mind's eye the way that the other might have written to him, all hunched over with that pinched look on his face he got when he was concentrating. But hope lived in a dark corner of his heart, that maybe he would apply to colleges out where Jongin was now, and maybe it all wasn't really over. And even if it was, Sehun would always have Jongin anytime there was a summer wind that swept over him.